You know its either got to be a really epic masterpiece or an atomic dumpster fire to bring me back and yet here I am. I followed the Callisto Protocol for quite a while, praying it would fill the void left in Dead Space’s absence. The gore, the aesthetic, the monsters seemed to be there but what horrors I found at Black Iron Prison were more than even I bargained for.
Jacob Lee is a space courier on his way to complete what should have been his last ride after being promised a huge payday. That is until his ship is boarded by what he first believes are pirates, who turn out to be terrorists related to a biological attack. Jacob dispels the terrorists but his ship crashes on Callisto, one of Jupiter’s moons. His cargo is intact but his shipmate is dead. Help comes quickly from Black Iron prison, taking Jacob against his will. Stranded and in the cruel prison’s grasp, all hell breaks loose when an unknown mutagen runs rampant through the prison, turning the guards and inmates into gruesome monsters. Can Jacob escape the moon with his sanity and his life?
Callisto may be trying super hard to be the spiritual successor to the Dead Space and if not for one glaring problem it might have passed as a dimestore knockoff. It’s not scary whatsoever, desperately relying on jump scares and gore that lose their steam early and become just plain damn annoying. The voice acting work is good but the characters never did much to grab me. The game does look good, which is the best compliment I can give it. The ultimate downfall comes in the bonkers ass gameplay. The game is first and foremost a melee brawler with one of the most bizarre control schemes I’ve used in a long, long time; once you shut your brain off, the combat is honestly pretty mindless. If that wasn’t enough, there are a lot of bullshit deaths that occur; at least the death scenes are ultra-bloody. In the end, The Callisto Protocol is a C rate knockoff of a horror classic that might be ok for a discount playthrough but I wouldn’t go suggest going past $20 at the absolute most (yes, I bought it day one for 60 and yes I did kick myself in the ass thank you very much). May the gaming gods bring you all glory.
Savior Gaming 