Category: comedy

Cocaine Bear (2023)

Cocaine Bear is a 2023 movie that is yes, legitimately based on a true story, with quite a few liberties taken. For example the part about someone tossing massive amounts of coke out of a plane and a bear getting into it is absolutely true, there is even a museum in Lexington Kentucky where you can go see the bear they found in the woods that ate about 15 million dollars in that beautiful white stuff.

Now on to the movie, which quite honestly is a big old pile of what the fuck did Elizabeth Banks just make. I mean that in the best way possible. This movie is gory, it is funny it has some great acting for a movie that does absolutely nothing to take itself seriously. The bear also looks pretty good for a pretty low budget movie.

The story itself is actually very simple, a plane is going down so a man tosses duffle bags of coke off the plane. He dies when his parachute doesn’t open so a cop that knows what is going on rushed to find the drugs. The cartel that owns the drugs also wants to find the millions in drugs. Unfortunately a young girl and her male friend also skip school to go paint a waterfall after the mother breaks a promise to go paint the before mentioned waterfall.

As the name of the movie implies,a bear eats bags of coke and becomes all coked up and decides to kill everyone in his way of, you guessed it, eating more coke that it is now addicted too.

Small things you get to enjoy is a bear doing a line of coke off a severed leg if you pay attention. A drug dealer constantly complaining about his favorite jersey getting messed up (but not his missing fingers) and possibly the last movie appearance of the late great Ray Liotta. (He did finish filming numerous projects before his death but not all were movies)

The movie is a ton of fun,I won’t say it is a good movie, but God damn it was one of the most fun movies I have seen in years.

Free Guy (Review)

Free guy is of course a Ryan Reynolds movie, and I am a sucker for his movies. Shawn Levy as a director was great and with co-stars Jodie Comer and Joe Keery this was bound to be a great movie. Add to that a simple yet intriguing concept of what would happen if the NPC’s in the games we love could just go and decide to do whatever they wanted, and you get a recipe for, well something.

Free Guy Sees Molotov Girl (Jodie Comer) attempts to find the code her and Keys (Joe Keery) made and later sold to Antwan (Taika Waititi) and prove he illegally used it to create his game. At the same time, Guy (Ryan Reynolds) a simple Bank teller decides there has to be more to his life than getting robbed and saying his catchphrase “don’t have a good day, have a great day” One day after seeing the in-game avatar of Molotov girl he decides he wants to be the hero and confronts the bank robber, who also happens to be a real-life player of this open world game.

This will set off a chain reaction that leads to self-discovery and love for Guy, who people don’t realize isn’t a player character that has hacked an NPC skin. He is also the person that levels up the fastest in the history of this game, and he does so by being the good guy. In a world filled with crime he attempts to prevent it but stopping bank robberies, wanton murders, and destruction, and the gaming gods know what else.

Added to this the movie is full of great cameos I won’t spoil for you, just keep an eye out for not only people you know, listen to voices. There was at least one I wasn’t sure of until I wrote this and looked it up. The movie is far from perfect, but it’s the perfect amount of fun. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

That 90’s Show Netflix Review

That 90’s show recently released on Netflix and as a huge fan of That 70’s show (and probably one of the 6 people on earth that enjoyed That 80’s Show) I was quite excited to see it. Admittedly I did not have much hope for it. The main cast was basically making cameos, Leia, Erik and Donna’s daughter, was essentially crashing with Red and Kitty and the new group of friends did not seem promising. In fact I watched it just to see Red and Kitty.

In fact I will die on the hill that Red and Kitty Foreman are the best part of That 90’s show,and possibly That 70’s show. This 10 episode run though was far better than I expected. They didn’t try to recapture the magic in a bottle from the original series, in fact if you pay attention it is very clear the original Point Place crew did not remain friends. I won’t go into details, but Kelsos son and Leia meet for the first time as the summer starts.

As the summer starts however and Leia is visiting you can tell there are some issues between Leia and Erik, not too different from Red and Erik despite the fact Erik is actually trying. She meets Gwen, the girl that lives next door where Donna used to live. They hit it off and after a couple days Leia wants to spend the summer, something Kitty is excited for,much to Reds dismay.

I won’t go on from here because I don’t want to spoil anything but we do get to see a new side of Red with this group of kids. A softer side in a way. This isn’t to say he isn’t the hard ass we know and love,but there are moments where you can see Red’s job as father figure is done and he embraces his role as grandfather. The show isn’t perfect, but in a lot of ways it gave me exactly what I wanted. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Thor: Love and Thunder

So Thor, the loveable God of Thunder, has been through so much over his MCU journey and is now trying to find himself again. He thought hanging out with the Guardians of the Galaxy and losing all the weight would help but he finds himself in a rut until he learns of a new foe on the horizon out to slay every god. Along with Korg and Valkyrie, he finds himself joined by two old friends he never expected to see again, his ex girlfriend Jane Foster wielding a recontructed Mjolnir….

