Dreamcatcher (2003)

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Before we get started, I know, the Stephen King book was better. I have not read it, but someone always shows up and says it. I could say this movie was garbage, someone will say it. If I say the movie was amazing someone will still say it. Save us the time, lets assume the book was better and move on. And yes I am talking to one person specifically. My mother. I know you read these mom, I know you think the book was better and yes you will see me at Christmas. Also mom, you can click here  to buy a Savior Gaming coffee cup.

Now, moving on. Dreamcatcher as you may have noticed, is based on a Stephen King book. I am also convinced he was on drugs when he wrote this. Here is the story.

A group of kids help a mentally challenged kid being attacked by bullies. They become friends and it turns out he has special powers that he then gives to his new friends. As time goes on they all grow up, keep in touch and eventually have to save the world from an infection, or aliens. or something, I am trying not to ruin it. Also that sounds a lot like Power Rangers.

That is a pretty bare bones explanation, but we all know my love of avoiding spoilers. The story is pretty damn great tho, as is the acting. You will never be confused by it and what is going on will be pretty clear, but the true weight of it all is just out of reach. King has always been a master at this, and the movie does a good job at translating that. By all means check this one out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Star Wars

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Let’s talk about a film trilogy that shaped 9 out of 10 childhoods, changed the way people look at fantasy and sci fi forever, and that came from left field and kicked major ass. It will always be Star Wars to me, such as the sequels will always be Empire, Jedi, and Awakens to me because Star Wars meant a grand epic story full of intrigue, great characters, cool settings and hope for punk ass nobodies like myself that maybe we aren’t nothing in the grand scheme of things, that everybody, no matter how small can make a difference.

I’m sure most of us know the story but for those who don’t, I’m truly sorry because I’ll get to that at the end but I’m going to rectify that a bit. Luke Skywalker is a bored teen living on the desert planet of Tatooine, farming moisture with his aunt and uncle, wishing he was off fighting the far off rebellion against the Galactic Empire. One day he finds two droids, C3PO and R2D2, who are secretly carrying a message from Princess Leia for a old Jedi master named Obi wan Kenobi to help her. Luke knows a mysterious old hermit named Ben Kenobi that is indeed Obi Wan, and tells Luke about the Jedi Knights of old days and hands Luke his father’s old lightsaber. Obi wan offers to train Luke in the ways of the force, to become a Jedi like his father, but Luke is bound to his aunt and uncle- until the Empire came looking for the droids and murdered his family. Alone with old Obi wan, it’s up to Lukeand two scoundrels, Han Solo and Chewbacca, to save Leia from the clutches of the Empire and their dark, menacing enforcer Darth Vader and destroy there humongous moon sized super weapon called the Death Star that blows up planets…

So, obviously I love the shit out of this movie but now for the original trilogy I have to do things a little differently. I’m going to give the original and “remasters” a rating from A to F to show you an idea how much it kills the experience and tarnishes these masterpieces.

Pre 97: A

Post 97: B+

So why did I drop it a grade between versions? True some of the effects are touched up, the lightsabers look better and the Death Star run at the end looks better BUT other things they added were invasive as hell to say the least. Like they add a scene wwith Jabba the Hut that adds nothing but fluff and looks off with the CGI. You can tell it was added way later. And speaking of Solo, his encounter with bounty hunter Greedo in the Cantina was altered so Greedo shot first instead of Han. This is stupid for two reasons. First, it looks half assed how they added Greedo’s first shot. And more importantly,  originally it shows Han to be more of a cool lonely badass who finds a heart through the trilogy and a cause to fight for than a already good guy that want him to be. Honestly, you can easily fast forward the Jabba scene with a click but the stuff makes you groan a little bit but doesn’t destroy the movie’s immersion. In the end, I highly recommend Star Wars if you never saw or did, it’s a great time. May the force be with you, always, my friends.

Bedeviled (2016)

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With the reliance on technology today what would happen if there was an app that was also your companion? It talked to you, it knew you, it used the information on your phone to help you with things? You would probably call it Siri or Cortana. Lets take it a step further tho, what if that thing could say, play music for you? How about turn your lights on or record a television show? Actually we have the technology to do that as well.

This movie however isn’t about that. No this movie is about an evil force using our knowledge that technology exist to appear on your cell phone as an app that a friend sent you, gain your trust, then kill you. It then sends an invite for the app to your friends, and the process starts all over again. It is almost like a modern day boogie man or Freddie Kruger in a sense, angry that humans have convinced themselves they are gods and have nothing left to fear it has taken it upon itself to create that fear,

The story is pretty well done as is the acting, it manages to be modern and brings to light many of the things of the modern world, but it doesn’t do it in a belittling or arrogant way. It doesn’t try to convince you the good old days were better. It simply tries to tell you times have changed and some thing is angry. This one is worth a watch people, best wishes and may the gamin gods bring you glory.

