The Chronicles Of Quiver Dick

So I follow a guy on Twitter named CrankageGames that makes some games and post some funny stuff. So I figured he is a good guy and I would buy one to check out and this name caught my attention. The Chronicles Of Quiver Dick so, I headed over to Steam and picked it up.

A few things people should know going in, the game is relatively short. Considering the game cost $2.99 if you were expecting a 30-hour adventure you had expectations that were far too high. Another thing is the game is made with RPG Maker, MV if I am correct. I use the program myself but to nowhere near as much skill. That is the main point here, RPG Maker games get a bad rep for being horrible games which is kind of fair, for every good one out there, there are some that seem like broken cash grabs. This is not the case here. Much of the assets used and music used are not stock RPG maker. The characters are crafted not lazily thrown together.

All of that means nothing if the story isn’t well written or good. Well assuming you don’t mind dick jokes and profanity, you are in for a good time. The story is a parody of How I Met Your Mother, but Old man Dick and Young man Dick will spend plenty of time talking to each other, in fact, their banter may be the best part of the game. I won’t go into any more detail because I don’t want to spoil the story or best parts but about 10 minutes into the game I had decided it was already worth the 3 bucks I spent on it.

The combat is also nice. Simple turn-based battles. There are no random encounters to try to pump up the amount of time you are playing, simply characters you fight at specific spots most of which are challenging but fair. Even here tho there is plenty of humor to be found.

At the end of the day this game is entertaining and funny, from start to finish the key goal was obviously to make the player laugh, and it succeeds nicely with plenty of pop culture reference and even some of the Patreon members seem to have gotten a shout out in game. This one should not be missed, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.


Resident Evil 2 Demo

30 minutes isn’t a ton of time to play a demo, but it is more than enough to get a feel for what this game will be. What it will be is a Resident Evil game. Having played the Dreamcast version of the game and not this demo I can honestly say I am looking forward to it. From the who the hell thought of these puzzles to the for the love of god where the hell did all my ammo go, the game is classic Resident Evil. At least the first 30 minutes are. I found the get to a door in the entry was all the way up on the upper floor for example.

Graphically the game looks amazing, the pictures in this I snapped in the game on my PS4 pro.

All in all the demo is pretty solid, tho, while I understand the limiting the demo time as opposed to a checkpoint, was rather annoying. It would have been nice to have been able to take my time and just look around. Regardless, go have fun with it and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Conan Exiles (PS4)

I picked up Conan Exiles for the low price of my friend wanted someone to play with and bought it for me, so this entire venture was no risk for me. This is good because honestly, this game is the quintessential example of mixed feelings. This will become clear on why soon enough, so I will do something I rarely do. I will break this down very strictly into things I like and things I don’t.

To start, the things I like. The map is an impressive size and is full of things to do. You can explore, kill monsters and animals, mine various resources and build massive buildings or small little huts. The weapon selection is impressive as well, swords, axes, spears, throwing axes and daggers. Probably more I just forgot to mention. You have all kinds of armors and shields to go along with them, and they have various looks and styles.

You also get to choose your own religion to follow, each god with their own preferred method of worship, even a cannibal. One also does nothing for you really, simply doesn’t much care about any of you. Graphically the game is nice as well. Another great thing is that you can adjust almost any option, from experience gained to how much materials you will get from mining. And none of it messes with trophies.

Now for what I don’t like. Also, the things I don’t like, I REALLY do not like. For starters, the glitches are numerous. There is such an insane amount of lag during online multiplayer with friends. To the point, it was almost unplayable at times. I have been attacked by invisible creatures that would later show up, had entire fights with creatures I could not damage that would suddenly drop dead. Mining rocks and ores that simply wouldn’t do anything and I would need to move along only to return to the same spot 10 seconds later and be just fine.

The crafting menu is also a mess, finding anything is a pain, selecting feats is annoying and many times won’t even register until you back out and reenter the menus. Also, many times when killing things and trying to harvest them it simply didn’t work, at all.

All in all the game is one of the best survival games on PS4, but I imagine it is lacking quite a bit of content on PC. The game is also rather buggy and certainly not worth the full price tag. However, if you can pick it up for around $25, its worth the buy. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Of mice and men

of mice and men

So to start the year 2019, let’s begin with a classic: Of Mice and Men, a story most American kids nowadays are forced to read in middle school or high school English class much like Animal Farm and Lord of the flies (usually if you got a cool teacher or were an honor student).

