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Teen Titans

Ah this is what I’m talking about, Teen Titans was one of the coolest cartoons I had growing up in the early 2000’s. Robin, Starfire, Beastboy, Raven, and Cyborg (the reason I’m bringing the show up in the first place.)- 5 young superhero friends that band together to fight evil. If you happened to read my top 10 favorite DC villains list, you would have seen Terra on there and Deathstroke on my list of DC badasses but besides them, for a lot of us the show was our introduction to other villains such as Brother Blood, H.I.V.E, Trigun, ending in a huge fight against the Brotherhood of Evil. Meanwhile other heroes popped up like Bumblebee, Aqualad, Speedy, and Hotspot. Teen Titans was one of those rare instances where the goofy anime styled comedy balanced perfectly with thick, grim story lines. Season 2 is a perfect example, introducing Terra as a volatile young woman who can’t control her powers but forms a budding romantic relationship with Beastboy, disappearing and returning at the end, her powers harnessed but at the cost of joining the sinister Slade who we hadn’t heard from his defeat in the previous season. Our heroes are flushed out well, beginning the show almost like archetypes, but growing throughout the show. I’ve always been pissed they never released the full seasons on hard copy, as far as I know, or streamed it on Netflix or Hulu. If you can watch the series, I seriously recommend it as probably the second best animated DC cartoon show I’ve ever seen. May the gaming gods bring you glory my friends.

Revenge of the nerds

revenge of the nerds

My all time favorite comedy that every nerd needs to see at least once. Revenge of the nerds follows two best friends, Louis and Gilbert, that go start Adams College. It’s the school of there dreams, but every for every nerd there’s a jock. Enter the Alpha Betas, the big men on campus, the football players who drunkenly burn there own frat house down. Because they are your stereotypical assholes, they commander the freshmen house, casting them all out, including Louis and Gilbert. The refugees are forced to live in the gym until they get adopted by fraternities of there own; one by one people get taken but the lonely handful of nerds. So they have to band together and find a nice place of there own, but those damn Alpha Betas won’t let them be. For every dick act of the A-Bs, the nerds find a hilarious way to retaliate whether it’s stealing there cheerleaders panties, pouring liquid heat in there jock straps, or kicking there asses in the homecoming carnival. For how funny as hell the movie is, there is a good message I’d like to share with you: if you’re a nerd, be proud. I never forgot that. The nerds are all likable and Louis and Gilbert have great chemistry as best friends. The hi jinks are funny and raunchy but never really vulgar like many of today’s comedies so younger folks can get away with watching it. Overall, if you need a good laugh I seriously recommend it to get in touch with your inner nerd.

The killing of a sacred deer teaser

sacred deer

So my lil sis told me about a cool trailer she saw a few days ago, so I had to check it out and I gotta say I was intrigued. Colin Farrel and Nicole Kidman star in a “Revenge saga” where Farrel plays a surgeon and Kidman has a family that seems to be in mourning over a wrongfully diseased family member…I think. The trailer was pretty damn vague. I did enjoy the eerie song the girl sings throughout the trailer, not being purposefully creepy like Elm Street but honestly pleasant which makes it more effective. I can’t tell you what I expect but I can tell you it got interested so it did it’s job. I’ll be keeping an eye out on the upcoming trailers for Sacred Deer, but it looks to have promise.

Dredd

dredd

Dredd is probably one of the most criminally underrated superhero films of all time. As you can tell by the poster, this is a much darker, faithful adaptation to the comic book source material. Karl Urban replaces Stallone as a much more mysterious, quieter, more intimidating Judge Dredd this time around. The plot is simple: a deranged drug lord named Mama holds in a massive apartment complex with a army of armed assholes and it’s up to Dredd and rookie Judge Anderson to take survive the onslaught of assholes, corrupt Judges, and Mama. The movie is simple but great. The action is intense and the kills are bloody. Whereas the first movie was more epic in scope, this one mainly takes place in one location but it never really gets boring. Dredd’s look is a lot more toned down and realistic; Karl Urban is the perfect Judge Dredd I have to say. Mama is a dark, scary ass villain and I take my hat off to Lena Headey who is probably the best female super villain I’ve seen to date. Olivia Thirlby is a good contrast to Urban’s Dredd while still being a good character on her own. I have really one small gripe about the movie; Ma-Ma’s drug causes you to experience extreme Slow-Mo which at first can be annoying but it isn’t overused and usually has a satisfyingly messy payoff. Overall, I highly recommend Dredd as a underrated superhero action movie. Thanks for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Judge Dredd

