Category: Uncategorized

Betty’s Revenge

So much has crossed into public domain in the few years. Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, Popeye the sailor…and Betty Boop. Yep, we got a Betty Boop horror movie on our hands. How? Why? Well, let’s find out (you might need a beer or hard drink of choice for this one.)

Three history majors have come to a mansion in the middle of nowhere for a project. The house was formerly a cabaret in the 1920’s called Dizzy Dishes that burned down under mysterious circumstances. Living in this house is a bizzarre young woman dressed in all black with a high pitched voice that rarely talks. This unnamed lady (though we damn well know who she is) is giving off some really menacing vibes. Trapped because of a storm, the three are left with this crazy lady in a giant house in the middle of nowhere. What could go wrong?

I shouldn’t need to state the obvious but Betty’s Revenge was not a good movie. But was it a fun bad movie? Honestly, no. The movie is barely 80 minutes and you can tell it’s stretching to hit that mark. The first victim takes about 4 minutes just to die, which was one of the only funny parts of the movie. The actress playing Betty (never referred to as Betty by name but damnit we know) tries unlike everyone else is flat month old soda. Their isn’t any outlandish death scenes and you really don’t see any of the killing but the laughable aftermath. The movie keeps showing clips of old Betty Boop cartoons but refuses to mention her by name. I was sorta confused what Betty actually was in this movie- ghost, some kind of immortal being, maybe a possessed victim. The movie never explains. It gives a vague but weirdly well written diary of a girl who sounds like a 20’s Joaquin Phoenix Joker in the making. In the end, I can’t recommend this movie, even with booze. There’s better slop than this. May th gaming gods bring you glory.

Moon Knight: The Midnight Mission

Marc Specter is a man of many faces trying to atone for many sins as a former CIA contractor and the Fist of Khonshu. The Midnight Mission was established by Mr. Knight as a refuge for the weak and downtrodden, no matter their past. However, no good deed goes unpunished as someone or something is trying to break the Moon Knight as he tries building his life up again. New and old friends and enemies arise but where is Marc Specter?

This is my first Moon Knight comic and damn it was a fun ride. I loved the dark, supernatural side of Marvel. Moon Knight is a fascinating character to read as well as his multiple, equally cool personalities. The artwork is badass, beautiful, and damn creepy at times. As someone dealing with my own mental health journey, it was cool seeing Mr. Knight attend therapy and deal with the stress of being honest and open, and trying to heal. The side characters were a interesting bunch, ending with the Zodiac reveal as the main bad guy. Hunter’s Moon was a awesome parallel to Knight as the second Fist of Khonshu. In the end, this is a damn good place to start reading Moon Knight and I can’t wait to read more. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Submariner: The Depths

I’ve always loved the sea and the legends surrounding it. That was partly why I feel in love with Aquaman after reading Aquaman: The Trench and that was my favorite aspect of The Fisherman by John Langan. Finding books dedicated to Namor are rough and getting my hands on this particular book wasn’t cheap but it was cool to finally get a full story of Marvel’s King of Atlantis.

Dr. Rupert Stein is a world renowned debunker of myths and legends tasked with a case sure to set him up for life: disproving Atlantis. He starts on expedition amongst the sea weary crew of the Plato to uncover what happened to a Captain named Marlowe who claims to have found the famed city but has disappeared. Tensions rise between Stein and his crew as reason and superstition clash as they warn him of the sea’s power and it’s vengeful protector, Namor. Strange things begin to happen miles under the sea and Stein is plagued by hallucinations of a figure lurking about them. Can the tales be true or are they victims to the darkness of the sea?

First, I got to give Milligan and Ribic credit for making a eerie, atmospheric kind of horror story. This is purely a slow, Lovecraftian, psychological, horror story; there’s no pretense of the greater Marvel universe or superheroes and I really liked that. I hate Stein as a character by design but he is a well done, egotistical, snobbish scholar who looks down on his crew; the ending hit me not because it’s end I wanted but how I think the story would’ve played out. I will say you will disappointed if you pick this book up looking for monsters, action, gore, or a super romp. Namor doesn’t speak in the story, presented as a otherworldly visage like a phantom or ghost. While I enjoyed it as a one and done standalone story, I really can’t recommend it like I would other Marvel Knights titles closer to Inhumans than Doctor Strange: The Flight of Bones. In the end, The Depths is a cool little horror story but definitely isn’t for everyone. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Something is killing the children (vol.1)

We all know monsters don’t exist, so tell that to James, the sole survivor of a sleepover gone violently wrong. Something viscously ripped his friends to pieces, leaving James as the town pariah. So many children have disappeared in Archer Bay with little evidence and no reason. A strange blond lady comes to town to help, knowing exactly what’s happening. Erica Slaughter is on the hunt for monsters and nothing will get in her way…

