Satanic

Satanic

Satanic (2016) was written by Anthony Jaswinski and directed by Jeffrey G. Hunt is the story of four friends that stop off in L.A. to view some occult tourist spots. Like all movies like this, it eventually leads to witnessing an excommunication from some satanic cult that for whatever reason had to be done topless. All the characters seem to fit the usual stereotypes. The jackass jock, the nice girl next door, the goth chick and the dude that seems like he is trying to fit in with the goth chick. Of course after helping the homeless girl that now has no place to go. As always it turns out they would have been far better off leaving her on the side of the road waiting for her alleged bus. The movie wasn’t very well received and I can understand why, it was largely just a bunch of horror movie cliches tossed together with cute chicks to round out the experience. Its currently on Netflix if you are interested in seeing how it all plays out. Thanks for being here and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Coffin Dodgers

coffin dodgers

I won’t lie, I bought this game because I heard it was an easy platinum and it was on sale for like $3. I wasn’t expecting much, and at a 28.6% platinum rate i knew it wouldn’t be hard. The same day I bought it the platinum popped and I must admit I felt a little dirty. The game isn’t to bad despite the low price point and simple trophies. There was definitely some lag and graphical glitches and the other drivers seem to have far better reach and aim with weapons but honestly its not overly frustrating or even hard to deal with. As far as Mario Kart rip offs go this one isn’t hard and has a surprisingly fun story that entails the Grim reaper collecting souls from a retirement community where it is decided they will race their motorized scooters where the winners get to keep their souls. There are only about 4 groups of maps with 3 tracks in each,all of which are pretty nice to look at. Colorful and filled with things to see and the sound while not high end is still pretty pleasing. All things considered at full price of $12 it is a worthwhile purchase if you just want some quick fun and and easy trophies. Thanks for joining me and may the gaming god bring you glory.

Platinum Trophies

Trophies

Now i’m no expert on this subject, i only have two of them, One for the PS3 version of the walking dead season 1 and one for Final Fantasy 15. I have never much been one to hunt down all the trophies in a game, I grab them when I can but never really went to far out of my way. The walking dead hands it out for beating the game and the FF15 trophy I got from doing stuff I wanted to do anyway. That being said on occasion I have done a little exrea searching and have a few games i’m just short of getting the platinum for that honesty I honestly will probably never finish getting. Not because they are to hard ( tho some are) but because I really do not have the willpower to get the job done.  That being said, I think they add a ton of incentive to play games multiple times and search for everything you can possibly find. There are whole communities dedicated to collecting them and that community always seems pretty open and inviting and that to me is never a bad thing. Happy hunting guys, as always thanks for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Gallowwalkers Review

Gallowwalkers

Directed by Andrew Goth and starring Wesley Snipes I went into Gallowwalkers (2012) with the expectation of a solid but unremarkable movie. After all its a zombie westernwith Wesley Snipes. So 30 minutes in something doesn’t seem right. So I google this movie and see some horrible reviews. As I continue watching and inch my way closer to the halfway mark I slowly realise this move is not getting any better. At this point Snipes i shooting up a prison with very little explanation as to why the flash back is happening, and these lades ample bosom are not doing a very good job keeping me interested.  You know how bad of a movie it has to be for chicks in Victorian dresses to be the best part of a movie and still have the movie be such a pile of shit I don’t want to finish watching it? Seriously Snipes what the hell were you thinking putting your name on this? Now at about the half way point a bunch of people get the short drop and a sudden drop treatment by whom I assume is the bad guy shot by Snipes in the prison complaining that him, his men and his whore all came back to life but his son did not. Finally some explanation. I’m not going to bother describing the other half of this damn train wreck. And I would recommend  you don’t try to find out. This movie never really gets any better and has few if any redeeming qualities. Thanks for reading, and best wishes from the gaming gods.

Blue Gender

blue What if told you there was a story that tugged at your heartstrings like the Walking Dead but gave you the satisfaction of Robot-mech suits fighting giant damn near unkillable bug monsters all with a message that humanity blows? Hello, Blue Gender. It’s a short anime series, only about 24-26 episodes long- about a young man named Yuji who goes into cryo- sleep because of a condition he has, promised only to be frozen a year or two until a cure can be discovered. He awakens decades later to a horrific site of the Blue that had taken over, giant armored insect like beasts. Yuji is rescued from the cryo- facility by rescue team lead by Marlene Angel, with the intention of rescuing “Sleepers” like Yuji and taking them to Second Earth, a space station orbiting the planet containing the most valuable of man kind. Yuji discovers the “Sleepers” disease holds the key to possibly destroying the Blue, but first they must traverse there way to second Earth.

Blue Gender, though short, is basically two stories in one. The first half of the story is about the survivors journey to Second Earth; the second half revolves around the Sleepers and how the the ultimate weapon against the Blue, fittingly named the Double-Edge, may not only bring the Blue to there end but humanity’s as well. The first half of the story is grim but thrilling, feeling much like a precursor to the Walking Dead or 28 Days later with a streak of Alien and Pacific Rim thrown in. The problem with the first half is the character of Yuji. Understandably he is distraught by the world and the horrors of the Blue, but there’s a point of being frightened than being a whiny ass bitch. He begins the series as a coward, slowly getting the balls to fight back.  The second half of the series, is much more action based with a rolling thread of psychological horror building up. Yuji’s character changes as his mind is corrupted by the Double-Edge and it’s connection to the Blue, growing more hostile towards Marlene. and gaining a blood lust towards the Blue. Of the four recovered Sleepers, Yuji and another named Tony, seem to be the best chance of destroying the Blue, until Tony starts giving all the way to the Blue’s connection while Marlene help Yuji the connection. Overall the slow is well paced, very sad in the beginning and creepy at the end with a lot of fighting and intense fights and chases. The voice acting and musical score are great, any DBZ fans will enjoy most of the same actors in both. If you want to catch a quick anime, or want to get into anime, Blue Gender is a good place to start.

