Category: Movie Review

Terminator: Genisys

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Ok, I have to jump on a crowded bandwagon of complaints but dammit I have to- who the hell decided on the Genesis spelling? That irked the living crap out of me for almost a year before the movie came out, despite the whacked out plot that pretty much not only pisses on the series but also on the classic Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day . Let’s look to where a great franchise truly caught fire and crashed…

The war against the machines is at its peak. John Conner is getting ready to send his father, Kyle Reese, into the past to save his mother when she was young. Kyle serves his best friend and hero loyally. The timeline has seriously changed however. A T-800 named Pops intercepts the Terminator meant to kill Sarah, who is well trained and prepped. Ahead of time, a T-1000 is sent through that they have to dispatch. Kyle finds out a Terminator was sent to kill Sarah as a child, but Conner sent one prepared to protect her and raise her. It’s not long before Skynet’s new plan is unfolded in the form of Genisys, a new app that will carry out what was meant to happen on Judgement Day while the ultimate hero turned enemy from the future stalks them, John Conner himself.

Don’t watch this movie for a interesting, cohesive plot I beg of you. If you love the first 2 movies, it’s really going to piss you off as much as Dark Fate will. As a action movie, it’s surprisingly entertaining but its strictly because of Schwarzenegger who gives his all to save this dumpster fire. The other actors are fine but terribly misplaced in a crap script. Its a fine action movie to veg out to but as a Terminator sequel its absolute crap. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Us

us

Here we come to another anticipated movie I awaited this year and sadly had to skip on til my Black Friday haul. I’ve heard plenty of hype around Peele’s work so I was excited what he had to bring to the horror table.

Adelaide suffered trauma as a little girl, wandering off from her folks during a beach trip. As a an adult, her husband what’s to return to there summer home near the same beach. Adelaide begrudgingly agrees to go, but the whole time she feels an impending dread. Her suspicions seem valid when a family of strangers shows up on there lawn, all dressed in matching dark red jumpsuits. There night of terror has only just begun against the the greatest enemies we have, ourselves…

I’m going to be blunt here, Us is one hell of a subjective movie. The cinematography and score are great. The family chemistry is genuine and the actors are believable while Lupita Nyong’o steals the show for me as Adelaide and her Tethered self. The plot is downright strange and multiple viewings maybe required to grasp everything to do with the Tethered and there endgame. While I  appreciate the mixture of humor, horror, and WTF Twilight Zone style sci-fi, I feel there was a little too much comedy that hurt some pretty vitally creepy parts. I can’t say for sure if I liked it, but I will say it’s a unique movie and I do respect it and think it deserves a watch. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Brightburn

brightburn

I was so hyped for this movie with an awesome premise, what if Superman was a horror icon instead of a superhero. During Black Friday I went nuts admittedly catching up on all that I missed in movies, one of which being this. Did it live up to my hype but the hype of so many others?

Tory and Kyle Breyer are good folks living in the small town of Brightburn Kansas who wanted nothing more than a child to love. They get there wish in a startling event when a ship crashes in there front yard, giving them there son Brandon. For the first twelve years of his life, Brandon Breyer is a sweet kid until he hears a voice calling out to him from the barn. Not long after he begins discovering marvelous but terrible things about himself and how powerful he truly is. How far will Tory and Kyle go before they see there son maybe wasn’t such a gift from above?

If you saw the trailers and thought this was going to be a horror twist on Man of Steel than I’d say you are kinda right. I do love the concept and the actors do give the movie there all. Brandon Breyer is a cool horror icon who feels unique but also pays tribute to Superman a lot too and there are some messy kills to make him a badass. My biggest issue is the pacing. This movie feels destined to be a full fledged two and a half hours but it’s only 90 minutes. I feel like more could’ve been explained and things like his change happen too suddenly or where the design of his mask came from. It does have a nice after credit scene that gives us a window into a sequel but I hope next time it’s more explained. In the end, while not a mega hit, Brightburn is a fine horror movie and worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Antebellum trailer

I do love when random horror trailers pop up in my YouTube feed. Antebellum looks pretty interesting for a lot of reasons. I like the historical throwbacks rather than looking like a straight demonic ghost story. The cinematography looks good and the producers behind it look promising. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cats trailer 2

Ok, I’m pretty sure I said this last time, but WTF Hollywood. I know Cats is a masterpiece of Broadway musicals and I’m in no way crapping on these talented singers, dancers, and artists hard work, the visuals in this movie genuinely freak me out. What I think does it is that nothing of the makeup looks fake, in fact the make up and prostheses make me not think of Cats but these this are some strange hybrid creatures. I’m pretty curious how this movie will turn out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pure

pure

I have to say, reading the synopsis for this film, watching the trailer, and seeing the movie I can’t help but feel bait and switched. I was expecting something like Stepford Wives meets the Wicker Man. I was pretty damn mistaken…

Shay is on her way to her first Purity Retreat with her dad and sister, a family she is still new to. During this retreat, the girls celebrate there virginity and purity by signing contracts during the forthcoming Purity Ball. With no phones, dressed all in white for those 3 days, they are contorted by the radical beliefs of pastor Seth. One night, Shay and a few girls have some fun and perform a ritual summoning the mythic Lilith Seth always speaks about. Strange things begin to happen as Shay begins to realize this camp may not be a harmless thing after all…

