Home Sweet Hell

This freaking movie was in both the horror and comedy section. It is not a horror movie. It is a pretty good movie,but not a horror movie.

That being said a guy with the last name of a high class alcohol has a wife is way hotter than he could ever get cheats on her with a woman that may actually be even more hot. Now I can’t really blame him. This chick is INSANE. Like sex is scheduled in advanced and can in no way be changed. She controls pretty much every aspect of his life.

Of course this goes well for awhile until inevitably out of his league but slightly less crazy woman number 2 decides she wants money or she is telling his wife.

Now I am going to stop here, because believe it or not that is simply where the story gets started. The rest is full of drugs, murder, and intrigue. While not quite a horror movie and really isn’t truly funny the movie itself is pretty solid. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

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The Haunting in Cawdor

Normally I watch a movie, tell you guys a bit about it and tell you what I think. This time I thought maybe the fault is with me. I must have missed something. So I looked up a short synopsis. Nope I understood the movie. But I figured I don’t want to lie or steer you guys wrong. Maybe I am just wrong here. You guys may be starting to trust me. So I looked up a few other reviews. Nope. Pretty universal. This movie sucks. Its shit. Don’t watch it. Here is a quick run down anyway.

Bunch of criminals score enough good faith points to get sent to a special camp rehabilitate. Mostly petty stuff mind you, DUI , drugs. Mostly kids that became adults. 1 however was a victim of abuse and killed someone. Enter Camp Cawdor. Part of the rehab is to put on a play, Shakespeare this time. 90 days of working at the camp 20 miles from anywhere, working on the play then performing for the nearest town.

After finding a tape our main woman Vivian finds an old VHS tape. (I’ve provided an image for the young kids.)

The tape appears to show someone being murdered. What follows is a weird tale of betrayal, possibly inappropriate relationships, stolen drugs and broken hearts.

The movie sucked tho. The acting wasn’t bad, and the start of the movie was pretty enjoyable. But after over an hour of being extremely slow it finally starts to pick up but when it does you won’t care. The plot twist isn’t good the murder isn’t scary or even clever and worst of all the ending feels forced. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Freddie vs Jason, The Freddie side.

As kids there were plenty of arguments. Who would win? Freddie or Jason Voorhees? Obviously we would never know. Why would they even fight in the first place? One slaughters campers at Crystal lake mostly and the other, people over on Elm street. It didn’t even make sense. People just wanted it in the 80’s and 90’s. But then the 2000’s came.

Four years after his daughter kills him Freddie is in his own personal hell, both literally and figuratively. Meanwhile the town of Springwood has erased the memory of Freddie and all traces of his existence. The fear that fuels the nightmare machine is gone. Freddie is gone. Nothing can bring him back.

Freddie however has one last plan. If his children aren’t afraid of him he is powerless to do anything. But there is a sleeping man, a sleeping monster that can change it all. The plan is simple. That plan is Jason Voorhees.

Send the sleeping Jason to Springwood, make them afraid. Rise from the ashes and return to his former glory. There is just one small flaw that the master of dreams didn’t consider. Jason won’t kill just one or two of Freddie’s children. He will kill them all. And Freddie can’t allow that.

Join Torsten later for the Jason half of the review and our take on who won the fight if anyone. Best wishes and may the gaming gods being you a glorious Halloween.

Abby Grace (2016)

Abby Grace. The name just kind of rolls off the tongue. Seriously just say it out loud a couple times. Did you try it? Yea it really doesn’t, just wanted to see if you would try it.

Anyway now that I had my fun the movie itself is about a psychiatrist that goes back home after her mom dies to help out her very OCD brother that has a phobia of the outside world. Don’t feel bad about the mom dying by the way, she was insane and is responsible for the state of the brother.

After the brother complains for a few days about putting fresh flowers on moms grave and his sister grudgingly doing it her dog brings home a little music box he digs up and leaves it on bros bed. This is where shit turns bad. He also has a very strange obsession with coconut water.

