Phantasm

phantasm I will never look at jawas the same again…Phantasm is a cult late 70’s horror movie about a kid named Mike who saw too much. Mikes a normal kid who’s had it rough, his parents recently passed away and for now he lives with his older brother Jody, who besides dealing with his new responsibilities and the death of his parents, is dealing with a friend’s death too. Mike shadows Jody and his best friend Reggie as they attend the funeral. Suddenly Mike sees something disturbing during the funeral procession that none of the adults seem to see; the elderly undertaker lifts the casket out of the hearse and carries it under his arm like it was nothing. And he knows he was being watched. Mike tells Jody what he saw but Jody just assumes his little brother was just pulling his leg. Mike almost believes him until the nightmare, which provokes him to visit the mausoleum of the cemetery; only to be nearly killed by a mysterious blade-pronged floating orb. But even that deadly sphere is nothing compared to the Tall Man, who has it out for Mike and his family…

I fell in love with Phantasm at the tender age of 18 when I first had the pleasure of watching it. It’s not a slasher movie, or a ghost movie, or a even a creature movie. With a simple premise of a kid seeing something bizarre grown ups don’t believe, the movie blows up into a wild mix of compact inter-dimensional zombies, a killer flying ball (that has one of the greatest kills I’ve ever seen in a horror movie), other worlds, a bad ass villain whose almost immortal and immeasurably powerful, and a great ending that makes you wonder what the fuck you just watched. Angus Scrum as the Tall Man is intimidating as hell, wearing a eerie grimace as he slowly walks, rarely speaking in his deep, gruff voice. I love the keyboard score with the suburban atmosphere and the use of darkness. It may not be hugely action packed but visually it’s interesting and the plot is just strange but original. If your a horror fan in the making and your tired of the staples of conventional horror, definitely check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory and beware the Tall Man…oh god beware the Tall Man!

 

Area 51

a51 I must admit, when it comes to this game I’m pretty bias. I love aliens, government conspiracies, zombie plagues, The X Files, and Marilyn Manson, so to have a gave that encompasses all these things hooked me. It’s the only game I’ve ever collected 100% of the hidden collectibles. Of the PlayStation 2/ XBox era, I feel Area 51 is a well overlooked title that at the very least deserves a PlayStation 4/ XBox One re-release.

Area 51 is the story of a monstrous outbreak in the deepest depths of the legendary facility; something is loose and spreading a mutagenic alien virus that turns it’s victims into vicious mutants. A Haz-mat team is dispatched to quell the outbreak and discover the secrets of Area 51 and the deadly Pact man made with the Greys. You play as Ethan Cole, voiced by David Duchovny of the X-Files, a member of Bravo team and soon to be lone survivor.  One by one Cole’s team is killed gruesomely by the forces at hand. When he finds Delta team, there almost seems to be hope until in a final stand against the mutant horde, the creature that began the madness emerges, invulnerable to gunfire, strong and armed with unhuman technology. Again, Cole manages to nearly escape Area 51 until a trap is sprung, his body comes crashing down stories, and Cole awakens to a mutant biting him and suddenly Cole ceases to be fully human. Mutating horribly, he sees a green light surround the body of one of his dead teammates as it levitates and begins speaking to him in a eerily distant voice, that of Edgar, amazingly voiced by Marilyn Manson. Edgar guides Cole towards his only salvation while dragging him through the lies we’ve been raised to believe.

The best part of the game is the voice acting by Duchovny and Manson. Cole begins and ends every chapter with a intimate account which drives the story forward and sets a grim, desperate tone to the narrative. Manson as Edgar is creepy as hell and his presence is ambiguous, not knowing even up until the end if his intentions are for good or evil. The human weaponry is meh but the primary alien weapon, the BBG, is fun firing bursts of alien energy bubbles that latch onto its target and pop; for aiming there’s a niffty feature where you can pull a special laser sight that can bend around angles and corners and ricochet the shot from behind cover. Best of all, it doesn’t require ammo, it recharges fairly quick on it’s own. Being a mutant is fun- increased strength, ability to launch parasites from your hands to steal health, and even the ability to spread the plague, and these abilities stay as long as you slay everything around you with your clawed hands. The hidden myths of area 51 are original and weird ( like aliens being responsible for the JFK assassination with super soldiers created from telepathy and matter manipulation-yep) So what’s the flaw you ask? Well the ending sucks…pretty bad. No real final boss, just a quick beat the clock rush and a cutscene and that’s it. You will have questions but good luck getting those answered 12 years later.

I love the hell out of 90% of this game and I definitely at least recommend watching a play through at the very least. As always may the gaming gods shine glory on you and you’ll know the truth of the moon landing after this shit.

