Category: Uncategorized

Primetime

Why don’tcha take a seat? Perhaps one of the most infamous phrases of the 2000’s came from one of the most controversial shows ever put on TV: To Catch A Predator with Chris Hansen. Week after week thousands tuned in to watch the stoic journalist confront child molesters and pedophiles on national tv, culminating in some heavy ethical debates as well as an insane confrontation that ended with the suicide of a public official. Not only does this story follow the rise and fall of Hansen but the journey of Daniel Plum, a struggling actor hired to act as one of the child decoys tasked with luring out the worst of the worst. What’s the cost of fame and how far is too far?

Ok, let’s get this out of the way: I’m not going into the accuracy of this movie. The real Chris Hansen is pretty pissed at how this movie portrays him-a conflicted, imperfect family man with big dreams whose willing to do some ugly shit to achieve them. Much like Oppenheimer, I’d argue it’s a realistic portrayal of a human being. Pattinson is great as Hansen, and I gotta give him credit for nailing Hansen’s memorable cadence and inflections. Skyler Gisondo was also incredible as Decoy Dan Plum, disappearing into the role as well as Pattinson did his; I totally forgot he was Jimmy Olsen in Superman (2025). The movie on the whole is entertaining as hell on the whole. Visually it’s a knock out with a score that compliments the psychedelic vibes and the eerily faithful 2000’s TV look to everything. The movie is pretty quick, staying focused on strictly the span of To Catch A Predator. The only real complaint I have is that the ending feels abrupt. I feel like Dan Plum got a reasonable end, the producer got a reasonable end, but not Hansen.

In the end, I really enjoyed Primetime. It’s funnier and trippier than I expected with some great performances I’d highly recommend. May the gaming god’s bring you glory.

Slayground trailer

Halloween is upon us and sometimes, we need something simply fun. A24 presents us with Slayground, which looks likes a cool horror romp at a haunted house. Admittedly, I have a soft spot in my heart anytime I hear Bodies by Drowning Pool. The killer looks pretty cool too. Given the fact A24 has a part in it, I’m sure the movie will have some elevated hook we aren’t seeing. Worst case, it looks like a nice slasher to populate the season. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Fog

Every town has its share of ghost stories. Antonio Bay is no different. The quiet sea side town is gearing up to celebrate it’s founding when a mysterious fog rolls in from the sea. Mysteriously power goes out, windows shatter and knocks can be heard with seemingly no one there. Coincidence or is the the town’s bloody secrets coming back for revenge as the long lost crew of the Elizabeth Dane have come ashore once again…

So John Carpenter had to do something in the couple years between Halloween and The Thing . I remember me and my dad trying to watch the godawful remake on video and my dad, legend he was, snoring halfway through it. The original legitimately feels like a old fashioned campfire tale in the best way. The opening perfectly sets up the movie’s atmosphere as well as some great cinematography accompanied some great music from Carpenter himself. I really liked Jamie Lee Curtis and Tom Atkins’s chemistry. I loved Antonio Bay as a setting, it felt like a cozy little vacation town I wouldn’t mind taking a trip to-if not for the ghost pirates. While I can’t say I was scared, I did appreciate the less is more approach to the ghosts and they’re are some badass shots of them towards the end. My only real complaint is the movie is a bit too much of a slow burn, feeling longer than it actually is. It drags a little in the second act mostly though the climax was a nice payoff.

In the end, the fog is definitely worth checking out, especially with spooky season around the corner. It’s definitely a cozy, turn the lights off and curl up on the couch kind of horror movie that looks great 45 years later. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

IT: Welcome t Derry (sn1)

Derry, Maine is a quiet town tat slips right out of your memory once you leave. Every 27 years, children disappear and no one has answers. Every 27 years children see terrible things, hear voices around the drains, and many are never heard or seen again. What happened in Derry 27 years before the Losers Club fought Pennywise, well, come on down and see what surprises lurk in the lovely little town.

