Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City

rerco

Oh boy…this is gonna be bad. Originally described to me by a friend as “Resident Evil meets Star Wars Battlefront” , I was immediately hooked. Playing as an Umbrella agent trying to contain the infamous Raccoon City outbreak- HELL YEAH! Well, sorry again slightly younger Torsten, but get ready to get boned again and have your hopes and dreamed set ablaze. Put bluntly, this game is laughably bad. And honestly, there was no reason it had to be that way. A good third person shooter during a zombie monster apocalypse shouldn’t be that hard of a thing to achieve. That being said, the gameplay was merely a super clunky SOCOM mash up that could be fun with a friend. Some people have told me the game is better in multiplayer but for the single player joes like myself, tough shit pal. The A.I is idiotic and a clear case of it looking like your comrades are doing shit but not really doing a damn thing. The shooting is god awful, like unless the damn zombies were directly in front of me I was screwed. Also, the stupid ass A.I partners would get in the way anyway. The graphics are meh and as for characters, the only two I can remember are HUNK- the Boba Fett of Resident Evil who has a unintentionally funny intro and a brief cameo and chase by William Birkin which is the best part if the running didn’t feel like a hot grilled ass and cheese sandwich… I’m going to end this review of this wad of giraffe dung with a anecdote: I got this used from my local game store. Cashier says “ouch dude, are you sure?” and for free he upgraded me to the steel book case and the told me what days he worked that week and told me if I brought it back, he’d let me exchange it for a equal value game, no questions asked. I came back less than 24 hours later, walked up to him and in front of people replied “Fuck this game.” That says it all. Overall, friends don’t let friends play Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City.

The mummy (1999)

the mummy

So how about we talk about a good remake of the Mummy and not a Marvel wannabe? This 1999 remake features fun likable characters, pretty impressive effects for the time that can be kinda creepy and it’s just a plain simple adventure. Imhotep was a priest in the days of ancient Egypt who was cursed and mummified alive because he helped kill the pharaoh and used some black magic to try bringing his dead girlfriend back to life. Hundreds of years later, a librarian named Evee out for adventure with her troublesome bother Jonathan save a convict Rick O Connell from the gallows because he swore to have seen the location to the lost city of…Haminaptra (my apologies for the horrific spelling). There, with other explorers, they find Imhotep’s corpse and the book that unintentionally brings him back from the dead. With his resurrection comes the horror of his feeding off of those who originally unlocked his tomb as he tries to unleash the ten plagues and bring back his girlfriend.

Overall, it’s definately a fun movie. Not quite a horror flick per say, there are some messed up parts like watching people getting mauled by scarabs or Imhotep’s first victim shuffling about after having his eyes and tongue ripped out. There’s a lot of cool action scenes and some good humor thrown throughout; it’s one of those rare movies that knows how to serious but not take itself too seriously. I highly recommend it, and as always thank you and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Red Dead Redemption 2 trailer

rdr2

Damn I want this game. Like a good trailer ought to, we get glimpses of the majestic, epic beauty of the old west in the trailer for Red Dead Redemption 2 but we don’t get much of an idea of a plot except for Dutch being referenced at the end, making me think this maybe some kind of prequel. In one way I’d be fine with that, getting to see a young John Marsten get in with the gang he’d hunt down in the original.  I was a huge fan of the first Red Dead Redemption and my hopes are high for the sequel, not too many times I can lasso someone and toss them in front of a train after all.

Claymore

claymore

Do you enjoy sexy ladies, giant monsters, crazy ass sword fights, or mi-devil stories? If you said yes to one or more of these things, Claymore is an anime for you. Set in what I take to be mid evil times, people are in fear of humaniod beasts called Yoma. These things are vicious as hell and pretty unkillable, except for a Claymore. A Claymore is a human female/ Yoma hybrid trained as a warrior to kill the beasts; they are faster, stronger, have ridiculously quick reflexes, and rarely age. It has to be a young woman that is changed, males don’t react favorable to the hybrid process. They are controlled by a mysterious Organization, who collect money for the Claymore clearing the town. So essentially they are pimps. Any way, our main focus is on a Claymore named Claire and her human companion boy Rocky as she aims to destroy a talented Claymore turned full Yoma who murdered Teresa, the once greatest Claymore and who had saved Claire as she herself saved Rocky.  I loved almost everything about this series but towards the end it starts to drag a little for me. While I usually don’t like happy endings, I was really invested in Claire and Rocky’s friendship, as I was Claire and Teresa’s. I love Skyrim and the scenery and score reminded me of it a little bit. This show features one of my favorite fights in all of anime, Teresa the ranked #1 Claymore vs 2-5 and it’s gorgeous and badass to watch. If you want a short but rich anime to watch, I highly recommend Claymore and you can find it all dubbed on Hulu. As always thank you and may the gaming gods be with you.