Red Faction 2

rf2 COD before COD (sigh). First, Red Faction 1 and 2 have almost nothing in common except that they are first person shooters about rebellions and the tiny thread of nano experimentation. Red faction 2 is about a mad tyrannical dictator named Chancellor Sopot who is making a army of Nano-tech super soldiers and the band of his of enhanced soldiers gone rogue join the Red Faction. You play as Alias, the demolitions expert of the squad. The first half of the game is pretty routine, get to evil guy and blast his ass…which Sopot’s death is hysterically over the top, especially considering the fact Sopot is a spiting image of Sadam Hussein (this game came out somewhere between late 2002, early to mid 2003). Second half of the game is a split between the squad, when Molov, the head of the squad plans to take over the Commonwealth where Sopot left off and it’s up to Alias and the remainder of the Red Faction to stop him. Red Faction 2 is an inferior sequel. Whereas the first game had more freedom to jump into vehicles and go, the second limits it to a few stages here and there. Also, the first game saving was totally up to player and could be saved anytime, anywhere in the game. Two breaks the game into lengthy stages, which makes saving kind of tricky. The only ability you get as a android is the ability to activate night vision which doesn’t really come in handy too often and can hurt your eyes after a while. The weakest feature is the karma system, you get green stars for good deeds or hidden things and red stars for just killing random people like a dick. I’ve never seen the good ending; the bad ending is kind of funny. As for the goods of the game, Lance Henriksen voices Molov, which is the best voice acting of the game. The shooting is solid and the Battle Armor is a fun ride. Overall it’s a meh game. Fun once but the replay value ain’t really there.

Red Faction

rf1 Red Faction, a game ahead of it’s time, holds up remarkably well remastered on PlayStation 4. Red Faction is the story of Parker, a minor on Mars working for the oppressive company Ultor. The minors are slaves under the heavily armed guards, living in crappy conditions while dying of a mysterious plaque. Revolution strikes in the name of the Red Faction led by Eos, aided by technician turned traitor against Ultor, Hendrix. Parker takes part in the rebellion, and the struggle to survive everything Ultor has to throw at him.

Many of the mechanics of the game still hold up great today, including the shooting, driving, and platforming. The graphics can be ify, even after a touch up. The voice acting is meh to fair with the exception of Dr. Capek, creator of the plaque and the monstrosities you come across later, his brief performance is genuinely creepy. There are genuinely pain in the ass parts of the game including a boss battle against a giant asshole robot that rivals the difficulty of the bosses of Dark Souls- warning he’s a pain in the ass. Gryphon- screw him too. The ending is a tad disappointing but not the worst. If you see Red faction on a Psn sale, pick it up if not for the good story but for the great couch Co-op multiplayer, sometimes it’s just better the old way.

Alien Trilogy

alien tril People that know me best know I’m a humongous Alien fan. Aliens scared me out of bath time as a kid, and screw your boogeyman, I was afraid of a nine foot tall, drooling, acid blooded, phallic two-mouthed monster that wanted to lay eggs in my chest…also the people that know me best would tell you this explains a lot. When my dad bought me a PlayStation, I received three games with it- Tomb Raider, Spyro the Dragon, and Alien Trilogy. By today’s standards, Alien Trilogy’s graphics are complete dogshit. Watching playthroughs on YouTube, I laughed my ass off as a full fledged adult. The gameplay runs similar to classic Doom, not very original but trusty at the time. The motion tracker is a nice addition to to the HUD, even making that iconic, chilling beep when something comes at you. So what’s the story of Alien Trilogy? Well, it’s a disjointed clash of environments either from the Alien Trilogy or inspired by it, which rationally ain’t such a bad thing. Alien and Alien 3 only had one  Xenomorph each and no weapons to real fight with, whereas Aliens there was a horde of the bastards and ammo aplenty; what sick bastard would want to try playing Alien: Isolation on a PlayStation graphics and mechanics? Cheat Codes were a fun addition to the game, giving you unlimited ammo, unlimited health, unlocking every level which gave us the Queen’s liar. So many memories man… what sticks out to me even a decade and a half later are the death scenes. The screen turns to a screen of running blood and every each means of demise changes the foreground: alien death- alien mauls Ripley, roaring at the screen with a bloody face. The Queen stands behind Ripley, tearing her savagely in half with it’s four arms. Trilogy is not the best but if your a huge Alien fan with a PlayStation , give it a try and may the gaming gods be with you all.