I’ve heard rave reviews for this comic over the past few years. I finally got to snag the first volume and I’m pretty happy I did. The premise is simple but effective. The writing is raw at points and never becomes goofy. Erica is a interesting character you want to know more about; I want to know what the hell is with the stuffed octopus she carries. The book leaves a lot of questions but is written so naturally, I breezed it through effortlessly. The artwork is gruesome and I love we never get a clear visual of the monster itself. I will say it may trigger some people because you do see some bloody stuff involving children, so if that triggers you, that’s basically way I wouldn’t recommend this comic. I’d say this was a damn good read I can’t wait to follow up on. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Dungeon Crawler Carl

The Apocalypse is here and it’s being televised. Carl just broke up with his girlfriend Beatrice while she was on vacation. Bummed, still babysitting her apartment and her fluffy show cat, Princess Donut, Carl is in a bad spot. When Donut attempts to runaway in the middle of the night, Carl runs into the night in just his jacket and boxers. All hell breaks loose. Millions dead instantly, leaving the baffled survivors with an announcement: they’re now contestants in a intergalactic game show. Thrown into the Dungeon, now dubbed Crawlers, the survivors most traverse hellscapses full of monsters, looting for gear, and facing bosses before the level collapses. 18 floors, each harder than the rest. And Carl’s only companion is Princess Donut…

The hype around this book was pretty nuts. Every author tuber I follow has this book somewhere on their bookshelves, I’ve seen it posted all over Instagram and Tiktok, and recently it was greenlit for a series on Peacock. I went inn totally blind, weary of literary Blockbusters. This is one of the rare times I think it was warranted.

Dungeon Crawler Carl is a really fun book with great characters, humor, heart, lore and some really cool action. As a gamer, I enjoyed the gaming tropes and found the setup really relatable. Carl and Doughout are great characters that play well off each other, though Doughnut does steal the show more than not. Matt Dinnaman’s writing is down to earth and easygoing, making for a smooth read. My only real complaint is I feel like the book doesn’t come to a real climax. It just ends. No main antagonist per say. There’s alot of threads to be followed up on and their are plenty more books so I’m not too mad. In the end, I loved this book and I highly recommend checking on it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Terrinoth: Heroes of Descent PlayStation 5 Review

Terrinoth: Heroes of Descent was sent my way by the fine folks over at New Tales, which I always appreciate. The game is the newest dungeon crawler on the console, and the first time console players get to explore the world of Terrinoth, from the Heroes of Terrinoth board game.

The full campaign plays out through 4 chapters, split into sections, each with its own theme. As you play, you will gather 8 players, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. They, of course, fall along the usual classes you would hope for, even if they aren’t named as such. For example, Aurta slings spells, Cedwin is an archer, and Kharaz will be smacking enemies with a shield bash and spitting fireballs like a dragon hybrid should.

It is hard to get into the story without spoiling things, but because it all ties in together as you go from place to place, suffice it to say it is very well put together. What starts as what should be a quick mission to get a stone back quickly leads to fighting things that shouldn’t even exist.

The real question with these games is always, how is the battle system, and lately also how does it compare to Baldur’s Gate 2. Honestly, if you are looking for your next 100+ hour experience exploring every nook and cranny of the world, rolling dice D&D style, this isn’t it. Each chapter plays out on a map, exploring and fighting battles, and in between, you can level up your characters, level abilities, switch them out, and buy and equip items.

Now, if you are looking for something to play for about 30-40 hours, where each mission is broken down into about an hour to an hour and a half, with a similar but easier to play ( but not easier to win) battle system, this is the game you are looking for. This is not, nor is it meant to be, the next Baldur’s Gate, but it is an amazing alternative that I think many will prefer. It is a 9/10 title that is worth picking up. My only real issue is the multiplayer; without friends to play with, I couldn’t find anyone to play with. With that in mind, best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Tomb Raider (2013)

Remember that time when everyone ran out of ideas in the late 00s, mid 010’s and we kept getting gritty remakes no one asked for? Torsten remembers. The Tomb Raider reboot found it’s way into my staggering backlog as did its sequels and I haven’t played them mainly because I assumed they would be Uncharted knockoffs- but edgy! Was I wrong?

Young archaeologist Lara Croft is part of an expedition to a island in search for relics about an ancient sun princess. A freak storm destroys her her ship, leaving her and her crewmates stranded on a island full of militarized zealots aiming to resurrect the princess. Can Lara overcome the odds, save her friends and escape?

