Tag: Movie Review

Knock at the Cabin Movie Review

Knock at the Cabin is probably the first Dave Bautista movie I have seen that wasn’t in some way an action movie. I wasn’t really sure what to think going into this but it looked interesting.

M. Night has a way of making 2 types of movies, great and why the hell did I waste my time watching this,and I’m happy to say this one falls into the pretty great category because it doesn’t really force you into making any decisions, while also making you feel for both sides of what should be,and is, a crazy situation.

The movie starts off with a little girl named Wen catching grasshoppers outside of the cabin her family is vacationing in. This is when Leonard (Dave B) makes his entrance and instead of his usual style he is simply shown as a very big man walking in the woods.

He sits down and talks to Wen and quickly we discover this soft spoken giant of a man is here on a mission,one he is not happy to be on. We discover Wen has 2 fathers and when asked how she felt about it she basically tells me she loves her dad’s and it’s only when people try to hard that she becomes uncomfortable with them asking about it. (This is obviously done in little kid language) Leonard quicky tells Wen to remember no matter what happens when his associates arrive, he is her friend above anything else.

Things quickly take a turn when they are forced to break into the cabin and let this family know that one of them must be sacrificed to avoid the apocalypse. The rules are simple. Nobody can leave the cabin, this family must make the choice themselves, and they must also make the sacrifice themselves.

What follows is a weird ride if it is true or isn’t it true, discovering one of these 4 may or may not be the homophobic man that attacked one of the fathers in the bar which is what caused this man’s distrust of people and some tastefully done death scenes.

The movie is very well crafted to make you think instead of trying to catch your interest with blood and gore. At times I even found myself questioning the gay couples motives for not making the choice as it becomes more and more clear this may not be some cult sort of thing.

This brings me to Dave’s performance as Leonard. He was phenomenal and even when I felt he was in the wrong for even being there,I wanted to see him win. This also brings me to what you rarely see in movies. Without giving away the end of the movie, neither side is right or wrong in many ways. I found the whole thing interesting. I definitely recommend checking it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Beware: Children at Play

For starters this 1989 slasher is niche as niche gets,I had never even heard of it until @torstenvblog told me about it,which is how we spent New Years Eve, watching Beware: Children at Play.

The movie starts off setting up the soon to be story, a Dad and his son just vacationing in the woods, until dad steps on a bear trap and after days in the woods dies in front of his son.

The rest of the movie focuses on a sheriff and a writer trying to solve the mystery of the disappearing kids in the area. Later you will discover that the missing children are actually cannibals eating people.

The movie itself is,well it’s bad. The acting looks like something from a bunch of high school students who were forced to perform a play and had no real interest in theater. The effects even for the 1980’s not only didn’t look good some made no sense,for example a guy being chopped in half with a scythe but there being no blood on the ground or the weapon. Also fair warning, a trigger warning if you will, there is a sex scene that is basically a rape scene.

The dialogue as well is far from even decent. The movie is however greatly entertaining and I will say the ending itself is probably one of the most ballsy I have ever seen in a movie. The good news is tho you can just watch it on YouTube,which I have shared below. So please go and enjoy this abomination,and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

I Still See You Review

I Still See You is a 2018 movie based on a book that starts off with what is truly a terrifying premise to be honest. An accident at a lab, due to a Hadron Collider, causes a massive explosion. This explosion kills a ton of people and leaves behind remnants.

The remnants are basically ghosts that go through these small loops every day at the same time in the same place daily. For example one old lady crosses the same street every morning at the same time in the same way. Now however everyone can see them.

You can’t really interact with them and if you try they sort of vanish and they don’t even know you exist. They are even governed by 3 laws that have held true since the accident.

This is sort of terrifying honestly because imagine this in the real world, a mother or daughter dying and then simply showing up for breakfast daily or having to see a murder over and over again in your home.

This is also where the movie falls to pieces because the entire plot revolves around this premise falling apart magically but only for this girl and her friend while nobody notices and also those laws that have held true for a decade not being laws,but only in this situation.