So remember how Thor: Ragnarok was a perfect mix of feels, laughs, and action? You ever wondered what that mix would look like gone horribly wrong? I present you: Love and Thunder. This movie is painfully unfunny. It tries shoving cringy jokes down your throat at breakneck speeds, 9/10 not landing, while also trying to be really dark and serious when it comes to Jane’s terminal cancer and Gorr’s rage. Christian Bale tried his ass off nd honestly, he was my favorite part of the movie although they really bitched Gorr down; I spent a lot of this movie wanting to hug Bale for giving it his all and going down with this dumpster fire. Everyone else is alright except Russel Crowe as Zeus, who was really miscast. The CGI is just ugly and the soundtrack becomes annoying really quick. Speaking of annoying, FUCK those god-forsaken goats. The fights are meh and the ending is just- sure, sure movie. This may be one of the shortest MCU flicks but holy crap it dragged. I tie Thor 4 with Black Widow as worst MCU film so far; those that complained about Thor: The Dark World , well, it just got a thousand times better. Taika Waitti is a talented director; I’m still in love with JoJo Rabbit and Ragnarok was really awesome so I’m hoping this was just a really bad fluke. Regardless, just skip this disaster. May the gaming gods bring you glory, or at the very least kill those annoying ass goats.

Loki, season 1

So where does the God of Mischief go with one of the most powerful artifacts in the known universe? Well, not very far because shortly after the events of Avengers: Endgame, he’s easily captured by the TVA, an organization designed to keep the flow of time and events on track in every timeline. Moebius, the agent in charge of Loki’s case, presents him a deal- help the TVA track down a dangerous variant running amok through the multiverse and maybe not go extinct. Things may not be all that they seem as Loki comes face to face with Sylvie, his female counterpart with a bloodlust for the TVA that could bring darkness across time and reality…

Ok, first things first, I love Hiddleston as Loki. I always have and always will. But I seriously think this six-episode series could have been condensed better into a two-hour movie. I fell asleep twice during my run of the show. It does pick up in the last couple of episodes, especially the finale, but holy shit to get there is an utter slog. I will say I loved Jonathan Majors as He Who Remains and I’m now excited for Kang the Conquer’s debut after the end. The acting is solid, the score is good with good effects but the pacing murders all of the good. In the end, you could honestly find the best part of this series on Youtube and I don’t think you’d be missing much. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Thor: Love and Thunder trailer 2

So here we have a pretty damn good look at Thor 4 and honestly, for me, I’m liking Christian Bale’s Gorr the God Butcher as my favorite part. I forgot how intense he could be and I like how eerie he comes off. Besides him, I can’t help feeling like I’m watching the trailer for yet another MCU movie. Either way, I’m sure it’ll be a decent movie. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated

Are ya ready kids? Bikini Bottom has been invaded by an army of robots (that totally didn’t come from the Chum Bucket, which is mysteriously locked down.) It’s up to our favorite yellow fry cook and his friends to save the undersea town from the machines that are wreaking havoc.

First, I just got to say I’m currently 31 years old and I still love Spongebob. This game stole my life for a couple weeks. Ultimately, the game is a solid platformer from a bygone era (PS2). Each character offers a different playstyle with different abilities; Sandy was my favorite and Patrick made me want to scream. The game is pretty simple, complete puzzles and get Golden Spatulas to open the next area. While this is the Rehydrated edition, you can tell this is still an old game with some old game problems- the NPCs are stiff, everyone constantly repeats their limited dialogue over and over again, and some of the more ambitious parts are frustrating to get through. Not all the voice actors returned which can be jarring to older fans. In the end, it’s a solid game, better for younger kids but not bad for grown-ups who want a little childhood nostalgia. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness

“Are you happy, Stephen?” is the question haunting the master of the mystic arts after the Snap. People have died because of his actions in allowing Thanos to succeed for the greater good, and lives are in disarray. Christine has moved on, Wong is the new Sorcerer Supreme and he can’t help but feel the guilt leading to Thanos’s defeat. During Christine’s wedding, Strange and Wong rush to face to face a demonic entity chasing after a teenage girl, America Chavez. America, born with an alarming gift allowing her to openly travel between the Multiverse is on the run from a demonic force wanting her powers. Strange turns to the most powerful magic user on the planet for aid, an Avenger, only to find himself face to face against the broken, vengeful Scarlet Witch that will do anything to get her children back, even if that means destroying the Multiverse to do so. Can the former Sorcerer Supreme stop the fallen Avenger?

Holy Crap, this movie is a trip. I loved it but I also love Dr. Strange and Scarlet Witch; this is totally a Marvel nerd movie. There’s a lot going on but I never found it hard to follow. There is a lot of ambiguity and plenty of room to speculate which I appreciated. The movie has a shit ton of disturbing, frightening scenes and a hell of a lot of fan service for fans of Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn without skipping on being a badass superhero flick. Elizabeth Olsen absolutely steals the show as Scarlet Witch, becoming a tragic villain after the fallout from Wandavision . Honestly, the whole cast was damn good and a lot of the cameos, 2 of which I got giddy for, I hope make a return in the MCU. The visuals were insanely epic and beautiful and frightening. With all the good, I am going to say again, that this movie is going to be a cluster if you aren’t up to date on the MCU or have a foreknowledge of the comics; this is NOT a movie to shut your brain off to. In the end, Dr. Strange 2 was a damn good time and a superior sequel I recommend checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law reveal trailer

Oh dear…besides Ms. Marvel, I’d heard nightmare stories on the development here. I think comic She-Hulk kicks ass; this iteration made me cringe. She-Hulk herself looks really off and the CGI isn’t really convincing. I’m glad to see Tim Roth back as Abomination but that’s kind of the best I got here. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Boys, season 3 trailer

I really want to sit down and get into the Boys but I never really got a chance to. I can say it season 3 looks really cool. I love Jansen Ackles as Soldier Boy. Plus I always loved Karl Urban so I’m happy to see him again. I think it’ll be a cool season. May the gaming gods bring you glory.