I put off watching Dead House for what seems like forever because it just seemed like a silly movie. Thieves break into a house only to discover hidden in the basement is a house of the dead. A silly but fun movie it seemed like admittedly.
I was so damn wrong and should have avoided this damn movie for longer. First, the thieves are essentially demented rapist that film it and stop to steal money from a safe for about 10 seconds to move the plot along. It is pretty graphic, so if you are easily upset or bothered by such things don’t watch it and definitely not around children.
The zombie portion doesn’t even show up until the last 20 minutes or so and even that seemed to be there for no other reason than to give us a twist ending and some shock value. Truthfully everything done in this movie is done somewhere else and it is done better. The movie has no real redeeming qualities outside of the acting being pretty well done on all parts. If you are morbidly curious feel free to give it a watch, aside from that skip this burning heap. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Cooties is a 2014 horror-comedy about a school and some teachers that have to deal with Cooties, which are basically zombies. Sort of. You see this started with some chicken nuggets that made a little girl sick. She, in turn, bit another kid who bit another. This keeps going until everyone has cooties. Why is it called cooties? Well, it only turns people that haven’t hit puberty yet.
The movie is actually pretty funny to me, but admittedly many people won’t like it for one very big reason. All the zombies are kids, which means all the adults are beating kids to death. You will later discover in the movie it is a worldwide thing since of course, it is a huge chicken nugget factory.
None of this bothered me of course since it is just a movie and a comedy, and the love story in there wasn’t front and center but just kind of tacked on in a fun way. This is pretty much a B movie with some real celebrities in it which I am ok with it. Go check this one out on Hulu, but just know it isn’t a great movie it is just silly and tasteless. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
I am actually a pretty big fan of Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler, so them being in the same movie is pretty great to me. The story itself is pretty cool in theory. Milo (Butler) is a bounty hunter that chases down criminals that jump bail. Nicole is a reporter that has a court date for assaulting a cop that she skips out on. Happily, for Milo he is the one sent to bring her in.
In between his life of drinking and passing out Milo tracks Nicole down to a race track, where it catches Nicole and tosses her in the trunk of his car. Pretty easily done until she lights the road flare in his trunk and starts a small fire.
As the movie goes on we discover that Nicole is onto more than just a basic story and the two will, of course, start to fall back in love. It is a romantic comedy after all, and the two have amazing chemistry as costars but I never really bought them as an actual couple. The movie, however, does have some serious flaws beyond that. The parts that are funny are great, but the downtime can be boring as hell at times. I did enjoy the movie, and fans of either actor or romantic comedies will probably enjoy it but realistically it simply isn’t a very good movie and is at best average. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
This one is hard for me to review. Any long-time followers know I loved the first chapter. It was one of my favorite movies of 2017. Which is why it pains me to say Chapter 2 is a huge disappointment to me. There was no reason this thing should have been almost three hours long.
It started out so strong is the worst part. One of the biggest things I disliked about the original was how long it took to introduce everyone as adults. This time around they got it right, it took much less time an got us right to the point. The group regathers and we get down to business.
This is at least what you would think. This is when we spend what feels like hours in flashbacks as they collect tokens for the ritual they will use to defeat this evil entity. It doesn’t stop there, unlike most of the scares in the first one, this is almost all jump scares, and mostly not even good ones. You could see them coming a mile away, even the woman next to me that screamed easily at first was laughing halfway through the movie. Yes, the movie was more funny than scary for many of us in the theater.
There was also like a 5 second musical part that was really out of place. Seriously, a monster spews black stuff into a guys face, pop music kicks in, stops and that is the end of it.
The movie wasn’t all bad by the way, the laughs were good and I enjoyed the special effects. The casting was also possibly the best I have seen in a movie in years. The adults were damn near perfect for each of the children and they even really come across as old friends coming back together.
The biggest issue tho is the pacing is all off, it never should have been so long. A ton of the movie was unnecessary. I won’t mention the ending because I don’t want to spoil that, but I hated that as well. This is one you should wait for Netflix or Redbox, Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Bill Burr Paper Tiger is going to piss off a ton of people. Seriously, he makes fun of everything. From a discussion on racism with someone, his experience with being sexually assaulted at a show to first ladies and robots. He does this all in his usual brash and abrasive way. It is also hilarious. I spent the entire time laughing.
He even took a shot at Stephen Hawking for thinking he was too good to stand up and make his point. I know sounds offensive, watch the stand-up tho and you will still be offended but you will be laughing.
Truthfully his style hasn’t changed, Bill is just Bill. He is simply telling the truth about a lot of things, and others he is clearly just going for a cheap laugh. I love comedies like this because he knows someone is going to hate him after, and he isn’t saying anything inherently wrong but like twelve people are going to overreact and be pissed off more than they should be. So go, enjoy the show and laugh at those twelve people. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Ready or Not is the story of Grace (Samara Weaving) marrying the love of her life. Alex Le Domas. (Mark O’Brien) The Le Domas family, however, is the proud owners of a gaming dynasty. It started with a card game made during the civil war and now spans board games and four major league sports teams.
After a beautiful wedding the estranged from his family Alex drops a small detail he never mentioned before. At midnight the day of the wedding, the person entering the family will have to draw one card, and play the game on that card. For example, the man that married a cousin has to play old maid and someone else had to play chess. The rules are always played the way they were traditionally back in the old days of the civil war. This is important for one small reason.
