Black Christmas (2019 Review)

I don’t often do this, but lately, I was hanging out with @torstenvblog watching movies and we decided to check out Black Christmas. It is a Blumhouse movie ( I know first red flag) by Sophia Takal. Sophia has made other movies like Always Shine and V/H/S, movies I’ve heard are solid and respectable movies on their in their own right. Based on this movie, however, I have no intention of ever fucking watching them.

Yes, I am about to trash this movie from here on after I say this. The actors did everything they could to save what was basically a dumpster fire that had no real chance of ever being good. The movie starts with poor Linsday leaving the library and being followed by some guy on his cell phone made out to be a total creep that magically has her phone number. It is a horror movie I get it. Get used to this though. If you see a guy in this movie, he is an evil rapist. This isn’t a joke. On some level, he is the bad guy unless he is an extra in the background. Lindy girl is now dead when the real killer turns her into a snow angel.

Get used to this too, every woman in this movie is basically a total moron except the main character. Nobody is going to believe her to listen to her about almost anything.

This is basically the last we will discuss on Linsday. This isn’t my choice, go talk to Sophia about that shit, she wrote and directed this. They will mention her towards the end but basically, everyone is happy to accept that she called her friends right before being murdered, never made it home to her family and nobody was found. She is just gone. This happens more than once.

The movie is full of weird plot holes like this, but they are not even the worst part. Every guy in the movie is made out to be a rapist (one actually is and his death is the most satisfying part of the movie) and every girl (I say this to point out when called girls one always shouts out woman) is a huge stereotype. For example, the “SUPER woke” black woman running around having statues torn down of white slave owner racist and trying to get the teacher fired for teaching English literature but not having enough women or people of color on the class syllabus. That is however basically all she does, besides badger the chick that got raped that it’s been like two years and she needs to rebuild herself already.

The ending is even more insulting because it turns out the killings were all a cult. Basically a cult of “alpha” men controlled by a statue that brings out the real tendency of men. A weak and submissive woman that knows her place would steal items so these men would know which women were causing problems and kill them. And even the two men in the movie decent guys suddenly became violent abusers that attacked women as inferior.

This movie insulted basically all of humankind, and the worst part is the movie SHOULD have been really good. The pieces were there, the concept of a cult that can make horrible men become their true selves was good, and that it could be used to help control already weak-willed women to help scum like that could have been great. Instead, we ended up with a movie that damn near offended me, and I don’t think I’ve ever been offended by anything in my life. Not only was this movie not good, but it also shouldn’t be watched by anyone with class or taste. Best wishes and may the gaming gods have mercy on our souls.

Outlast

Outlast - Wikipedia

Where do I begin with Outlast? Miles Upshur, an investigative reporter gets a anonymous tip to look into the Mount Massive Asylum where things have gone horrifically wrong; Miles finds himself trapped alone with the violent, deformed inmates running amok, terrified of a mystical entity called the “Wallrider”.

So Outlast is a horror gaming classic, highly rated with the likes of Resident Evil, Silent Hill, FNAF, and Alien: Isolation . To it’s credit, the dev team did a damn good job establishing a disturbing, memorable atmosphere. The music and sound is really good and I appreciate the attention to detail with the freaky dialogue. While I think Chris Walker is a decent antagonist, I actually liked Richard Traeger a more interesting foe. So while I have a few positives, what I hated about this game I absolutely couldn’t stand. I hate the fact its 100% a running simulator. The fact Miles brought no kind of self defense item with him at all- knowing damn well he’s going to a dangerous environment- makes me question his intelligence; why doesn’t Miles at least try to fight back? This game is full of infuriating bullshit deaths, though not as bad as Outlast 2 in that regard. This game really started pissing me off when you are outside the asylum being hunted by Walker and I lost my shit a few times. The graphics are meh and if you are immune to jump scares, a lot of the fear factor is wasted if you are. Honestly, Outlast would be a pretty good horror movie, but as a game, I didn’t really like it. In the end, it’s a admirable game in a few ways but there are better stealth horror games out there. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Batman: Hush (animated)

