torstenvblog

Batman: Arkham Asylum

arkham asylum book

So to start off, yes this is the book that inspired the epic Arkham video games. If you’ve played the game as a fun fact, the Amadeus Arkham recordings from the game came from the book. Both are extremely good but the differences are pretty heavy, outside the fact one is a video game and one is a graphic novel.

So the graphic novel follows a night where Batman is called by Commissioner Gordon for a special problem: Joker is holding the orderlies of Arkham Asylum hostage and says the only person he will deliver demands to is the Batman. Against Gordon’s wishes, Batman ventures in, getting caught in Joker’s game. Game is simple, Batman has to survive a one night long game of hide and seek inside the asylum with the inmates loose, wanting a piece of the Caped Crusader that locked them away. As this story is being told, we recount the eerie, Poe like story of how the asylum’s founder Amadeus Arkham lost his mind and became twisted.

The game has a different touch to the plot. Batman captures Joker one night, taking him to the asylum, weary of how easy it was. Turns out Joker used Batman to get access to the asylum, where he has been having a new permutation of Bane’s serum Venom to be created, making goons into raging beasts. Alone it’s up to Batman to face the horde of crazed inmates, armed thugs, and villains and stop Joker from unleashing Titan on Gotham.

Either way you look at it, Arkham Asylum is an amazing story. The book is written extremely well by one of my favorite writers, Grant Morrison and the illustrations are freaky as hell and abstract. The book does well to draw tension. The game is one of the best games I’ve ever played with great graphics, addictive combat, and great returning voice performances by Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill, arguably the definitive Batman and Joker.There are very tense, eerie moments in the game and Scarecrow’s part scared the hell out of me first time I played it. Overall, I highly recommend giving either or a read or play through. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

scarecrow

Freddy Vs Jason (Jason’s side)

freddy vs jason

So, I know I’m skipping ahead a bit but me and Savior decided to join sides and debate who really hand the upper hand, Elm street’s #1 Christmas fan or Crystal Lake’s mascot. So Savior covered Freddy’s side, so I’m going to cover things through Jason’s perspective.

So sleeping peacefully, minding his own business, he gets woken up by his mom telling him to go to Elm Street because kids are off drinkin, smokin, and screwin like usaul. So Jason wakes up grouchy and walks all the way to Elm Street to go teach the kids of 1428 Elm about the dangers of alcohol and premarital sex…with his machete. He taught a couple of those pesky kids good but than the cops came, worried about some hoodlum named Fred Kruger. Jason, being a morally upstanding citizen, kept a chopping, finding his way to a rave the kids were throwing in a cornfield. And they didn’t invite him, which was rude. So he went to the rave anyway, because obviously the postal service lost his invitation in the mail, and oh what a ball he had with the youth of Springwood. Good times were had by all but the same group his mom wanted him to talk to ran away again, for some reason to the local psycheward. Jason met a few more of them there but one strange young man put him to sleep and there was his mom…but not quite. It was that dastardly villain Freddy the good people of Springwood were afraid. Jason couldn’t leave Springwood at the hands of this madman so he faced the rude burn victim and kicked his ass a bit. But Freddy’s dream magic sent him back to the crummy day he drowned. But those nice kids woke him up with Freddy in his old stomping grounds none the less. After a epic but bloody battle Jason triumphed, leaving the lake with Freddy’s head in hand…

Happy Halloween and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jason goes to Hell: the Final Friday

friday9

Spoiler alert, this isn’t the last Jason movie either. Jason goes to hell is New Line’s first foray in the Jason franchise and arguably the strangest.

It begins with our typical Jason movie setup; hot naked chick undressing at Crystal Lake and of course Jason shows up We get the standard chase until we find out it’s really a set up; Jason gets mowed down by the most brutal gunning down I’ve seen since Predator, and Jason gets blown to pieces. End of story right? Well, no. Jason’s spirit starts possessing people and continues on his usual murder spree on this time hunting down the last Voorhees who can actually send him to hell and finish his ass.

Honestly, this doesn’t feel like a Jason movie. There’s a lot of spirit talk in this one and I can’t really buy much of what comes out the story of this movie. Most Jason fans I know like this movie but it just wasn’t for me. The kills are fine but nothing special. I don’t like Jason’s design in this, for the very little we do see of him. My favorite part of it was the ending before credits where Freddy grabs Jason’s mask and pulls it under. Other than that, it’s just kinda there to me. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Friday the 13th part 7: The New Blood.

friday7

So, curious what became of Tommy Jarvis and the Sheriff’s daughter? Well,they don’t come back. Instead psychics got involved in this installment and well, it’s the first movie to have Kane Hodder play Jason.