I love the IT movies and the miniseries (RIP Tim Curry) so I was expecting a iffy, low effort season that vaguely resembled the remakes. However, I’m ecstatic to say in a lot of ways I enjoyed the show more than the movies. Fans of King’s lore will have a lot of chomp at; I lost my shit a few times with certain Dark Tower references and the Shining connections were great. The acting is fantastic and I gotta say all the characters felt like they belonged in a Stephen King story. Again there’s a few surprise reveals I don’t want to spoil but they are well done. This show is very hard-hitting when it comes to brutality and the imagery- full warning, you’ll see some messed up shit happen to children. I even shivered a few times with how far the show was willing to go. The effects and setting are incredibly done. It has one of my favorite opening title sequences ever. Lastly, I was thrilled this wasn’t the Pennywise show- we don’t see the iconic clown til halfway in but the revelations we get and the shocking moments make him feel more threatening than ever.

Of course, nothing’s ever perfect. In this case, there is a plotline involving the army and Derry that never fully full circle for me. The ending is a bit too heavy handed with the “power of friendship” and the finale did feel drawn out. I also had to wonder why the Hanlon’s chose to stay in Derry after all the crazy crap that happens. I do love the little surprise appearance at the end that connects to IT 2017.

In the end, I adored Welcome to Derry and I’m incredibly hyped we’re getting a second season. I highly recommend it but I’m warning you their is a lot of triggers and tons of disturbing imagery. May the gaming gods let you float down here.

Scary Movie (2026)

Remember Scary Movie folks? In the age of legacy sequels, reboots, se-boots, and remakes galore, of course Scary Movie came back. I was so glad to Have Cindy, Brenda, Shorty, Ray, and a lot of the original cast back. But doe it pay off? Sadly, not really.

Scary Movie 6 loosely follows Scream 2022 (Scream 5) and Scream 6 with a little bit of Halloween (2018) for good measure. Ghostface is back and again is killing the old survivors of the original movies as well as their insufferable offspring.

So for the positive, the original cast is still great. You can tell they were still into it and the meta commentary moments were the best parts to me. Besides that I barely laughed. The movie is basically lazy skits woven together that are very similar to the format of the dreaded 5th film. There’s a lot of throw away gags from the from the first 2 movies that are painfully forced. Gone is the original magic. Savior asked a valid question whilst I ranted about this movie: were the originals funny to begin with? Did we just grow up? For some, honestly, yes. For me, I watched the first 2 movies pretty recently and still laughed my ass off for the most part Sure, not every joke stood the test of time but a damn good majority did.

In the end, I can’t recommend this movie at all. I remember thinking that Sinners was genuinely funnier than the parodies in this movie. Highly recommend watching the first few original Scary Movies but after Scary Movie 3 just stop. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Dying Light 2: Stay Human

Dying Light was a hell of an experience. It was like Far Cry meets 28 Weeks Later. Like many, I was pumped when the sequel crawled out of development hell only to fade into obscurity. Seriously, it’s one of those games I knew so many people waited for but no one really talked about. Is Dying Light 2 a missed masterpiece or better left forgotten?

We play as Aiden, a pilgrim on a quest in plague ravaged Villedor for his lost sister. Aiden, as well as hs sister and a bunch of other children were part of a cruel series of experiments at the hand of Waltz. Villedor holds the answers Aiden seeks, as well bloodthirsty bandits, peace keepers run amok, people trying to survive and of course hordes of zombies. If all this wasn’t enough, Aiden is changing…can he find his sister and a cure before joing the legion of the undead?

So I’m not going to mice words, Dying Light 2 isn’t a bad game. It’s fun in bursts and I appreciate some of what they were trying to do in terms of scope and feeling like you were in a wider cityscape. Unfortunately I gotta drop into the same category of meh games as Dark Souls 2 Scholars of the First Sin , Resident Evil 3 (2020) and Aliens: Fireteam Elite.

First, I tuned out of the story pretty quick. I never really got invested in the factions involved, the choices never packed a punch, and the missions felt pretty repetitive-especially the side missions. I felt like they took the wrong lessons from Fallout 4. Exploration can be fun but the enemies start to become a pain in the ass instead of scary or menacing. There is more than a fair amount of bullshit deaths, especially when it came to the game’s paraglider. Sometimes it would draw super fast, sometimes it would delay and I’d splat on the concrete. Gameplay overall is fine but there was small subtractions from the first I sorely missed- a mini map, being able to customize and repair my own weapons, easily accessible fast travel, and a faster, more fulfilling progression system. In this game, progression feels more like a slog and I never really felt like a badass as I did in the first. Safe zones are also now a chore.