A Clockwork Orange

clkwk o bk I will never listen to my old droog Ludwig Van the same after this real horrorshow book and film. Whether you prefer Anthony Burgess’s telling in invented British slang or you want to get blown away by Stanley Kubrick’s trippy visuals and sound, A Clockwork Orange is a story both thought provoking, disturbing, and grim but beautiful. Clockwork is the story of a young ruffian named Alex and his band of droogs who enjoy mischief and chaos in a dystopian future Britain that thankfully never came to be. In fact, Alex is king of his own little world. His droogs follow his every whim, his parents don’t ask questions why he never goes to school, and everything he does gets a slap on the wrist. In one night they beat a homeless man, steal a car, and get into a giant gang brawl with their rival Billy-Boy, and end the night with some spiked “Milkako” (milk). But Alex isn’t just rage and the ol’ ultraviolence, his greatest love is that of Beethoven. Even when his droogs seem to want a change in the group dynamic, Alex doesn’t seem to care, he merely brings them back into line. But one night, one of their escapades goes wrong, a woman dies and Alex is left alone to suffer the consequences, betrayed by his friends. In prison, serving a twenty year sentence Alex discovers a new kind of experimental government treatment for violent criminals that will get him out in a matter of weeks. It uses a mix of violent imagery and audio to subliminal discourage acts of violence, causing feelings of intense pain. But when Beethoven is part of the program, Alex comes into a dilemia. Released back into a populace he misused, beat, and molested with no way to defend himself Alex truly learns the error of his ways as everything bites him in the ass.

Both movie and book are pretty similar with only some minor changes; the book has an additional chapter as an epilogue that carries the story farther than the movie does and Alex is a tad bit younger in the book, which makes some of the horrible things he does a little more disturbing but the movie has the iconic scene of “singing in the rain”. Either way, I love them both. It’s something I think everyone should experience at least once. So until next time, I’m Torsten V, your humble narrator.

clwk o movie

Blue Gender

blue What if told you there was a story that tugged at your heartstrings like the Walking Dead but gave you the satisfaction of Robot-mech suits fighting giant damn near unkillable bug monsters all with a message that humanity blows? Hello, Blue Gender. It’s a short anime series, only about 24-26 episodes long- about a young man named Yuji who goes into cryo- sleep because of a condition he has, promised only to be frozen a year or two until a cure can be discovered. He awakens decades later to a horrific site of the Blue that had taken over, giant armored insect like beasts. Yuji is rescued from the cryo- facility by rescue team lead by Marlene Angel, with the intention of rescuing “Sleepers” like Yuji and taking them to Second Earth, a space station orbiting the planet containing the most valuable of man kind. Yuji discovers the “Sleepers” disease holds the key to possibly destroying the Blue, but first they must traverse there way to second Earth.

Blue Gender, though short, is basically two stories in one. The first half of the story is about the survivors journey to Second Earth; the second half revolves around the Sleepers and how the the ultimate weapon against the Blue, fittingly named the Double-Edge, may not only bring the Blue to there end but humanity’s as well. The first half of the story is grim but thrilling, feeling much like a precursor to the Walking Dead or 28 Days later with a streak of Alien and Pacific Rim thrown in. The problem with the first half is the character of Yuji. Understandably he is distraught by the world and the horrors of the Blue, but there’s a point of being frightened than being a whiny ass bitch. He begins the series as a coward, slowly getting the balls to fight back.  The second half of the series, is much more action based with a rolling thread of psychological horror building up. Yuji’s character changes as his mind is corrupted by the Double-Edge and it’s connection to the Blue, growing more hostile towards Marlene. and gaining a blood lust towards the Blue. Of the four recovered Sleepers, Yuji and another named Tony, seem to be the best chance of destroying the Blue, until Tony starts giving all the way to the Blue’s connection while Marlene help Yuji the connection. Overall the slow is well paced, very sad in the beginning and creepy at the end with a lot of fighting and intense fights and chases. The voice acting and musical score are great, any DBZ fans will enjoy most of the same actors in both. If you want to catch a quick anime, or want to get into anime, Blue Gender is a good place to start.

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Bride of Chucky

Bride  With the first trailer for Cult of Chucky debuting, the seventh movie in the series, I thought it’d be fun to look at the the first installment of the series that veered away from the standard slasher archetype and became the the dark horror comedy it’s known for being today. Chucky’s shredded remains are found by his loving, yet murderous girlfriend Tiffany, played by Jennifer Tilly, who stitches him back together and chants the same spell over the doll’s body to bring him back to life. Alive again, Chucky smothers Tiffany’s goth boy-toy. Briefly the couple has a happy reunion before, in a fit of anger, Tiffany locks Chucky in a baby crib which pisses him off, especially locking him in with a bridal doll. He manages to break free, killing Tiffany by knocking her TV into her bath, but he isn’t done yet: he transfer her soul into the bridal doll. After Tiffany gives herself a makeover, the couple go on a murderous cross country trip to get to Chucky’s original body in New Jersey for the amulet that can transfer them to normal bodies again.