So a little girl named Tina is being chased down by her abusive asshole dad at there lake house at of course, Crystal Lake. Tina, with her mind, collapses the dock her dad is on and kills him on accident. Years later Tina comes back with her mom and douchebag doctor to help Tina get past her past; her doctor secretly is recording her powers to gain fame quick. In another fit, Tina tries wishing for her father to return, instead bring Jason back instead. No one believes Tina when she tells them she has visions of Jason killing people, not her mom, or her doctor, or the house of teens down the way. Good grief.

New Blood is probably my least favorite of the series for one solid reason: it’s watered down as hell when it comes to the killing. I’ve heard stories how the MPAA cracked down pretty hard on Paramount because of all of the noise the series caused with it’s excessive gore and nudity, even going so far as to threaten a X rating for the film. Tina is a decent enough hero and some of the effects at the end fight are cool but other than that I really can’t say I like the other characters. Hodder brings a menacing, hulking stature to Jason which sets him apart in my mind. Jason unmasked at the end is the coolest of the series in my opinion. Otherwise, if you cut out the psychic crap, the movie ain’t too memorable but meh. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Friday the 13th part 6: Jason Lives

friday6

So remember how part 5 ended with Jason becoming the new Jason at the end and that little note that Jason got cremated? Well guess what, part 6 didn’t.

Tommy Jarvis is back with a different actor and a new starting point to ensure Jason’s dead. Him and a friend go to Jason’s grave to make sure he’s really dead. Even though his corpse is rotted and decayed as hell, Tommy felt the need to desecrate his corpse further until a rogue bolt of lightening hit a metal rod left in Jason, reviving him from the dead. He comes back stronger and quickly starts another rampage through Forest Green (they renamed Crystal Lake). Tommy runs afoul with the Sheriff who fails to believe Jason is now a OP zombie shuffling about with his trusty hockey mask and machete. The Sheriff’s daughter takes a liking to Tommy and tries to help him finish Jason’s ass once and for all…again.

So again, Jason Lives is more funnier than scary but this time it’s trying to actually be funny. Jarvis is written to be more charismatic than before and pretty cool. There’s a lot of fun kills complemented with moments of meta humor and slapstick. Overall, I gotta say Jason Lives is probably the most enjoyable of the series and I will highly recommend it for a movie night with friends. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Friday the 13th part 5: The New Beginning

friday5

So like every horror movie before and after it, The Final Chapter wasn’t the final chapter for very long. In this case, roughly a year before the title became obsolete. Part 5 is considered by many the Black Sheep of the franchise and all considering part 6 wipes it out pretty much. Still, if you need a laugh, this maybe the slasher film for you.

Part 5 picks up with a grown up, emotionally and psychologically damaged Tommy Jarvis as he is taken to a home where people with psychological issues can get back into society. Tommy is nearly mute and can be pron to violent outbursts when fucked with, while being haunted by images of Jason. Tommy is here to restart his life but it ain’t easy; there’s rednecks that hate them for being so close, one of the patients is murdered by a deranged handyman who I guess really hated chocolate bars, and there is a killer on the loose…did Jason return?

Ok, spoilers, no he didn’t. For horror, this movie sucks. The kills are either lame or flat out funny as hell like a Michael Jackson wannabe getting speared in a portapotty. A lot of the dialogue feels like came straight out of a porno and there’s a lot of…nudity in it. The twist ain’t great and though I appreciate where the story tried going, it felt too clumsy for it to feel really effective. In the end, part 5 is funny and awkward but that’s about it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory because damn those enchiladas!

Friday the 13th part 4: the Final Chapter

friday4

So I got two shout outs for this review today, one for fan and dear friend Hatter who let me borrow the collection so I can refresh myself on the series and the other to Savior, who watched this puppy with me as part of our traditional Halloween marathon. You all kick major ass.