The card our new friend Alex draws is Hide and Seek. So all the doors will be locked for the night, the security cameras shut off and she will hide. She wins by staying hidden until the sun comes up. Of course, she has no interest in hiding that long. Who would? So after she gets bored with hiding and Alex comes to find her and is when she finds out that the game is played because if you don’t pick a card at all you die, and Grace picked the only bad card possible. Hide and seek is the only game nobody wins and it is to the death of the bride or groom.
The movie, however, was not what I expected. From the previews, I saw I was expecting a more thriller-horror style movie and truthfully it is more of a thriller comedy. This isn’t a bad thing, it was just very unexpected to me. The movie was actually really well done and had some great laughs in it. There was never a time I was bored or wondering what was going on. I also appreciated that the story was straight to the point. We got straight to the story and while they were at it they managed to give you all the back story you needed which I feel never happens enough.
The movie is far from perfect obviously but it is a surprisingly fun movie, possibly the most surprising movie of the summer for me. So check this one out when you get the chance. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
The Blackcoat’s Daughter is a 2015 horror movie about two girls stuck over a holiday at an all-girls Catholic school with something dark and sinister. The movie starts with two girls finding out their parents aren’t going to show up. One because they are stuck in a storm, the other because she lied to her parents about what day to be there.
The movie after that jumps between the 2 girls at school and Joan, a girl traveling alone with a husband and wife that are making their way towards Bradford, where the school is, to leave flowers at the grave of their deceased daughter.
The movie is less interesting than it sounds. It takes forever to get going and even when it does it is never all that interesting to me. The ending also felt like it was tacked on and my girlfriend and I saw it coming around halfway through the movie. There wasn’t anything wrong with the acting or the effects or any of that. I personally just didn’t like the story. By all means, give it a watch, I can’t really say there was anything inherently wrong with it, I just didn’t enjoy it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
3 From Hell is the Sequel to The Devils Reject’s and picks up right where that movie left off. The opening is about the trial that takes place about a year after these three miraculously survive and is sentenced to life in prison for multiple counts of murder and numerous other things.
After this, we get bounced to 10 years into the future so we can see a documentary being made. We see how they are all doing, Captain Spaulding has lost a lot of weight for example and Baby is quite honestly frigging nuts, like totally off the deep end insane. Otis, however, is still just Otis.
Speaking of Otis, we need someone to escape to get this movie going and he will be the one to do it. After he murders a bunch of guards and other prisoners the plot to try and free Baby will come into full swing. Baby meanwhile has her own issues with a prison guard named Greta. It is safe to say the two don’t get along. Baby breaks her nose at her parole hearing and Greta tries to have Baby murdered.
This movie is getting pretty mixed reviews and honestly, I don’t see why. The story is solid and the acting is great. Baby nails her role perfectly and Otis is fantastic. I don’t want to give to much away about the story because there are a few bits I didn’t see coming and having seen it as a double feature with The Devil’s Reject made me remember how much I enjoyed the series as a whole. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
A Rob Zombie movie and a direct sequel to House of 1000 Corpses is the store of the Firefly family and their house being raided by the police. After a grand shootout, mama firefly is caught, a man is dead and Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie) and Otis (Bill Moseley) are on the run.
They quickly call their father, Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) to meet up at a motel before finding a more permanent safe haven, as they are on the run from Sheriff Wydell (William Forsythe)
The movie takes place in basically stages, as Baby and Otis need a motel room and kidnap a group and essentially torture and murder them. The scene is pretty messed up and brutal and really gets the point across about how messed up these 2 really are.
There is also a scene were Spaulding’s truck runs out of gas so he steals a car, so he punches out a woman and threatens to murder a child if when he comes back he doesn’t have a good reason as to why clowns don’t make him laugh.
The movie is honestly quite messed up and demented and contains one of my favorite movie quotes of all time. It is definitely worth checking out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory. Also, fair warning, the video below is definitely R rated.
Evil Dead 2 has been a pretty debated movie believe it or not. It all comes down to the opening of the movie. It starts with Ash back in the same cabin, with an entirely different group of people. Found the same book, but the reading happened in a different place. This has lead to the debate of is it a remake or a sequel?
The answer is actually quite interesting. The short answer, by the way, a remake and sequel simultaneously. See as it turns out they couldn’t get the rights to their own movie. The way around this was when they made Evil Dead 2 they opened with a rehash of the last movie, and changed it. The same general idea, different actors (except Bruce still plays Ash)
Interestingly enough they did it in such a way that if you skip that intro and pick up where the first movie left off and just play Evil Dead 2 from where the entity hits Ash at the end of Evil Dead (1981) it actually makes perfect sense.
This one, however, is a bit different. It starts with Ash being possessed by an evil as the sun comes up, which pushes it away. Meanwhile, we discover that the owners of this cabin are about to have visitors that found more of the book of the dead. These pages are being brought to the cabin so they can be read by the owner that Ash discovered mysteriously disappeared.
Like the first movie the charm of this cult classic is that the effects, story, and acting are all about as cheesy as they come. They aren’t cheesy in a bad way tho, the whole thing is entertaining. The best part is Bruce Campbell however, he truly seems to love the role and his fans.
As the movie goes on and everyone meets up at the cabin, we discover the older couple is trapped in the basement, dead and possessed by evil. This evil wants to kill everyone in the cabin and take their souls, while Ash is determined to survive and the new pages of the book are the way to do this. I won’t spoil the ending but I will encourage you all to see it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.