judge dread

First I gotta start this review by giving a shout out to my friend Autobot who celebrated his birthday yesterday and gave me the idea to do today’s reviews; love ya kid. So I know the 90’s Judge Dredd film adaptation isn’t really looked upon highly- ok, I’ll bite, I know it’s in that so bad it’s good category- but that and Batman Forever made me want to create a superhero story of my own. I saw both films at the local drive-in with my parents and on big screen it was something mind blowing. Dredd’s first appearance on screen riding through the flames on his Lawmaster was imprinted in my memory as one of the most epic things I’ve ever seen.

Judge Dredd takes place in Mega City; a massive, overpopulated city where crime and anarchy takes hold on a daily basis. To keep peace and order, there are a police force that are judge, jury, and executioner all in one- the Judges, Joseph Dredd being a legend among them. Our story revolves around Dredd having to team with his best friend/partner/hidden crush Hershey and wimpy hacker Fergee have to team up to thwart a plot to dismantle the Judges from inside, leading Dredd to battle the law, Cursed Earth outside the city, and his own blood in the form of psychotic ex- Judge Rico.

So the question, how does this movie hold up 22 years later- oh shit I’m old- well it holds up fine as a 90’s action superhero movie. It ain’t Steele after all. It doesn’t hold to the dark, gritty, serious tone of the source material very much. We see Stallone’s face a lot, he smiles, there’s a ass load of one liners that hit and miss and the costume is a bit ornate but I still enjoy it. A lot of the acting is over the top and even cooky but I can’t help but like Stallone as Dredd; Max Von Sydow as Chief Justice was the best performance as well as a really good performance from Rob Schneider as Fergee. The Angel Family in the desert…I love them. A family of god loving cannibals that look like a futuristic Hills Have Eyes Family. My favorite part by far. Overall if you want a fun 90’s action movie, go for it, but if you want the real Dredd experience, watch the 2012 movie with Karl Urban- review later today. Thanks for reading, and as always, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Left Alive teaser

left alive

Within the last couple of days we got a teaser for Square Enix’s newest project: Left Alive. First mention of Square Enix, my thoughts go directly to Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts, beautiful, colorful locations, and deep stories. That’s just me. Left Alive we get the hint some kind of war is happening. I noticed an emphasis on machines, so maybe a Terminator influence? I will not lie, the title automatically made me think of a zombie type of game, which c’mon, no more zombies. The trailer did it’s job, it made me curious to figure what the hell it’s about. Like what I would expect from the company, what I saw of it looked great and the combat looked somewhat like Just Cause, so it should be interesting. These were just some quick thoughts I had on the the first teaser and I’m sure I’ll talk more about it in the future. May the gaming gods bring you glory my friends.

Soma- what the hell is it? Week one

soma2

So my first week playing the game horror game Soma, and I’m pretty divided by it. I can’t completely tell you what the full plot is but I can tell you that the bastard above was a hour long pain in my ass. The story involves people consciousnesses into machines and it is eerie how the machines we encounter the blur the line between the perceptions of man and machine and reality. I’ve been chased by a “brute”, a ape like robot and I’ve noticed the great/shitty way the game handles its horror element. When nearby an enemy machine, Jarret’s brain starts freaking out, making the screen appear to glitch and blur, these affects intensifying the more closer you get. When caught, the screen full on glitches, flashing pixalated, creepy images during a loud scratching screech. The bastard above should not be directly looked at; his image blurs and grows brighter as he gets closer but your sight gets slowed and sways when your near and this bastard is always nearby. The environments are disorienting to begin with but this crap was too much. Take four 151 shots in a row, spin around in a haunted fun house hall three times and try finding your way out, welcome to that hour of my life. But I carry on. Thanks for listening to my rant and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Darling

darling

So I was floating around the Netflix horror section late one night and saw a short movie in black and white I never heard of. It begins with a warning about bright flashes and hallucinatory imagery. This movie is Darling. It’s the strange story of a young woman taking care of mansion that may or may not be haunted by the devil as she randomly comes across a guy that may have raped her, causing her to go totally bat shit and kill him. The movie is very ambiguous, leaving a lot of things left to interpretation which is pretty cool. It’s essentially the story of this girl’s intense unraveling of her sanity but there’s a possible demonic edge which is kinda cool. The movie is filmed beautifully and the score compliments it well. I can say this movie really ain’t for everyone, in fact I can say 9 of 10 people I know wouldn’t last it but I enjoyed it for the cinematography and sound and WTF plot. If you want to see something strange, watch this but if you aren’t into low budget art films, this ain’t for you.

