Category: Opinion

Torsten’s game of 2017

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Happy new year one and all. To wrap up the year, since I saw Savior gave his favorite game a shout out, I thought I would too. It was a really hard tie between Injustice 2 and South Park: Fractured but whole but I have to say South Park farted its way through my heart. The game made me laugh myself to where I feared my pants were wet but besides that, like much of South Park, there was a clever satire involved around the Superhero film craze and honestly, it’s the best superhero story I’ve heard all year. As we venture into 2018, let’s remember while video games give us trophies, a way to prove our skills against the world, and test or brains and reflexes, but at the end of the day, it how we have fun. Let’s have fun in 2018 and may the gaming gods bring you glory this year.

My Game of the Year for 2017

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Everyone has a choice for game of the year 2017, some are obvious some are not. Obviously I can only choose from games I have personally played (sorry Nintendo) and for me there is only one possibility, and only one game that would come close to a 10/10 score (tho i’d never give a 10/10 that implies perfect and perfect doesn’t exist) and that game is Persona 5. The game was beautiful, had an amazing story the sound was top notch. But there is one thing this game has that many other amazing games just didn’t match up to. You could easily log over 100 hours into persona 5 playing the game normally and not finish it. There were a lot of great games in 2017, but for me there was just no other choice. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Devil’s Rejects

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There is very few times in film where the sequel is absolutely better than the original. This is one of those times. With a better characters, story, music, and a darker, more intense situations elevate this to a pretty memorable, and disturbing western horror movie.

Rejects begins with the Firefly family’s homestead getting raided by the police in a violent shootout, lead by Sheriff Wydell whose brother was killed in the last movie. With there mama captured, Otis and Baby are on the run and trying to find Captain Spaulding, while getting there kicks off by terrorizing and torturing a traveling country group. Wydell, filling with rage begins losing himself as he starts going down his own dark path as he tries to kill the rest of the family.

As I said in the intro, pretty much everything got a lot better this time time around. While Otis, Baby, and Spaulding are horrible, unlikable people you do see the humanity in them by the end, while Wydell is a decent lawman who loses his by the end. The 70’s music and gritty cinematography add an extra layer to the movie. Bill Mosely stole the show for me as Otis, who reminded me of the late Charles Manson in his malevolent, satanic nature. Yes, this movie is vulgar as hell and incredibly disturbing and intense but damn it is a great movie that will leave you breathless by the conclusion by far it’s the best film I’ve seen from Zombie. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes to all.

Happy New Year!

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You guys know the routine, I always like to skip reviewing stuff to give you guys a more personal message before a holiday. I wrote this one in advance tho because honestly, may be a bit busy with the kids which is code for savior may be way to drunk to type. Don’t worry tho, I always stay home and never drive. Seriously guys this year has been a blast and next year I am sure will be even more amazing. So while you guys are out tonight just a little advice from me to you. Ladies, watch you drinks. Never leave them unattended. Watch out for your friends, both male and female. and above all else, stay safe out there. Drink plenty of water tonight before you go out and have a Gatorade or something for in the morning. It helps with hangovers. Most importantly stay safe out there, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

House of 1000 Corpses

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I grew up a 90’s numetal kid that I still love to this day, one of my favorites being Rob Zombie. As well as being a numetal fan, I also love horror so when I saw the trailers for Rob Zombie’s first horror film I was full of bright, cheery, optimism. What came of it?

House of 1000 Corpses is essentially Rob Zombie’s grungier, more vulgar take on Texas Chainsaw Massacre. People break down on the road in the middle of nowhere and are at the mercy of a family of madmen known as the Firefly Family. The most famous character of this family is Captain Spalding, a clown who runs a strange sideshow attraction.

I have to be honest, though it has become a cult classic over the years, I can’t say I like House of 1000 Corpses. Some of the imagery is cool and I do appreciate the throwback to old school horror exploitation, I felt there wasn’t much to differentiate it from movies like TCM, except the vulgarity which there is a shitload of. I can’t really recommend it unless you like Rob Zombie as a artist, other than that, skip to the sequel. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Zombeavers

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The title says it all. The poster says it more. This is a movie about friggin zombie beavers. 3 sorority sisters go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway but it just so happens the local beavers ran afoul with some toxic waste and became zombies.

I don’t care what anyone says, this was a fun B movie. There’s plenty of one liners, blood, boobs, and bad language to get a few good laughs. Once you see a zombie beaver jump out of a wooden floor and chew a guy’s nuts off, you can officially say you probably saw everything.  Of course the acting ain’t great but it gets the job done and the effects alone are funny with obviously fake beavers and blood that looks like cherry Kool Aid. It’s a fun movie for the horror fan that needs a laugh. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sausage Party

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This was a weird ass way to start a night. It looks like a children’s movie and even sounds like one at first with upbeat song and dance number but then I realized it was so much more than that. Sausage Party is the story of food at grocery store awaiting to be taken away to the “great beyond” over the 4th of July weekend. For them its heaven, or is it once they realize the “gods” aren’t kind and in fact slaughter and eat them because, you know, food…

