Category: Game reviews

I Am Your President (PS5 Review)

I Am Your President on PS5 from Ultimate Publishing is another game they sent to me that I always appreciate.

The concept of the game is quite simple. You are the president of the United States of America. Pick a party, or take a test to see where you fall on the spectrum, and try to keep your people happy. The decisions you make will move you around the political spectrum.

First thing you need to know, the game is satirical in nature. If you try to take it too seriously, you will probably feel like the game is taking a political stance when it really isn’t. Nobody really acts or talks this way. At one point, I was forced to make a decision on an oil spill that my son-in-law was taking the blame for, and none of the options were at all realistic. Half the fun of the game was doing outlandish stuff like trying to nuke Canada while entering a random trade agreement with Sri Lanka and watching China, for some inexplicable reason, decide it was best friends with, I think, it was Ireland. Also, Mexico and Mongolia, for some reason, hated each other.

Where this game falls apart is that the controls are horrible. Many times, I would hit a button to enter one menu and end up somewhere else entirely. Trying to do anything on the map was sort of like playing chess with a pigeon; even when I could do it sometimes, the game seemed to do whatever it wanted anyway.

Graphically, it was cute, though I enjoyed watching cardboard cutouts of people walk in and out of my office like they were on serious business. I still laugh when a random door opens that looks like a wall opens in the Oval Office, and some guy in a suit bounces into my office to tell me he has horrible news, and all that happened was some minor event like my wife is mad at me for working late.

Scoring the game kinda hurts too, because as much fun as I had with the game, I also felt endless frustration with it. The game is a 5/10 experience that, with some updates to the controls, would easily make it much better. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Utopia Must Fall (Steam Review)

Utopia Must Fall is an early access title from Pixeljam that they were kind enough to send me as their newest update hit, which is full of all sorts of good stuff. Full disclosure, I had never heard of or played the game until this update, and honestly, I wish I had.

One of my earliest memories as a kid was playing games on an old Intelevision with my dad, like Missile Command. One where you tried to protect this sort of city from destruction by shooting missiles at incoming objects. This is important because Utopia Must Fall will see you protecting the last city of humanity from aliens by shooting them with a giant machine gun and laser turrets, etc. It also uses what’s called a V99 Engine to make vector graphics that give it that very old school look and feel while letting it control in a very modern way.

Each day, you get new upgrades for your city that you can pick. Maybe you will give yourself more nukes, which can be used to kill large groups but are limited in supply, or maybe you will choose to get a higher firing rate. I always like to get a couple of laser auto cannons that will help kill aliens for me. There is no wrong answer. I have tried many combinations, and it truly comes down to your playstyle and how aggressive you choose to be. It is possible to build your city in such a way that your shields take care of much of the work. I don’t necessarily agree with trying this route because if you don’t do it right it will end your run very quickly, but it can be done.

Now, as always, I do rate these games based on how they function, their price point, and what they are attempting to do. That being said, I will give this game a 9/10 but with an *. The game costs about $7 and is worth every penny of it. I am having a blast with it and love the game; its Steam review reflects that as well. However, if you don’t like games like this, you aren’t going to enjoy it. This won’t be the game that brings you around. If you do, however, or if you look at it and think it might be fun. It is a must-buy. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Revenge of the Savage Planet Xbox Review

Revenge of the Savage Planet, which you can check out on Game Pass, was sent to me by the fine folks over at Racoon Logic Studios. It’s the type of game I can’t even begin to explain adequately. It’s a platformer, a shooter, and some building involved. It has a wild sense of humor. You are going to die, and you probably won’t even care.

The game starts off explaining how you are an employee being sent to a new planet to colonize it. You will have all the support of the company that you can possibly need, and when you arrive in Nue Florida, it will already be ready to go. You can hit the ground running. You are promptly fired when you arrive.

Don’t worry, you can keep the stuff that’s there; turns out shipping it all back is considered way too expensive. It is now you against the world. Well, multiple worlds. Search everywhere, as there is a lot for you to find. You can use your trusty scanner to discover facts about things, like how pieces of your destroyed ship would still be functional if they were attached to your ship.

