Wishmaster (1997)

wishmaster

Wishmaster is Produced by Wes Craven, and is the only one of the movies with his name attached to it and is the movie about Djinn, more commonly known as genies. Tho not the traditional versions we are used to hearing about. The much older and darker versions that give you exactly what you ask for and are far more vile and evil.

When an opal finds its way to Alex, who finds something odd about it while attempting to appraise it for her boss, she leaves it with a friend, but not before accidentally releasing the before mentioned djinn.

This evil djinn now is now free to grant wishes to collect souls to trap in the opal for his own purposes prior to granting Alex any 3 wishes she desires. This also serves a purpose I don’t want to spoil, just know the movie does contain a pretty respectable body count and is quite gory and graphic,as you would expect from any Wes Craven movie.

The acting, visuals and sound all have a nice 80’s throw back feel to them while maintaining a true 90’s look. Clearly in today’s world you won’t be impressed by any of this but you won’t exactly be sad to see it. This one is worth checking out if you haven’t seen it, it and the sequels are currently on Hulu. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 666: Issac’s Return

children corn 6

So this will be the final review I’m doing for the Children of the Corn series. There are others in the series and I’m sure the series isn’t dead, but for me the series came down to a fair conclusion with the sixth installment.

As the title suggests, Issac returns to his flock almost 20 years later after being in a coma since the original film. Hannah, a young woman has returned to Gatlin in search for her mother who was one of Issac’s original disciples. The town is full of his reformed flock and their offspring. When Hannah comes, Issac awakens and he foretells a prophecy that she will mate with He Who Walks Behind The Rows and pretty much create the Anti-Christ…

Ok, for a movie called Children of the Corn, there really aren’t any children in this movie. Just saying. On a whole, I got to say I feel it’s the best since the original and that’s mainly because of the charisma of Issac’s original actor. I liked the way we discover the fallout on the kids from the original cult. The story and acting are solid with easily the best effects of the series. If you enjoy the first movie, definitely check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The WaterBoy (1998)

the waterboy

The WaterBoy is one of the older Adam Sandler movies, back when he may or may not have still been funny depending on who you talk to since some people never really found him funny. Roger Ebert and Rotten Tomatoes gave this one horrible scores and IMBd was slightly kinder with a 6.1/10.

As for me? Well this one was hit and miss for me. It had its moments really that made me laugh,but all in all the movie was just more of Adam Sandler just sort of being a goof ball. The story itself is pretty ridiculous.  Bobby plays a guy obsessed with making water the best it could possibly be. He also happens to have a bit of a temper which results in some interesting skill at tackling ability which I am also pretty positive most of what he does is against the rules of college football.

Don’t get me wrong, the movie has its funny moments, and when I was younger Sandler yelling “Stop making fun of me” before drop kicking people made me laugh, but 20 years later I can seem to care as much. Don’t get me wrong, there are worse movies out there, and I still enjoy this one. However this one was better when I was younger. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 5: Fields of Terror

children corn 5

So, wanna talk about a movie Eva Mendes doesn’t want to. In fact I gotta say there’s been a few famous starlets in the series before they were famous. Naomi Watts starred in Children of the Corn 4: The Gathering and Charlize Theron had a small bit part in Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest That being said, this review kinda sums up why I left the series with 7: these movies become stale real quick. Some friends who are supposed to be college age but we know are pushing 30 break down in a town, they go for help, come back and car is destroyed, kids lead them to weird cult leader played the late David Carradine and yadda yadda. I can’t lie folks, this movie bored the shit out of me. It’s not offensively terrible but it just couldn’t hold my attention, and that was at the height of my fandom. It’s the least WTF of the series, it’s not particularly gory or outlandish as others which kind of hurts the movie and I really can’t remember any new kind of piece to the lore. Carradine gives the best performance of the movie but isn’t there much and Eva Mendes is laughably bored but when these are the best features of your film, is it really worth remembering? In the end, it’s worth skipping, you aren’t missing much. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: the beginning

tcm the beginning

Lat year I talked about Texas Chainsaw Massacre when Tobe Hooper passed away; Tobe Hooper, R.I.P . This year I revisit the series after the passing of R Lee Ermey, Sheriff Hoyt, R.I.P R Lee Ermey

As the title suggests, the movie is devoted to showing how the diabolical Hewitt family of the remake came to power as well as the birth of Thomas Hewitt, the man who would become Leatherface. Tommy suffers from several birth defects, cast away and thrown into a dumpster after his mother dies during birth, in a slaughterhouse nonetheless. He is found and brought to the Hewitt family and raised as his own, deformed and mute, growing up to return to the slaughterhouse. But hard times have come to Travis County and the house closes, and after years of taking shit, Tommy snaps and the madness begins. Tommy’s uncle Charlie kills the town sheriff and takes his authority and identity out on the ghost town while coming across four teens on there way to enlist in Vietnam. In this encounter we see how things came to be, as well as the pivotal moment Tommy took his first face and picked up the chainsaw, his only real friend.

2006 was a bloody time in horror with Saw, Hostel, and the Hills Have Eyes being all the rage and this movie fits the trend. As far as A-B prequels go, it’s pretty solid. It’s very much a movie where you are invested in the family more than the heroes and I found myself much more attached to them then the people you should have been, although the Hewitts are the straight up bad guys here. Ermey as Hoyt and Andrew Brynairski as Leatherface were the highlights for me. It’s a VERY bloody and brutal movie so don’t watch it if guts make you sick. Overall, I thought it was a underrated slasher film that deserves a second look. To finish this review I want to quote R Lee Ermey as Hoyt, my favorite line from the movie and one that’s come to me a few times in real life, when all is said and done..

” Nobody will remember what we say here today, but they are sure as shit remember what we do,” – Sheriff Hoyt.

Iron Man 3 (2013)

iron man 3

Iron Man 3 is a weird one, it was one of (at the time) 16 movies to have grossed a billion dollars or more all time and was the 5th highest grossing film of all time, yet only the 2nd highest of that year. Yet it met with some pretty mixed reviews and some people actually consider this to be one of the worst in the MCU. Admittedly I do not personally fall into this category, but I do recognize that while it was a great movie it did leave comic fans much to be desired.

This movie sees Tony Start dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after the alien invasion of the Avengers movie. Really can you blame him? Dude went from fighting terrorist and a Russian dude to finding out there is life on other planets and gods with magic hammers floating around.

Speaking of terrorist, that is what Iron Man is back to fighting, a terrorist named Mandarin.  After bombing a bunch of stuff, Stark threatens him on TV so Mandarin sends a helicopter gunship to shoot up his house. Weirdly the plot of this movie is a huge dick waving contest between Iron Man and Mandarin.

As you would expect from the MCU the sound quality, visuals and acting are all high-class with a strong soundtrack. The story itself for Iron Man 3 is the only part that people really disagree on. I enjoyed it, tho I would call it middle of the road for the MCU, but others have hated it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

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