Category: Movie Review

Thor: The Dark World

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I’m going to start by saying this: I don’t think this is the worst movie in the MCU as many I’ve heard proclaim it be. My personal vote is tied between Iron Man 3 (2013) and Captain America: the First Avenger , but I digress.

Thor 2 picks up after Avengers with Loki in captivity after he was naughty in New York. Thor is kicking ass and being awesome with his Asgardian buddies while his love interest on Earth, Jane Foster discovers glitches in physics popping up in London; glitches in reality itself. She falls through a glitch and ends up coming into contact with the Ether (the Reality Stone) and it bonds to her. Thor has to help her break free of it but an ancient threat descends on Asgard, the dark elves led by Malekith, leading Thor to save the day again while having to join with Loki again..

Thor 2, much like the first, ain’t nowhere near perfect but I had a lot more fun with this entry. There is more action and laughs and I give it credit, the final fight is one of my favorites in the MCU. The biggest issue is Malekith, who is the definition of cookie-cutter villain who sadly had a hell of a lot of potential that fell flat. Besides him, the characters are solid with great performances again from Hemsworth and Middleston as Thor and Loki. In the end, it’s a fun fantasy movie pure and simple. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wishmaster 3:Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001)

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Wishmaster 3 brings the Djinn back again, tho  played by John Novak this time and honestly the change just isn’t good to me. In fact almost everything about this movie represents a huge fall about the movie for me, minus the fact that I am a dude and the nudity content shot up for the next 2 movies for some unexplained reason. I can only guess this was to cover up for the fact that the story takes a wide turn into ridiculous and nonsensical.

This time a teachers assistant awakens the Djinn and the Djinn now terrorizes a college to find the one that freed him, once again to free his kind to rule the world. Diana however has a plan, and that plan is St. Michael the Archangel. Yup, good old St. Mike shows up with his sword to defeat the Djinn, but he can’t. For some inexplicable reason this angel shows up with no powers other than a magical sword and he can’t even win, he needs this college student to finish him off. The movie just makes no real sense, the death scenes aren’t even all that fun and the movie is a huge step down from the last two. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Thor

thor

We arrived to our final MCU installment before we finally talk Avengers; sadly our local theater closing screwed up us seeing Black Panther til it hits blu-ray. The fourth movie in Phase 1 introduces Thor, god of thunder.

Thor and Loki are the sons of Odin, king of Asgard, a beautiful kingdom in space. Thor is arrogant but powerful as he is set to one day become king; Loki, believing his brother a shitty king, plots to embarrass him and when Thor nearly reignites a war with the frost giants, Odin banishes Thor to earth, stripping him of his power and his hammer  before going into Odin-sleep, leaving the treacherous Loki to reign. It’s up to Thor to reclaim his power and hammer and learn what it is to be king and kick his brother’s ass…

As superhero films go, Thor is a solid film. It’s not great; there is a lot of dialogue that makes it feel a bit longer than it really is and not very much action, though what we get is nice. Where it succeeds is Chris Hemsworth and Tom Middleston as Thor and Loki and visually the movie looks great. I got some good laughs and a few moments I still quote today. In the end, it’s a decent movie that’s pretty much a prequel to Avengers. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wishmaster 2:Evil Never Dies (1999)

Wishmaster 2

Our favorite Djinn is (Andrew Divoff) is back, this time accidentally released by a thief in this made for T.V horror movie. Honestly, it looks like a made for T.V. movie. Released in 1999 it looks like it was made in 1989, tho honestly that is part of its charm. I do however use the word charm vaguely because it will take a special horror movie fan to enjoy this. Rotton tomatoes trashed this movie with a 10%, but it did fair better on IMBd with a 5.1/10.

The story itself isn’t bad, tho again pretty cliche and straight out of the 80’s and quite simpler Djinn gets released, collects souls, attempts to grant the one that released him 3 wishes to release the rest of his kind and take over the world and in true Djinn form all of his wishes are granted very literally and take a quick turn for the gross and deadly as he collects 1000 souls.

The movie however is fun in that gross and weird way, but it isn’t for everyone and doesn’t offer anything your average horror fan hasn’t seen a million times. All in all, however I enjoyed it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Rampage (2018)

Yeah. Endanger all the animals. Primatologist Davis Okoye (Dwayne Johnson) loves animals so much that it’s all beginning to take a toll on his personal life. He doesn’t really get out much, socialize, and despite being a total and complete hunk, go out with any ladies; he mostly keeps to himself, nurtures all of the […]

via Rampage (2018) — Dan the Man’s Movie Reviews

Wishmaster (1997)

wishmaster

Wishmaster is Produced by Wes Craven, and is the only one of the movies with his name attached to it and is the movie about Djinn, more commonly known as genies. Tho not the traditional versions we are used to hearing about. The much older and darker versions that give you exactly what you ask for and are far more vile and evil.

When an opal finds its way to Alex, who finds something odd about it while attempting to appraise it for her boss, she leaves it with a friend, but not before accidentally releasing the before mentioned djinn.

This evil djinn now is now free to grant wishes to collect souls to trap in the opal for his own purposes prior to granting Alex any 3 wishes she desires. This also serves a purpose I don’t want to spoil, just know the movie does contain a pretty respectable body count and is quite gory and graphic,as you would expect from any Wes Craven movie.

