Wish Upon

wish upon

Savior had the misfortune of hearing me spaz out while watching this mutated cat turd of a movie. What happens when we strip the base plot of a Goosebumps book, add a shit load of trendy little ticks to be trendy for your PG-13 audience, and water down Final Destination? Cinematic Horror diarrhea.

Claire is a high school girl who stumbled upon her mother killing herself as a kid and lives a normal shitty high school existence getting bullied by the preppy popular girls and hides the shame of her dad dumpster diving for a living. Yep. Well, on a dive, her dad finds a fancy box covered in Chinese script and says “I bet my daughter would like this” and gives it to her. Well she learns that it’s a wishing box and her wishes come true, but with the price of someone’s life, and she can’t stop.

Ok, this is the second worst movie I’ve seen this year. The plot has so many logic gaps and tries being trendy so damn hard it stops being funny and will begin to piss you off. Like what American high school teaches Chinese; why the fuck is the dad so relentless about dumpster diving; how the hell can getting your hair caught in a disposal break your neck? The kills are either lame, funny, or watered down. The twist you will figure out 10 minutes in. I hated Claire after two wishes, seriously, you will root for the box after a while. The only way I’d actually recommend this is you want a movie to laugh at with friends, but don’t go past Redbox. Best wishes, may the gaming gods bring you glory, and friends don’t let friends watch Wish Upon.

Author: torstenvblog

Writer of the strange and everything; lover of horror, literature, comics, and the alien is my spirit animal

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