Eclipse

eclipse

So if I had to pick a best out of the Twilight series, Eclipse, book 3, would probably be my favorite. There is some compelling narration, decent lore building, and a fair amount of tension to leads to…shit. Two books building up to a grand ass revenge and it’s over in a paragraph. No epic fight, hell the fight were hoping for we never see; the movie at least did us that solid. But I need to do this right and summarize the plot of this. Ah hell, here it goes…

So months passed since New Moon ended, Victoria is still on the loose, the werewolves still hate the Cullens, and teen bullshit. Edward and Bella still going back and forth bout the whole I wanna be a vampire/ I have no soul cuz I’m a monster crap. Also Jacob is all emo again because Bella ain’t into dog sex, she’s all into screwing rich dead people. I always thought Bella was a gold-digger myself. Anyway, they’re also almost graduating from school and apparently people are disappearing in the city next to Forks. So Jacob pops up at there school, letting it out that the two factions almost had it out trying to get Victoria. Soon after, they discover Victoria is stalking Bella, Blah blah blah Victoria is trying to make an army of newborn crack vampires to kill Bella so the Cullens and werewolves have to band together and stop her. Oh and they get engaged while Jacob tries to jump into her pants.

Ok, so Eclipse is the best of the four. There is a fair sense of tension and some cool lore sprinkled throughout. BUT the dialogue is crappy, all the characters just feel whiny, all built tensions just squeak fart out instead of being a cool climax. The movie is full of the bad emo acting the Twilight movies are famous for but we do a decent fight at the end. The first couple minutes of the movie are a nice touch that actually can trick you into thinking its a horror- HAHAHA don’t fall for it. This movie maybe directed by David Slade, director of the totally underrated 30 days of Night movie but he couldn’t even save this damn movie. Anyway, thank you for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hellsing Ultimate

Hellsing ult

It’s been awhile but I’m finally back with part three of my best and worst of vampires thread. Let’s face it, if you caught my last two parts you can probably guess what part three and four of the worst will be. It’s quite obvious really. But the best parts likely aren’t. So I’m here to talk a little bit about my favorite interpretation of Dracula ever, Alucard. Specifically Hellsing Ultimate; I’ve never actually watched the first anime but I’ve been told by many that Ultimate, which follows the manga more closely than the first, is far superior. So Hellsing Ultimate is the story of the Hellsing Organization led by Integra Windgates Hellsing, descendant of the famous Van Helsing continuing to keep Great Britain safe from the creatures of the night. Her personal guard and secret weapon is Alucard, a very powerful, ancient vampire that has served the Helsings for ages back. Occasionally killing lesser vampires and fighting the never ending grudge with rival and nemesis Alexander Anderson, a catholic priest with grand regenerative abilities from a rival organization. Alucard, known for being cruel and ruthless, takes pity on a dying police woman named Seras Victoria and turns her into vampire instead of letting her die. We follow Alucard and the rest of the Hellsing Organization as a devastating plot unfolds involving Nazi vampires, a over militarized Vatican, an android and treason from within themselves.

Holy shit this anime is crazy but so incredible it has to be seen. Crispin Freeman as Alucard steals the show for me. In fact, the main characters are all deep and well developed. This series avoids a lot of modern day vampire tropes which is refreshing: Alucard DOES NOT fall in love wit either female lead nor is a “sensitive monster”, the female leads are strong, ground, thoughtful women- not damsels in distress, and Alucard isn’t creepy or brooding. He’s a fucking pimp but isn’t Bela Lagosi. I love that Hellsing Ultimate pulls no punches dealing with religious, sexual, political, or historical subject matter but keeps an elegance to it. Instead of standard 30 minute episodes, there is only 10 but each is like a mini movie which is cool. Definitely check out Hellsing Ultimate if you like Dracula, vampires, crazy shit, or bloody anime. As always thank you for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.