So there’s a recap as usual and every movie I get bummed aren’t narrarated by the Dragonball Z narrator. Everyone is dead after part 3, and the bodies are carted off to the local hospital morgue. Like Halloween 2, Jason isn’t actually dead and kills his way out back to his home of Crystal Lake. A group of teens rent a nice house across from the happy Jarvis family, the youngest Tommy will be the focus of the net few films. And there’s a dude named Rob lurking around hunting Jason because he killed his sister. Well, Jason had fun with this I bet…

Final Chapter maybe my favorite of the series. In a lot of ways, it’s the most suspenseful of the series and may I say, one of the goriest. The kills are sweet. The teens next door are goofy 80’s teens you don’t mind getting to know but also don’t mind Jason knocking off. I actually felt a bit of sympathy for the Jarvis’s. Young Cory Feldman was really good as Tommy Jarvis and sad at the end when he loses it and murders the shit out of Jason. Jason is at one of his best in this, being a badass. If you never checked the series out and you wanted to check a Jason movie out, this is my pick where to start. In other words, this movie ain’t a dead fuck. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Firefly Family sequel finally?

devils reject

So Rob Zombie came out a few days ago and said we were going to be getting a sequel to arguably the best movie he ever did, The Devil’s Rejects, or the concluding chapter of the Firefly Family’s trilogy. Now I have a sorted relationship with Zombie’s work: I loved his earlier music, wasn’t a fan of House of 1000 Corpses, loved Devil’s Rejects, appreciated aspects of his remake of Halloween but hated the ever loving shit out of 2. I stopped after that.

Now I gotta say, this news confused the shit out of me. Devil’s Rejects ended perfectly. Everyone died, the ending was sad but fitting. So my my first thought was, hey maybe it’s a prequel? But that doesn’t seem to be the case. So here’s my question, how the hell do you continue where Reject’s left off if all of you’re principle characters are dead? I have no idea. Personally, I think Rob Zombie should leave well enough alone. I felt he had a similar problem with Halloween; if the story ended with just the first, the story itself would’ve been much more effective on a whole. Halloween 2 muddied the waters and made me hate the first movie for a long time. I fear the same could happen with a Rejects sequel. But, I’m just me. I hope Zombie pulls it off and it’s awesome. Thank you as always and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

5 of my favorite monsters (Torsten edition)

I gotta give my partner and big brother Savior credit, he did a countdown of his favorite monsters that was pretty cool. So I thought I’d take a jump into the fray and talk about some of my favorites as well. In no particular order, though if you followed my work so far you may know I got a undying love for 1 in particular, so let’s begin with them.

alien c1 1 Xenomorph (Alien)- what can I say except that no creature in my mind represents beauty and dread like the creature ripped from Giger’s nightmarish design, the perfect organism.

2. Werewolf- tragic beasts that are man by day and monsters by night. My attraction to these creatures is that it is totally beyond there control; they are as much victims as those they slaughter. Also, they look epic and weren’t they a bitchin part of Skyrim?

3. Necromorph (Dead Space trilogy)- how do we make zombies scary again? Mix them with the sporadic nature of Carpenter’s Thing and put the bastards in space. Always in various fucked up forms, Necromorphs are a flexible zombie alternative to haunt your dreams.

nemesis 4. Nemesis (Resident Evil 3)- speaking of zombie alternatives, how about a zombie on steroids in a trench coat with long tentacles, a rocket launcher, and a screw you attitude. Also I forgot to mention, he doesn’t go down at all. Almost nothing stops this behemoth.

5. Frankenstein’s monster- a classic, tragic beast constructed from the dead body parts stolen by a young man curious about life and death. The monster has been brought to life many times but I can’t help but be fascinated by the idea and he is pretty epic in the book, a Karloff was amazing.

South Park: The Fractured But Whole

$fractured$

Sometimes I feel like games stopped being fun, but I’m happy to tell you South Park: The Fractured But Whole is one hell of a fun game. Sequel to Stick of Truth, Fractured picks up directly after Stick ends and plays off of the superhero craze, playing mage to Civil War with Coon and Friends battling the Freedom Pals going head to head to see who can score the best superhero franchise. We customize our hero and battle the treachery of 6th graders, crab people, and a towel going through some serious withdrawl, as well the evil of Professor Chaos and the dark plot to bring South Park down. First, this game brings all the vulgar but cleaver humor of the show to the game and keeps fresh throughout. Seriously, with the graphics it looks and feels like you are in the show which is cool as hell. The combat is fun and easy to pick up. It’s turn based and feels like a chess game with positioning which was really cool, giving you opportunities to gather extra damage from knocking enemies into each other or there surroundings for extra damage. The powers can be blended and can be used to vary your experience pretty well. It’s a rare thing these days when games are simply fun but this definitely is and I highly recommend it for its creativity, humor, and fun combat. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.