Ok, let me be frank, I wasn’t invested in the characters or plot worth a damn. The game wanted me to take it seriously but I couldn’t. Mostly because of the gratuitous, over the top action scenes that made me wonder if this rendition of Lara Croft was a Kryptonian or was a X mutant the whole time. On top of that, some of Lara’s facial expressions during the few scenes that are supposed to be heavy or intense are unintentionally funny as hell. The characters are ok, nothing special, though Mathias, the main antagonist is a cookie cutter villain. I wasn’t expecting an unforgettable villain like Dutch from Red Dead Redemption 2 or Vas from Far Cry 3 but I wanted something more than his generic ass.

Speaking of Far Cry, the game feels like Far Cry, Uncharted, and a lil bit of The Last of Us gameplay went into a blender with a Michael Bay movie. The game is fun. Combat is smooth but simple. Platforming is pretty well done except some of the set pieces caused a few bullshit deaths. The survival instincts holds your hand bigtime when it comes to combat, puzzles, item finding, and platforming. Its a nice palette cleanser after weeks playing SystemShock. My biggest grievance with the gameplay is this game feels like a time capsule of every PS3 era gaming trope I can think of: QTEs galore, forced multiplayer, COD health regeneration, gritty paintjob on a existing IP, voice and motion controls no one asked for, blood splatter all over the screen after each stealth kill, and hunting akin to Assassin’s Creed 3 without purpose.

In the end, the Tomb Raider reboot is a fun product of its time. It’s not great but a fun, disposable playthrough worth checking out if you find it on sale. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

System Shock (2023)

We begin our story as a hacker getting busted by the Trioptimum Corporation after failing to steal tech. Edward Diego, the man in charge, offers us a deal: face the wraith of the company or do disable the safety protocols on Shodan, the AI for Citadel Station. After disabling the AI, we find ourselves on Citadel. Shodan has gone insane. Most of the crew is slaughtered, many reconfigured into cybernetic monstrosities, the machines have gone rogue, and genetic experiments are running amok. Can you escape the wrathful clutches of a wannabe god?

The original System Shock is a pioneer of immersive sims, heavily inspiring games like Bioshock and Prey. I was thrilled when the remake dropped, having never been able to experience the original.

First, Shodan is easily my favorite part of the game. Terry Brosius is absolutely iconic with her cold, hateful delivery. Shodan has become one of my all time favorite game villains. She is a all encompassing presence on Citadel with multiple Doomsday schemes to eradicate humanity. The game is a lot more eerie and unsettling than I thought it’d be, even more so having Shodan’s face following you, and her cameras eyeing your every step. The enemies themselves are haunting. I love he game’s overall cyberpunk sci-fi horror aesthetic.

Gameplay is very old school in some of the best and worst ways. This game does not hold your hand. You had better pay attention, take some notes, and be ready to dig through every nook and cranny for audio logs and data sticks for what the hell to do and where to go. Like the horror games of old, there’s a hell of a lot of back tracking but I found it fun. The environment tells a story and every floor I found either something fascinating or terrifying. Most of the combat is FPS which is solid, even awesome at times. It was pretty awesome beheading Temu Borg with a laser sword or setting mutants on fire with dragon breath shotgun rounds. There are plenty of puzzles and the cyberspace segments which give me a retro Star Fox meets 80’s space shooter vibe.

While there’s so much of this game I love, I’d be lying if I said this game didn’t piss me off at times. Their were times the game’s objectives are too abstract and for the second half I had to lean real heavy on Youtube to finish the game. Much like Dark Souls dying has big consequences. Autosave is unpredictable and more than I want to admit, it made my life way harder so save often. I also love the game’s retro approach but dammit a few small quality of life improvements would’ve done wonders like having your total ammo on your HUD, not just what’s in the clip. Automatically reloading would be nice too. Like every game, there are pain in the ass part, System Shock’s are FromSoft levels of brutal. I played the game on all the easiest difficulties possible and still took me 36 hours because of the back tracking and difficulty spikes. It wasn’t always fun but it was fulfilling much like my time with Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice.

In the end, I loved the System Shock remake and I’m willing to say it’s up their with Resident Evil 2 (2019) and Dead Space (2023) as far as horror game remakes go. It’s absolutely not a game for everyone, its hard as hell but well worth a play. May the gaming gods bring you glory, insect.

Hellraiser: Revival release date trailer

Holy hell the horror nerd in me is freaking out. I love Clive Barker’s work. I’ve read the The Hellbound Heart at least a dozen times. Hellraiser is one of my favorite horror movies, and even Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. I’m hyped Doug Bradley is voicing Pinhead. The visuals are gritty, gory, and kinky as they ought to be. This might be the first game n a long while I buy day one. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alien: Isolation 2 trailer

Hallelujah! Alien: Isolation was my nightmares come true in the best ways. I heard whispers of a sequel but I didn’t believe it until we got the full reveal. We’re stuck on a dark, dreary planet being hunted by the Alien. So far I enjoy what I see. We don’t get much information, which I’m glad for. I’m absolutely going to follow Isolation 2. May the gaming gods bring you glory.