Prometheus

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If you haven’t figured out how dedicated I am to the Alien series, I literally ran almost three miles to my nearest movie theater to catch this and I don’t regret it. I’ve heard the arguments why some thrashed the pseudo prequel to Alien- I say pseudo prequel in the way The Hobbit is a pseudo prequel to Lord of the Rings. Both happen before, both have relevant characters, and both in essence have almost jack shit to do with the main story. Many look at Hobbit separate from the LotR trilogy which I think is appropriate; Prometheus deserves the same respect.

Prometheus is the story of the crew of the ship named so as they journey to a desolate world in search for the Engineers of mankind. On earth,  Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway  discovers ancient star maps indicating that man was created by otherworldly beings and in these drawings are coordinates to another planet, LV-223. The expedition is funded by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation (the very same as in the Alien series though the movies refer to them primarily as just “The Company”). We get a brief glimpse of the founder of Wey-Yu, Peter Weyland, a decrepit old man and in the same breath introduced to Vickers, the edgy corporate head on the trip and David, the synthetic meant to be Weyland’s finest creation. David cares for the ship while the rest of the humans are in hyper sleep. LV-223 is barren of any life but they find a massive structure fans of Alien will know well as a space ship. Inside they find the severed humanoid head belonging to one of the Engineers, evidence something dark happened on that ship, and several containers of a black tar like substance. David sneaks a canister of it away, while Shaw investigates the head. David drops a single drop of the substance into Holloway’s drink and drinking it, him and Shaw bone. We learn Shaw still believes in god even after discovering our creators, she was close with her father and her mother died when she was young, and she can’t have children. Charlie wakes up with blood running out of his eye. Hours later his body starts irrevocably breaking down, his face swelling and contorting, his skin turn black. Vickers nukes Holloway with a flamethrower to cut the threat of contagion. Shaw is sedated and brought on board. The day before, two idiot crew members got lost on the ship and trapped there during a sandstorm. In the first WTF scene of the film, the hammerpede emerges from the ooze and kills them, the last victim falling into the ooze. After Holloway got torched outside the ship, the pit crew comes upon a terrifying surprise. There lost crew mate returns in a startling new way- in the theatrical version he looks like more a rabid ape man but a deleted scene reveals much more traditional alien features. He attacks with feral speed and inhuman strength; it takes like four guys with flamethrowers to bring his ass down, leaving four or five dead in less than two minutes. Shaw awakes to an even more disturbing fact, hours have passed since Charlie died and shes four months pregnant…and it’s not human. In a harrowing scene, she gives herself a C section on a med tube, revealing the baby trilobite, getting the hell out of there with the creature trapped in the tube. She discovers Peter Weylnd was on the ship all along and Vickers is his daughter, and both Shaw and Weyland want answers from a sleeping Engineer, but the question remains, why did they want to destroy us?

Prometheus is a good, thoughtful Sci-fi epic about man’s greatest question: where do we come from? Michael Fassbender steals the show as David, a complex character I couldn’t peg as truly good or evil but sympathetic. I also have to say Naomi Repace gave a very underrated performance as Shaw. The cinematography is beautiful and the movie has a great sense of wonder and awe in it’s scope; the score is a good blend of original score with small nuances of the Classic Alien’s score. If I have to pick a flaw it’s that it raises a shitload questions you know it won’t answer by the end. If you jump in expecting a A to B prequel, you will be severely disappointed but go in wanting a good classic Sci-Fi epic with some creepy if not disturbing body horror moments, you’ll enjoy it.

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Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

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First i’m going to say, I did prefer the book. With that out of the way this movie is harmless…well mostly harmless. The movie starts off by introducing you to what is pretty much the main character Arthur who just never got the hang of Thursdays. His house is about to be bulldozed and he is laying in front of it to prevent this and the construction of a highway system. Around this time his friend Ford rushes up with a shopping cart full of beer and peanuts for what I can only assume was what he wanted to bring off Earth with him. He then bribes the crew to wait awhile before demolishing Arthur’s house. Coincidentally Ford was there to pick up Arthur and catch a ride off Earth before a fleet of construction ships destroy the Earth to build am intergalactic space highway.

