Tag: Movies

Knock at the Cabin Movie Review

Knock at the Cabin is probably the first Dave Bautista movie I have seen that wasn’t in some way an action movie. I wasn’t really sure what to think going into this but it looked interesting.

M. Night has a way of making 2 types of movies, great and why the hell did I waste my time watching this,and I’m happy to say this one falls into the pretty great category because it doesn’t really force you into making any decisions, while also making you feel for both sides of what should be,and is, a crazy situation.

The movie starts off with a little girl named Wen catching grasshoppers outside of the cabin her family is vacationing in. This is when Leonard (Dave B) makes his entrance and instead of his usual style he is simply shown as a very big man walking in the woods.

He sits down and talks to Wen and quickly we discover this soft spoken giant of a man is here on a mission,one he is not happy to be on. We discover Wen has 2 fathers and when asked how she felt about it she basically tells me she loves her dad’s and it’s only when people try to hard that she becomes uncomfortable with them asking about it. (This is obviously done in little kid language) Leonard quicky tells Wen to remember no matter what happens when his associates arrive, he is her friend above anything else.

Things quickly take a turn when they are forced to break into the cabin and let this family know that one of them must be sacrificed to avoid the apocalypse. The rules are simple. Nobody can leave the cabin, this family must make the choice themselves, and they must also make the sacrifice themselves.

What follows is a weird ride if it is true or isn’t it true, discovering one of these 4 may or may not be the homophobic man that attacked one of the fathers in the bar which is what caused this man’s distrust of people and some tastefully done death scenes.

The movie is very well crafted to make you think instead of trying to catch your interest with blood and gore. At times I even found myself questioning the gay couples motives for not making the choice as it becomes more and more clear this may not be some cult sort of thing.

This brings me to Dave’s performance as Leonard. He was phenomenal and even when I felt he was in the wrong for even being there,I wanted to see him win. This also brings me to what you rarely see in movies. Without giving away the end of the movie, neither side is right or wrong in many ways. I found the whole thing interesting. I definitely recommend checking it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Beware: Children at Play

For starters this 1989 slasher is niche as niche gets,I had never even heard of it until @torstenvblog told me about it,which is how we spent New Years Eve, watching Beware: Children at Play.

The movie starts off setting up the soon to be story, a Dad and his son just vacationing in the woods, until dad steps on a bear trap and after days in the woods dies in front of his son.

The rest of the movie focuses on a sheriff and a writer trying to solve the mystery of the disappearing kids in the area. Later you will discover that the missing children are actually cannibals eating people.

The movie itself is,well it’s bad. The acting looks like something from a bunch of high school students who were forced to perform a play and had no real interest in theater. The effects even for the 1980’s not only didn’t look good some made no sense,for example a guy being chopped in half with a scythe but there being no blood on the ground or the weapon. Also fair warning, a trigger warning if you will, there is a sex scene that is basically a rape scene.

The dialogue as well is far from even decent. The movie is however greatly entertaining and I will say the ending itself is probably one of the most ballsy I have ever seen in a movie. The good news is tho you can just watch it on YouTube,which I have shared below. So please go and enjoy this abomination,and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

I Still See You Review

I Still See You is a 2018 movie based on a book that starts off with what is truly a terrifying premise to be honest. An accident at a lab, due to a Hadron Collider, causes a massive explosion. This explosion kills a ton of people and leaves behind remnants.

The remnants are basically ghosts that go through these small loops every day at the same time in the same place daily. For example one old lady crosses the same street every morning at the same time in the same way. Now however everyone can see them.

You can’t really interact with them and if you try they sort of vanish and they don’t even know you exist. They are even governed by 3 laws that have held true since the accident.

This is sort of terrifying honestly because imagine this in the real world, a mother or daughter dying and then simply showing up for breakfast daily or having to see a murder over and over again in your home.

This is also where the movie falls to pieces because the entire plot revolves around this premise falling apart magically but only for this girl and her friend while nobody notices and also those laws that have held true for a decade not being laws,but only in this situation.

The acting is fine, Bella Thorn does an admiral job doing what she can to keep this convoluted plot together. And her co-star and love interest Richard Harmon have some good chemistry. I’d like to see them together in a movie that doesn’t fall apart at the half way mark.

I didn’t hate this movie, it was a pretty average experience. I’d actually watch it again if my friend threw it on. I simply hated that what started out as a great idea that could have been terrifying so easily decided to simply reverse course and say everything they spent time establishing as true was a lie and did it in such a lazy way.

