Cocaine Bear (2023)

Cocaine Bear is a 2023 movie that is yes, legitimately based on a true story, with quite a few liberties taken. For example the part about someone tossing massive amounts of coke out of a plane and a bear getting into it is absolutely true, there is even a museum in Lexington Kentucky where you can go see the bear they found in the woods that ate about 15 million dollars in that beautiful white stuff.

Now on to the movie, which quite honestly is a big old pile of what the fuck did Elizabeth Banks just make. I mean that in the best way possible. This movie is gory, it is funny it has some great acting for a movie that does absolutely nothing to take itself seriously. The bear also looks pretty good for a pretty low budget movie.

The story itself is actually very simple, a plane is going down so a man tosses duffle bags of coke off the plane. He dies when his parachute doesn’t open so a cop that knows what is going on rushed to find the drugs. The cartel that owns the drugs also wants to find the millions in drugs. Unfortunately a young girl and her male friend also skip school to go paint a waterfall after the mother breaks a promise to go paint the before mentioned waterfall.

As the name of the movie implies,a bear eats bags of coke and becomes all coked up and decides to kill everyone in his way of, you guessed it, eating more coke that it is now addicted too.

Small things you get to enjoy is a bear doing a line of coke off a severed leg if you pay attention. A drug dealer constantly complaining about his favorite jersey getting messed up (but not his missing fingers) and possibly the last movie appearance of the late great Ray Liotta. (He did finish filming numerous projects before his death but not all were movies)

The movie is a ton of fun,I won’t say it is a good movie, but God damn it was one of the most fun movies I have seen in years.

Free Guy (Review)

Free guy is of course a Ryan Reynolds movie, and I am a sucker for his movies. Shawn Levy as a director was great and with co-stars Jodie Comer and Joe Keery this was bound to be a great movie. Add to that a simple yet intriguing concept of what would happen if the NPC’s in the games we love could just go and decide to do whatever they wanted, and you get a recipe for, well something.

Free Guy Sees Molotov Girl (Jodie Comer) attempts to find the code her and Keys (Joe Keery) made and later sold to Antwan (Taika Waititi) and prove he illegally used it to create his game. At the same time, Guy (Ryan Reynolds) a simple Bank teller decides there has to be more to his life than getting robbed and saying his catchphrase “don’t have a good day, have a great day” One day after seeing the in-game avatar of Molotov girl he decides he wants to be the hero and confronts the bank robber, who also happens to be a real-life player of this open world game.

This will set off a chain reaction that leads to self-discovery and love for Guy, who people don’t realize isn’t a player character that has hacked an NPC skin. He is also the person that levels up the fastest in the history of this game, and he does so by being the good guy. In a world filled with crime he attempts to prevent it but stopping bank robberies, wanton murders, and destruction, and the gaming gods know what else.

Added to this the movie is full of great cameos I won’t spoil for you, just keep an eye out for not only people you know, listen to voices. There was at least one I wasn’t sure of until I wrote this and looked it up. The movie is far from perfect, but it’s the perfect amount of fun. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

How I Met Your Father Impressions

How I Met Your Father is a spin off of one of my favorite shows of all time, How I Met Your Mother. So clearly going into this I had low expectations it would be something I enjoy but very high hopes.

It’s a fine line to walk honestly, you need enough of a connection to make people coming back to say hey this is familiar enough to make me want to watch but new enough so they don’t say hey this is a rip off cash grab.

You also need it to be just be a copy and paste because let’s be honest here, if How I Met Your Mother came out in 2022, it would have gotten destroyed. It’s been off the air since 2014 and already Barney Stinson would probably be canceled as a rapist and Robin as being abusive to Ted. And don’t even get me started on Marshal and Lily. Even towards the end the show was acknowledging how messed up the group was.

Honestly that was half the charm of the original and much of that is missing here. Most of us knew a toned down version of all the people from HIMYM. One of the characters from HIMYF however is a very rich British guy (Charlie) that ran away to be with another character ( Valentina) and a third (Sid) legitimately owns the bar they all hang out at.

The main character,Sophie, (Hillary Duff) is equally as unrelatable, while she struggles with dating in the world of Tinder and hangs out with her friends she mostly whines about turning 30 and not knowing what to do with her life, even tho she already has a career.

That’s not to say the show isn’t entertaining, the show is actually quite entertaining. It has it’s laughs and I enjoy that the first episode they out right tell you that’s how she met the father even tho they never tell you which character it is. Some of the characters also live in the same apartment from the original that they got off an older married couple (clearly meaning Lily and Marshal)

The show is by no means bad, it just lacks much of the character of the original. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Thoughts on Peacemaker

Like most people, I had no idea who Peacemaker was until John Cena was chosen to play the part. Honestly when it comes to the comic version I still know almost nothing about him. Having looked him up he doesn’t have any super powers and is basically just a guy that is insanely skilled and talented. In fact one iteration has him as a diplomat that wants peace so much he starts just killing people.

That brings us to the show, where Peacemaker aka the guy with the best opening in comic book show and movie history possibly is pretty much a dark comedy. His best friend is an eagle, names Eagly because why would a guy like Peacemaker have a sense of humor. He is being used by Amanda Waller once again this time for Project Butterfly.

I won’t go to deep into the story so I don’t spoil it on you guys though I honestly love this show. I didn’t expect that I would but seeing John Cena dance around in his underwear after finally getting laid after being in jail for years only to almost get killed and steal important objects, which he decided we’re vinyl albums is amazing.

His watching his friendship with fellow characters Harcourt (Jennifer Holland) and especially Adebayo (Danielle Brooks) is especially satisfying as all the characters show real growth and change as the season goes on.

