Epic Dumpster Bear: Dumpster Fire Redux

epic dumpster bear

I have to thank Savior for introducing me to the crazy ass game. Seriously, this is literally Goat Simulator level WTF. The plot is simple, but dare I say epic. You play as a bear whose home was destroyed by a greedy conglomerate and forced to eat out of dumpsters- but no more! He’s on a epic adventure for bears everywhere…see what I mean?

The game is a old fashioned Mario style plat-former that’s tough but fair. There’s a lot of obstacles and while you are a bear, you only take 2 hits before you die. To kill enemies, you primarily have to jump on them, unless you have the army helmet power up, then you can lob bombs at them. Some power ups include a fish head which gives you double jump power via farting and the army helmet to kill enemies and blast away obstacles. The game is simple but challenging. Every world gets harder but I never felt it was impossible. I don’t like that you slip when you run like you are on invisible ice which causes some bullshit deaths- by the way, there is only one checkpoint per stage so you will be repeating yourself a lot. I love the wacky blend of 3-d rendering of the bear and the vintage style graphics. The game is fun and funny as hell and I highly recommend it as a old school or WTF game. May the gaming gods bring you glory.



Lunch Truck Tycoon 2 Review (PS4)

lunch truck tycoon 2

It isn’t often I play a game that 100% makes me thing ” why the fuck did I buy this.” That being said, why the fuck did I buy this? The game in theory should be fun. It’s a tycoon game, in an open world and it actually has a story. Its pretty basic, a bunch of food manes people sick and you are attempting to rebuild your business so you may as well solve this problem.

The reality is the game is horrible. The controls make your food truck feel like you are driving a tank the map is essentially useless and to make matters worse outside of some basic stuff the game doesn’t actually tell you what to be doing. There is a short tutorial showing you where different places are to sell your food and such.

The issue is nothing in the game works, I’ve gotten stuck in menus and had to reset the game entirely, launched my truck into water because it simply wouldn’t stop or turn. The game sadly had a lot of potential but most of the game either doesn’t work or works so poorly. I got the game on sale for $5 which is half off its normal price, and I’ve blown way more on some pretty dumb stuff, but this is a complete waste of money. Do not buy this game, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

X men: the official game

x men the offical game

I have a weird pet peeve when it comes to franchises. I hate when a series begins in one medium but has installments in other mediums to fill in the gaps. X men the offical game is one such game, existing to connect the gaps between X2: X men United and X Men: The Last Stand . The game is divided into three campaigns: Wolverine, Iceman, and Nightcrawler leading into where they are in the third film.

The game isn’t a marvel (yes, pun intended) by any means. As Wolverine, you go straight up hack n slash which never really feels special. Nightcrawler you teleport around trying for more stealth attacks; the teleporting can be funky and like many stealth characters, you take a lot of damage super quick. Iceman you slide around on streams of ice and blast stuff with ice projectiles; his part was my favorite of the three and ran the smoothest. There is a comic book style to the cut scenes which doesn’t really fit that great. Graphics are fine and the voices are fine. In the end, the game is meh but doesn’t really try to be anything super special even to a hard core fan. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Spider-man 2: the game

spidey 2 ps2

Spider- man 2 is one of my all time favorite superhero movies and strangely  has probably the best movie tie  in game I’ve ever played. The story follows the main story of the movie while adding a Black Cat thread through most of the game, ending with a rematch against Shocker after the events of Spider-man (Ps2 era) as well as facing off against Rhino and Mysterio- which has a hilarious end.

Unlike most reviews , I’m going to start with the negatives rather than bad to good. The worst aspect of the game is the voice acting which, with the exception of Bruce Campbell as the narrator again, sounds dry and tired. The game otherwise is damn near perfect. Web swinging is fantastic; Spider-man moves with a lot of cool acrobatics and feels fast and realistic. Combat is fun, almost a precursor to the Arkham game. There is a flaw with the combat in that once you master the game’s mechanics, you no longer need the instinct mode and the game becomes too easy- there is only one difficulty. There are races, civilians to save, pizzas to deliver, petty crimes to stop, and secrets to find to pass the time which is fun. In the end, the game is far behind it’s time and deserves a fun play through. May the gaming gods bring you glory.


