Cats (2019)

Cats (2019 film) - Wikipedia
Cats (2019 film) - Wikipedia

Oh boy everyone…that’s basically all this review is going to sum up really. There is plenty to say and I feel WTF sums it all up really damn good. First of all, I actually like musicals and I respect Andrew Lloyd Weber for making something this bizarre in the first place; I’m sure we’ve heard the stories of Cats 2019 and are wondering how true they are. Is Cats a masterpiece or a bust?

So Cats primarily (we’ll get back to that) follows a abandoned cat who is left on the cold streets where she meets a host of other Gelical Cats who sing there way to a better life…

So yeah Cats is pretty much a dumpster fire as a film. Again, I respect the musical and as a stage show I think it works. If they made a animated adaptation I think it could have been better than this. Everyone is nightmare fuel to look at. The off-putting sensation you got from the trailer never goes away and during the more sensual dance numbers, I felt pretty creeped out; the dancing cockroaches made me shiver. This movie is full of truly talented people who feel really out of place here- Ian McKellen, Judy Dench, Idris Elba, and Rebel Wilson to name a few. While their presences are baffling, no one is this movie doesn’t try their ass off. Jennifer Hudson, despite the hideous effects, steals the show for me and she almost brought me to tears with her rendition of “memory”. The format of the story is fluid which hurts it; we get characters for a song, they disappear, rinse and repeat. While the characters look terrifying, the sets are great and again, I must stress this sincerely, the cast tries their asses off to make something out of this. In the end, Cats is a disaster that deserves to be seen to be believed, if not for the spectacle than to appreciate the work that went into it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Eternals reveal trailer

I sighed through my way through this. I always found the Eternals a fascinating part of Marvel lore but they are definitely some of the weirdest parts. Did they need a movie? Not really and to add insult to injury, the trailer tells you how their existence poops on the MCU a little bit. Like most I’ll watch it but I’m not looking forward it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Leviathan

Leviathan (1989 film) - Wikipedia

Miles beneath the Atlantic Ocean, a group pf miners lead by a geologist are harvesting minerals from the ocean floor. During a routine sea-walk, a pair of crew members stumbles upon a Russian sea wreck named the Leviathan. Within the confines of the ship, there were casualties, questions, and a flask of vodka. It isn’t long before the crew discovers it isn’t booze in the flask and not only do the crew members that drank from it die, but suffer a series of heavy genetic alterations, creating a beast unlike any other. Can the survivors not only survive the beast but the crushing sea waiting to destroy them?

Leviathan is a movie I grew up with, and off the bat I have to say it’s a pretty decent B movie. This movie is trying to be Alien and The Thing just underwater and it does pretty decent at it until you get the creature effects. Back in 89, I think the effects were fair enough but today, in 2021, the creature effects are pretty cheesy looking. I do have to give credit though, the underwater scenes and general atmosphere are impressive for the time and have a great sense of claustrophobia. The acting is pretty fair but admittedly Ernie Hudson was my favorite character in the movie and had my favorite line in it. The score fits and adds to the movie in a couple spots. In the end, while not great by any means, Leviathan is a decent B movie worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Venom: Let there be Carnage trailer 1

Here it is, the debut of Carnage, a fan favorite gritty psychopath and nemesis of Venom. First of all, again, actual Venom and especially Carnage look great. Everything else looks lackluster. I’m hoping for the best and I know Hardy will give his all but will it be enough? May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Adventureland (2009)

I think the weirdest part of this movie for me is seeing a young Ryan Reynolds. Seriously nthe dude hasn’t really aged in the last like 12 years. Did Betty White check out and toss the keys to the fountain if youth to that guy?

Anyway, back to the movie. Adventureland is about a kid that was supposed to go to Europe for the summer and when his dad gets demoted can no longer pony up the money as a graduation gift as promised.

So our college grad James (Jessie Eisenberg) decided to get a summer job to save some money and go off to college in New York to further his education, but before than he falls in love with our cute Emily (or Em as she is called played by Kristen Stewart) that has a horrible relationship with her step mom and works at adventure land to piss off her parents. Coincidentally this is also the only job James can get.

These two hit it off but we soon discover our married local handyman/musician/cool guy Mike Connell (Ryan Reynolds) kind of has this thing with cheating on his wife. By that I mean he does it a lot. This summer with Em.

Connell isn’t exactly a bad guy so much as he is a um…ok so he is a bad guy but he is friendly, but he also never exactly gives James bad advice even when he discovered he had a thing for Em despite the fact he wasn’t exactly happy with it.

Honestly while I would like to say that whole thing is a side part of the plot it really is just the plot. It isn’t a love story however, this is simply used as a focal point to explain how one summer and a change of perspective can change what you see as important and that when things change that doesn’t mean they are over.

James for example loses all the money he saves up for New York and the friend he was supposed to stay with decided to go to a different school. He soon realizes however that doesn’t mean he can’t still go to New York and work his way through school.