I won’t spoil the movie for you, as always I do hope you will watch it and make your own decision and come back and let me know. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hellraiser (2022)

This movie gets a lot of hell (pun intended) and honestly I don’t think it deserves it. I will go on the record and say it is probably the 2nd,if not 3rd best of the series. First off,it’s one of the few movies that still did practical effects in this day and age,so huge shout out to that. Jamie Clayton did a great job playing a difficult role, and unlike the most recent movies in the series this one had a plot and script that actually made some sense.

This time around we basically got to see what would happen if a very rich man got bored and collected the puzzle, had someone solve it and watched them die. Yes he was a very sick man, but at the same time who wouldn’t want to know what that thing did?

Obviously the story builds from there as we meet our main character Riley who’s brother has disappeared and she believes this insane puzzle is responsible,one that she now thinks may be after her (spoiler alert,it is) I truly wish I could get more into the story without absolutely destroying the movie for you all,but it completely would.

What I can say is the practical effects in this movie show why more movies need to go back to using them. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Troll (Netflix 2022)

Troll from Netflix is one of those movies you watch and leaves you wanting more and at the same time asking yourself what the person who made this thing was drinking. I mean that as a compliment by the way.

This thing starts off with a father and daughter climbing a mountain, a daughter that probably shouldn’t be doing this by the way. Once they get to the top they sit there having a discussion about myths and poems etc and she sees the faces of the trolls that drank too much and turned to stone with the sunlight.

We fast forward about 20 years and this girl is now on a dinosaur dig desperately trying to find some bones before their funding is gone and during a speech about having to have faith and deliver she finds a T-Rex skull. While all this is going on there is some digging and blasting elsewhere and a troll is awakened and gets a bit pissed and kills some people.

Of course in the small country of Norway the government tracks down a bunch of doctors,hacks a cellphone from one of those crushed people and manages to find footage and still nobody believes it’s a troll.

Like most monster movies it takes awhile before anyone will believe this thing is real, and when the big reveal comes the troll actually doesn’t look too bad. It’s about 130 feet tall for some reason and while not as fancy as the newer Godzilla vs Kong movie it looks better than many monsters we have been treated too.

This is one of the closest movies I have seen in a long time to a classic Kaiju film. It’s got a solid story,a giant monster destroying stuff and it looks good while doing it. The movie isn’t by any means fantastic,but damn if it isn’t fun. Check it out,and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jeremy Renner in Critical but Stable condition

Starting the year off badly, Jeremy Renner. According to his spokesperson and local papers Mr. Renner has a home near Mount Rose that was recently hit with a winter storm that left thousands without power. The accident involved a weather related accident while plowing snow. Not much is being released beyond he is with family and receiving excellent care. Best wishes to him and his family,and may the gaming gods bring him glory

Candyman 2021

If you never saw the original Candyman, it isn’t essential to understand or enjoy this one. Jordan Peele is a master of his craft. If you do however this movie is so much more than meets the eye initially. From how small parts of the original story are told wrong to0 misunderstood because of the time that has passed all the way to the realization to the people in the story that certain myths aren’t actually myths.

That isn’t to say the movie is perfect, many times it tries a little too hard to be deep than does silly things like the main character doesn’t bother going to the hospital for a bug bite that is engulfing his entire hand over the course of days and his obsessive girlfriend that dotes on him doesn’t seem to even notice he needs medical help. She does keep bringing up his obsessive behavior over his artwork. I found it hard to take it seriously with that going on. It would also make comments about things like gentrification, and have another character comment that the black main character complaining about gentrification is now living in the very buildings that gentrification built making those same characters uncomfortable. Small things like this are nice to see in a movie even though they aren’t put in there for me.

This is where the movie is strongest, Jordan Peele manages to make a horror movie that appeals to everyone without alienating anyone. It manages to have an impressive kill count while making you think about what is going on. It doesn’t insult your intelligence, but it isn’t trying to be an art film. It also has possibly the best cameo I have ever seen, and I won’t spoil it. So definitely enjoy Candyman as much as I did. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory and tell everyone.