As always I try to give you guys some details while avoiding as many details as possible. Many times I don’t even include names, unfortunately this story very much requires a couple small ones. If you don’t want them please stop reading here. I will place a random picture at the beginning and end of the spoilers section. Skip to after the 2nd picture if you just want to know if I feel the movie is worth watching.

Back in 1919 the house used to be a boarding school until the headmistress killed herself and in the 1940’s a little girl killed her entire family. The house however is not in itself haunted, but an object that is in or near the house itself is that every so often allows a poltergeist to go on a killing spree.

And we are done with spoilers. Anyway while the story is a pretty standard ghost story it is fairly fun and well done with some nice twist and turns. If you are a fan of those types of movies its a pretty good movie to see. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Diary of the Dead

Another great Romero zombie movie. I actually reviewed these way out of order, the main characters from Survival of the Dead actually show up to rob these college kids in Diary of the dead which is a scene shown in both movies.

Another small issue is for a large part of this movie they are attempting to get to Scranton Pennsylvania. Torsten and Myself are both from Scranton, very few people would come here and it is not as nice as the movie makes it look.

This movie actually depicts the beginning of the zombie apocalypse itself, starting with the first attack and people finding out about it. In fact at first our college amigos and amigas don’t even believe its real.

This movie actually demonstrates why I don’t hang out with film people. One guy is so obsessed with filming he actually almost lets his friends and himself die a few times.

The visuals and sound are pretty standard for a Romero movie. Not spectacular but good enough and the story is a simple tale of a group trying to get home while dealing with learning how to survive, the dangers of both zombies and humanity and of course how it feels to be part of a whole new dangerous world. I suggest you check this one out..in the proper order obviously. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Anger of the Dead (2015)

If you are a complete movie snob that demands an original story with high tier sound, visuals and acting even from Indy films stop reading this review, assume you won’t enjoy this movie and move on to another review and movie. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, this movie simply isn’t for you.

That all being said while it is simply another average zombie flick in every way possible average is called average for a reason. Plenty of zombie movies are worse and it is still a good enough movie.

The movie essentially has 2 plots at once, one involving a pregnant woman and her boyfriend and their attempt to survive in a world gone crazy. Desperately looking for a place that is safe to give birth to a child and raise it safely is their force and they will lose friends along the way.

The other plot is much darker. A man trying to save his sick wife at a sort of sanctuary where all kinds of test are run by a sort of paramilitary group. Beatings and rape are also not uncommon.

There is a very heavy The Walking Dead feel to the movie and the ending leaves much to be desired, tho admittedly most Indy films seem to have twist endings for no other reason than to have them. The movie however is worth a quick watch if you have the time. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bubba the Redneck Werewolf

First thing first, this movie is in no way shape or form to be taken seriously. If you couldn’t tell by the name the opening song will quickly prove that. This is a only a horror movie in the sense that there is a werewolf and the Devil. It is truly a comedy first.

Bubba is just a guy that lives at way out past the corner of the middle of nowhere and you got a purdy mouth. He works at a dog kennel, misses his girlfriend and is not man enough to keep her. He doesn’t even own proper scissors to maintain his cut off flannel shirt. Least that is what his ex woman’s new man tells him right before knocking him out.

Bubba knocks back a few drinks, and makes a deal with the devil. To be the strongest toughest guy in the city with a full head of hair. He is more than happy to wake up as a werewolf.

After some weird antics that nobody even finds odd like ripping out a robbers eyes or knocking another robbers head off with the first robbers arm. Tho the bar keep gets a bit pissed about the mess when he eats the robbers…Fine with the eating part. Pissed about the mess.

Mean while since hell is full the Devil is making deals all over town and collecting souls in Florida, which is apparently normal in Florida. Even in real life weird stuff happens in Florida.

Some of the highlights of weirdness is a random zombie apocalypse that isn’t quite what it seems that results in probably around 20 or so deaths, poor Todd Hu getting his head punched in due to an old Abbot and Costello skit and what can only be described as bestiality. Regardless if you like the horror comedy genre it is worth a watch. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.