The acting is fine, Bella Thorn does an admiral job doing what she can to keep this convoluted plot together. And her co-star and love interest Richard Harmon have some good chemistry. I’d like to see them together in a movie that doesn’t fall apart at the half way mark.

I didn’t hate this movie, it was a pretty average experience. I’d actually watch it again if my friend threw it on. I simply hated that what started out as a great idea that could have been terrifying so easily decided to simply reverse course and say everything they spent time establishing as true was a lie and did it in such a lazy way.

I won’t spoil the movie for you, as always I do hope you will watch it and make your own decision and come back and let me know. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cocaine Cougar Movie Review

Cocaine Cougar is a movie about an escaped Cougar from a lab hyped up on cocaine that kills people. That’s it,that’s the entire movie. It has no other story going on.

I wish I could say something good about this movie. I can’t,but I wish I could. The story doesn’t really exist,at one point I spent about 5 minutes (literally) just watching 2 people walk around a carnival and it would jump back to a red tinted camera moving around to represent the cat walking around. There wasn’t any spoken dialogue for any of it.

In fact in the roughly hour and 5 minute run time, at least 10-15 minutes of it was generic rock music or just people walking around.

The actors looked like the had fun making the movie however,and that’s not something you often see these days. Seriously though, don’t watch this movie. It isn’t fun bad, it’s just horrible. The writing is bad, and has no real redeeming qualities. Shout out to the actors tho for giving it their all still. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pearl (2022)

Pearl is the prequel to X and basically tells the story of how Pearl ended up on the farm with her husband. If you recall Mia Goth played both the main characters Maxine and Pearl in X and in this one also plays Pearl once more as a young lady.

Pearl has a much different time than X, taking place during the Spanish Flu of 1918 while most of the men are away during the first Great War it starts out quite happy as Pearl dreams of escaping the family farm for a life of dancing like the girls in her films.

We quickly find that her father is confined to a wheel chair and has very little know of what is going on and needs constant care and her mother, Ruth, an older German woman is quite the uncaring woman. She is constantly speaking down to Pearl and her dreams and simply wanting things done because that is what is best. One example of this was when Pearl rode her bike to town for more medicine she stopped for a show and didn’t bring back 8 cents. Ruth noticed this forbid Pearl from eating dinner and she was only allowed to eat this for breakfast the next day to make up for the money she spent.

This is where we see the madness in Pearl go from subtle to more and more pronounced as she desperately wants to leave this farm and her family behind.

The movie is great and makes an excellent edition to the series of films and there is more to come. It perfectly captures the feeling of the early 1900’s without resorting to using far outdated technology or anything silly like that. This one is definitely worth checking out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

New Shark Side of The Moon Review, Tubi Original

When I first heard about this movie from a friend, I did not believe it was real. A quick google search ends up at imdb and discover hey Dark Side of the Moon is very real. The reviews are horrible, and rightfully so, but we will get to that in a bit.

I love the sharks

The story for Shark Side of the Moon is simple, and completely bonkers. The movie starts a long time ago in the USSR, right after America landed on the moon. After winning the space race, the USSR decided it would claim the moon for itself. It would do this by creating a human/shark hybrid that could survive pretty much anywhere and just ship them to the moon.

This ends about how you would expect, a scientist scares another as a joke, a bucket flies into a pool and hits a laser which leads to their escape. Two scientist eventually board a conveniently placed rocket and take these things to the moon, you know the moon the USSR couldn’t get to in the first place?

I wish I could say this is was the most ridiculous part of the movie but truthfully its not even close. I didn’t even mention any of the stuff on the moon and that is where all the real what the fuck happens.

Visually this is some Grade A high quality B movie stuff going on. Straight out of the 80’s here, and the sound was basically there to match. The acting was actually pretty well done, you can tell the people in this movie weren’t just phoning it in for a pay check.

