Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Avengers

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A huge complaint I hear from many a nerd about comic books is the age old question: where to begin? With multiple story arcs, renditions, and multiverses it becomes pretty hard for new fans to pick up. I admit, I wasn’t a fan of the Guardians, let alone knew who the hell they were until I read this, a year before Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)came out in theaters. My world was rocked…

The book starts with a quick origin of Peter Quill aka Star-Lord and how his mother was assassinated by aliens that were hunting him down because of his absent, royal father J-son. Years later, Quill has grown to be a hero, scoundrel, and leader of the famous and infamous Guardians of the Galaxy. One day while trying to get in a alien babe’s pants, his father approaches him after years of fighting against him with a warning- stay away from Earth. J-son, along with a secret galactic coalition consisting of the All-mother of Asgard, the Brood, The Badoon, and the Gladiator who all deem the heroes and mutants of Earth have become a threat to the universe at large and have quarantined the planet. The Guardians jump in to piss off there old foe, but do there plans ever go as planned, even when helped by the one and only invincible Iron Man?

For newcomers to comics in general, I can definitely recommend this book. It’s a great introduction to Star-Lord, Gamora,  Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Raccoon, and Groot as well as cool cameo by Iron Man. The characters are fun and there are some cool big scale fights. I like the contrast of Quills and J-son is a fair villain to start. It’s the first volume of a great run, part of which is Guardians of the Galaxy/ All New X Men: The Trial of Jean Grey  which is partially why I’m reviewing it now with Dark Phoenix in theaters but I do recommend it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

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The Oath (2018)

The Oath is a pretty simple of a movie concept. The United States government has decided to ask every citizen to sign a loyalty oath. This of course isn’t mandatory, tho there are benefits to it. There is also time to decide, the day after Thanksgiving to be exact, Black Friday.

This movie does a good job showing how easy it is to divide people, there are even a couple scenes of violence in the streets, fighting among  family members. Every so often there will be news playing in the background that does an admirable job showing how many Republicans and Democrats will simply argue or make stuff up to defend a position they themselves don’t even understand to begin with or to feel superior.

Throughout the movie there are also rumors of government officials intimidates and kidnapping people that don’t sign the oath or protest its very existence. The whole thing is very well done honestly and you can actually feel the apprehension it causes and see where the real world influences how they made the movie. You know people just like this, maybe they are friends of yours that you hang out with but avoid political talk or have talked to people like this online.

Here is the issue, the movie is a comedy. The comedy aspect is where it falls a bit flat. They took what could have been an amazing thriller or even horror movie an failed to make it all that funny but also ruined the more tense moments of the movie. Worse, what should have been a spectacular ending to really accentuate the seriousness of the situation was then met with what felt like a total cop out to simply end the movie without ever solving anything. I won’t say the movie was bad as I did enjoy it, but what should have been an amazing movie with great social commentary basically ended up simply as an okay movie not worth watching twice. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Letterkenny Season 2

Letterkenny season 2 did nothing to change my mind about this show being weird as hell and making no real sense. Seriously the show is mostly people standing around insulting each other in weird one liners. This may sound insulting or bad, but it isn’t a complaint.

The show is quite honestly mindless fun. It really doesn’t serve much of a point, and each episode is mostly just discussing some random small town event, like ice fishing or the sale of cigarettes from the local natives. The fighting for Wayne from season one is still there as well, which is admittedly also kind of intriguing. It also serves no purpose and mostly isn’t even a plot point, it is just tossed in there for entertainment.

I’m not saying any of this to discourage anyone from watching by the way, in fact I think you should all check it out. I have since moved on to season 3 and I am still having a  good laugh watching. So go, check it out and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Island of Terror

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This goes out to my parents, Duke and Marsha, who watched this movie all the time when I was a kid amongst dozens of others. This stuck out to me for a variety of reasons I’ll get to at the very end.

