Tag: Movie Review

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

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Guardians of the Galaxy is the story of, well i’m not sure you can call them heroes since they are mostly criminals. But hey let us for the sake of argument call them heroes. Any way after stealing a mysterious orb earthling Peter Quill also known as Star Lord is thrown together with others to form The guardians of the Galaxy in order fend of Ronan The Accuser and his attempts to take over everything. The movie itself is hilarious and well made tho it is far from perfect.

The most amazing part of the whole thing honestly is that a comic serious that most people outside the comic world really knew nothing about was so well received and loved by many. For me personally when I heard Batista the professional wrestler  was going to be in the movie I had very little hope it would be any good but damn was I wrong. If some how you missed this one, go check it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bright (2017)

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Bright is another Netflix movie that I really need to stop underestimating. The movie of course isn’t perfect, and Will Smith basically just played Will Smith again as he always does. The story is also quite predictable to the point that I knew the ending about 30 minutes in and that is never a good thing.

All that aside the movie has a pretty original idea for  movie in this day and age. Instead of the usual cop movie on Earth we have an Earth where humans orcs and elves all exist side by side, but in a rather nice twist they always have. Magic is greatly condemned however as about 2000 years ago a dark figure attempted to conquer the world using it. The orcs are basically regulated to being viewed as 3nd class citizens because they sided with the dark one. It is also quite implied that racism doesn’t exist so much as discrimination against species does, where Elves see themselves superior everyone and orcs being pretty much the lowest and humans somewhere in the middle.

Will Smith returns to work with his partner that happens to be the first ever orc police officer which you can imagine does not make the other police happy, all of which are human. Will Smiths character is also not happy since he was shot on duty while his partner bought a burrito and the suspect escaped. No the movie is not perfect, but the action is nice and for those that care to look it is quite thought provoking, but not in your face thought provoking. It is all pretty subtle while the actual story of them attempting to stop rogue elves from recovering a magic wand to revive the dark one to take over the world. This one is worth a watch, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alienate (2016)

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I am just going to be 100% honest with you. This movie is one of those movies that is a complete failure that could have been a damn good movie. The story is basically about a man obsessed with his work that leaves on a business trip pretty much as his marriage fails. The down side? There happens to be an alien invasion. Now He struggles to make his way home as the world falls apart. The invasion itself is pretty smartly done. While planes are knocked out of the sky and something is placed in the water to pacify the population people panic.

The down side is I am pretty sure this movie was made by a bunch of students that got some funding and new actors willing to work for free and experience. The acting wasn’t all that good, but that could be because the script itself was pretty lackluster. The special effects also left much to be desired. The movie it self pretty much served very little purpose except to exist. That being said, the movie has a lot of potential. The story had potential and with some time it and the characters could have been turned into something memorable and the invasion itself was one of the better thought out plans I have personally come across. In the end it is simply a B movie that may be worth checking out,but don’t expect a great or even a good flick. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Piranha 3D (2010)

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This movie is a classic B movie. It has stars you know, but not really anyone huge. Like that fat kid from stand by me that was in sliders  (Jerry O’Connell) and Christopher Lloyd playing a crazy seeming fish doctor. It has a story that blatantly makes no real sense, but has a slight ring of seems plausible with prehistoric fish being trapped in a sort of cave that are released into a lake that go on a feeding frenzy. What is the only thing missing? A huge party full of college kids, naked women, booze and badly done deaths with mountains of death. Actually, that is pretty much the main plot of the story.

See while all this is going on Jerrys character is pretty much this movies version of the guy that started Girls Gone Wild and he is at this lake for spring break to throw a party with barely legal girls to shoot his new video, and everyone wants in. The fish just weren’t planned on. The story is barely passable the acting is exactly what you would expect and the movie is pretty much about parties and death. It is simply pointless fun, death and women.It is a fun watch tho, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jaws: The Revenge

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Remember how I said Jaws 3 was almost the worst Jaws movie? Here is why. They decided there needed to be a 4th one, titled Jaws the Revenge. It is pretty much universally seen as the worst one, and no aside what some think ‘Cruel Jaws” the movie about a tiger shark is not actually a Jaws movie despite some areas marketing this Italian film as such.

