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Evil Bong 2: Devil’s Harvest

evil bong 2

Also called “King Bong”, we have the sequel to Evil Bong. Oh boy.So we join our stoners again after Alistair saved them from Eebee, the Evil Bong. Alistair is called by his old friends because they are suffering from bizarre symptoms from getting high like one dude who has constant munchies, another who won’t stop humping shit, and another who randomly keeps passing out. So randomly the dude who delivered the bong in the first one comes and some how we find ourselves going to a mysterious island to confront the ex boyfriend of Eebee the Evil Bong, King Bong and yeah…I laughed my ass off how fucking stupid this movie was but that’s the fun. As I said before in my previous review of the Evil Bong series, don’t watch this expecting a high brow comedy. If you enjoy dumb shit for the sake of dumb shit, you’ll have a blast. I know I did. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hunger Games

hunger games book Something about the upcoming holiday made me think of the amazing book and the lame ass movie. Yes, I said it, the first movie sucked. Seriously, I almost got me and a friend kicked out of our local movie theater because I was that pissed. I’m going to predominately focus on the book, but oh I will get to the movie at the end.

Katniss Everdeen is a pissed off, quiet, depressed seventeen year old girl living in District 12 in the post-apocalypse of Panem. Each district provides a service to the tyrannical Capitol that reigns supreme and every year, to prove there might and superiority, they hold the Hunger Games. Two tributes, one boy and one girl from each district are placed in a game for all to see where the only victor is the child who manages to kill and outlive the others. Prim, Katniss’s little sister is chosen but Katniss takes her place alongside Peeta Mellark, a handsome, kind young man who showed her mercy years before in her darkest days. Katniss is a survivor though and skilled with a bow, but will that be enough to survive?

Ok, so I am a huge fan of the book trilogy. I seriously devoured the book page to page when I first read it and still held up after a few rereadings which is impressive. Here is two reasons why I hated how it was adapted: the book was in first person and almost nothing was as I imagined it. As I said above, Katniss is a quiet, introverted young woman so the first person perspective added depth and melancholy where needed; during the movie there were times she acted bizarrely. If you read the book, it may make sense but as a casual movie goer it may make you ask WTF? Next, a lot of this wasn’t how I imagined. Much like an experience with the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the story in the first Hunger Games gave me hard, visceral images without really giving them to me, making me imagine them rather than washing the page in fictional blood and guts. The movie doesn’t show you jack shit but you get a nice assload of shaky-cam. Two huge gripes I have is that for a district riddled with poverty, coal dust, and starvation, our lead actors look pretty damn well fed and ugh- Peeta your damn family can barely afford food but you can gel your hair, bullshit ahoy! And the second thing, the final monsters got WAY bitched down from the book and on top of that, the CGI effects for them look like shit. I do enjoy the music in the movie and Woody Harrelson is awesome as Haymitch but that’s about all the good I got to say. Please read the book trilogy. Best wishes, may the gaming gods bring you glory and may the odds be ever in your favor.

5 great stories from DC new 52

jla

The new 52 comic run brought us some cool new ideas as well as introduced me to a lot of new characters I feel in love with and even helped reshaped the way we viewed some of them. Working my way to number 1, here’s my list of 5 favorite DC new 52 stories starting with…

new 52 shazam 5. Shazam (volume 1)- I’m not a magic fan but I do love Black Adam, who stole every panel he appeared in for me. Menacing, intelligent, and powerful, he was a great way to start Shazam’s origin. After reading this, Adam became a favorite of mine.

new 52 suicide squad 4. Suicide Squad: Kicked in the teeth (volume 1)- I borrowed the first 3 volumes of the new 52 a year before the movie came out and absolutely devoured them. I loved a story based primarily of villains kicking ass and spouting dark 1 liners. Also, King Shark rules!

new 52 flash 3. Flash: Gorilla Warfare (volume 3)- I love Grodd. I love the Rogues. This book boils down to Flash and the Rogues teaming up to stop Grodd and his ape army. It’s badass and ends with a awesome fight and a Easter egg I loved.

new 52 aquaman 2. Aquaman: The Trench (volume 1)- Like many people, I never thought into Aquaman much. To quote Batman, “Arthur Curry, I hear you can talk to fish.) But the gorgeous artwork and epic fight got me on board instantly. 1 superhero vs a army of mutated piranha people, what’s not to love?

new 52 batman 1 1. Batman: Court of Owls/ Night of the owls (volumes 1 and 2)- It’s not everyday a great Batman story comes out that has nothing to do with Joker. In fact, this story brings the history we thought we knew deeply into question and not only is Batman and the Bat-family at match by these creepy, damn near unstoppable assassins but they truly test what Batman stands for and that is the sign of a great story.

Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Scary Movie

Ok, so once upon a time, before I became Torsten V I had a stick up my ass about horror. I didn’t think horror and comedy could blend together, like Fettuccine Alfredo and Rocky Road ice cream; separately great but together you get the worst kind of diarrhea the devil couldn’t imagine. When Scary Movie debuted, I was high on the Scream trilogy and was pretty pissed about having a movie satirizing it. Well, in school I heard how hilarious I was and really had nothing to rent from Blockbuster that weekend so there I went- and I loved it.