Of Mice and Men follows two migrant workers and traveling partners and companions making there way to a much needed job during the depression. Life isn’t easy for George, the thoughtful and ill tempered of the two, who just wishes he can live a life less hard, put some roots down- but life with Lenny isn’t so easy. Lenny is a gentile giant with the mind of a child and some pretty harsh strength to match. Lenny’s curious and cumbersome nature makes life harder in a hard time but a dream George keeps telling Lenny keeps them afloat- a dream of a home and stability, and rabbits…but it’s with that sad truth George realizes some dreams are only that as he faces the hardest choice of his life after trouble comes for the last time…

Before I go onto my final verdict, I’m stating this now: this book is not for everyone. 11 year old Torsten though this book was long, drawn out and boring as shit. 25 year old Torsten found it a quick read that nearly brought a tear to his eye. It is slow paced, despite the actual minuscule size of the book but damn it hits you in the feels by the end. It is better a second time around because the foreshadowing becomes rather ominous and foreboding which I really liked and the ultimate tragedy hits harder. Overall I can’t recommend this book to everyone but if you want a great tragedy, definitely give this short but powerful book a go. May the gaming gods let you pet the rabbits…

Fallen Legion: Flames Of Rebellion

Fallen Legion: Flames of Rebellion is an action RPG, the story of magic and a grimoire, and an entire world created to tell a story. Both sides of the story technically, in two separate games.

You start out at a war and the death of an emperor. Much of how the world works is actually hidden in the menus and is easy to find. It isn’t long before you find out The kings’ daughter Octavia will take over and a talking grimoire will help. Tho it does feed on souls.

The issue is while the game looks good, the gameplay itself is rather boring. You will mostly be mashing X, Square or circle and occasionally cast a spell with the triangle button. The sad fact is, nothing in this game was fun for me. The story was pretty much the same as usual in games. An evil entity controls someone, someone tries to stop it, an empire in danger. The combat is mostly button mashing with attempts at blocking attacks with L1.

The game also doesn’t do so well on Metacritic either for the PS4 or Vita versions. The game is just not well received and with good reason. Yes, it has its fans, but I wouldn’t count on you being one. Thankfully it is free this month on PSN, so feel free to try it and tell me what you think. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Knights of Pen and Paper 2 Deluxe Edition (PS4)

Full disclosure here I never played the first Knights of Pen and Paper tho there is a bundle that gets you both of these games. I walked into this having no idea what to expect, but I bought it anyway because it looked like D&D as a pixel RPG. To be 100% honest, that is what this is. See that guy sitting at the table? He is the dungeon master. Those people are your characters. Essentially unless you buy a new table, which is something you can actually do, they all have some sort of effect, you will sit here and go about your adventure.

As you travel the background will change and the enemies will appear behind the dungeon master as he tells the story and you go on the quest and travel the world. The battle system is typical turn-based and each time you level up you will get points to put into skills of the characters you created.

The characters you create are more or less based on what you chose, you can choose a dwarf, human or elf and give them certain personalities such as being a cheerleader or such. The whole thing is pretty interesting.

The story isn’t bad but is actually quite silly, the tutorial even gets interrupted when someone realizes that 2nd edition and 1st edition characters can’t mix. This is a recurring theme and the humor is the selling point of the game. For  D&D fans and old-school RPG fans, this one is worth the buy. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

God of War 2

gow 2

I admit I didn’t play God of War first but started with the second game first. Among the kids in school, God of War was a favorite and I admit I didn’t get the hype at first. 10 minutes into playing the second game I understood..

Kratos, now the god of war, finds his city under attack by the colossus and his powers mysteriously drained. Zeus grants him the Blade of Olympus, the weapon Zeus used to cease the war against the titans; but to access it’s full power, Kratos needs to drain his godly power into the blade. seeing no other choice. Kratos does, slays the colossus but is laid crippled until Zeus appears, revealing the colossus was his doing and it was his plan to  kill Kratos because of his constant defiance of Olympus. Kratos is sent to hell where the titan Gaia makes contact with him, telling him of the Sisters of Fate, who can help him rewrite history itself, along the way Kratos will find the depths of Zeus’s cruelty and the secrets of the god king…

God of war 2 cranks up the epic level in almost every way but I admit there are some flaws. While I enjoy the sequel’s story more as well  better graphics and more epic set pieces, the final twist at the end kind of bummed me out. The new weapons are sweet but not  as cool as the set in the first game and I felt a little bit too overpowered at times. I still have to say, the game is fun as hell and looks amazing and definitely a great sequel I recommend. May the gaming gods bring you glory.