Spider-man (Ps2 era)

spider-man ps2

Since I’ve been on a kick lately talking about movie tie games such as Fantastic 4 (2005) the game and Superman returns: the game and well, they pretty much in a nutshell sucked. But, here’s a prime of a Spider-man movie tie game that’s pretty cool, based off of Spider-man from Sam Rami with the voice talents of Tobey Mcquire, Willem Dafoe, and Bruce Campbell returning for the game. As for the story, we begin hunting down Uncle Ben’s killer and becoming Spider-man facing off against villains like Shocker, Vulture, Scorpion, Kraven ( X Box only), and of course the Green Goblin. The villians are actually pretty well done, each given multiple chapters to flush them out and while some are easier than others, none of them ever feel weak and they have an epic mystique to them; I really like how Goblin goes out of his way to do more, and none of it feels like filler and I admit I wish they included some of his parts in the movie.

The game, a decade and a half after release, holds up pretty well. The combat is pretty fun with web moves and combos you unlock after finding golden spiders throughout the chapters. Web swinging is automatic which comes off kinda lazy but is passable; web zipping is pretty awesome and pretty damn acute- master it well before Shocker’s final chapter. The graphics are pretty good for early PS2 era. I really liked the music, which gives a darker tone for certain parts and is cool. After the story, there are fun challenges in training, including swing bowling which is fun as hell. In the end, this an example of a good movie tie in game and it’s worth looking into. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hulk (2003) game

hulk 2003 game

Damn, thinking back on it I played a lot of movie tie in games. This particular game is meant to be a sequel to Hulk from 2003; the Hulk movie with Eric Bana that no one liked. So how does it hold up? Well the plot is simple, Bruce Banner is on the run once again from the military and searching for a cure. He trusts a rival, disabled scientist named  Crawford who betrays you , becomes a Hulk-like creature named Ravage who allies  Himself with the Leader, a gamma being with a enlarged brain that wants to take over the world using Hulk’s DNA, after creating his own band of freaks to attack the brute…

The game is divided into two completely different gameplay styles: smashing through guys as the Hulk and stealth as Banner. First and foremost, the Banner parts suck. It’s really easy to get caught and you die really quick. The Hulk parts are way better but simple. You wreak stuff; there are cool super moves like thunder clap as well as being able to pick up stuff as weapons. It’s standard beat em up but it’s fun enough. I seriously recommend getting the cheat codes so you can be invulnerable, have unlimited energy and unlock all levels and skip the Banner shit. The graphics are bright and mediocre and the voice acting is blah. If you want an alright beat,em up game, it’s worth a shot but make sure to get the cheat codes for a pretty sweet Hulk experience. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ultimate Spider-man game

ultimate spider-man

I don’t really talk about Ultimate Marvel that much. I enjoyed Ultimate Fantastic 4: Fantastic / Doom and the The Ultimates but that’s where most of my fuzzy feelings end on the matter. This game opened my eyes…

So it begins with a really quick run through of Ultimate Spider-man lore and immediately a boss fight, Venom chasing down Parker at a rained out football game. Through the game we switch perspectives as Spider-man and Venom as S.H.I.E.L.D, OsCorp hunt you down but it all comes down to the grudge match between the two.

Some of Ultimate’s general story choices always bothered the shit out of me like the Black Suit not being a alien, Green Goblin being lime green HellBoy that throws fireballs, and Peter Parker being Carnage. How Venom is portrayed as more of a mindless brute that just hungers is enough to piss off any true old school Spidey fan. That being said the story isn’t great but passable.

The game’s graphics go for a bright comic book aesthetic which fits. Playing as Spider-man is a serious down grade from the awesome Spider-man 2 game. There’s no real combat combos, the web swinging feels clunky by comparison, and instead of the previous game’s cool dodge mechanics, you  just jump out of the way. As for Venom, you brawl with your fists and tentacles as well as a hell of a super jump. The problem is your health bar dwindles and you have to feed- a lot. Venom’s chase sections are a pain in the ass compared to Spidey’s. The villain roster is nice with the likes of Shocker, Electro, Goblin, Beetle, Rhino, Silver Sable and Carnage. Would I recommend it- not unless you are a fan of the Ultimate comics honestly. Before this game and after, there are better Spider-man games out there. May the gaming gods bring you glory.