blue 2

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 review

hellraiser 2

Another classic based of a Clive Barker story with the screenplay done by Peter Atkins and directed by Tony Randal. Hellbound takes place directly after the first hellraiser with Kristine now in a mental hospital which should be no surprise. In typical sequel fashion while she begs and pleads for an item to be destroyed so her evil stepmom cant come back from the dead no one believes poor Kristy. You know, until the even more evil occultist head of the mental hospital lets a crazy dude slice himself open reviving Kristys evil  step mom back then later letting another solve the puzzle once again releasing the Cenobites which as far as i can tell are former humans that basically became demons. The movie itself has some flashes of nudity, plenty of death and enough fake blood and dead bodies to drowned a small army. Honestly sitting here watching the movie i couldn’t really see anything that made the movie special even for its time. Worse still it seems even the directer and screenwriter didn’t seem to care enough to do anything new or interesting to the point that even the formerly dead step mother claims the rules of the fairy tale have changed with her no longer just being the wicked step mother but now the evil queen.

I wont go as far to say the movie was bad despite poor ratings on both Rotten Tomatoes (48%) and IMDb (6.5/10) the movie just was not special in any way. Pinhead and the Cenobites aren’t bad villains, they simply don’t seem to be very well utilized this time around.  They come across as a mix between Freddie Kruger and some weird carnival freak show which honestly have simply been done better by others, tho done well enough for there to be 9 movie in the series. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Elite Dangerous, Exploration

leaving portSo the other day I spent a couple hour flying around 600 light years round trip. So now here I am to pass some of that experience on to you. First buy the best fuel scoop you can or else you end up sitting like this for 15 minutes waiting to refuel.

scooping

Supposedly if you move it refuels faster, but i tried both and the only difference i saw was moving is a bigger pain in the ass and id prefer to use that time to flip through menus. Some other advice is try to listen to music or a podcast for long trips, it gets a little boring jumping and refueling. Also have the best scanners you possibly can. It saves a lot of time to scan once then pick and choose what to scan with your surface scanners.

Also try to take a minute to take a look around and enjoy the view.sun

That’s a picture of my Diamondback Explorer just checking out a star. Not sure why this one caught my eye, I’ve seen about 30 like it. Other things I have run into was this purple star called a brown dwarf

purple brown dwarf

Yes this one confused me but I i snapped a picture and went with it. There as some rather odd but interesting things to find. One last thing tho see this next picture?

mailslot

I stopped in front of the entrance to get this picture and got a fine for the trouble. So yes, don’t do this. As always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Arcade Archives: Contra

AA Contra

Another long title that as implies is the port of an arcade version, not the NES version well grew up playing. What you basically lose here is the famous Konami code and what you gain are superior graphics and sound. It is worth pointing out tho that there is a code for 30 lives that’s quite similar to the classic code. The levels are as far as i can tell exactly the same and still quite the pain in the ass, but weirdly if you re on the top of a level and jump above the screen you can’t fire your weapon which is quite annoying and can get you killed. The levels are pretty fast paced and by todays standards pretty short which really isn’t  problem for an $8 retro game. It also comes with the American and Japanese version as well as a high-score mode and trophy support for those that care to hunt the few of them down. While its a nice stroll down nostalgia lane i have to admit for whatever reason the game just doesn’t feel as fun as it once did. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

ACA Neogeo Super Baseball 2020

super baseball

Ok that may be the longest title I have ever had to type out. Seriously the title of this is actually the name of the game. Anyway a friend of mine posted this game was coming out and I thought well damn, i loved this game as a kid I need to pick this up. So i picked it up, waited the 30 seconds it took to download and I have to say it held up pretty decently for an old arcade game. Yes this is based off an arcade version, not the Sega Genesis. the graphics aren’t half bad and the sound held up fairly well also. There re a few issues that drive me nuts tho. They for whatever reason kept the normal arcade time limit when making choices. Which in an actual arcade is no big deal, dealing with that shit at home is super annoying. But wait, there’s more, every 5 minutes the game gets interrupted until you ” insert coins” and hit continue which more than a few times happens in the middle of a pitch which was annoying as hell. When all is said and done its a solid port of the game and aside from a few issues its worth the 8 bucks. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

All Cheerleders Die

all cheer. die

Directed by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson All Cheerleaders Die is a movie about, well cheerleaders. Look i won’t lie to you people, basically i hop o Netflix or Hulu, pick a random movie in the horror genre and watch it. Sometimes I sit down with my laptop, get some writing done or work on my game and enjoy a movie. Other times I end up watching shit like All cheerleaders die. I didn’t pay for this but i still want my money back. The first 30 minutes or so is bitchy but hot cheerleaders going about their lives of back stabbing and being a dick to the less popular kids. The only bright sides or the chicks are pretty odd and at least a few of them are lesbians together. There isn’t a lot of nudity but it would be inappropriate for minors. Shortly after the 30 minute mark  a football player has enough of  a cheerleader berating him in front of everyone and punches her which results in a car chase and a car full of cheerleaders seemingly dead. After some accidental witch craft with some magical rocks the girls are back and that is around the time all sorts of weird shit happens. 2 girls switch bodies,people start dieng and i’m not sure if they are zombies or what the hell is going on,they definitely eat a  dude, well steal his life force or maybe both? Movie is weird. Seriously don’t watch it, or at least be drunk. As always thanks for coming and may the gaming gods bring you glory.