I had a ton of fun with this game, although it can be a bit repetitive by yourself. That is where the co-op comes in, both online and split screen. This game is fun alone, but much more fun with a friend. Graphically, the game is beautiful, and it controls nicely. I don’t have any real complaints about t/his game, and with it being free on Game Pass, it is well worth checking out this 8/10 title. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Precinct Xbox Review

The Precinct is a game I’ve been watching for a while, and Kwalee was kind enough to send me a copy to check out a little bit ago. As you all know I like to get that out of the way up front and share my appreciation before we go any further.

The story itself is straight out of any cop movie or show from the 1980s and 90s. A new rookie joins the force; his father used to belong to the same precinct and was a hero to many. Cut down by the lawless criminals of the city for daring to fight the corruption. The son returns to finish what his father started and find the ones responsible for his death. That being said, I am a bit older than many of you, and you might not have seen a lot of those movies.

The game itself is straightforward: choose a beat for the day, collect evidence while hunting down graffiti artists, writing parking tickets, or chasing down stolen vehicles, trying to outrun the law. Beat up or shoot the occasion drug dealer. You know what, this is getting out of hand, the city of Averno is kind of a hellhole. Just go clean it up and collect evidence.

Also, don’t really worry about collateral damage. While shooting Random people isn’t a good idea, I’ve run over many people during police chases and flipped plenty of civilians’ cars. Nobody seems overly concerned about it. Stop and frisking random people also isn’t such a big deal. It even grants experience when you happen to be right.

The game controls very well, and I never felt like I couldn’t control my car or aim my weapon the way I wanted. The option to just turn down random call-outs is nice as well. Sometimes I just wanted to relax and focus on writing parking tickets to advance what I was doing, so I let the guy steal a car. It wasn’t my car after all. Progress never really felt stunted or not rewarded, either. Unlocking new weapons and cars felt natural, and my character always felt like he was improving.

My only real complaint comes from the fact that charging people with crimes felt like it was too predetermined. A few times, someone would flee in their car, and despite seeing a few crimes, charging them with those crimes was deemed wrong. How can a guy run from me and hit 7 other cars and me, but I can’t charge him with a hit and run?

That being said, for $30, this game is fantastic. Easily an 8/10 experience that I will probably continue to play like I do GTA games just because they are fun to screw around with. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bastide (early access) Steam Review

Bastide was sent to me by Medieval Nexus, and honestly, I probably should take that as a threat. I do appreciate it, though. The game is probably just the worst city-building strategy game I have ever played. My PC has well beyond the recommended specs, but even on the lowest settings, it runs like my computer is struggling to survive a Diddy party.

Moving beyond this, multiple buildings would just stop producing stuff. Not because I ran out of stuff it needed or I didn’t have workers, if I built a new one, they would go back to producing just fine. It was like the game suddenly stopped recognizing my buildings.

The game is also missing some basic functions, it seems. You can’t really control your people directly when you get attacked, and there also isn’t a way to rally them to fight, either, so producing weapons sometimes feels pointless. I’ve lost plenty of people to small attacks, people rather than fight, they would just stand there and get slaughtered by a force much smaller than my town.

Normally, I’d say the game is in early access, and there is plenty of time to turn it around. This is a screenshot I took today as I write this review.

For 5 years, this game has been in Early Access alpha. Your $13 is better spent supporting someone else. This game is barely playable, 3/10. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Augmented Empire Steam Review

Augmented Empire for Steam was sent to me by Coatsink and is a turn-based strategy RPG. The story is pretty straightforward: you live in Savannah in the year 2058. The world is a corrupt place, divided by class and who you know, more than by ability and what people deserve or have earned. Your choices will change all that, maybe.

The game plays great, as no time during my time did I experience any sort of stutters, slowdowns, or crashing. The hand-drawn maps and backgrounds are gorgeous as well.

The game is rather short, and the battles are pretty simplistic compared to other games in the genre. Only 26 battles, which can be beaten in about 10 hours. This isn’t bad, though the game only has a price tag of about $8.