Essentially we begin with an instance of man playing god, creating a strange series of lifeforms that could best be called “turtles”. These turtles are in fact giant, lumpy creatures that kill with long stinger-ed tentacles, liquefying the victim’s bones and fluid and sucking them dry ( think early Cell from DBZ). A pair of scientists are trying to track down the creatures origin while trying to survive the growing infestation…

For a early monster monster movie, it ain’t bad for it’s time. The acting is solid if not a bit too serious for a movie like this. The music ranges from solid to mildly corny. There are some decently creepy environments and atmosphere. What I will always remember about this movie are the “turtles”. They look goofy and are ludicrously slow; I laughed my ass every time they’d get someone because you know there would be no way in hell these things would kill anyone in real life. But, what I remember most, and I’m not exaggerating here, I’m pretty sure they bleed and gush raw Campell’s Chicken Noodle soup. Originally, if I’m correct this movie was in black and white where they may have been able to get away with it, but color it’s hilarious. In the end it’s not a bad old sci fi horror movie that cn worth some laughs. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Tag (2018)

Tag is the movie of a group of friends that played the same game of tag for about thirty years and is actually based on a true story. There are some pretty big differences that I will get into later, and some outlandish things in the movie that are confirmed based off real life that you will even see the real video of in the end credits. The movie, however, takes place in the month of May, as their friend Jerry (Jeremy Renner) gets married and decides after this year he is retiring. The problem is he has never been tagged, and his friends can not allow this. This year they pull out all the stops to tag him, for example, Hogan (Ed Helms) goes to the mall and dresses as an old lady in an attempt to tag him. This is is based off a tag that really happened for the record. Another attempt was when they all broke into Jerry’s house in an attempt to tag him, which in real life also happened. It is worth noting in the real story there is no Jeremy person that was never tagged and these plans worked unlike in the movie.

The movie is pretty amazing honestly and is worth watching but having looked up the real story to write this I have to say while the movie does it justice, the true story is even better. It is worth watching tho without a doubt.

Some of the differences tho are the real story is 10 friends, not the 5 from the movie and while the movie is based on the story the characters really are not and many things are tossed in for effect tho some things, legitimately happened. Some examples are in the movie they discuss people being tagged at a funeral or giving birth. These did happen in real life, and these guys really did travel all around the country to play the game. Oh, and while the movie takes place in May, the real guys played in February and there really was a written agreement. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mr B Gone

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Clive Barker, over the past decade I’ve been trying to better myself as a writer, has been something of a inspiration to me. While his work I find pretty varied in hits and misses, he is a master of working gruesome details and making the macabre almost beautiful and creative. Since The Hellbound Heart I haven’t read a full book by him, sticking with short stories like those found in Books of Blood (vol 1) , until I read this strange oddity called Mr. B Gone…

Jakabok Botch is a pathetic demon residing in hell with his family. Beaten, hated, and scarred by them, everything changes when he kills his father as he’s pulled to Earth circa the 1400’s. After running from his captors, he sets off on a journey of menace and bloodshed amongst the weak and corrupt disguising himself as a burned man. His only partner in mischief is Quitoon, a lover, a friend, and enemy. Quitoon, fascinated by the inventions of man, is excited by a new invention that will change the world: the printing press…

After finishing the book, I really didn’t know what to think. I like the overall narrative and thought the story itself was pretty inventive. There are some great gore moments and some good dark humor moments. I didn’t like Mr B as a main character and the meta nature of the book itself irked the hell out of me. I’ve never liked stories where the narrator talks directly to the audience so that made the story slog longer for me than it should have; I will say I had to chuckle for the reasoning behind it revealed at the end. While not my favorite by Barker, Mr B Gone should be checked out if you like horror meta fiction but avoided if you want a straight narrative. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Final Destination 3

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It’s been a while since I dug into the Final Destination series and why not resume with the entry that was originally in 3D. From the mid to late 2000’s, 3D made a decent comeback for one reason or another and with Death’s wacky antics, 3D was perfect.

Wendy and a group of her friends and classmates are at a carnival before graduation. Wendy is taking pictures of everyone having fun and all is well. Finally they decide to hop on an intense roller coaster. Wendy has a vision of how things will go horribly wrong and after  getting kicked off the roller coaster, they come to find out it was true. Death is coming for the survivors but can the photographs she took help save them?

Final Destination 3 is pretty much the same formula as the first and Final Destination 2 . Much like the others, it’s not going to scare anymore. You are basically coming for goofy deaths and over the top characters and it delivers. Whether it’s watching 2 Paris Hilton wannabes getting cooked in a tanning bed or getting crushed by a falling sign after a villain speech. I can’t say I liked any of the characters and without Tony Todd’s cameo, there was 0 dread. You can’t really notice the 3D except for a few brief moments in the roller coaster sequence. In the end it’s a forgettable sequel but is fairly humorous. May the gaming gods bring you glory.