I am the pretty thing that lives in the house

pretty

Be happy I love you Savior. This is probably the strangest bad thing I’ve reviewed so far. Things like Aliens: Colonial Marines were just flat out bad, and I’m going to tell you now I didn’t like this movie but it’s weird why not.

Much like the movie Darling I reviewed, this is a really artsy horror film. It centers around a young RN named Lily who moves into the house of a once famous author who’s suffering from severe dementia and has to take care of her. Iris Blum, her patient barely functions in her grand sterile white house…except for the rotting spot that develops in the wall. Lily is curious why Iris won’t call her anything but Polly and discovers the famous book Iris wrote was about a real woman named Polly Parsons who got murdered and buried in the wall and Polly told her the story…

I have to say the narrations for this movie are beautifully written. The cinematography is beautiful. The acting is strange and slightly off putting, which combined with how isolated the house feels and how quiet it is can be quite creepy. So why didn’t I like it? It’s boring. Plain and simple. The movie ends when it just feels like it’s starting to build up to something. The fact that there is rarely dialogue but narration, while as I said is well written, feels pretentious after a while. The ending flat out pissed me off with how anti-climatic it felt.  If this was a novella or short story, I’d call it a damn good one. As a movie, nah. I recommend this to a film student or aspiring writer like myself as a teaching tool but I can’t as a actual horror movie.  As always you guys are awesome, thank you for your time, and may the gaming gods be with you.

 

1922 trailer

1922

I’m glad Stephen King is jumping back into mainstream popularity again. Just sayin dude. Anyway, so I know Netflix is popping out a original movie for Gerald’s Game and now 1922, one of five stories from the collection Full Dark, No Stars. 1922 in a nutshell is the story of a farming family living in the titular year and how the father kills the mother and throws her in a old well and how the guilt destroy the lives of him and his son. From the brief trailer we got, the plot seems to be there. I’m glad the movie has a grounded feel to it, the actors actually look like a struggling farming  family and the ghostly images aren’t overly flashy. Overall, I think it’s a perfectly doable adaptation and I’m actually fairly excited for it. May the gaming gods be with you and as always thank you for reading.

Cyborg: unplugged

cyborg unplugged

I’m going to admit, at first I was very pissed when it was announced Cyborg was going to be part of the JLA movie roster instead of Green Lantern. I liked Cyborg since my youth watching Teen Titans, but Green Lantern has been part of the team since the beginning. I searched for his solo comics on Amazon and was surprised at the lack of material he had; I wasn’t expecting a vast library for Cyborg but certainly more than I found. That being said, I was pleasantly surprised as a reader.

The story goes as such: The JLA are thrown into a fight with these creepy ass looking machine-creatures from the future. Vic Stone is with the rest of the league, fighting his heart off, but the things overpower him quite easily and seemingly kill Cyborg. Suddenly, he awakens after his tech goes through a mysterious but miraculous reboot that revives him but leaves him…different. Suddenly, some of his skin has returned while obtaining the mechanical features. We also begin to see people finding ways to implant cybernetics in themselves to either replace what is lost or enhance themselves. As Vic tries to discover what the hell is happening to him; the things that wrecked him have returned for his blood and the enhanced to stop a terrible fate..

I got really into this for one really good reason: Victor Stone as a character. He was was written with a lot of depth and relate able pain and issues but still had a wisecrack and a trademark BOOYAH while kicking ass- seriously if he doesn’t drop a BOOYAH in that damn JLA movie, I want my money back. The art was wonderful, both wondrous and creepy at times. I can’t say I was hugely invested in the story as a whole but the character of Cyborg kept me there for the run and now I’m wanting more. As always, thank you for reading and may the gaming gods be with you all.