Bride of Chucky is definitely a product of the 90’s, so if your in that age group of being a 90’s kid, you may enjoy it. Don’t watch this if you’re in the mood for intense thrills or a cleaver plot, or remotely want to be scared. You won’t get that here. What you will get are some decent laughs and some good slasher kills. I can’t help but laugh when Tiffany references Martha Stewart when lecturing Chucky on the merrits of being an inventive killer, or when Chucky flips off a stoner and his only response is “Rude fucking doll”; and don’t even get me started on the Chucky and Tiffany sex scene on a bloody rug in front of a fireplace. Brad Dorrif and Jennifer Tilly work great off of each other and I personally love the new bloody stitched Chucky look he sports in Bride and the sequel Seed of Chucky. Bride of Chucky is a guilty pleasure movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously, cuz hey, we all need a laugh with our over the top 90’s slasher films.

Spider-man (N64)

spdyn64 Ah a true classic, the game that truly broke me into Marvel and cemented me as a Spidey fan. Whether on the Nintendo 64 or PlayStation, the game is a gem. The story revolves around a reformed Dr. Octopus premiering a new invention at big Science Expo only to have it stolen by Spider-man, though Peter Parker was standing in the audience the entire time! It’s a set up. It’s up to Spider-man and even Venom to unravel the mystery of Ock’s theft and a invasion of alien symbiotes.

Spider-man can use a wide variety of web techniques like web gloves, web dome, impact web blasts, and even yanking them one of three directions. The web swinging isn’t very impressive but does get you from point A to B, but does require a small amount of web fluid which is a nice touch of realism. The voices are fitting but the voice of Venom shines on; in my opinion its the perfect deep growl Venom deserves. There’s a list of sweet Marvel cameos laced throughout like Daredevil, Human Torch, Punisher, and even THE Stan Lee as the game’s narrator. The villain roster is fun too with his familiar’s like Scorpion, Rhino, Venom, and a pretty cool fusion boss of two of Spider-man’s most dangerous foes. The game’s a definite play for any aspiring comic nerd or any Spidey fan

spdyn64 2 Yay Venom.

What to do with Fantastic 4?

f4 4 I have something of a tradition that has served me well over the past few years when it comes to shitty superhero movies. I go find the comics and check them out for myself if the movie turned out crappy. Each time I’ve done this I’ve been greatly surprised, even finding two of my favorites with Deadpool and Green Lantern. The third was the Fantastic 4.

f4 2  My first experience with Marvel’s first family was the 2005 film. I was alright with it when it first came out; hell, I even enjoyed the sequel. But I couldn’t understand why I felt something was off about it. Years later I was in my local comic shop in downtown Scranton and found Ultimate Fantastic 4, volume 1 on the discount table so I picked it up and was immediately got interested. Between the Ultimate and Marvel Knights series, I came to love the deep sci-fi elements of classic Star Trek or Lost in Space with a dysfunctional family of interesting characters and strange stories. The Fantastic 4 have a wide range of villains from Mole Man, Diablo, Puppet Master, the Thinker, and the Skrull to the planet swallowing Galactus and of course Dr. Doom, one of Marvel’s most iconic villains. Dr. Doom has been in all three big screen adaptations of the 4, and never done remotely right. I can’t blame the actors though because from my understanding there has never a F4 movie made with passion like the Avengers or Iron Man. Pretty much every iteration was made because Fox Studios was about to lose the rights to the franchise and they didn’t want Marvel and essentially Disney to get the rights back. In 2015 it finally exploded in their faces like a trick cigar with :

f4 3    Fant4stic, named by many critics to be one of the worst movies of 2015 but one of the worst superhero movies ever made. Now I started to hear rumors of a fourth iteration of the family coming to light. Whereas Fant4stic focused on a darker, grittier sci-fi version of their origin, this fourth version is allegedly going to revolve around Sue and Reed’s children under the guidance of The Thing and Human Torch is going to be more of a family film. After three consecutive crap-shoots in a row, I’m not a believer. I’d be ecstatic if Marvel retook the rights back like they were able to with Daredevil and Ghost Rider, both formerly Fox properties. Both, reinserted into the TV side of the MCU have been far more successful than as big budget, half assed movies with A-list actors. The Fantastic 4 would fit in especially great now that the cosmic side of Marvel is opening wide with the Guardians of the Galaxy and the upcoming Captain Marvell, especially integrating the Silver Surfer and Galactus would be damn right epic. Dr. Doom alone is an asset all by himself. He has technological intellect to compete with Iron Man, Knowledge of mysticism to contest Dr. Strange and has gone toe to toe with not only Fantastic 4, Iron Man, and Dr. Strange but the X-men, Thor, and the Avengers too. Done properly he could take Loki’s place in the MCU as most memorable villain to date. A huge problem the movies have had so far is trying to condense Doom into an origin villain; he deserves to be developed over a longer period. I would do a simpler villain for a first movie; any of those first few I named would be interesting and could be epic if done with care. I just wanted to share my views and if anyone agrees  or has any ideas what to do with F4, please leave a comment below or hit me up @TorstenV on twitter. May the gaming gods be with you all.

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