This movie truthfully got some horrible reviews, and rightfully so. From a technical sense visually and such it wasn’t a good movie. However I was movies to be entertained , and this movie did that better than most AAA titles out there, It was just fun. If you can go into a movie expecting a fun movie, this is worth watching. It is sort of like Sharknado in that regard. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hellraiser (2022)

This movie gets a lot of hell (pun intended) and honestly I don’t think it deserves it. I will go on the record and say it is probably the 2nd,if not 3rd best of the series. First off,it’s one of the few movies that still did practical effects in this day and age,so huge shout out to that. Jamie Clayton did a great job playing a difficult role, and unlike the most recent movies in the series this one had a plot and script that actually made some sense.

This time around we basically got to see what would happen if a very rich man got bored and collected the puzzle, had someone solve it and watched them die. Yes he was a very sick man, but at the same time who wouldn’t want to know what that thing did?

Obviously the story builds from there as we meet our main character Riley who’s brother has disappeared and she believes this insane puzzle is responsible,one that she now thinks may be after her (spoiler alert,it is) I truly wish I could get more into the story without absolutely destroying the movie for you all,but it completely would.

What I can say is the practical effects in this movie show why more movies need to go back to using them. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Free Guy (Review)

Free guy is of course a Ryan Reynolds movie, and I am a sucker for his movies. Shawn Levy as a director was great and with co-stars Jodie Comer and Joe Keery this was bound to be a great movie. Add to that a simple yet intriguing concept of what would happen if the NPC’s in the games we love could just go and decide to do whatever they wanted, and you get a recipe for, well something.

Free Guy Sees Molotov Girl (Jodie Comer) attempts to find the code her and Keys (Joe Keery) made and later sold to Antwan (Taika Waititi) and prove he illegally used it to create his game. At the same time, Guy (Ryan Reynolds) a simple Bank teller decides there has to be more to his life than getting robbed and saying his catchphrase “don’t have a good day, have a great day” One day after seeing the in-game avatar of Molotov girl he decides he wants to be the hero and confronts the bank robber, who also happens to be a real-life player of this open world game.

This will set off a chain reaction that leads to self-discovery and love for Guy, who people don’t realize isn’t a player character that has hacked an NPC skin. He is also the person that levels up the fastest in the history of this game, and he does so by being the good guy. In a world filled with crime he attempts to prevent it but stopping bank robberies, wanton murders, and destruction, and the gaming gods know what else.

Added to this the movie is full of great cameos I won’t spoil for you, just keep an eye out for not only people you know, listen to voices. There was at least one I wasn’t sure of until I wrote this and looked it up. The movie is far from perfect, but it’s the perfect amount of fun. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Troll (Netflix 2022)

Troll from Netflix is one of those movies you watch and leaves you wanting more and at the same time asking yourself what the person who made this thing was drinking. I mean that as a compliment by the way.

This thing starts off with a father and daughter climbing a mountain, a daughter that probably shouldn’t be doing this by the way. Once they get to the top they sit there having a discussion about myths and poems etc and she sees the faces of the trolls that drank too much and turned to stone with the sunlight.

We fast forward about 20 years and this girl is now on a dinosaur dig desperately trying to find some bones before their funding is gone and during a speech about having to have faith and deliver she finds a T-Rex skull. While all this is going on there is some digging and blasting elsewhere and a troll is awakened and gets a bit pissed and kills some people.

Of course in the small country of Norway the government tracks down a bunch of doctors,hacks a cellphone from one of those crushed people and manages to find footage and still nobody believes it’s a troll.

Like most monster movies it takes awhile before anyone will believe this thing is real, and when the big reveal comes the troll actually doesn’t look too bad. It’s about 130 feet tall for some reason and while not as fancy as the newer Godzilla vs Kong movie it looks better than many monsters we have been treated too.

This is one of the closest movies I have seen in a long time to a classic Kaiju film. It’s got a solid story,a giant monster destroying stuff and it looks good while doing it. The movie isn’t by any means fantastic,but damn if it isn’t fun. Check it out,and may the gaming gods bring you glory.