Now you all know by now when I review games, I review them based on games around a similar price point. The problem I have here is that I really don’t have anything to compare this with. The story is good, but not great. It doesn’t do anything new, but what it does is solid and worth a playthrough. The graphics aren’t great but for the price they are damned good. The voice acting is comparable to games at twice the price, easily.

I find myself wanting to give this game a 9/10. The game isn’t the best, but it is one of the best games out there at this price point. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengence

How in the hell did we get a sequel? Normally, I’d start with a synopsis, but truth be told, there isn’t much of one. Marshall and Washington reunite begrudgingly to take on a new syndicate and Tommy Wiseau. I just explained the movie and saved you a lot of boredom.

Samurai Cop 2 misses a lot of what made the first great. There is bad acting and garish effects but nothing that reaches into the legendary WTF territory as the first. The pacing is atrocious. Halfway through Savior and I kept asking when it would be over. Tommy Wiseau was…Tommy Wiseau and though he’s the final villain, he is too annoying to be funny. There are a lot of callbacks that don’t go anywhere. In the end , forget this movie exists and stay with the original. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Samurai Cop

When the violent Katana Gang goes too far, it’s up to 2 mispaired cops to bring them down: the laid back Frank Washington and his partner Joe Marshall, the Samurai Cop, trained in Japan… ok let’s stop there.

Samurai Cop absolutely earned its legendary status in B movie culture. It’s got everything a bad movie can ask for: Godzilla-style dubbing, random sex scenes, hilariously bad fight scenes, WTF dialogue, porno level level line deliveries and hair that is clearly a wig. This movie is a laugh riot that thankfully doesn’t try to take itself seriously. Savior and I had a blast reciting lines from it between laughing our asses off at the bad fights and the mankini scenes. There’s not much to say for this Lethal Weapon knock off except it’s a damn fun time with friends that lives up to B movie legend. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Polterguys (Xbox Review)

Polterguys Possession Party is a party game sent to me by Amplified Games, which is always appreciated. The game itself is pretty simple to get into. You play as a ghost that possesses random items, and you must avoid a larger ghost. Last one standing wins.

This sounds like it would be easy, but there will, however, be other people trying to sabotage you. Fences that can be moved on you as you try to escape, power-ups that can be used against you (or by you), or even levers that can launch you out of hiding places just as the ghost shows up. These are all possibilities of what can be done to you. They can also be done by you.

There honestly isn’t a ton to be said about this game. For a game with a $10 price tag, it has a lot to it. You can practice with bots before going online with real people. The game also has plenty of things for you to unlock when it comes to toys and food to possess for your little ghost guy. Some in levels, some are hidden in your room, which acts as a sort of in-game hub for you and your friends. The game is also 2-4 players couch co-op, so if you want to play with your real-life friends as opposed to online with strangers, that is an option. Don’t get drunk and play with your girlfriend, tho, they don’t appreciate being tossed to the ghost. The game is a solid 8/10, even though it did have me on the couch for a night. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hot Rod Mayhem (Xbox Review)

Hot Rod Mayhem is a kart racer sent to me by Casual Brothers, and of course, I always like to disclose that and thank them up front. There are probably a million kart racers out there, so it is always a dicey genre to enter. This one is available basically anywhere you play games.

The biggest selling point of this game for me is that they chose a very old-school feel for this one. There is no online mode; this is a couch co-op adventure. Each person (up to 4) just creates a character before the race, with plenty of options from perfectly normal to pretty outrageous. Then you pick a car to race with, each with its own good and bad points.

There are only two real options when it comes to racing: a single race or a full-blown championship series. I like this choice as well because they do a lot with a little. You can unlock 10 tracks, but each one of these tracks can be reversed, and there are multiple difficulty options. When you add in the power-ups, races can get kind of wild and hectic.

The game is far from perfect. It relies heavily on boosting as opposed to skill to win races at times, it seems, and bumping other racers can end your race faster than anything else. As far as I can tell, the computer racers don’t suffer from this issue the same way human players do.

The game cost $20, and for kart games I’ve played at that price, it is definitely solid. There are certainly better out there, especially if you are playing on the Switch. But for Xbox on PlayStation, the game is solid enough. It is a 7/10 game in a genre piled with quickly tossed-together junk. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.