I did not go into watching Rogue One: a Star Wars Story with the enthusiasm I’ve seen countless others go into with; I couldn’t help but think “I already know how this is going to end? What’s the point of seeing a two hour movie about something I was perfectly content with knowing in a sentence of exposition from the Original Star Wars movie?” Seriously, I never wondered how the rebels got the plans for the Death Star, I just knew they got them and the people who got them died doing it…but we live in that kind of world anymore. No more mystery, every little thing has to be delved into and exploited…I’m sorry, it’s a sore topic but kind of relevant in that, while not a terrible movie, it isn’t great either.
The story begins with our heroine, Jyn Erso as a little girl hiding out with her family from the clutches of the Galactic Empire. Jyn’s father, Galen, is one of the Empire’s greatest scientific minds in charge of developing the infamous super weapon : the Death Star. Her mother is murdered by the main villain (sorry guys, you get less Vader in this than Joker in Suicide Squad), her father taken by the Empire, and she’s brought up by a man named Sol, a guerrilla leader fighting his own war against the Empire…Ok, here’s where I cut the bullshit and maybe hurt some feelings: With the exception of K2SO, I didn’t really have a complete connection to any character in this film. Our main protagonists, Jyn and Cassian, were passable. Many of there companions had cool traits or even the beginnings of a cool story behind them but I can’t tell you there names. For our main villain, couldn’t tell you his name, just that I wish Vader finished his ass off on the landing platform. Speaking of characters while we’re at it, they have a lot of CGI restorations of actors in there youth or plain old not with us anymore. Moments of there rendering are fine but in the case of some of Tarkin’s dialogue or Princess Leia’s reveal, the skin looks kind of like plastic, which is a bit jarring. For positive’s, the action scenes are pretty damn sweet. The final 20 minutes are the best finale I’ve seen to a movie in a little while and are on par with Avengers-level awesome to behold. The moment that steals the show is Darth Vader’s three minute rebel massacre; if the prequels tarnished your image of Vader’s cold, angry, fearsome exterior, this scene will bring it all back to his rightful place. Overall, Rogue One is overrated as hell but worth a redbox rent; just Youtube the Vader finale and tell me that isn’t jaw-droppingly bad ass.