The Package (2018)


The Package is a um, interesting movie. The basic idea is ridiculous to even explain. When five friends go on a camping trip and decide to get drunk shit goes bad very fast. See when you have a drunk idiot playing with a butterfly knife while taking a leak bad things happen. Especially when your drunk idiot friends decide to scare you. The med evac gets there pretty fast so Jeremy gets there alive and well. His penis on the other hand, well that got left at the camp site when they accidentally gave the medics the beer instead of the penis.

Yea, that entire movie is a group of 4 friends trying to get Jeremy his dick back. The journey is quite eventful honestly. There are some injuries, a stolen boat, an 11-year-old pervert got slapped ( he deserved it) and even the heinous act of lost cell phones. Seriously tho the movie is weird, but in a fun way.

The movie has some solid acting and a fun premise. It isn’t new but can be exciting at times, if not goofy as hell needlessly. It is definitely worth watching if you like weird and awkward comedies.  Just don’t go into this expecting greatness, the movie is fun but it isn’t life changing or new, simply fun. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you greatness.


Like Father (2018)

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Like Father is of course the new Netflix movie, which isn’t saying much as they seem to be multiplying like bunnies in a Viagra factory. This one is the story of a daughter left at the altar ( Rachel played by Kristen Bell) while her dad (Harry played by Kelsey Grammer) she hasn’t in 26 years shows up. They will then go out, get drunk and end up on a cruise together.

The story is pretty cliché honestly, there is absolutely nothing in this story to surprise you except that Seth Rogen (Jeff) randomly shows up as a love interest for Rachel and then just as randomly he is gone. They explain the whole thing just fine, and it’s not badly done. It’s just Seth randomly being in a movie then randomly not which honestly might be the most Seth Rogen thing possible.

Kristen and Kelsey do put on a great show and the take what easily could have been a relatively boring and forgettable movie and make it enjoyable. They feel like a real father and daughter that struggle to reconnect but have a lot in common, right down to both being workaholics to the point of it being almost an addiction. The movie isn’t great and has its issues, but its enjoyable. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Damned (2013)

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The damn, also known as Gallow Hills, is the story of a family and friends stranded during a storm. Having gone off the road a bit during a flash flood and being trapped the seek shelter and help in a nearby home. The old man who lives there has 1 rule. When that one rule is broken, things go bad real fast.

The rule was actually quite simple, stay here. When nature calls and someone runs to the bathroom she hears a little girl crying for help. When they find a girl boarded up in a room they fear they old man may be pedophile or worse and let her out. This mistake is about to cost some lives.

See this little girl isn’t a little girl at all, and she was locked away for a reason. This little girl is more of a demonic force trapped away for the safety of everyone else. Much like this movie probably should have been locked away. The story itself brings nothing new, and while the acting and visuals are good enough the story has some pacing issues. There is also a plot twist that makes very little difference. Not sense, it makes sense just fine, it just doesn’t matter. The ending also means very little. Also the movie technically starts at the end and is one of them just telling a story, but you will know that from the very beginning. This is actually okay and I liked this at first and it gives nothing away really.  The movie just wasn’t all that interesting. There are far worse movies out there, there are just better movies out there telling better stories. I won’t say don’t watch this one, but don’t expect an instant classic. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bob Saget That’s What I’m Talkin’ About (2013)

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If you are anything like me you grew up watching Americas Funniest videos and Full House. Maybe you watch Fuller House on Netflix. Bob Saget was that all American dad next door. Good guy, great father clean house doesn’t curse or swear. If you want to keep that image, don’t look him up on YouTube and for the love of the gaming gods, don’t watch this stand-up. Seriously, don’t do it.

If you want to screw your world up a bit and see old Danny Tanner talk about sex, swear and all sorts of messed up stuff, this stand up is for you. Or go on you YouTube and type in Bob Saget the aristocrats. I don’t recommend doing that tho, the joke is pretty damn messed up.

