The Ultimate Horror Villain?!

horror villains

I have to say this post goes out with a heavy heart from Savior and I. April, 4th, 2020 my father, Duke, passed away. The man was a legend, hilarious, smart, and loved action, superheroes, horror and passed this love to me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful so this post goes out to him…

A lot of the time me and my dad spent together was watching movies and movies and either riffing them a new asshole or losing ourselves the worlds before us. So you see the title of the post and wonder who I’m naming the ultimate horror villain? Is it Michael Myers, the masked Shape of Haddonfield, that stalks the streets on Halloween. Is it the Alien, the perfect orgasm that exists and is biologically designed to be a heartless killing machine? Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Freddy Kruger, Dracula, Candyman, the Cenobites, Jaws? While I admit the topic is subjective and everyone is free to there own opinions, Duke and I had a peculiar candidate in mind years and years ago. A killer so diabolical, not only were they never apprehended but is seen as a positive force in there killing field. That is the most frightening thing of all, there is no fear of them, only admiration and recognition that disguise the wells of blood they spilled across the US. So who is this mastermind, you ask? Jigsaw? No. Hannibal Lector? Nope. The answer (drum roll please)….is…

murder-she-wrote

Jessica-motherfucking-Fletcher. Yes, the main “protagonist” of the hit show Murder She Wrote. For those unfamiliar, Murder She Wrote is about Jessica (J.B.) Fletcher who’s a widow, mystery writer, and sleuth in her cozy town of Cabot Cove. She’s a hometown hero, but I believe different. Why do people die wherever she goes? There is always a murder afoot and of course the police sheriff and town coroner need her aid to solve the deaths, despite both of them being close friends of the charming, sweet Ms. Fletcher. I’m saying it’s really suspicious the amount of deaths that have accrued in Cabot Cove, certainly wouldn’t the town be vacant after 12 seasons of Jessica’s bloodthirsty rampaging. Don’t let the cheery opening music and charmingly disarming performance by Angela Landsbury as Jessica Fletcher fool you, Murder She Wrote is a brilliant work of horror that gave us one of not only horror’s greatest villains, but fiction’s as well. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Spongebob Squarepants movie

spongebob movie Are ya ready kids?

Ok, I won’t burst into song. Many are likely wondering, ‘Torsten, why are you talking Spongebob after a string of violent comics and video games’? Well, the answer is simple dear reader: I’M A GOOFY GOOBER!

Spongebob Squarepants is just a happy go lucky fry cook down under the sea in the underwater town of Bikini Bottom.he loves his job at the Krusty Krab, loves his friends, and loves jelly fishing. The Krusty Krab is about to open a second restaurant, spelling certain doom for Plankton and the Chum Bucket; after hundreds of failed ploys to take down Mr Crabs and the Krusty Crew, he has finally  come up with the perfect diabolical plan. He swipes King Neptune’s crown which hides his baldness, and Neptune freezes Crabs out of anger. It’s up to Spongebob and his best friend Patrick to find the crown and bring order to Bikini Bottom before Plankton takes hold…

Kids movie or not, I laughed my ass off with this movie. I always had a soft spot in my heart for the lovable yellow bastard. If you love the show, the movie won’t disappoint. I love how batshit the movie gets like Spongebob getting wasted on ice cream or him and Patrick riding on top of the Hoff’s ass; it’s easy for adults with a WTF sense of humor to enjoy but its still a clean movie for the kids. It’s a colorful movie and a pretty good soundtrack including a badass Twisted Sister cover at the end. In the end, this is one of those rare times a movie can be enjoyed by young and old and its worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you Krabby  Patties.

My Issue With Peppa Pig

Let me start by saying this, I have no true issue with the children’s tv show Peppa Pig. All 3 of my kids watched it, they enjoyed it, and outside of randomly throwing out an English accent nothing bad happened. I am by no means trying to persuade anyone to go home and toss out their kid’s DVD’s or not let their kids watch the show. What you let the kids watch is all on you, you know them better than me obviously.

I have heard a few complaints and let me start by saying, they are basically bullshit. For example, Peppa Pig herself is a bad influence and bad for kids. Most of us grew up watching the muppets. Here is a video of Miss Piggy slapping around multiple people including her boyfriend Kermit.

So let’s not pretend kids shows are somehow suddenly insane shows we compared to what we watched. Thanks to my kids I have seen pretty much every episode of this show,I haven’t seen Peppa smack anyone like Piggy yet.

Now I have also heard the argument that there are no consequences for their bad behavior. Here is another example of why this is an idiotic argument.

There you go, 17 videos of Daffy getting blasted in the face with a shotgun, no harm no foul. Just puts his beak back. and who can forget Bugs getting arrested for murder when he shot a guy in the crowd.

Wait, that didn’t happen to bugs or the dude in the Pink Panther. Cartoons rarely have consequences for things so to use that as an excuse here is horrible.