With our kind sheriff dead and his family moved down to the Caribbean after many years have passed we find that one of his sons has become a ocean researcher. And wouldn’t you know it, a giant man eating Great White Shark is hunting him. The movie looks nice and the acting is solid. That kind of is where the good parts end. The story is more out there than the last and it may be the most pointless sequel to ever be created. Tho I do have to admit the ending it self was fun, the series should have ended with Jaws 2 and I find myself desperately hoping a 5 or a reboot never finds its way to creation. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jaws 3-D (1983)

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There is just so much to hate about this movie. Even the title sucks. Tossing that “-D” after 3 wasn’t clever, and the 3-D aspect wasn’t even done well. Jaws 3 was almost the worst Jaws movie ever made. Almost.

This time around a baby great white shark swims into a soon to be open park and they of course decide that despite one never having survived being in captivity they are going to keep the little guy. P.E.T.A. is gonna be pissed. Anyway after a bunch of this mom shows up and wants her kid back, which honestly I am not even sure sharks do. All hell soon breaks loose and she kills a bunch of people, even shatters the glass in an underwater tunnel. The movie is ridiculous from beginning to end makes very little sense and as I said before the 3-D aspect isn’t even well done. If you want to see all the Jaws movies watch it, but don’t go in expecting all that much besides a body count. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Jaws 2 (1978)

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Jaws 2 is as you can imagine is the next installment in the Jaws series. I know, shocking. A few years after the first shark incident we have a serious of boat accidents, but our good chief knows better. Sadly our small town of Amity once again does not believe him. Even his own family is sure he just has sharks on the brain. And who can blame him? The man came face to face with a man eating Great White that killed people with no remorse.

He of course is not wrong, a shark is back, and it is hungry. Unlike the first Jaws tho Jaws 2 was met with mixed reviews and never got the same recognition as the original. I can understand why, while the movies visuals and such were still good for their time the story and everything else was very much been there done that and offered nothing new. The movie wasn’t bad and I think it was unfairly criticized at times because of how ground breaking the first was, but it was definitely not as good. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Tooken (2015)

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Spoof movies are always pretty much hit or miss. Part of the issue is you really have to be a fan to begin with. I am always on the fence, some like most of the Scary Movie series I enjoyed, others were pretty damn horrible. This was not as good as Scary Movie but I was pleasantly surprised by how good the movie actually was.

As you may have guessed by the title, this is obviously a spoof of Taken. If the name and the picture didn’t give it away, you should probably skip the movie to be honest. Quite a few of the jokes simply wouldn’t mean much having not seen Taken.

The story itself is about what you would expect. Exaggerated goofball knock off of Liam Neeson tries to win back his family only to discover his ex wife is now engaged to an ex porn star. All of this is of course extremely over blown to the extreme like any other spoof movie. Hell at one point there is a commercial for a male enhancement pill  that claims to simply combine the two strongest known to man. The bad guy is known as Brownfinger, you can assume why all on your own I am sure and of course the daughter just wants to get laid and the boyfriend ends up in a body cast because like every dads fantasy he throws him out a window. The movie isn’t for everyone and it is by no means good, it is simply good enough. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jaws (1975)

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Jaws, the 1975 classic that made multiple generations afraid to even get in swimming pools let alone the ocean. Actually I am pretty sure sharks have died specifically because of this movie, and that isn’t a joke.  As for the story, we all know it. Small island town terrorized by a huge great white shark. New sheriff backs down from the mayor and a whole bunch of people die. The town then hires a shark hunter named Quint to kill it, but they are going to need a bigger boat.

The movie itself for its time was a master piece and to this day stands the test of time. After all, there is a reason that over 40 years later people still watch this movie and it routinely makes best of list right? Tho admittedly I never really got how this was a horror story I suppose I am truly out voted on that one. If you somehow have not seen this movie, stop waiting, hop on Netflix and start watching. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Longest Yard (2005)

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The 2005 remake of a 1974 classic (same name) about an Ex-NFL football player turned convict after he was put on probation for throwing a football game and later for stealing his girlfriends car and going for a drunk joyride which very much violated his probation. His plan is to go to jail, keep his head down, do his time and get out. The football loving warden has a different plan.

Adam Sandler is tasked with with putting together a football team of convicts to play the guards in a football game that will get them ready for their prison football league. Joined by returning Burt Reynolds whom played the main character in original as well as Chris rock, Terry Crews and a host of professional wrestlers and at least 1 rapper the movie is pretty much an all star cast of famous people. It also happens to be pretty damn funny.

The movie isn’t without its faults mind you, for example the usual prison humor gets a bit old for example and the warden character while well played is poorly written and stereotypical to the extreme, but that may just be my personal pet peeve. It is a great movie tho, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.