If you haven’t started watching this yet, now is the time to catch up. Best wishes and may the gaming gods being you glory.

Ghost Of Girlfriends Past (2009)

I have always liked Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaughey, and the story of Ebenezer Scrooge is classic. So what would happen if instead of being a cheap rich man, he was a womanizing playboy that just lived to take photos of half-naked women, get drunk and get laid? Well truthfully we will never know, but we can find out what happens to Connor Mead (Matthew)

See this is Connors’s story, and that is basically it. We will see how he treats his female assistant, break up with his three girlfriends in a conference call in front of a singer he is fooling around with that he picked up at a photoshoot then off to his brother’s wedding where his dead uncle he learned this all from will tell him to expect a visit from three ghosts.

The ghost are of course from his past, his present, and his future. They will show him all the ways he is and was messing and what will happen if he doesn’t change his ways. This probably sounds just like a Christmas movie, tho this one is a bit funnier. That being said while the movie is funny and entertaining it isn’t a great movie. While the concept is interesting I feel like it could have been done better rather than just being one massive stereotype about a guy falling for the girl next door. So check it out if you have the time, the movie is enjoyable, but not life-changing. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Letterkenny (Season 8)

Here we are again, Letterkenny Season 8. Seriously I can’t quit this damn show. It just does it for me and makes me laugh. From the hockey players and their chirping to Wayne, Dan, and Daryl just drinking beer talking about random stuff, like how you could possibly masturbate in them of December for each date. (Once on the first twice on the 2nd and so on) and yes that is a real example.

That I feel is what makes the show so great, it is simplistic and fun and it deals with things we all deal with while at the same time being so outrageous and out there that it is truly comedic at the same time.

The show honestly is pretty much what it has always been, and if you loved the other seasons you will love this one. So go check it out, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Failure To Launch (2006)

Some of you may have noticed I am kind of a sucker for romantic comedies. So when I was flipping through Hulu and saw this I needed to check this one out again for old times sake. Last time I saw it I was kind of hammered hanging out with my now ex-wife and now married with two kids and living out of state best friend. So you can see, things have changed quite a bit for the old Savior in the last 13 years. In fact, I wasn’t even Savior yet. I was just a dude working at Gamestop.

Anyway, on to the movie, Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) is a 35-year-old man that lives at home and sells boats for a living. He sells boats and makes pretty good money. He just won’t move out. His parents eventually decide to hire professional help. Enter Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker). Paula specializes in getting men like this to move out.

This goes as you would think it does. After a meet-cute is set up, and a few dates they both start to fall for each other. This is where Tripp decides to end things and take Paula home to find out he lives at home with mom and dad. When Paula doesn’t freak out because of course she already knows. This upsets his parents because they know this is his break up move.

A bit later of course in true romantic comedy fashion, she gets caught by one of his friends and it gets back to him and they stop speaking. They realize how much they love each other and their friends and family put them back together. We all know from the beginning this is how these movies end. The thing is how was the journey to get to this point. The journey is funny, entertaining and the chemistry with the cast just works from top to bottom. There is no real reason not to watch this one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Anna And The Apocalypse (2017)

Anna and the Apocalypse is a weird movie. I went into it thinking it was just a Christmas horror comedy and ended up watching a musical. At first, this annoyed me but admittedly the songs are kind of catchy.

The story is about a girl, Anna of course, and her high school friends just going about their lives as normal. Then one morning, boom zombie apocalypse. They will have to fight their way through town and meet up at a bowling alley then to the local high school in order to be escorted to safety.

The story is pretty basically honestly, but as a musical, the story is there to just give them a reason to sing and it serves its purpose well. The songs are catchy and if you are into musicals (admittedly I am not) are easy to sing along with.

The movie is fun and you should absolutely check it out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cooties (2014)

Cooties is a 2014 horror-comedy about a school and some teachers that have to deal with Cooties, which are basically zombies. Sort of. You see this started with some chicken nuggets that made a little girl sick. She, in turn, bit another kid who bit another. This keeps going until everyone has cooties. Why is it called cooties? Well, it only turns people that haven’t hit puberty yet.

The movie is actually pretty funny to me, but admittedly many people won’t like it for one very big reason. All the zombies are kids, which means all the adults are beating kids to death. You will later discover in the movie it is a worldwide thing since of course, it is a huge chicken nugget factory.

None of this bothered me of course since it is just a movie and a comedy, and the love story in there wasn’t front and center but just kind of tacked on in a fun way. This is pretty much a B movie with some real celebrities in it which I am ok with it. Go check this one out on Hulu, but just know it isn’t a great movie it is just silly and tasteless. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Bounty Hunter

I am actually a pretty big fan of Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler, so them being in the same movie is pretty great to me. The story itself is pretty cool in theory. Milo (Butler) is a bounty hunter that chases down criminals that jump bail. Nicole is a reporter that has a court date for assaulting a cop that she skips out on. Happily, for Milo he is the one sent to bring her in.

In between his life of drinking and passing out Milo tracks Nicole down to a race track, where it catches Nicole and tosses her in the trunk of his car. Pretty easily done until she lights the road flare in his trunk and starts a small fire.

As the movie goes on we discover that Nicole is onto more than just a basic story and the two will, of course, start to fall back in love. It is a romantic comedy after all, and the two have amazing chemistry as costars but I never really bought them as an actual couple. The movie, however, does have some serious flaws beyond that. The parts that are funny are great, but the downtime can be boring as hell at times. I did enjoy the movie, and fans of either actor or romantic comedies will probably enjoy it but realistically it simply isn’t a very good movie and is at best average. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.