The stand-up tho is quite hilarious even without the added bonus of seeing a childhood father figure say messed up stuff and is very much worth checking out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Extinction (2018)

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Extinction is a new movie from Netflix that is going to be hard for me to review. The main reason for this is I have some major issues with later in the movie, but I can’t actually tell you what they are without ruining the entire movie. So I will focus on the good, but touch on the bad a little bit later.

First the good. The acting is solid. The family the movie revolves around feels like a real family with real problems that have legitimate problems that love each other but just don’t know what to do anymore. Peter (Michael Pena) Is having a hard time sleeping. He is having odd nightmares about some sort of disaster. This is causing a strain on his marriage to Alice (Lizzy Caplan) and his job and of course his life in general.

When he is finally convinced to go seek counseling he has a sudden change of heart when he discovers he isn’t the only one having these dreams. A little bit later you will discover these dreams aren’t just dreams, this is something that is about to happen. Soon at a party in fact while out on the deck with a friend, they will witness the start.

I will stop there as to not ruin the story,but from there on we get to what I don’t like. From here it becomes hard to discuss what I don’t like since it could really kill much of the end of the movie which I really don’t want to do. Suffice it to say after a certain point I do think the story falls apart almost completely. It does come back around for the ending thankfully, and I do think its worth a watch. Just be careful because there are some story issues that you may want to simply accept for what they are and not think about. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Good Kids (2016)

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Good Kids is about four kids that basically were losers in high school, never got invited to parties, studied hard, got good grades and got into good colleges. After graduation,  they decided they would have that summer they never had in school. The summer of yes as they call it. The would go out and do all the things they wanted to do. Get drunk, try drugs, have a boyfriend and get laid. Or would they?

Well it turns out they do get invited to a party, and are quite popular. It isn’t long before they are doing all of those things. The tennis pro actually becomes a male prostitute on accident. The movie is funny tho it has its ups and downs, but this movie does something a bit different. Something that can make you wonder about your days in school.

Towards the end of the movie our man and hooker Andy runs into a recently ex classmate Conch when he goes to the wrong house. After a small talk he is told, to use Conch’s words, a “hard truth” Nobody ever disliked them and they exiled themselves. The reason they weren’t invited to the parties was simple. Nobody was invited, people just showed up,that is why it was called a party. Andy being drunk has a sort of epiphany and agrees to come to the next party, where the group is made more than welcomed.

This to me is the highlight of the movie. Looking back at school, how many times have you gone places and weren’t really invited you simply knew to go? Did you ever wonder if maybe the less popular kids simply didn’t know they simply needed to show up? Or is that even a thing? I actually never got invited so I don’t personally know but it was a pretty thought-provoking. Maybe I missed out on some school experiences and friendships simply because I wasn’t aware that there were all these parties I was supposed to simply show up at and nobody told me. Regardless, the movie is pretty solid. Not the best, but interesting enough to be worth a watch. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Life After Beth (2014)

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Life After Beth is an odd movie. See it starts out with Beth already dead. So we see her funeral and the toll it takes on young Zach. Zach does mention to her father,Maury, they were having problems tho. However after they play some chess, smoke some weed and he goes home we discover Beth is back. Shortly after we find out Beth has changed. But has she really? We don’t really know because Zach seems to be the only one to notice at first.

This small annoyance aside the movie is quite humorous, it is also a pretty different take on the usual zombie genre. In fact nobody even believes or knows she is a zombie at first. She walks, talks, eats just like a normal person for the vast majority of the movie. She also happens to be the only one. It isn’t until much later, and until Zach breaks his promise to Maury and tells her she died in the first place that more show up. They also for some reason have an odd obsession with attics.

As Beth gets more and more violent and Zach gets more and more scared and more of these zombies show up, more people start to believe Zach that Beth is alive and not just Zach being nuts.Its a little hard to deny it when your grandparents show up for dinner really. Another odd but fun choice is for some reason, smooth jazz calms the zombies down. I have no clue why, or why it would but hey, lets just go with it guys.

At the end of the day this is an interesting horror comedy that doesn’t take itself seriously and is worth watching if you are a fan of that sort of thing. Personally I liked it and would recommend checking it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.