I know I’m labeling this review a comedy. In fact, if you enjoy Seth Rogan’s other comedies, you will love this, but I enjoy the movie strictly for it’s brilliant satire and some deep questions. Being a fat weirdo from Scranton, I eat quite a bit but I can’t say I ever thought of the pain and suffering of food. Some of the scenes have a gruesome, and heinous feel to them, even though it’s just a potato getting peeled or a hot dog getting boiled.  Because of it taking place in a grocery store, we get to see how all the food interacts with each other, a cleaver metaphor for the different races we have and at the end it all blows up into a argument over god and heaven. I applaud it for making me think rather than laugh, which sadly I didn’t do much of except for some outrageous scenes halfway through and up. All in all, it was a cool movie with damn good animation that dared to be different and I say give it a shot. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Dead Space 3

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This hurt. A lot. Not as much as Aliens: Colonial Marines but this was the other turd in my 22nd birthday bucket as well as being something of a accidental precursor to the horror trash fire that was Resident Evil 6 .

So Issac’s life sucks, I think anyone who played the last 2 games can agree, but he is wallowing in it as the Unitologists unleash a new attack. Issac must venture to remote ice planet Tau Volantis to find answers to the origin of this Necromorph crap while fighting the armed Unitologists and see your love of Issac Clarke die in this final installment.

So before I shit on most of this game, there are some cool things about it. I like now having to actually build weapons of your own design or previous game’s weapons. That was neat. Despite the new emphasis on third person cover shooting, the mechanics do work reasonable well and aren’t just tossed in there carelessly. Well, that sums up the good. Besides that, I hated the shit out of this game. Issac Clarke becomes whiny and annoying like Chris Redfield in RE6, hell he looks like discount bagain bin Chris in this game if I’m gonna be honest. In fact, I checked out of this game pretty early when it comes to caring about plot. Also, I get this happens on a snow planet but why the hell does Issac look like a Power Rangers reject for almost a third of the game? The horror aspect is GONE, replaced by not scary Necromorphs and gun fodder for you and your AI buddy Carver to mow down because hey, Resident Evil did it so why not. As for the new crafting mechanics, real help those are when they cut your carrying capacity in half and now you can only carry two guns at a time. At times the game was fun but damn was it a terrible end to a great series and from some research, I found out much of this bullshit was the devs fault. I heard what Dead Space 3 was supposed to be compared to this and I screamed in outrage. If you loved the other 2, end it with 2. Leave this to die in bargain bin hell where it belongs. May the gaming gods bring you glory and friends don’t let friends play Dead Space 3.

Dead Space 2

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How can you possibly amp up all of the madness of classic Dead Space? A massive new environment, crazier space exploits, and new characters help.

Issac Clarke has been found adrift in space and brought aboard The Sprawl, a massive space station. But he is not truly alone, being constantly haunted by Nicole and Issac tries to keep his sanity, until the unthinkable happens: Necromorphs are running loose on the Sprawl. Issac discovers he brought there to create a new marker for the Unitologists, the religious zealots that believe the marker is the key to bringing ll life together in perfect harmony. On the run, Issac meets feisty Ellie and fellow marker-victim Stross as they have to join together and stop the head of the station Tideman from unleashing the new marker.

Dead Space 2 could have been a superior sequel. In many ways it is. Much of the combat mechanics are either just as fluid or improved and small things have been added that I really enjoyed and appreciated like your objective tracker now being able to display the way to stores, benches, and save points too or your stasis module now having a nifty recharge capability built in. Space plays a much bigger part this time. You can blast windows and jettison yours foes into space, but watch out because if you don’t hit the shutter switches in time your ass is grass. Instead of jumping from point to point and magnetically walking around in vacuums like before, we now have have a personal flight system I found much easier, enjoyable, and damn epic than before. So what’s the catch? The story starts incredibly strong. In fact, its quite ballsy. But the horror dwindles about half way through and Nicole goes from being menacing to just plain damn annoying. The end boss is a lame ass gimme that brings you down a bit. I highly recommend Dead Space 2 but I doubt you will like it as much as the first. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Dead Space: Downfall

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I’m going to admit, I’m not a fan of most video game cross media tie ins. Most somehow usually don’t translate well into other medias. Dead Space + anime+ horror film = a confused Torsten at first, but they all came together as one giant terror sundae.

Downfall is an anime prequel film about what happened to the Ishimura before Issac’s team showed up. The story begins with the discovery of the marker on Aegis 7 and how it screws with the minds of the crew, leading to murders and hallucinations. Our main character is head of security Alissa Vincent and her team as they start battling the creatures. We also follow Dr. Kyne, a alley we had in the game, who witnessed the madness of the marker and has to face off against the ship’s captain, losing his mind under his belief in the marker.

Dead Space: Downfall does remarkably well standing alone as a horror movie and a prequel to the game. They did amazing recreating locations, voices, and maintaining the look of the game. If you love the game, you’ll appreciate this film. If you love gory anime, you also won’t be disappointed. This movie is fast, disturbing, and full of good horror and characters. I highly recommend it to any fan of the games or anyone who wants to watch some creepy anime and may the gaming gods bring you glory.