No, for me the real reason to be upset here, is the treatment of Papa Pig. This poor bastard is treated like dirt, but he works hard with cement. I don’t know what he does besides plan stuff but still. They constantly call him fat, like somehow the other pigs are skinny I guess. Worse, they give away his favorite chair to a charity trying to repair the perpetually broken school roof without telling him. Peppa convinces them its an antique and the poor bastard buys it thinking it matches the chair he has at home not knowing it was the same chair.

Speaking of the school roof, Peppa volunteers her mother to parachute out of a plane to help fix the room that once again broken. Pappa Pig being the loving husband he is, goes in the plane with her and gets DUMPED OUT OF THE PLANE without a chute. Momma big makes a desperate leap out to save him and after catches him, drops him at the last second through the new school of which now requires him to make a second jump to fix the roof.

The show is full of examples were Papa Pig is treated like garbage and insulted by his family and even tortured in one when they pick his car up with a helicopter and flip his car all around with him inside of it instead of just moving him to safety and being done with it.

One final issue with the show, why did they take the kids to prison for a field trip? Now they called it a zoo, but come on guys. They are ALL animals, and they make it a point to say all the dangerous animals are in cages. The teacher freaks when she sees a lion outside of the cage until she finds out he works there and isn’t supposed to be in a cage at all. Then they go look at all kinds of animals in cages. That kinda sounds like Peppa Pig and her friends were taken to some sort of scares straight program.

All that being said, my daughter loves it and the show doesn’t annoy me like many others and when you view it through the eyes of an adult, its good for a laugh. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Snowpiercer (Series)

Snowpiercer was always a movie up there on my infinite bucket-list but admittedly I was surprised when I saw the movie is getting a series spin off. While I don’t know much about the general plot, I don’t see anything wrong with the show. It looks fine but I’d rather see the movie first. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

American Horror Story: 1984

ahs 9

Ah the 80’s, a time of hair, blow, and slasher movies. Brooke and her new friends are off to be camp counselors at Camp Redwood, which is reopening from a tragic massacre years before. Legend has it, a maintenance man called Mr Jingles snapped and brutally murdered the campers and counselors, stealing there ears as his trophies. Margret Booth, the sole survivor of Camp Redwood’s previous massacre, pledges to open the camp and launch a new legacy based off of her tragedy; Brooke is no stranger to tragedies. But secrets emerge as Mr Jingles returns and there lives won’t ever be the same.

American Horror Story: Apocalypse was a low point for most of us but I’m happy to say 1984 was pretty awesome. I love the cheese of a 80’s sitcom mixed with the exploitation of classic Friday the 13th . I like the twists and turns the series takes. The acting is really good and everyone seems to be having fun with this season. Like many of the seasons, there is a lag in pacing between the overall second and third act and while normally I’d be pissed how this is the shortest season yet with only 9 episodes, it doesn’t overstay it’s welcome. Honestly, with the host of great music and cheese it might be the most fun AHS yet. In the end, it’s a simple story but really fun season I’d definitely recommend checking out.

 

American Horror Story: Apocalypse

ahs 8

We have a penchant for dark humor here at Saviorgaming and while being cooped up at home during the Corona Pandemic, I figured it’s as good as time as any to catch up on my American Horror Story, and of course I left off on Apocalypse, the 8th season. While the show has been pretty divisive over the years, pretty much everyone I talked to hates this season; how can a horror show botch the end of days?

The day has come and the world has ended in nuclear hellfire as many have predicted. A secret collective of the world’s wealth, brains, and most influential known as the Cooperative have gathered people deemed genetically suitable of repopulating the world at a series of outposts. Outpost 3 is strict and divided between the elite and the workers. A emissary of the Cooperative arrives through the wastes to evaluate the outpost for a sure chance at life; this emissary, Michael Langdon, is not what he appears to be. When the familiar witches of American Horror Story: Coven arrive, we learn the nature of Michael as the Antichrist, but can these powerful ladies stop the devil?

Well, first and foremost I’m going to answer the question I left off with: yes, I would say Apocalypse is the worst AHS. What kills this season is mostly the narrative and how it’s structured. Acting as the Glass of the series, it’s a follow up and sequel season to both Coven and the original American Horror Story that is messily put together for the most part; most of the season is one long backtrack while the opening episodes feel like a edgy YA dystopian knockoff. The show gets better as it goes but it does feel too little, too late by the end. Another thing I have to add is the effects are really crappy and fake at some points and what we get of the wastelands isn’t at all impressive. And the final thing that bugged me was how the same actors were playing so many roles at the same time; Sarah Paulson plays  4 different characters in this season alone. Despite the negatives, it was nice to see the witches from Coven reunite and the music is really solid. Honestly, if you are a die hard fan I’d recommend skipping this season unless you want a meh story and some unintentional laughs. Be safe and may the gaming gods bring you glory.