Live Action Little Mermaid Trailer

The first image and trailer for the live action Little Mermaid (2023) is here. Like many people my age,I really wish they would just stop. They aren’t made for me though. It looks beautiful and while Halle Bailey has a singing voice that just pierces my head like a nail gun for some reason, she makes an absolutely beautiful Ariel. Definitely something the kids will enjoy. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Black Christmas (2019 Review)

I don’t often do this, but lately, I was hanging out with @torstenvblog watching movies and we decided to check out Black Christmas. It is a Blumhouse movie ( I know first red flag) by Sophia Takal. Sophia has made other movies like Always Shine and V/H/S, movies I’ve heard are solid and respectable movies on their in their own right. Based on this movie, however, I have no intention of ever fucking watching them.

Yes, I am about to trash this movie from here on after I say this. The actors did everything they could to save what was basically a dumpster fire that had no real chance of ever being good. The movie starts with poor Linsday leaving the library and being followed by some guy on his cell phone made out to be a total creep that magically has her phone number. It is a horror movie I get it. Get used to this though. If you see a guy in this movie, he is an evil rapist. This isn’t a joke. On some level, he is the bad guy unless he is an extra in the background. Lindy girl is now dead when the real killer turns her into a snow angel.

Get used to this too, every woman in this movie is basically a total moron except the main character. Nobody is going to believe her to listen to her about almost anything.

This is basically the last we will discuss on Linsday. This isn’t my choice, go talk to Sophia about that shit, she wrote and directed this. They will mention her towards the end but basically, everyone is happy to accept that she called her friends right before being murdered, never made it home to her family and nobody was found. She is just gone. This happens more than once.

The movie is full of weird plot holes like this, but they are not even the worst part. Every guy in the movie is made out to be a rapist (one actually is and his death is the most satisfying part of the movie) and every girl (I say this to point out when called girls one always shouts out woman) is a huge stereotype. For example, the “SUPER woke” black woman running around having statues torn down of white slave owner racist and trying to get the teacher fired for teaching English literature but not having enough women or people of color on the class syllabus. That is however basically all she does, besides badger the chick that got raped that it’s been like two years and she needs to rebuild herself already.

The ending is even more insulting because it turns out the killings were all a cult. Basically a cult of “alpha” men controlled by a statue that brings out the real tendency of men. A weak and submissive woman that knows her place would steal items so these men would know which women were causing problems and kill them. And even the two men in the movie decent guys suddenly became violent abusers that attacked women as inferior.

This movie insulted basically all of humankind, and the worst part is the movie SHOULD have been really good. The pieces were there, the concept of a cult that can make horrible men become their true selves was good, and that it could be used to help control already weak-willed women to help scum like that could have been great. Instead, we ended up with a movie that damn near offended me, and I don’t think I’ve ever been offended by anything in my life. Not only was this movie not good, but it also shouldn’t be watched by anyone with class or taste. Best wishes and may the gaming gods have mercy on our souls.

Adventureland (2009)

I think the weirdest part of this movie for me is seeing a young Ryan Reynolds. Seriously nthe dude hasn’t really aged in the last like 12 years. Did Betty White check out and toss the keys to the fountain if youth to that guy?

Anyway, back to the movie. Adventureland is about a kid that was supposed to go to Europe for the summer and when his dad gets demoted can no longer pony up the money as a graduation gift as promised.

So our college grad James (Jessie Eisenberg) decided to get a summer job to save some money and go off to college in New York to further his education, but before than he falls in love with our cute Emily (or Em as she is called played by Kristen Stewart) that has a horrible relationship with her step mom and works at adventure land to piss off her parents. Coincidentally this is also the only job James can get.

These two hit it off but we soon discover our married local handyman/musician/cool guy Mike Connell (Ryan Reynolds) kind of has this thing with cheating on his wife. By that I mean he does it a lot. This summer with Em.

Connell isn’t exactly a bad guy so much as he is a um…ok so he is a bad guy but he is friendly, but he also never exactly gives James bad advice even when he discovered he had a thing for Em despite the fact he wasn’t exactly happy with it.

Honestly while I would like to say that whole thing is a side part of the plot it really is just the plot. It isn’t a love story however, this is simply used as a focal point to explain how one summer and a change of perspective can change what you see as important and that when things change that doesn’t mean they are over.

James for example loses all the money he saves up for New York and the friend he was supposed to stay with decided to go to a different school. He soon realizes however that doesn’t mean he can’t still go to New York and work his way through school.

Each character has a sort of summer that either changes them or at least makes them examine what they are doing, and it is good for a laugh along the way and that honestly is all I ask for. I can happily recommend this movie. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.