Slay the Spire, a Game I Love To Hate

Let me get this out of the way first, I’ve loved my time with this game. It has been fantastic. Just the ease of getting into it. Start the game, pick one of the characters then away you go. Play them in order to unlock the next, except the last one which you need to unlock the first three and complete a run.

Trailer for your enjoyment

I have come to the conclusion in my 30-plus hours with this game, I will never unlock this last character. I have made it to the final boss with the first three, more than once, Then I just get my ass handed to me. Stacks of 30 poison are laughed off as if they are nothing, walls of staggering levels of blocking that would seem impossible to break fall as if they were nothing. I have read guides, I have watched videos and I still can not seem to get through it.

Now I know what you are thinking, Dark Souls is not for me, and you would be wrong. I have gone through them all and loved them. ( except 2, nobody likes Dark Souls 2. Don’t be a liar and say you do.) Slay the Spire had been its own personal kind of hell for me, and I love it even more because of it. From every card combination that fails or works, this is one roguelike I can’t stop playing for some reason.

This guy can really go fuck himself

That 90’s Show Netflix Review

That 90’s show recently released on Netflix and as a huge fan of That 70’s show (and probably one of the 6 people on earth that enjoyed That 80’s Show) I was quite excited to see it. Admittedly I did not have much hope for it. The main cast was basically making cameos, Leia, Erik and Donna’s daughter, was essentially crashing with Red and Kitty and the new group of friends did not seem promising. In fact I watched it just to see Red and Kitty.

In fact I will die on the hill that Red and Kitty Foreman are the best part of That 90’s show,and possibly That 70’s show. This 10 episode run though was far better than I expected. They didn’t try to recapture the magic in a bottle from the original series, in fact if you pay attention it is very clear the original Point Place crew did not remain friends. I won’t go into details, but Kelsos son and Leia meet for the first time as the summer starts.

As the summer starts however and Leia is visiting you can tell there are some issues between Leia and Erik, not too different from Red and Erik despite the fact Erik is actually trying. She meets Gwen, the girl that lives next door where Donna used to live. They hit it off and after a couple days Leia wants to spend the summer, something Kitty is excited for,much to Reds dismay.

I won’t go on from here because I don’t want to spoil anything but we do get to see a new side of Red with this group of kids. A softer side in a way. This isn’t to say he isn’t the hard ass we know and love,but there are moments where you can see Red’s job as father figure is done and he embraces his role as grandfather. The show isn’t perfect, but in a lot of ways it gave me exactly what I wanted. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Catmaze Xbox series S/X Review

Catmaze is another bank breaking ($9.99) game from Ratalaika Games. As always I am grateful to be tossed a copy to review.

The game starts off with a young witch named Alesta running an errand for her sick mother. This errand should be quite simple, go and get a special grass that grows near a town to the west. This is when the game starts to really teach you about this metroidvania game.

The general gameplay is quite simplistic. One button jumps, another has your little familiar attack,of which you can collect twelve. Each with its own ability such as burning or freezing an enemy.

Traversing this world is easy, and it has a very good map. It updates fast,it doesn’t take up much space and doesn’t make you guess where on the map you are. You will be backtracking a bit trying to figure things out,but the maps are nice enough that I never really minded anyway. you can also refill your health and save your game at special cat fountains which you will need frequently.

The combat itself is surprisingly tactical. At first I tried to beat everything by simply standing in front of it and blasting it or later jumping on its head. This actually works out quite well until you defeat the first boss. After that you need to be a bit more careful.

The game is a blast to play if you enjoy metroidvania games. If you don’t it is still rather enjoyable. At the price this point this game comes in which is beyond reasonable despite my earlier joke. It is worth picking up. It is a good 8/10 game worth adding to your collection. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Loki, season 1

So where does the God of Mischief go with one of the most powerful artifacts in the known universe? Well, not very far because shortly after the events of Avengers: Endgame, he’s easily captured by the TVA, an organization designed to keep the flow of time and events on track in every timeline. Moebius, the agent in charge of Loki’s case, presents him a deal- help the TVA track down a dangerous variant running amok through the multiverse and maybe not go extinct. Things may not be all that they seem as Loki comes face to face with Sylvie, his female counterpart with a bloodlust for the TVA that could bring darkness across time and reality…

Ok, first things first, I love Hiddleston as Loki. I always have and always will. But I seriously think this six-episode series could have been condensed better into a two-hour movie. I fell asleep twice during my run of the show. It does pick up in the last couple of episodes, especially the finale, but holy shit to get there is an utter slog. I will say I loved Jonathan Majors as He Who Remains and I’m now excited for Kang the Conquer’s debut after the end. The acting is solid, the score is good with good effects but the pacing murders all of the good. In the end, you could honestly find the best part of this series on Youtube and I don’t think you’d be missing much. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Sandman Netflix Review

I am going to get a few things out of the way before I even start. I am not a reader of the Sandman comics. I have read Lucifer (comes from Sandman) so that is the only character I will mention any accuracy on. (Spoiler alert, the guy that wrote the character and helped with the show did great)

Another thing I will not get involved with is “woke politics” if you have read Neil Gaimans work you knew what you were getting into. This was his stuff before being “woke” was a thing.