Essentially the movie is mash up of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer, with jabs at such 90’s hits like The Blair Witch Project and The Sixth Sense. Seventeen years later, some of the references as well the movies it is based on may feel dated but if you grew up around then, you’ll get a good laugh. The Comedy is crude but I don’t know what you were expecting walking into something like this. I had a lot of fun with it and it holds up well years later and multiple rewatches. Best wishes, may the gaming gods bring you glory, and WHATZ UP!

Batman: Arkham City

arkham city

The follow up to Arkham Asylum royally kicked the notches up when it came to scope and gameplay, but it ain’t perfect. I would say Asylum was a 10/10, Knight a 9.5/10, and City a 9/10. By no means horrendous, but still my least favorite of the three.

The begins with a bang, Bruce Wayne is arrested during a press conference protesting the formation of Arkham City: a huge, contained part of Gotham acting as a massive prison for all of Gotham’s criminals from the common thugs to the Super villains. The head of Arkham City, Hugo Strange, knows Wayne’s true identity as he tells him how he will make Gotham a better, safer place without Batman with the mysterious Protocol 10. So it’s up to Batman to face off against a city in the clutches of a three way gang between Two-Face, Penguin, and a dying Joker who requires Bats help, injecting him with his own tainted blood to ensure Batman’s help. It’s a race against time to save the good, the bad, and the insane from Strange and his dark benefactor lurking behind the scene.

I love the story as it first stood. Arkham City the best rogues gallery of any batman game I’ve ever played facing off against Two-Face, Penguin, Mr Freeze, Clayface, Rhas al Ghul, Solomon Grundy, and Deadshot to name a few. Mark Hamil and Kevin Conroy are amazing as always as Joker and Batman, with all around great voice acting. The combat is much more fluid this time around and being able to add gadgets into my combos was friggin sweet; I loved the gliding mechanics for getting around Arkham City. Then we come into some issues with the Riddler and Catwoman. shit. The Catwoman sections on there own aren’t bad but I hate how they were integrated into the game after the Game of the Year edition came out which kinda kills the flow of the game for me. And the Riddler stuff ranges from cool to flat out, blood boiling annoying and oh there is a shit ton of it. So if you don’t like collecting shit- oh well. Another pet peeve is that find things to complete the side missions are a major pain at times. You either have to wait a lot or randomly find things along to continue them, which thank god they fixed the mission for Hush because that drove me crazy. Overall Arkham City is a really sweet game with some drawbacks but a lot of fun. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox

flashpoint paradox

Another great comic I wanted to read and one of Flash’s greatest stories that inspired much of season 3 of the show as well as rumor has it is looking up to being the focus of DCEU’s solo Flash movie.

We join Flash, Barry Allen, as he goes about his normal life as the Scarlet Speedster. Fastest man alive. Life is ok, but could be better. Barry’s driving force is the death of his mom Nora, the death that put his dad away for a murder he never committed. A conflict with Flash’s greatest nemesis, Eobard Thawne- Reverse Flash, brings Barry the oppertunity to have his dreams comes true: Thawne gives Barry the chance to travel back and save his mom. He takes the chance and saves her, causing one huge bitch of a paradox. Barry wakes up one day and discovers himself powerless but happy, but the world around him a dark mirror of itself on the brink of WW3 between Themyscira and Atlantis, where Bruce Wayne was shot dead in Crime Alley as a kid and Thomas Wayne became a malevolent, cruel Batman, and Superman was found by the US government instead of the Kents and experimented and locked away. Barry is powerless and alone, realizing his dream meant the suffering of millions.

I have to say this was my favorite DC animated movie so far. Batman was my favorite part, twisted and sad. If you love Flash or are one of those people who think comic books or superheroes can’t tell great stories, I urge you to check this animated movie out on Netflix. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

Gotham by Gaslight trailer

gotham by gaslight

So it’s pretty safe to say DC’s first R rated animated film didn’t do so great despite Hamil and Conroy reprising there iconic voice roles as Joker and Batman. I’m seriously optimistic and pumped for Gotham by Gaslight. Gotham by Gaslight is a what if story about steampunk Batman tracking down the infamous Jack the Ripper. Already from the trailer we got, I love the scenery and art style. I always had a fondness and appreciation for Victorian era themes and scenery and to see Batman looking so down to earth and old fashioned is really cool. I’d love to read the graphic novel before the film comes. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

Wonder Woman

wonder woman

Ok, so I feel like I’m really repeating myself here, but I’m not really a Wonder Woman fan but I did love the movie. After the movie, I’m willing to jump into her comics, so if anyone has any ideas where to start drop them in the comment box. Seriously, Gal Gadot was fantastic as Diana Prince and badass as hell as Wonder Woman. In what short of screen time she had in BVS, she stole the show from the titular men for me there and I’m glad to say I’d call her movie the best the DCEU has to offer so far.