While I have a lot of complaints and I genuinely believe its inferior to the first, it’s not a bad game. It ran fine, it looked really nice throughout, and the voice acting was solid. I had plenty of fun murdering zombies and bandits and using parkour…but it wasn’t much more than that. I never got the fear or intrigue of the first game. Its a ok game overall. Alright. Nothing too special. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Carrie 2026 trailer

Carrie is one my favorite King stories so I’m always cautious when a new adaptation comes out. I had mixed feelings on the Carrie 2026 teaser but ultimately I know it’s not for my generation. After seeing this, I like what I see of the modern aspects like social media and cyberbullying at play. My only major gripe is I don’t like the plot point that she was homeschooled til her last year of high school in this version. The history between Carrie and her peers, the long years of resentment and stewing rage I always felt was vital part of the story. I’m hoping this version finds a new way to circumvent that. In the end, I think it’ll be a solid adaptation. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Lee Cronin’s The Mummy

The Cannon’s are a happy family on a business trip in Egypt. Things go horribly wrong when their daughter Katie gets snatched out of their yard by a mysterious woman. For eight years, there’s no word, no updates. Katie is gone and the family moves on with their other daughter. Until miraculously Katie is found alive inside of a sealed sarcophagus. She’s virtually catatonic, malformed, malnourished and…ok, there’s no feasible way this kid is alive. But they take her home…

I’ll be honest, I’m having a hard time just getting through the recap of this damn movie. This isn’t The Mummy (2017) which wanted to to desperately wanted to be a MCU movie and kick off its own. Cronin instead wanted to make another Evil Dead movie; so much so I’ve seen this film included in way too many Evil Dead series countdowns. Katie is basically a Deadite. There’s a evil book that sounds awfully similar to the Necronomicon and she’s possessing people, there’s gross scenes of bodily harm and general possession movie tropes. I can’t say I was invested in any of the characters and for pretty good reason. The parents are pretty crappy. Not bad people, just dammit they are stupid from how Katie gets kidnapped to the level of ignorance on display when the full on horror movie shit starts kicking up. The kids are fine actors but I never found them scary. The effects are fine, mostly, but the gore is clearly trying to gross you out. I think the best way I can describe this movie in a nutshell is it’s trying to be modern Evil Dead without anything that makes Evil Dead special. Lastly, I’m going to say this movie is over 2 hours and it absolutely feels longer; Oppenheimer felt quicker by comparison.

In the end, watch the classic Mummy movies. Karloff, the Hammer movies with Christopher Lee, the classic 90’s Mummy movies with Brendan Fraser- you can’t got wrong. Friends don’t let friends watch Mummy 2026. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Harry Potter 2026 trailer 2

My feelings on the Potter series are pretty mixed overall. I’ve loved it, hated it, appreciated it, and now I’m just numb to it. Part of it was growing up during the height of Potter mania. Admittedly J.K Rowling has soured the overall experience of her work for me over the years.

When we got the first trailer for the reboot, I was very meh to it. Mostly I just felt like it was the same exact movie with different faces. Watching the second trailer, all that kept running through my head was “we have Harry Potter at home.” Hogwarts, the uniforms, the scenery looks strikingly similar to the original movies only without natural color grading (I seriously hate modern filmmaking’s hatred of natural lighting). I mean, it looks fine for what it is. If this was the first attempt at bringing the Wizarding World to screen, I’d honestly be fine with it. However, the others exist and were mostly bright, enjoyable and full of heart. I’ll give the new series a shot but I’m not getting my hopes up. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Maneater 2 announcement trailer

Maneater was a blast. Pure and simple. Fun, goofy, bloody, weirdly educational fun. Seeing confirmation we’re getting a sequel absolutely brought a smile to my face. I can’t wait to see what kind of bizarre mutations we’ll get and hopefully some new ways to devour our prey. I liked that there will be new predators as well to face off against. As you’d imagine, I’m really pumped to dive back in as a shark. May the gaming gods bring you glory.