All American Christmas Carol (2013)

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I appreciate what this movie was attempting to do. A modern, trailer park version of the classic Christmas story, a Christmas Carol. Actually expected this to be hilarious. It is basically the three expected ghost visiting a white trash mom that thinks work is for suckers to show her the error of her ways and save her family and Christmas. Honestly it starts off pretty well on its way. One of her kids dads (there are many) is a semi professional paint ball player that dies when he gets shot in the eye playing and not wearing his safety glasses. While this in itself isn’t funny, his funeral is at the paintball range and there is beer in the coffin, but only sixer.

Sadly the movie pretty much fails to ever take off. The humor is all about stereotypes but is never actually funny about it, for example one character is a redneck named rat tail that has, you guessed it, a rat tail. He owns a motorcycle and is a professional wrestler. That is it. Outside of being a semi love interest he serves no actual purpose.

The ghost themselves consist of a girl from high school that died during an accident with a donkey, draw your own conclusion, a dead rock star and the main characters mom, none of which are all that memorable. This movie is best avoided. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cowboys vs Dinosaurs (2015)

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This is another movie I saw and just said to myself, self, you are watching this movie. So I popped it on. If you like outrageous B movies with a ridiculous plot just look at the title of the damn movie. It is exactly what it sounds like. A small mining town trying to get some iridium accidentally finds something else. Dinosaurs.  First a few small ones come out, kill some swimmers in bikinis because hey, every B movie has that scene.

Eventually our “paranoid” single survivor of the mine is proven right as dinosaurs run rampant on the town. Of course this is a town of country cowboys so everyone has a gun. By the end of the movie there are bullets and dinosaurs everywhere. As the bodies get stacked high on both sides a daring plan to finish the problem once and for all is hatched. This movie isn’t for everyone, but for B movie fanatics its worth watching. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

A Christmas Horror Story

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A Christmas Horror Story is pretty upfront about what it is honestly. It is a horror movie and a Christmas movie.  It is actually multiple stories happening all at once, some rather interesting such as Santa fighting zombie elves at the north pole. Others not so much, such as  the ghost story in a basement.

One of the highlights of this movie for me was William Shatner playing a radio dj that i working a double for Christmas. As the movie progresses he gets more and more into the Christmas spirit with eggnog and booze until he is just drinking booze out of the bottle.

The movie itself however ranges from pretty bad to downright average at best. Normally this is the part where I say unless you are a pretty avid horror fan to avoid the movie, but this time I won’t do that. I actually recommend anybody that is even remotely a horror fan watch it. The Krampus story arc and the Santa is pretty fun, and the short fight between the two is interesting, but the ending of the movie is why I say to watch. I won’t spoil anything for you, but it is worth it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

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So I am screwing around on Netflix looking for something to watch and I come across this. Feeling nostalgic around Christmas, maybe because my dad died this year and I used to watch stuff like this with him, or maybe just because I haven’t really had the chance to sit down and watch some classic movies in awhile I popped this one on. I learned a few things. First, it felt weird not watching this on VHS and an old tube television. Second, this movie came out decades before I was born and yet I still enjoyed it more than most modern movies. And possibly last but not least, At least once a week I hear someone say ” I wish people would stop with all the political and social commentary in movies and on television.” Honestly, that has always been there. This movie is about a man from space that shows up with a giant robot. We as humans of course shoot him as soon as he tries to hand us something and his giant robot melts some guns and a tank. Space man gets fixed up and tried to get a meeting with the world and of course the world goes all high school stupid and starts with the if he goes I won’t go stuff.

So what is a space man to do when America locks him in a room and says don’t go anywhere? He leaves to see the city. News of course goes nuts, starts gets people all riled up and scared. See a pattern here? This movie was released in the 1950’s and if you replace the word spaceman with words like “Irish, immigrant, communist, Muslim” or any number of words you can change the year and it would fit the social commentary of a decade. The space man even comments about the media spreading needless fear.

Once we get to the end of the movie we hit another topic of social commentary that could hit any number of decades. Our space man finally gets a meeting, but not with world leaders but with scientist. Whats his message? That giant robot is basically the galaxy police force and they have ultimate power that no one questions or interferes with. They are so feared the rest of galaxy wants to trouble so they simply don’t have weapons. Since earth discovered nuclear energy they will eventually use it in a space ship and join the galactic community. Either do so in peace or the giant robots will destroy the Earth. That is a pretty damn severe message I would say.

All and all I have to say I was surprised by the the amount of social commentary in a movie from the 1950s, but more surprised how much of it actually stands true over 60 years later. Best wishes and  may the gaming gods bring you glory.