Also it’s Constantine as in TINE/ WINE not Teen. Him and his comics said so.

Ok now that we have that out of the way,on with the show. It all starts out pretty trippy as you would expect with a series about an entity known as an Endless, Sandman (also called Morpheus) and his family exist to rule over certain things, Death,Desire etc. Sandman attempts to find an escaped nightmare and Magus who is upset over the loss of his favorite son casts a spell to trap Death and instead catches Sandman.

This is actually only the first episode and encompasses about 100 years of his imprisonment where is mostly stripped of his tools and powers. The rest are locked away with him inside of a magical seal which he can’t really escape.

This does an excellent job setting up future episodes, done as chapters, by letting us know the Endless are all extremely powerful but are not gods. They make mistakes,they change and grow as living things and most importantly you should not piss them off.

The show can’t go on without his escape which does eventually happen much to the regret of his captors. This will bring us on a journey to gather his tools back which includes sand, a mask and a sort of amulet. This brings me to my first issue.

Going into this we saw all sorts of previews and posters discussing Lucifer ( Gwendolin Christie) and Johanna Constantine ( Jenna Coleman) both only appear in a very limited capacity. (In fact Jenna technically only appears once as 2 different characters with the same name) and this really seems almost like a bait and switch. Clearly the show is about Sandman ( Tom Sturridge) but to make them seem like costars only to have them barely be guest appearances at best seems a little dishonest.

That aside, every character is played amazingly. At first I was a bit worried about John Constantine being done away with completely but him being gone may actually be an improvement. ( The John Constantine character could not be used for legal reasons so he was replaced with Johanna,another character in his family from the comics)

Morpheus and Johanna

Before I get more off track however, finding his tools is how he meets Johanna and later Lucifer.Johanna happens to now own his sand which she happily returns, if by happily we can say as happy as anyone would like to visit an ex-girlfriend that left without any notice or phone call. And Lucifer, well Lucifer is the devil. Her and Sandman basically kick the crap out of each other and he gets his mask back as Lucifer swears to see him later.

Lucifer and Morpheus

I won’t go further into the story because I don’t want to ruin it, but for something that is only 10 episodes I was hooked from start to finish. It is absolutely worth checking out, just don’t go into this expecting anything other than a dark (and I mean morbid) story. Morpheus is not a hero, or even a villain. He simply exists as a force of nature in control of a realm. He isn’t Batman or the Joker or anything in between. He is just there to do a job,and sometimes people get in the way, other times he can help. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

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Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated

Are ya ready kids? Bikini Bottom has been invaded by an army of robots (that totally didn’t come from the Chum Bucket, which is mysteriously locked down.) It’s up to our favorite yellow fry cook and his friends to save the undersea town from the machines that are wreaking havoc.

First, I just got to say I’m currently 31 years old and I still love Spongebob. This game stole my life for a couple weeks. Ultimately, the game is a solid platformer from a bygone era (PS2). Each character offers a different playstyle with different abilities; Sandy was my favorite and Patrick made me want to scream. The game is pretty simple, complete puzzles and get Golden Spatulas to open the next area. While this is the Rehydrated edition, you can tell this is still an old game with some old game problems- the NPCs are stiff, everyone constantly repeats their limited dialogue over and over again, and some of the more ambitious parts are frustrating to get through. Not all the voice actors returned which can be jarring to older fans. In the end, it’s a solid game, better for younger kids but not bad for grown-ups who want a little childhood nostalgia. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law reveal trailer

Oh dear…besides Ms. Marvel, I’d heard nightmare stories on the development here. I think comic She-Hulk kicks ass; this iteration made me cringe. She-Hulk herself looks really off and the CGI isn’t really convincing. I’m glad to see Tim Roth back as Abomination but that’s kind of the best I got here. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Green Lantern: Beware My Power trailer

This made my week. I do get particularly giddy over new Lantern stuff. I’m ecstatic this is a Jon Stewart movie and I love we got Hawkman from the upcoming Black Adam movie to voice him in this movie. I’m excited because the designs seem to harken back to old JLA animated series days. I can’t wait until it hits HBO. May the gaming gods bring you glory.