Spider-man 3

spider man 3

Look at this picture. This picture describes this film as well as describing my reactions after watching Spider-man 3. It’s epic to see, at first; many would notice the fact the famed “black suit” is basically just the normal costume painted grey and black, and there is no Venom symbol and something seems off in the back of your mind but you can’t tell why or what. Well, if you loved the first two, get ready to be depressed when potential gets devoured by a horrible black  CGI goo.

Not long after the second movie, Peter’s life is almost perfect: he’s doing great at school, he’s about to marry Mary Jane, and the city loves Spider-man. So what’s wrong? Harry gave in to his demons and with daddy’s toys and leftover crazy juice becomes the “New Goblin” ( aka the Samurai Snowboarder with a slight Halloween vibe) but is quickly defeated, losing his memory of his hate and knowledge of pretty much last two movies. On top of that, Peter discovers that Uncle Ben’s real killer is still on the loose and has been transformed into the Sandman. After his rage starts burning in him, a black space ooze creeps up on his ass and gives him a black suit making him stronger, more aggressive and 50 times more emo, leading him to go down a “dark” path where he may not be able to return from. Oh, and Venom and Gwen Stacey are in this dumpster fire too…

Nerds and Spidey fans all around the world groaned when his bummer dropped. The plot is bloated as hell and none of them are really developed to there full potential. James Franco, despite the stupid outfit, was my favorite part of the main cast, actually feeling like he actually cared to try; Thomas Haden Church tried like hell to give a good performance as Sandman but I felt the script made his character laughably pitiful. The rest of the actors just kinda feel like they are phoning it in; J.K Simmons was by far the absolute best part of this thing. Venom, fan favorite and one of Marvel’s most beloved characters looks like shit and is so damn rushed it hurts. There’s a scene so infamous, and I try most know of it ( the Jazz Club) that killed a small part of me inside. Sandman’s effects are stunning but on the whole, the fights and symbiote CGI are lackluster at best. Friends, instead of ripping this movie a new ass hole, I’m going to give it to you straight: this was the first movie that ever gave me amnesia- no that is not an over-exaggeration. I did not remember it as soon as the end credits rolled; I told myself it wasn’t real, after how awesome the first two were, this couldn’t be the end. But it was. Friends don’t let friends watch Spider-man 3, but I’ll let you see how my hopes were puffed up like a gentle souffle only to be popped by the pin of reality and studio interference. May the gaming gods bring you glory.



Author: torstenvblog

Writer of the strange and everything; lover of horror, literature, comics, and the alien is my spirit animal

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