Category: Movie Review

Batman: Sub Zero

batman subzero

Subzero is a movie based around the animated series. Victor Fries loved his wife Nora with all his heart and was devastated when she became inflicted with a terminal illness; until he could find a cure, he froze her in suspended animation. After a tragic turn of events, Victor was mutated by his own cryogenic science and became Mr Freeze. With time ticking, he has a final option to save Nora but there seems to be only one match for her: Barbara Gordon. Kidnapping Barbara, Batgirl, it’s up to Batman and Robin to rescue her before Freeze may end up killing Barbara. I always loved Mr Freeze so I was glad he got an appropriate movie (we all know about the other Mr Freeze film). If you loved the animated series, you’ll love this movie. It does feel like a long episode but still has great performances and some sweet action. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Friends with Benefits (2011)

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Friends with benefits is essentially that thing everyone tries at some point that doesn’t work. You know a two friends decide they need a lil something something and help each other out and poof, someone catches feelings and wrecks the whole thing. This isn’t real life tho, so its both of them.

The movie is as you would imagine full of jokes, sexual innuendo and brief nudity. So ladies, ever wanted to see Justin’s butt here is your shot. Men knew about Mila years ago so I feel no need to mention it. But you know…her butt as well.

Another amazing and unexpected part of the movie is Woody Harrelson playing one of the best gay characters in recent movie history. He is fun and hilarious and adds quite a bit to the movie  despite having a pretty limited role.

The actual story is pretty basic. Both have rough breakups , eventually meet and become friends have a few drinks and a bad idea becomes a good idea and things escalate from there. The movie isn’t the best but it is quite good. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Beauty And The Beast (2017)

beauty and the beast

First I have to say I had very low expectations and standards for this movie. Not because I hate the actors, I don’t. They are all very talented. I also don’t hate Disney or have a strange loyalty to the old Disney movies from my childhood even tho I do love them. All I wanted was Gaston to be well done and for his song in the bar to be in the movie and fun. I got Gaston, and my bar scene. Savior was a happy camper. Because truly nobody does it like Gaston. But how was the rest of the movie?

Well honestly, it was pretty damn good. Emma Watson played Belle great which shouldn’t surprise anyone since really Belle and Hermione Granger are similar characters anyway. Both are bookworms that most people considered kind of odd that liked to do their own thing, and that is a role Emma spent half her life perfecting. And the Beast isn’t exactly some hard character either, he starts out as kind of a dick then turns out to be a pretty decent guy which Dan Stevens did well. The hardest part of that job really is something that can’t be taught and that is would Dan Stevens and Emma Watson have the right chemistry to make people believe that occurred naturally, which they did.

The biggest surprise for me tho was how close to the original they kept it while changing it enough to be its own thing. All the major scenes you would want are still very much there and they took the time to make them as accurate as they realistically could which was nice. As a person that liked the original but never loved it, this remake that I admittedly wanted very little from surpassed even my most optimistic expectation. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

The Details (2011)

the details

The Details is an odd movie in the sense that it is a comedy, but not really in that ha ha this is funny sense, but more in the huh, its funny how things work out sense. The movie starts out with a doctor having the grass in his yard fixed. Just a regular guy, with a regular wife and child. Sure the usual marriage problems are present and the day to day stuff is going on. Everything is pretty average tho. The next morning he wakes up to discover the new grass is messed up and he sets out to discover why, and the answer is a raccoon.

Everything in this movie can be traced back to this. One mans desire to fix his lawn and a raccoon doing raccoon things for food. One mans choice will change the lives of families. I won’t give away the details since obviously it would spoil the entire movie since the entire plot revolves around what happens after this. The movie is far from perfect, but then again so is life and the movie does an excellent job at showing that even with the best intentions things can easily go very differently than one would want. There are some good laughs to be had as well, but the real bread and butter of this movie is simply that on some level you will both love and hate the characters while empathizing with them. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Witch: a New-England Folktale

The Witch

This is one of the most decisive movies I’ve seen in a long while, much like last year’s It comes at night . Some will love it, some will hate it, many will ask WTF did I just watch. First, like It Comes At Night, don’t watch the trailers. They set you up for a movie you aren’t getting.

The Witch is about a family in 1630 banished from there village because of there beliefs and sent to rebuild there lives in the woods. Life isn’t easy as food is scare, crops aren’t taking, and they have no money. The youngest, baby Sam, suddenly disappears under oldest Tomasin’s watch. The family begins to break as mother Katherine loses her mind and starts taking it out on Tomasin and the pressures of the family’s problems eat at father, William. Strange things begin happening like the dog is found murdered, oldest son, Caleb disappears, and the young twins Mercy and Jonas keep singing and conversing with the family goat, Black Phillip. Is this family’s misfortune there own, or the work of something else, as Caleb reappears after finding a mysterious woman lurking in the woods…

As I said. this is a weird case but regardless, I loved this movie. It is slow with some disturbing imagery throughout but I love the daring move to set it so faithfully in the 1600’s and I like that it is, at its core a fairytale in Grimm fashion. The atmosphere and score is amazing; the actors are splendidly genuine and feel genuine. I know many will disagree and honestly I can’t debate them on this film but it can’t be argued the effort and love put into the project, which definitely shows. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is both vastly different from the first and yet quite similar to the first. It starts out with an epic battle to protect, oddly enough, batteries from a huge creature. Yes they are being paid, and as this goes on baby Groot is dancing and proves he may be the cutest little hero to ever exist. After all this they receive payment for a job well done and leave, but of course Rocket Raccoon steals some of the batteries and all hell breaks loose.

