The Chronicles Of Quiver Dick

So I follow a guy on Twitter named CrankageGames that makes some games and post some funny stuff. So I figured he is a good guy and I would buy one to check out and this name caught my attention. The Chronicles Of Quiver Dick so, I headed over to Steam and picked it up.

A few things people should know going in, the game is relatively short. Considering the game cost $2.99 if you were expecting a 30-hour adventure you had expectations that were far too high. Another thing is the game is made with RPG Maker, MV if I am correct. I use the program myself but to nowhere near as much skill. That is the main point here, RPG Maker games get a bad rep for being horrible games which is kind of fair, for every good one out there, there are some that seem like broken cash grabs. This is not the case here. Much of the assets used and music used are not stock RPG maker. The characters are crafted not lazily thrown together.

All of that means nothing if the story isn’t well written or good. Well assuming you don’t mind dick jokes and profanity, you are in for a good time. The story is a parody of How I Met Your Mother, but Old man Dick and Young man Dick will spend plenty of time talking to each other, in fact, their banter may be the best part of the game. I won’t go into any more detail because I don’t want to spoil the story or best parts but about 10 minutes into the game I had decided it was already worth the 3 bucks I spent on it.

The combat is also nice. Simple turn-based battles. There are no random encounters to try to pump up the amount of time you are playing, simply characters you fight at specific spots most of which are challenging but fair. Even here tho there is plenty of humor to be found.

At the end of the day this game is entertaining and funny, from start to finish the key goal was obviously to make the player laugh, and it succeeds nicely with plenty of pop culture reference and even some of the Patreon members seem to have gotten a shout out in game. This one should not be missed, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.


Breach (Pc)

After playing a bit of the Alpha over the weekend that @Playbreach told me about over on Twitter I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. To be up front, we all know I am not big on these types of games. You can find out all sorts of things on their website here. The game starts out with a pretty simple tutorial and character creator. The controls are the standard, mouse to look around and WSAD to move. It functions like you would expect, tho admittedly there was some lag which I believe was caused by my laptop not quite being up to snuff.

The video shows pretty well what it is. Honestly, after playing it, I enjoy it pretty well. Admittedly the character choices and their abilities aren’t anything you haven’t seen before. Breach in no way reinvents the wheel, but it doesn’t need to. It is fun, and each level gives you something to do and new enjoyment to find, and that is all you need. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Start Of Distant Worlds Two

Sunday started the Distant Worlds 2 adventure, as I have mentioned before. It started with a few of us just chatting, giving some last minute advice and a sort of ceremonial first jump. The picture of the menu is that jump, HR 5413. Everyone in the squadron I am in made is safe and sound, and amazingly the US servers didn’t crash.

The first leg of the trip saw me travel to a place called Shapley 1.

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The trip was quite simple and uneventful, a bunch of us met up and chatted. They gave warning of a place called “The View” and everyone said the same thing, it is a beautiful stunning site, but dangerous to partake in. I have a few pictures before I share the story of The View, which is stop number 2 of the trip.

The view from there was great, beautiful blue neutron star and all. The journey there is also quite easy to make as well. The landing? The landing is made on  3.3g gravity world, where the smallest mistake will greatly damage your ship. I was not expecting the difficulty, in fact, the landing I made on a normal world would be fine but here, it was suicide. I came in at far too deep of an angle and there was no way to recover and I slammed my ship into the ground instantly draining my shields and severely damaging my hull. I took a few pictures, but didn’t trust myself in the SRV for long.

I found the nearest space station, a massive trip that I desperately needed to make. It meant nothing, however. The damage was so severe my ship, MorningStar (pic below) could not make it off-world and my thrusters died before escaping the gravitational pull and my ship was ripped back down to the planet.

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Having to start all over again from Pallaeni wasn’t a massive deal, more annoying. I quickly made up for lost time and made it to the 3rd checkpoint, Cycladia.