The acting, visuals and sound all have a nice 80’s throw back feel to them while maintaining a true 90’s look. Clearly in today’s world you won’t be impressed by any of this but you won’t exactly be sad to see it. This one is worth checking out if you haven’t seen it, it and the sequels are currently on Hulu. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 666: Issac’s Return

children corn 6

So this will be the final review I’m doing for the Children of the Corn series. There are others in the series and I’m sure the series isn’t dead, but for me the series came down to a fair conclusion with the sixth installment.

As the title suggests, Issac returns to his flock almost 20 years later after being in a coma since the original film. Hannah, a young woman has returned to Gatlin in search for her mother who was one of Issac’s original disciples. The town is full of his reformed flock and their offspring. When Hannah comes, Issac awakens and he foretells a prophecy that she will mate with He Who Walks Behind The Rows and pretty much create the Anti-Christ…

Ok, for a movie called Children of the Corn, there really aren’t any children in this movie. Just saying. On a whole, I got to say I feel it’s the best since the original and that’s mainly because of the charisma of Issac’s original actor. I liked the way we discover the fallout on the kids from the original cult. The story and acting are solid with easily the best effects of the series. If you enjoy the first movie, definitely check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The WaterBoy (1998)

the waterboy

The WaterBoy is one of the older Adam Sandler movies, back when he may or may not have still been funny depending on who you talk to since some people never really found him funny. Roger Ebert and Rotten Tomatoes gave this one horrible scores and IMBd was slightly kinder with a 6.1/10.

As for me? Well this one was hit and miss for me. It had its moments really that made me laugh,but all in all the movie was just more of Adam Sandler just sort of being a goof ball. The story itself is pretty ridiculous.  Bobby plays a guy obsessed with making water the best it could possibly be. He also happens to have a bit of a temper which results in some interesting skill at tackling ability which I am also pretty positive most of what he does is against the rules of college football.

Don’t get me wrong, the movie has its funny moments, and when I was younger Sandler yelling “Stop making fun of me” before drop kicking people made me laugh, but 20 years later I can seem to care as much. Don’t get me wrong, there are worse movies out there, and I still enjoy this one. However this one was better when I was younger. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 5: Fields of Terror

children corn 5

So, wanna talk about a movie Eva Mendes doesn’t want to. In fact I gotta say there’s been a few famous starlets in the series before they were famous. Naomi Watts starred in Children of the Corn 4: The Gathering and Charlize Theron had a small bit part in Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest That being said, this review kinda sums up why I left the series with 7: these movies become stale real quick. Some friends who are supposed to be college age but we know are pushing 30 break down in a town, they go for help, come back and car is destroyed, kids lead them to weird cult leader played the late David Carradine and yadda yadda. I can’t lie folks, this movie bored the shit out of me. It’s not offensively terrible but it just couldn’t hold my attention, and that was at the height of my fandom. It’s the least WTF of the series, it’s not particularly gory or outlandish as others which kind of hurts the movie and I really can’t remember any new kind of piece to the lore. Carradine gives the best performance of the movie but isn’t there much and Eva Mendes is laughably bored but when these are the best features of your film, is it really worth remembering? In the end, it’s worth skipping, you aren’t missing much. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: the beginning

tcm the beginning

Lat year I talked about Texas Chainsaw Massacre when Tobe Hooper passed away; Tobe Hooper, R.I.P . This year I revisit the series after the passing of R Lee Ermey, Sheriff Hoyt, R.I.P R Lee Ermey

As the title suggests, the movie is devoted to showing how the diabolical Hewitt family of the remake came to power as well as the birth of Thomas Hewitt, the man who would become Leatherface. Tommy suffers from several birth defects, cast away and thrown into a dumpster after his mother dies during birth, in a slaughterhouse nonetheless. He is found and brought to the Hewitt family and raised as his own, deformed and mute, growing up to return to the slaughterhouse. But hard times have come to Travis County and the house closes, and after years of taking shit, Tommy snaps and the madness begins. Tommy’s uncle Charlie kills the town sheriff and takes his authority and identity out on the ghost town while coming across four teens on there way to enlist in Vietnam. In this encounter we see how things came to be, as well as the pivotal moment Tommy took his first face and picked up the chainsaw, his only real friend.

2006 was a bloody time in horror with Saw, Hostel, and the Hills Have Eyes being all the rage and this movie fits the trend. As far as A-B prequels go, it’s pretty solid. It’s very much a movie where you are invested in the family more than the heroes and I found myself much more attached to them then the people you should have been, although the Hewitts are the straight up bad guys here. Ermey as Hoyt and Andrew Brynairski as Leatherface were the highlights for me. It’s a VERY bloody and brutal movie so don’t watch it if guts make you sick. Overall, I thought it was a underrated slasher film that deserves a second look. To finish this review I want to quote R Lee Ermey as Hoyt, my favorite line from the movie and one that’s come to me a few times in real life, when all is said and done..

” Nobody will remember what we say here today, but they are sure as shit remember what we do,” – Sheriff Hoyt.