Diana is an amazonian princess on the island of Themyscira, a paradise island inhabited by amazon women. Diana is not a average amazon however, she was forged from clay and brought to life by Zeus. She grows up a skilled warrior, possessing speed, strength, reflexes, and durability unmatched by any of her fellow amazons. But there is nothing to fight…until Steven Trevor crashes into the sea near the island. Diana races out to save him, in astonishment he is a man. Trevor brings trouble as war follows him and amazons are killed in the fighting. Diana is convinced the war in Trevor’s land is the work of Ares, the god of war. Rescuing him from confinement, taking the things that would be her costume, her and Trevor set off to Europe to fight World War 1 and Diana is off to kill Ares o end this great war to end all war…

Wonder Woman is the most refreshing superhero movie I’ve seen in a long time. Instead of being overly dark, overly bloated with sequel bait and universe building, and needlessly complex, the movie went back to a simple story done right focusing on characters, setting, and story. This is a gorgeous film to behold. The tone is extremely well balanced, knowing how to be serious and tragic when need be, but humorous and light hearted when need be to. A huge problem I had with the first Captain America movie was that I wished it was a more grounded in reality; Wonder Woman does feel much more grounded in a hard gritty war. The trench scene and her taking back the village is one of the most badass debut scenes I’ve ever seen in a superhero movie. The characters are well flushed out but the villains are kinda weak, especially Ares but nowhere as bad as they could be. Overall, I highly recommend Wonder Woman to fans of the genre or people that just want to see a cool movie. I hope writers in the future take note from this film. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes all.

Man of Steel

man of steel

So I’m not a huge Superman fan but I actually love this rendition of the Man of Steel (haha pun). I’m always more inclined to Darker representations or darker characters but for the first go around, I didn’t necessarily see this as a darker take but in a lot of ways a more human take on Superman.

So we get a pretty detailed, 15-20 minute prologue about the destruction of Krypton. Jor-El discovers his world is going to die, tries to tell the super wise elders and they ignore him because a rogue military leader named General Zod tried playing a coup against there government. In a last ditch effort, Jor-El placed the genetic codex of there world inside his newborn son Ka-El and he and his wife sent him off to Earth, where the sun was still young and strong. Zod murdered Jor-El and was captured, banished with his men to the Phantom Zone. Krypton died soon after. Kal landed in Kansas on the Kent farm in Smallville and yep. Well Clark Kent figured out he wasn’t normal, but he wanted to help people and hated that helping may out him to the world so after Pa Kent died, he searched for his own answers. While this goes on, reporter Lois Lane goes through hell tracking down this mysterious savior. Just when Clark begins to understand his true self, a ghost from his parent’s homeworld tracks him down with his army and a desire to rebuild Krypton anyway possible…

If you’re a Superman purist, you will probably fucking hate this movie. Henry Cavill is not Christopher Reeves, and isn’t the warm smiling, super goodie goodie he always seemed to be. He has understandable darker, human moments. He’s scared shitless as a kid when his senses begin tuning up, he’s pissed because he sees a group of guys try getting fresh with a waitress just trying to do her job, and at the end of the day he sat on his couch in a sweat shirt and jeans with a beer and watched the baseball game. For once, Superman was a regular guy to me. He still had a good heart but he was a regular guy, and I think Cavill did that well. I love Michael Shannon as a actor, I think he was great as Zod and he is my favorite DCEU villain to date. Amy Adams was a good Lois Lane but I didn’t buy some of the romantic stuff. I like the anime influences in the cinematography, like the DBZ feel of the fights and that moment before Superman takes flight; essentially Zod’s plan was the same as Lord Slug’s from DBZ The score is fine but can get annoying after awhile. Ok, so the ending really divides people, but I was fine with it.

Overall I really like the movie as a Superman movie. As for it being a universe movie, it does jack shit to establish a universe at play, adding to why the sequel Batman Vs. Superman was such a clusterfuck. If you enjoyed Man of Steel, I seriously recommend checking out Superman: Earth One volume 1, a lot of the movie came from there and it’s a cool book. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes. It’s good to be back.

Where did Torsten go?

where did I go

Hey everyone, I’ve returned after my successful takeover of Gromulous X-14 past Neptune but before Pluto…ok, not really but I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long. Pretty much I’ve been having some work, scheduling problems at my job that ain’t Saviorgaming and, sad to say, I’m a retail slave, it’s the holidays, and life is hell because of that. Also doesn’t help I got pretty sick too, but that I can get over. I’m sorry to say, I can’t do no more near as much for Justice League as I wanted to; I planned a huge extravaganza of DC coverage but even then, kinda pooped on me. BUT Savior and I will be going to the opening day and we should have our split reviews next day. Last thing I want to say, thank all of you for viewing our posts and continuing to come back; all of you are awesome. May the gaming gods bring you glory and check us out today…because those warlords I nerfed on Gromulous are pretty pissed.