Amazon.com: Batman: Hush [DVD] [2019] : Movies & TV

Batman’s foes are some of the most legendary of all time: Joker, Bane, Scarecrow, Riddler, and Mr. Freeze to name a few. Bruce has been the Bat for a while but despite Alfred, Gordon, and his sidekicks, it’s a lonely life. He finds himself falling for Selina Kyle, allegedly reformed Catwoman, and well as vowing to reconnect with his childhood friend and now famous surgeon Thomas Elliot. But things are escalating in Gotham as Batman is lead through a gauntlet of villains interwoven in a unknown plan by a mysterious, bandaged figure named Hush, determined to bring a end to the Dark Knight once and for all.

So I have to this classic was handled really damn well, just about perfect but for a raging flaw. The voice acting is really good and the animation is great. The story features a lot of friends and foes, including a pretty badass fight against a possessed Superman. I love the relationship between Batman and Catwoman and I like the friction Nightwing and Batgirl have towards her; Catwoman’s story arc is one of my favorite parts of the movie. So the flaw I mentioned, what kills the story dead? The twist on Hush’s identity. The book had a great twist, revealing Hush’s identity which screws with Batman on a mental level, which is what I really enjoy about Hush as a villain- he attacks on a intellectual and mental level rather than brute force. The twist is the movie sucks and hurts the value of the story overall. In the end, its a damn good watch but definitely read the book. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hereditary

Hereditary (2018) - IMDb

Let’s talk hype for a second shall we? In 2018, my friends in the horror community hyped the hell out of this movie. I was really stunned when my Lil sis and her husband told me they thought it was stupid and waste of time. I was even more curious what I would get, especially not just any trailers but just a few vague reviews. So what did I find?

Annie is a artist from a troubled family background of mental illness; when her mother passes away, Annie is at odds. Sad but almost relieved, determined to be a better mom to her two kids and wife to her stressed out husband. When one of her children dies in a accident, Annie begins to break and the family starts to suffer as Annie desperately clings to hope her child isn’t gone. But at point does hope become madness and how long before history repeats itself?

So I’m going to say this now, if you are sensitive to things involving mental illness or heavy family drama, don’t watch this. This movie is an uncomfortable look at some pretty real stuff and in that aspect it’s pretty damn terrifying and well executed. Toni Colette steals the show as Annie. The movie is also a really slow burn and admittedly how ambiguous it is at times made me laugh my ass off at times where I shouldn’t have. The movie on a whole does keep you on your toes and by the end, I wasn’t sure what the hell I watched. Overall, I really liked it but I completely understand why anyone wouldn’t and I can even see why it would trigger people. In the end, if you want a great dark drama/ psychological thriller, I’d highly recommend it but it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Stranger Things, season 4 trailer

I’ve never been one for the Stranger Things craze, but this season looks alright from the trailer. A group of kids and a haunted house- what’s more American horror than that? The atmosphere looks nice and I know a lot of people that have been waiting for this, so I hope its worth the wait. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Last Night in Soho trailer 2

I love Anya Taylor Joy, and this looks like a fun horror thriller. I really like the vintage style with a Argento twist. While I’m not really familiar with Edgar Wright’s work, I always wanted to check it out for myself. I’m hoping this will be a cool film to start out with. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Matrix Resurrections trailer 1

I feel weird about this one. I really liked the first Matrix but let’s face it, the sequels honestly blew. I like the direction this appears to be going in but I’m weary at the same time. I felt more of a soft spot during the trailer than I thought I would. This December I guess we’ll return to the Matrix once again. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic remake reveal trailer

One of my biggest regrets is never have gotten the chance to play the first game, which many still say is their favorite. I can’t wait to experience it for myself and see what the hype was for. May the gaming gods bring you glory.