Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated

Are ya ready kids? Bikini Bottom has been invaded by an army of robots (that totally didn’t come from the Chum Bucket, which is mysteriously locked down.) It’s up to our favorite yellow fry cook and his friends to save the undersea town from the machines that are wreaking havoc.

First, I just got to say I’m currently 31 years old and I still love Spongebob. This game stole my life for a couple weeks. Ultimately, the game is a solid platformer from a bygone era (PS2). Each character offers a different playstyle with different abilities; Sandy was my favorite and Patrick made me want to scream. The game is pretty simple, complete puzzles and get Golden Spatulas to open the next area. While this is the Rehydrated edition, you can tell this is still an old game with some old game problems- the NPCs are stiff, everyone constantly repeats their limited dialogue over and over again, and some of the more ambitious parts are frustrating to get through. Not all the voice actors returned which can be jarring to older fans. In the end, it’s a solid game, better for younger kids but not bad for grown-ups who want a little childhood nostalgia. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Dead Space Remake (Art Deep Dive 1)

This game looks so damn beautiful but holy shit I just want Dead Space. Why EA didn’t just remaster the trilogy like they did with Mass Effect Legendary Edition I don’t know. Apparently, it’s been revealed the game is set to drop January of 2023. I’m hoping we get an amazing evolution of a horror classic and not a dud ( Resident Evil 3 (2020). May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jurrasic Park (novel)

After being surprised by Jaws (novel) I was really curious how much Spielberg changed for the movie. While I have reviewed the Jurassic Park series and while the movie is pretty much a cultural phenomenon, I’m not going to regurgitate the plot because the general plot is the same. What I’m going to do is basically talk about the differences and while I actually really enjoyed the book for some pretty damn different reasons.

So the book for Jurassic Park, while having a lot of the splendor and wonder of the movie, there is actually a lot of smart ethical questions and corporate evil in the book. In fact, Hammond is actually an eerily evil sociopath that is hell-bent on basically being his own god, no matter who dies in the process. The book never feels preachy about the ethical issues and the science but expertly feels like a grim kind of foreshadowing of how everything goes belly up. Another huge difference is the body count and gore in the book which is definitely past the pg-13 boundary and a lot of characters die in the book that don’t in the movies. The climax is more intense and well, a bit more brutal but also more realistic and fitting. Pretty much the only part of the book I couldn’t stand was Alex, Tim’s now younger sister (in the movie she was the older); she’s annoying and I swear she almost gets her, Timmy, and Grant killed at least half a dozen times in some pretty idiotic ways. Hammond maybe my favorite part of the book, starting as the kindly if not delusional grandpa figure he was in the book to becoming a heartless bastard as the story unfolds. The book is reasonably paced and Crichton had a great way of not talking down to his readers but not dumbing his themes down. In the end, I highly recommend the novel for Jurrasic Park, especially on Audible like I enjoyed it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) trailer

When the hell will Hollywood learn to leave well enough alone? As a general horror movie, it looks ok but I got way too many Halloween (2018) vibes from the trailer, actually when the plot seemed revealed it seemed like a copy/paste job if you ask me. I wasn’t expecting much but I really wish we’d leave that poor family alone. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Spider-man: No Way Home

New Spider-Man: No Way Home posters show off Electro, Goblin, and Doc Ock -  Polygon

Peter Parker has come a long way in the MCU, hasn’t he? Becoming an Avenger, beating Vulture in Spider-man: Homecoming as well as Mysterio in Spider-man: Far From Home ; well now the world knows after Mysterio reveals not only Parker’s secret identity but also frames him for his death. Suddenly the young wallcrawler’s life is not only in shambles but also the lives of May, Happy, Ned and MJ. Desperate he visits Dr. Strange for a favor but unbeknownst to both heroes, Parker made a grave mistake that rippled across worlds, bringing 5 villains from multiple dimensions into his world, each with a bone to pick: Doc Ock, Sandman, Lizard, Electro, and the Green Goblin. If dealing with 5 enemies and a crumbled reality isn’t enough, Peter learns they all will perish fighting Spider-man in their own universes; can Peter pay the ultimate price for the greater good and how far will he go to save a life?

Ok, I’m not going to spoil anything but I’m not going to sugarcoat it: No Way Home is fucking amazing (pun intended). Not only does this movie give a damn powerful conclusion to the Home trilogy but to Spider-man in general by contunining stories left off by Mcguire and Garfield’s timelines as well. There is plenty of fan service and you can tell this movie is hardcore for Spidey fans; seeing the classics return was not only rewarding but also a huge threat seeing them interact and face a younger Spider-man. This is Tom Holland’s best portrayal as Spider-man hands down and I loved seeing a story with him and Strange butting heads and playing off each other. The acting all around is great but Holland and Dafoe steal the show; Goblin is still a legend almost 20 years later. Admittedly tears were shed and this is a very heartwrenching movie but it completely pays off. Honestly, I recommend this movie not only to superhero fans but especially Spidey fans in general; you will cheer. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cotton 100% PS4 Review

As always I want to give a huge shout out to my friends over at ININ games for tossing me a copy of this one to review. It is always appreciated.

Cotton 100% was never released in the west but was originally released for the SNES in Japan. It is actually nice that this series is finally getting released here in America.

Cotton 100% is actually more of a side scrolling shooter, think along the lines of Gradius. As the screen moves to the side you will be shooting enemies that fly towards you or drop bombs or use other power ups on them. Unlike most games however where you will fly around in some sort of ship or such, you actually are a cute little pink haired witch on a broom.

Honestly she might have a name, but as of when I played it the game is only in it’s original Japanese. This doesn’t actually do anything to the game play and you could easily look up the story, I just didn’t bother. The game play was enough to keep me interested.

Graphically the game looks nice, it isn’t anything to write home about but we are looking at a re-release here. If you are walking into this expecting AAA graphics you aren’t having realistic expectations. The enemies are pretty well designed and the bosses are down right adorable. In fact I will go so far as to say they are probably the high point of the game itself. Each one is just greatly designed.

The sound unfortunately is where the game suffered the most for me. It wasn’t by any means bad, it just wasn’t exactly good. For me it just felt dated and stiff. And really could have used some sort of a bigger update or clearing up.

The truth about this game is quite simple, it’s fun but there isn’t anything special about it. It’s definitely worth playing playing and is a solid 7/10, but truth be told it’s a very niche game for people that love retro games. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Matrix Resurrections trailer 1

I feel weird about this one. I really liked the first Matrix but let’s face it, the sequels honestly blew. I like the direction this appears to be going in but I’m weary at the same time. I felt more of a soft spot during the trailer than I thought I would. This December I guess we’ll return to the Matrix once again. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic remake reveal trailer

One of my biggest regrets is never have gotten the chance to play the first game, which many still say is their favorite. I can’t wait to experience it for myself and see what the hype was for. May the gaming gods bring you glory.