Handsome A Netflix Mystery Movie (2017)

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Handsome, a Netflix Mystery Movie is just what the name implies,a mystery movie on Netflix. Detective Handsome ( yes that is his name) is about to retire, and he has new neighbors. After dropping off some cookies and meeting the baby sitter, the next day he gets a call for a murder. Sadly the victim happens to be the before mentioned babysitter.

The movie does a solid job at pushing the mystery aspect of the movie with little clues here and there throughout the entire thing, and at no part did I feel like the movie was off track.¬† That being said for a guy like me that isn’t into mysteries it managed to keep my interest well enough. The comedy aspect was pretty nice as well, it had its fair share of humorous moments but nothing to write home about.

The movie isn’t great, and it absolutely isn’t for everyone. I wouldn’t recommend it to a guy like me for example that mostly watches horror movies or comedies, but fans of police shows will probably enjoy it more. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Emoji Movie (2017)

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So the other day I am sitting at home the other day and @torstenvblog shoots me a message and says “Hey the worst movie of 2017 hit Netflix you want to cover it or should I?” So I asked him which one he meant and he replies “Emoji movie” The problem is this was about 3 hours after I had already watched the movie. He also seemed very upset when I said I didn’t think the movie was as bad as people said. In his words, “I wanted a real fucking dumpster fire” anyway on to the review.

This movie got OBLITERATED in many reviews. A lot of people hated this movie, hell you can look up many reviews and read them. But if you go to Rotten Tomatoes or even metacritc you can see an underlining thread to many many MANY of the reviews. A lot of the reviews seem to be quite pissed off that this is a movie made to be watched by a child with its parent. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying the movie is great or even perfect or even great.

The story is about a meh emoji that lives inside of a smart phone that has many emotions and because of this the original emoji, smiley, decides to have the anti virus erase it to save them all from being deleted when Alex factory resets his phone. Gene, the meh emji then goes on a trip to get into the cloud so he can be hacked to get rid of his other emotions. The story is just a kind of cute story about being true to yourself and simply being who you are.

As I said the movie and story aren’t perfect, in fact most adults will in fact hate the movie. However it actually isn’t badly done, it is just meant for kids. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Extract (2009)

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Extract is a rather odd movie. First it takes place mostly in a factory dedicated to making extract flavoring. Not exactly your usual movie setting. Joel our main character is trying to sell his business, but a freak accident is about to make that damn near impossible. By freak accident I mean extract gets spilled, a forklift spills stuff thigns get knocked off an oxygen tank gets shot like a torpedo and a guys balls get blown off. Yes as in his testicles.

Enter Mila Kunis, a less than moral money hungry woman trying to get a piece of the pie in this lawsuit. The movie has a few funny moments and the story is interesting enough, but to be honest I normally expect more from this cast. The movie isn’t bad but there are better movies out there. By all means check it out, but don’t expect a 5 star event. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Little Witch Academia:Enchanted Parade (2015)

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Now I am not a fan of Little Witch Academia, in fact until I saw this I had never even seen it. This just happened to catch my eye and I figured I would kill an hour watching it. It was actually pretty funny because the English subtitles did not at all match the words they were using, it kind of reminded me of the old Godzilla movies where people would stop talking but their lips would keep moving.

The story itself is a rather cute story about these magic students having to manage the annual witch parade. Clearly this show is meant for kids and teens, but its cute and fun and despite the childish nature of the show I had a lot of fun watching it. The local kids disliking magic and preferring their technology was also a nice touch of social commentary. It is definitely a series worth checking out for anime fans, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Slither 2nd opinion (2006)

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Oh slither, Torsten showed me this movie a long time ago with the claim of ” hey you will love this horror movie.” In his defense he was right, it quickly became one of our favorite movies. The story is pretty basic stuff, alien life form shows up, takes control of people, people die. You all know the drill. Its how it is done that makes the movie great. The movie knows what it is, I wouldn’t say it is self aware, for example you won’t see any breaking the 4th wall moments. But it is aware it isn’t a AAA blockbuster and it does not try to be.

My favorite example of this would be early in the movie the first guy infected has what appears to be a rash and uses the excuse of poison ivy. Much later in the movie two twin girls actually say in unison “we’re itchy” in a subtle but nice reference once you start to find the life form has a sort of connected hive mentality. @torstenvblog and I actually have a small other reason for doing this movie today, the greatest love song of all time. Enjoy it below, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Ritual (2018)

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The Ritual is a very odd movie. I don’t mean that as a bad thing. The movie starts out with a group of friends in Europe planning a guys weekend. Arguing about hiking and drinking and where to do it. But its time to go to the shop and buy some booze. They sadly pick the wrong store and some drug addicts packing a machete decide to rob the place. One friend is unseen and stays hidden, while the other gets brutally murdered trying to defend his wedding ring.

Later on they decide to honor their friend by going hiking, having a couple drinks and just remembering their friend in the way he would have liked. Its a nice thought, one that he actually would have loved. This is where the movie takes its odd turn, first they don’t hike anywhere near as far as they thought. Turns out they can still see the cabin they left from in fact. No big deal tho, in the morning they will head back. Or it would be if somehow they didn’t get lost.

This is where things get weird. while lost they find a dead body nailed to a tree, and yes this becomes important later. After traveling all day a storm hits and they find a cabin, a cabin they didn’t see earlier. There is some weird stuff in this cabin they spend the night in. As you can imagine it isn’t long before people in the group start dying and the last two end up in a village that worships an ancient god that kind of looks like a massive skeleton deer with hands near its mouth. The movie is interesting and while not great is a fun watch and I would suggest checking it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Resident (2012)

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Being a guy I probably miss how scary this movie truly is, but it is creepy as hell none the less. Imagine moving into a new house and meeting a new landlord, nice guy by the way. Doing a lot of nice work. When suddenly weird things start happening. You start sleeping through alarms for example and you just have this eerie feeling of being watched constantly and just a general bad time. That is what this movie is about.

The movie isn’t great, its average at best and at times is very convoluted but the concept is good. Hillary Swank and Negan, I mean¬†Jeffrey Dean Morgan, play their parts well but there is only so much you can do with what they were given. Still the movie is worth giving a watch if you have the time, but be aware the movie has some very trigger inducing moments that sensitive people may not want to see. They certainly do not shy away from the subject matter which honestly I do appreciate. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.