This is much of what goes on in the movie. Seemingly weird and random things to create a humorous and interesting narrative. I would definitely suggest checking out the movie or even the book if you like comedy, and even more if you want to see Snape ( Allen Rickman) play a clinically depressed robot. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Carrie

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The classic that started it all for the legend that is Stephen King. I’m sure we’ve all either seen one of the 3 film adaptations or seen a parody of it somewhere, my first intro to Carrie was a moment in Tiny Toons for shit sake. If you haven’t been introduced to this classic, here’s the gist: a unpopular girl in high school gets bullied for being weird while at home she takes shit from her insanely over religious mother and learns she has the gift of telekinesis (the ability to move things with her mind.) When life looks to be looking up when she begins to understand the power and gets asked to prom by a popular guy, it violently goes to shit when she gets drenched in pig blood as a prank and Carrie goes apeshit. First I’m going to say I love the book. Every film has Carrie has a defenseless, skinny, quiet, girl but in the book we’re able to see her dark, hateful feelings boiling inside and her feelings on god which are interesting; of every adaptation I always enjoyed the book’s bleak ending the best. Carrie dies wounded on the side of the road after killing her mother, most of her classmates and destroying most of the town, just her and Sue Snell- the mean girl who took pity on Carrie. They talk one last time, Carrie driving her lifetime of pain into Sue’s memory like a nail, dying before sending out one last wave to scramble the minds of the town so they can’t remember much except that Carrie fucked them up. The 2002 film has an intersting ending where Carrie lived and her and Sue ran off, forever on the run. Of the films, 2002 was my favorite and most accurate to the book. For the original, Piper Laurie stole the show as Carrie’s mad mother, one of the scariest performances I’ve ever seen but Sissy Spacek is probably my least favorite Carrie. As for the 2013 remake, Chloe Grace Moretz gave a great performance as Carrie but besides that the movie was a modern day retread with DragonBall Z effects. Either way you go with it, it’s still a great story but I do recommend hitting the book first, it’s a quick but powerful read from a powerful writer.

The Amityville Horror (2005)

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Hey who wants to go back in time and watch Ryan Reynolds play a complete psycho and possibly murder his family? Did you say yes to that question? Than skip this review and just go watch the movie. Still on the fence? Keep reading.

There have been many iterations of the Amityville Horror with varying degrees of accuracy to the actual events. If you want to research the real story feel free, but its pretty boring and has very little in common with the movies. With that being said lets move on.

The special effects are pretty well done as is everything else you would want in a movie. By now we all know the story pretty well, family moves into house, shit starts getting weird, little girl gets an imaginary friend, things slowly get worse, wife realizes something lives in the house. Dad tries to murder everyone. However the real star of this movie and what truly makes this movie from typical demonic presence in a house movie into the realm of classic is Ryan Reynolds. From the onset he plays his usual self. a Fun loving guy that cracks jokes, and slowly descends into madness. And he does it amazingly well. Little things like simply being a bit snippy with the wife, and moves on towards insomnia. But at each stage he never truly lets go of the last, His performance was far beyond what I expected. As always, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

IT review,2nd opinion

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So me and Torsten went down to our local theater today, our first visit in fact. The Iron Warhorse Movie Bistro had a really old time feel with old photos of our home town in Scranton Pennsylvania. Great theatre with probably the most comfortable seats I have experienced in a theater. I snapped a couple photos for your enjoyment.

Their walls are lined with similar photos and I absolutely loved the person touch they had. The staff was friendly as well. If you are in the area check them out. Now on to the review.

First I have to admit, the first time I saw a picture of Pennywise and then the first trailer for the film, I was expecting a sub par movie. I was wrong. The acting was great, and if you are a fan of the Netflix show Stranger Things you will love how this movie feels. The acting is great and I can’t say there was a weak performance. The special effects looked great and the music score and sounds went very well with the movie itself.