Each character has a sort of summer that either changes them or at least makes them examine what they are doing, and it is good for a laugh along the way and that honestly is all I ask for. I can happily recommend this movie. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Coraline

Coraline: Neil Gaiman: Bloomsbury Children's Books

Coraline Jones is a girl who yearns for adventure in a dull, boring world with her neglectful parents. Her family moves into a spooky house surrounded by strange neighbors. One day Coraline discovers their is a whole new world made for her, ruled by her fun, loving Other Mother. There is fun, there is games, but something simply isn’t right with their wide grins and button eyes. The Other Mother offers to keep Coraline, all she has to do is let her sew buttons into her eyes; the Other Mother rapidly shows the horror of the Other World but if Coraline ever wants to save not only herself but her real parents, she’ll have to match wits against the Other Mother unless fall to the same terrible fate as others before her…

So, whether book or film, this ties with Willy Wonka as my favorite kid’s story. Neil Gaiman creates a genuinely intriguing horror story that is pretty damn original and creepy for all ages. The book isn’t long and simple but doesn’t talk down to it’s audience. The movie does an amazing job of translating Gaiman’s world and adding it’s own touches; the Other Mother stole the show for me and is one of my most underrated horror villains. The book and movie are absolutely amazing and I couldn’t recommend them more. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Invisible Man (2020)

The Invisible Man (2020 film) - Wikipedia

Ok, so we live in a world of rehashes, reboots, sequels, prequels and nostalgia-mania and the fact is pretty inescapable. The Invisible Man is a tale older than many and it’s been a while so I was extremely curious after hearing the extremely positive reviews.

Cecilia’s life has been hell and in the middle of the night breaks free from her genius, abusive boyfriend Adrian. She’s petrified of his influence and determination, barely able to walk to the curb if able to leave the house at all. She’s at odds when discovering Adrian killed himself and left her as the sole heir of his multimillion dollar fortune. With him dead, she starts showing improvement but something isn’t right. Things move and she never feels alone and this presence gets more and more malevolent, isolating her from her family and friends, until she is completely alone.

I have to say this movie is way better than it had any right to be and I mean that in the best way possible. Leigh Whanell did a fantastic job directing and Elizabeth Moss is damn compelling. There is a lot of good psychological moments as well as a pretty badass moment towards the end. I actually cheered at the end. Surprisingly there is a level of uncertainty that adds some replay value to the movie like The Thing . As for negatives, there are a few logic gaps, especially when the real plot is unfolded and at times the pacing feels off in places. In the end, its as damn good reimagining I seriously recommend. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Justice League, Snyder’s Cut (Savior)

As many of you know, I had a few problems with the theatrical release of this one. I truthfully went into this thinking this would be four hours of more of the same.

Honestly  there were some things absolutely loved, for example Cyborg having a much bigger and more important role really made me smile. The same can be said for Flash. Steppinwolf also looked far better. That is pretty much where my praise will end for this new version.

The new story elements really served new purpose and had a lot of plot holes, for example how did he forget something was on a planet he had literally been too? Also, why why did he bother fighting an army in the past if he could have landed literally anywhere else on Earth to succeed in what he was doing?

A lot of my issues with the original movie not only still exist, they are now worse. The pacing of the movie that was already bad now stretches out for four hours. Worse, they changed scenes entirely and dragged them out to reach that length. If you want to make a four hour movies that shouldn’t be needed.

Don’t get me wrong the movie was fun, but so was the original. This really was more of the same and unnecessary. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mortal Kombat 2021

  What is there to say about this new Mortal Kombat? We all went into this expecting the same thing right? Some beautiful effects, awesome fight scenes and at best some decent story, but did we get that?
 
    Well for starters, the effects were in fact beautiful. The ice coming off Sub-Zero’s hands in the very start of the movie were magnificent and seeing the blood splatters through out the movie, it almost looked like people really getting busted open.
  
   The right scenes were also great, the it was almost like watching a dance at a time but none of it seemed overdone. There was a nice mix of flashy moves and brutal combat.

   The story however falls flat, and honestly that’s no surprise. Really it was just a reason to get people fighting. The whole thing really takes place prior to the 10th win in a row for Outworld and of course Shang Tsung would like nothing more than to cheat his way to victory. He sends his assassin’s to kill Earth’s heroes Liu Kang, Kung Lao and Jax just to name a few.
  
   This brings me to the new original character Cole Young. Truthfully I hate this character. He is totally unlikable and his entire story is straight out of some 80’s acting movie cliche. Don’t get me wrong,Lewis Tan does an amazing job with what he is given. The character itself is just bad.
 
   All in all tho I enjoyed the movie, just watch it for what it is. An action movie where you are meant to enjoy the fighting and the story is just a means to get to those fights. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Justice League Snyder Cut

Prime Video: Zack Snyder's Justice League

So it’s no secret I hated the hell out of Justice League (2017) and in all honestly, I wasn’t sure how I really felt when the Snyder Cut was announced. Four hour runtime, added characters and storylines, I just assumed it was going to be a crap ton of fluff. I’m going to tell you right now, while far from perfect, I thoroughly enjoyed the Snyder Cut vs hating the hell out of Wheddon’s version.

I’m happy to say the movie is broken into 6 chapters with a 7th as a epilogue so it’s pretty easy to break apart and watch it more like a mini series. For such a long movie, I found the pacing pretty fair, never really feeling overbearing. The effects are radically improved; Cyborg, Steppenwolf, Atlantis, and the Speed Force scenes look way better. I love the addition of Darkseid, Martian Manhunter and the cameo by Joker ( Leto redeems himself in this cameo). My favorite part of the Snyder cut is the characterization which was a huge problem before; Cyborg, Flash, and Steppenwolf are huge improvements and Batman is kept serious and is no longer a chump.

While a lot of things are improved, there are some mixed and damn right annoying things. The opening flat out made me laugh my ass off. Zach Snyder still has a really irritating habit of going effects heavy and drawing slow motion scenes on for too long. The lighting could be better but looks better than the red toned end of the previous ending. Sometimes the music is overly dramatic; I will say the battle music is badass as hell. While better flushed out, I still feel like too much is going on and I feel like the general audience will get confused at points.

In the end, I really liked the Snyder Cut of Justice League vs the botched theatrical cut and I think it’s well worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.