I have some positives before I drop some huge negatives. The cinematography was good and the main actresses were pretty solid. The movie has a lot to say about overbearing men in religious positions of power and some discussions could be started because of this movie. As for the negatives, the rest of the movie. Not much really happens in the movie and what does is either surprisingly tame or just lame; there is a ludicrous amount of obnoxious jump scares throughout. The indie music they play gets annoying quick too, especially when the damn jump scares follow. I can see a lot of the views expressed in this movie pissing someone off pretty bad. A lot of the male actors I felt weren’t great. In the end, I can’t really recommend this Hulu original because it has a good premise but a mostly crap execution. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

DragonBall Z: Wrath of the Dragon

dbz wrath

Hey, wait a second, aren’t I forgetting a movie? Didn’t Broly have a third movie before Super? Why, yes, reader; yes he did. Bio-Broly was white hot liquid dookie and shall not be spoken of on the blog, nor should it be spoken of by anyone…so let’s talk about Wrath of the Dragon instead.

Ages ago there was a dark wizard (not Babadi) who created a unstoppable badass with magic (not Buu) who rampaged a whole world. There was a hero named Tapion who could save everyone from a terrible monster, Hirudegarn who could potentially destroy the universe. When informed of this legend by a mysterious alien, they release Tapion but also half of Hirudegarn. Young Trunks befriends Tapion and restores his confidence but the unstoppable Hirudegarn is complete. Can Tapion and the Z Fighters stop this latest threat?

I have to admit, my recollection of this movie is pretty fuzzy but it was a solid movie. Hirudegarn is cool and it and funny seeing some of the series’s biggest badasses getting beaten down by a torso and a pair of disembodied legs. Tapion was a decent character but he was mostly forgettable. The connection with Trunk and the sword at the end was kinda corny. Overall, it’s not the worst DBZ movie but not the best so it’s Ok to miss. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Failure To Launch (2006)

Some of you may have noticed I am kind of a sucker for romantic comedies. So when I was flipping through Hulu and saw this I needed to check this one out again for old times sake. Last time I saw it I was kind of hammered hanging out with my now ex-wife and now married with two kids and living out of state best friend. So you can see, things have changed quite a bit for the old Savior in the last 13 years. In fact, I wasn’t even Savior yet. I was just a dude working at Gamestop.

Anyway, on to the movie, Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) is a 35-year-old man that lives at home and sells boats for a living. He sells boats and makes pretty good money. He just won’t move out. His parents eventually decide to hire professional help. Enter Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker). Paula specializes in getting men like this to move out.

This goes as you would think it does. After a meet-cute is set up, and a few dates they both start to fall for each other. This is where Tripp decides to end things and take Paula home to find out he lives at home with mom and dad. When Paula doesn’t freak out because of course she already knows. This upsets his parents because they know this is his break up move.

A bit later of course in true romantic comedy fashion, she gets caught by one of his friends and it gets back to him and they stop speaking. They realize how much they love each other and their friends and family put them back together. We all know from the beginning this is how these movies end. The thing is how was the journey to get to this point. The journey is funny, entertaining and the chemistry with the cast just works from top to bottom. There is no real reason not to watch this one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

A Quiet Place

a quiet place

We live in a age where it’s been said every idea has been done. When I saw the trailer for this last year, it looked like a breath of fresh air, especially in a era of remakes, reboots, and sequels.

A Quiet Place is a story of a family’s survival where sound means a swift death. There are mysterious creatures that hunt via sound so silence is the key to living another day; they are blind but incredibly fast and armored with acute hearing. The mother of this family is due to have a baby and the near yeah and a half has taken a toll on the whole family. But what can you do when you’re alone, giving birth, and the monsters come out?

This is a perfect example of a simple premise followed through damn well. The actors are great as a family dealing with tragedy, loss, fear and love in a quiet world; it was impressive how much emotion they conveyed through facial expressions, body language, and sign language. The score is amazing and crucial to the film. It’s filmed fantastically and I love the creature designs. With all these positives, I can say this movie won’t be for everyone. 98% of the movie is told through subtitles, you don’t find out much about the monsters, and it’s based on suspense rather than gore or jump scares. Regardless of how you may feel about it, I highly recommend it and it’s one of the biggest standout horror movies I’ve seen in a while. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Total Recall

total recall

As a kid Arnold Schwarzenegger was my favorite actor, and while he hasn’t been in many great movies in a long time, the dude never sleepwalks through a movie. Surprisingly, unlike many, I never saw Total Recall until a few days ago. I was in for a hell of a ride…

Douglas Quaid is a normal dude with a lame ass job who keeps having strange dreams about Mars. He wants to take a trip to the colonies up there but his wife refuses to go. To spice his dull life up, he goes to the Recall center, where they implant memories of your choosing into your brain to reinvent your reality. Doug ops to be a secret agent. He gets way more than he bargained for when armed men start trying to kill him, he discovers his wife is a spy and corporate assassin, and the memories weren’t fully implanted. Doug heads to Mars, unraveling the reality before him while starting a a revolution on the red planet in the process…

Total Recall is a fun, batshit WTF movie that’s pretty awesome. It’s a good blend of action, suspense and deep sci-fi that never feels preachy. Schwarzenegger sells the movie and makes it fun without losing the cool cerebral points the movie is trying to make. Visually there is some really cool scenery and even a three boobed prostitute. The pacing lags at times and I admit the plot has moments where it’s hard to follow so you have to pay attention more then your typical action movie. Overall, Total Recall is a fun and thoughtful sci-fi action movie I’d recommend checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.