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Cycladia is known for being much like Earth with some ring around it. I didn’t hang out here long as I continue for Labirinto. WIsh me luck, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

How A Glitch Filled Game Is Still Fun For Me

Lately, I have been playing a lot of Conan Exiles (PS4) with my friends, and I mentioned in my review but the more I play the more I have to acknowledge this may be the most glitch-filled game I have played in years. I am talking falling through the map, enemies appearing and disappearing textures changing colors and popping up where they should and shouldn’t be.  Most of the items for crafting randomly don’t work for a bit and placing stuff is odd since many times you will just leave the menu and kick or punch instead.

Yet, I am oddly having a ton of fun. The fact that I can change so much to make me have the experience I want. Want tougher enemies? Can do. Want to spawn in some weapons or materials? Done deal. I can tame just about any creature in the game as a pet. You can build extravagant buildings or little huts.  Just have a blast with your friends.

Yet, the game is essentially broken. I have no clue how the game has been out this long without some serious fixes being implemented yet it has multiple DLC options to buy. It is one of the most fun yet worst survival games I have ever played, and yet I recommend people pick it up on sale. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Resident Evil 2 Demo

30 minutes isn’t a ton of time to play a demo, but it is more than enough to get a feel for what this game will be. What it will be is a Resident Evil game. Having played the Dreamcast version of the game and not this demo I can honestly say I am looking forward to it. From the who the hell thought of these puzzles to the for the love of god where the hell did all my ammo go, the game is classic Resident Evil. At least the first 30 minutes are. I found the get to a door in the entry was all the way up on the upper floor for example.

Graphically the game looks amazing, the pictures in this I snapped in the game on my PS4 pro.

All in all the demo is pretty solid, tho, while I understand the limiting the demo time as opposed to a checkpoint, was rather annoying. It would have been nice to have been able to take my time and just look around. Regardless, go have fun with it and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bungie And Activision Split

By now everyone knows Bungie and Activision have split. Porygon has a pretty good article on it of course. The really surprising thing in all this for me tho is that people are actually surprised. Kotaku reported years about numerous problems with things going on around Destiny and even much more recently Activision has been disappointed with Destiny 2 sales.

The bright side of all this, at least for Bungie, is Bungie will be keeping Destiny and the rights to it. I honestly do not have much to say on the subject, so best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Conan Exiles (PS4)

I picked up Conan Exiles for the low price of my friend wanted someone to play with and bought it for me, so this entire venture was no risk for me. This is good because honestly, this game is the quintessential example of mixed feelings. This will become clear on why soon enough, so I will do something I rarely do. I will break this down very strictly into things I like and things I don’t.

To start, the things I like. The map is an impressive size and is full of things to do. You can explore, kill monsters and animals, mine various resources and build massive buildings or small little huts. The weapon selection is impressive as well, swords, axes, spears, throwing axes and daggers. Probably more I just forgot to mention. You have all kinds of armors and shields to go along with them, and they have various looks and styles.

You also get to choose your own religion to follow, each god with their own preferred method of worship, even a cannibal. One also does nothing for you really, simply doesn’t much care about any of you. Graphically the game is nice as well. Another great thing is that you can adjust almost any option, from experience gained to how much materials you will get from mining. And none of it messes with trophies.

Now for what I don’t like. Also, the things I don’t like, I REALLY do not like. For starters, the glitches are numerous. There is such an insane amount of lag during online multiplayer with friends. To the point, it was almost unplayable at times. I have been attacked by invisible creatures that would later show up, had entire fights with creatures I could not damage that would suddenly drop dead. Mining rocks and ores that simply wouldn’t do anything and I would need to move along only to return to the same spot 10 seconds later and be just fine.

The crafting menu is also a mess, finding anything is a pain, selecting feats is annoying and many times won’t even register until you back out and reenter the menus. Also, many times when killing things and trying to harvest them it simply didn’t work, at all.

All in all the game is one of the best survival games on PS4, but I imagine it is lacking quite a bit of content on PC. The game is also rather buggy and certainly not worth the full price tag. However, if you can pick it up for around $25, its worth the buy. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.