The opening scene of course is Billy and George building the boat, and while George goes into the basement the suspense starts with a great scene and moves eventually into him chasing his boat down the street. As shown in the trailer he slams into a saw horse and his boat goes into the sewer. This is our first real taste of the new clown, and he is creepy as hell.

Throughout the movie many people let out small yelps or gasp as various scenes startled many. While some of the scares come from jump scares they are all pretty well placed and the movie did not rely on them to much. The movie does have a few comedic moments but they aren’t as plentiful as I had feared and they never took away from the sense of dread these kids had in the movie. I highly recommend seeing this in theaters if you can.

I shall now say something I NEVER thought I would say. This movie is superior to the original in ever single way. I loved the original and I loved Tim Curry. And if you are looking for a similar movie and performance you won’t get it. You should not compare one to the other as they take totally different ways of telling the same story, but this movie and Bill Skarsgard are am all around better horror movie. As always thanks for reading, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

It (2017)

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Today me and Savior had our first official outing as Saviorgaming, being able to head out to see a movie and say we were working- one of the coolest feelings ever. We saw It pretty much the most epic way possible at the new Iron Horse Movie Bistro in downtown Scranton, and we rode the bus back…getting dropped off at Jackson Street in the rain…next to sewer grate and we were legitimately  creeped out over the coincidence. I’m just gonna say this, I’m sorry I ever gave this movie shit. Upon the first release, I didn’t like Pennywise’s new design initially; I thought the first couple trailers were ok but nothing special. I was insanely wrong.

It is the story of Bill, Richie, Ben, Beverly, Eddie, Mike, and Stanley- young kids deemed preteen losers in Derry, Maine during the late 80’s who have to come together to stop Pennywise the shape-shifting demon clown that feeds on children and fear. One of Stephen King’s most famous and frightening horror stories, It was two part mini series in 1990 with Tim Curry playing Pennywise, becoming an iconic figure of 90’s horror. Problem was it was a series meant for basic cable so we got a accurate but watered down version of the tale, but 27 years later Pennywise returned as he does in the lore, new and brilliantly portrayed by Bill Skarrsgard. Whereas Curry had a more natural lightheartedness about him and his look was more of a normal clown, the modern look is more accurate to what I pictured when I started reading the book, no much a perfect imitation of a clown but something clearly trying to imitate but not fully succeeding. I like his aged, vintage appearence, a long open face with long pointed teeth reminiscent of classic Nosferatu, and a very off putting thing where his left eye keeps drifting. The effects on all of his forms are great and this movie does not pull back on the violence toward children which I respect; the opening scene with Georgie, it doesn’t cut away when Pennywise shows his true form and chomps Georgie’s arm clean off. I admit to jumping when this happened, knowing this sure as shit wasn’t edited for TV. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the movie’s lead children do an amazing job, showing a genuine chemistry I haven’t seen since Guardians of the Galaxy or the Power Rangers reboot. I believe them as relate able kids, not squeaky clean Hollywood kids- they swear, they freak out, and they deal with some really heavy shit in there lives. I really can’t find any serious flaws with the plot, except that Ben and Mike feel kinda pushed back to the side but not to the degree I’ve seen in other movies but overall I highly recommend It and unless I see something at least twice as good, I’m calling It my favorite horror movie of the year. May the gaming gods bring you glory…because everything floats.

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Sharknado review

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Ok lets be 100% honest. This isn’t exactly a good movie. Its campy as hell, the dialogue is down right painful at times and they don’t even attempt to take the CGI serious. And I loved this movie because of it. Sharknado wasn’t scary or well written, it was just fun.

This movie reminded me of an old 80’s B movie. Fake blood is used by the truck load when a shark being flung through the air rips off a guys arm. Old people panic when sharks are tossed into swimming pools seemingly at random by tornadoes.  A gas can and some matches tossed into the pool to deal with them somehow ignites the entire damn pool into a fire storm for no other reason than it will look cool. This is definitely a niche market that most people don’t care about but the Syfy channel has mastered, and the gaming gods thank them, and may they bring you glory.