The story itself is sort of an origin story of sorts for Star Lord as you will learn more about his mom and meet his dad. While the movie is as well made and beautiful as the first and easily just as funny if not more, the story itself for me was not as good. It lacked that same level of excitement and had quite a few down trends where it wasn’t very exciting or even interesting. The movie is good, don’t get me wrong. Any fan of the Marvel movies will enjoy it, but don’t expect it to be as amazing as the first. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

May (2002)

may

There’s times there are films that are special and different, that sadly don’t get the recognition they deserve. In the fifth grade I started experimenting with horror movies and this was likely the first psychological horror film I can remember and it still affects me today…

May follows a shy, strange, lonely young woman who simply wants a friend. As a girl she was bullied for her lazy eye so she received a beautiful doll to be her friend. Grown up, May works as a vet’s assistant and has gotten her eye surgically fixed. She begins talking to a handsome guy named Adam and May is immediately smitten with the guy, but she discovers that while you like pieces of someone, you hardly like the whole thing, and so May decides to build her very own friend…

I really really liked this movie because it didn’t feel like a horror movie. On the contrary, I felt her pain, being alone then seeing the asshole side of new friends. Angela Bettis is fantastic as the titular character, and a highly underrated actress (she also played my favorite rendition of Carrie, I highly recommend also). The movie is slowly paced and there isn’t much in the ways of gore or action but the music, atmosphere, and cinematography are unsettling. The conclusion is sad but eerie. I recommend checking it out if you can track this movie down. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes everyone.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

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Guardians of the Galaxy is the story of, well i’m not sure you can call them heroes since they are mostly criminals. But hey let us for the sake of argument call them heroes. Any way after stealing a mysterious orb earthling Peter Quill also known as Star Lord is thrown together with others to form The guardians of the Galaxy in order fend of Ronan The Accuser and his attempts to take over everything. The movie itself is hilarious and well made tho it is far from perfect.

The most amazing part of the whole thing honestly is that a comic serious that most people outside the comic world really knew nothing about was so well received and loved by many. For me personally when I heard Batista the professional wrestler  was going to be in the movie I had very little hope it would be any good but damn was I wrong. If some how you missed this one, go check it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Shark Attack 2

shark attack 2

Oh boy. Just…ugh. Ok, so in 2002 I was a kid and still riding the high of Deep Blue Sea, I wanted more. So Duke told me about a movie on Sci-fi channel that was pretty much the same thing. And he was right…but a crappier version.

So a aquarium in sunny California acquires a new Great White shark. Something is off about it. Turns out it’s the offspring of a genetically altered enlarged shark from the first film. Oh and there’s like 6 of these things. The shark gets out, meets up with the others and kills a beach of people. So a Nick Cage look alike, a woman out for revenge against the sharks that murdered her sister, and a douchy Steve Irwin wannabe have to ban together and kill these damn dirty sharks.

Ok, so if you ever saw a shark movie, there’s nothing really groundbreaking. If you thought Jaws needed lame characters and more gore and Deep Blue Sea needed to be more hokey and have lame practical effects, well here you go. At least it  isn’t boring because of all of the shark kills. In the end, it’s forgettable but Ok if you want some decent gore. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

Deep Blue Sea

deep blue sea

It’s winter in Scranton and I’m freaking cold. Savior had the idea of talking about Jaws, nice sunny summer movies, so I figured, “ah shit, if there were sharks in Scranton It’d feel warmer out I bet.” And since I randomly have heard of a phantom sequel to this coming out over the years, I though why not talk about it.

Deep Blue Sea is the story of a scientist trying to find a cure for Alzheimers by testing on sharks she illegally genetically modified in a research lab in the middle of the ocean. The three mako sharks that were used for testing are now smarter and have trapped the people in the facility that is breaking apart, and it’s up to them to kill the sharks before they break the final layers of containment and find there way into the deep blue sea…

I know the plot sounds like some B movie bullshit but I can assure you it comes together quite well. The characters are solid and there is alot of effort put into suspense, tension, score and the scenery. At the time, for 1999, the shark effects were pretty damn good and much of it still is. There are some questionable moments of early CGI and the notorious Samuel L. Jackson scene that is pretty hilarious and WTF. I have to be honest, Deep Blue Sea is my favorite shark movie and I think it’s pretty underrated, though not a boneified classic like Jaws (1975) but definitely deserves a cult classic status. May the gaming gods bring you glory and beware of sharks.