torstenvblog

Pet Sematary

“Sometimes Louis, dead is better.” Pet Sematary by legendary writer Stephen King was my introduction to his insanity and brilliance when I was three or four, not much older than poor Gage Creed. To this day the movie still has an impressive talent for creeping the shit out of me and tugging at my heartstrings a bit. The book is equally as good and pretty damn close comparison wise, but I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

Louis and Rachael Creed move into a new house in rural Maine with daughter Ellie, cat Church and baby son Gage. Its a wide, picturesque place; a long road of speeding trucks separates them from there old, kindly neighbors Judd and Norma Crandall. The Crandalls and Creeds hit it off, especially Judd and Louis. Louis is a doctor, and first day at his new job, a young man named Pascow dies on his table after getting hit by a car while jogging. Louis has dreams of Pascow’s ruined body warning him about something Judd once told the family, beyond the old Pet Sematary out back. While the rest of his family is away, Louis finds Church dead. Judd sees the pain on Louis’s face of having to break the news to Ellie. Judd reluctantly takes Louis to a very special place far beyond the ruins of the cemetery to bury Church. Judd tells him it used to be a special place for the Native Americans that used to live there; after a long trek, Judd tells him to bury his own. Days later, Church returns. Not the sweet lovable cat he knew, Church exists with a horrible stench and a lonesome, sometimes hostile temper. Louis asks Judd how the hell church came back. Judd tells him the legend of the land but stops short when Louis asks the obvious question, have ever buried a person up there. Pascow returns to Louis again, warning him away from the ground again. Time goes by and on a fateful summer’s day Louis finds himself with a broken heart and a breaking family when Gage perishes tragically. Against everything, Louis bring Gage to the burial ground and waits for his son to come home with horrific and tragic results…

A story this simple, genuinely genius in how frightening and sad it is proves why King is a legend at the craft. Whether you watch the unforgettable movie or took the extra initiative and read the book, they sync up really well. The characters feel realistic and flushed out well. A lot of the imagery sticks with you; the most memorable image from the movie to me is Zelda, Rachael’s dying sister. That shit stays with you man. Definitely locked in my top 3 favorite Stephen King stories of all time, perhaps even my favorite considering how much it influenced me, I can’t recommend it enough. Thank you as always and just remember, “some lines aren’t meant to be crossed, doc.”

5 horror movies for non horror fans

Horror is in my blood, it’s grafted onto my soul since birth. Whether you get off on the tension of a good psychological scare, enjoy gallons of blood, or a cheap laugh and some boobs, horror has something for everyone. Most of all, it makes us look at ourselves, our friends and family, and the world around us all differently. But some people insist horror is stupid, tasteless, or exploitative and sometimes yes it is but I wanted to prove there are some great horror movies the haters can enjoy. In no particular order, here we go:

1. IT (2017)- The most recent movie on this list, It not only is a great horror movie but also a wonderful coming of age story. The children have a heart warming chemistry that gives us some great story thread outside the constant threat of Pennywise and some funny moments. Either way, I highly recommend it.

2. Cabin in the Woods- Just as creative as it is funny and badass, Cabin in the Woods took most of us by storm in 2012 as a totally unique and original movie about the ultimate cabin in the Woods horror film…seriously if you never saw it, you’re in for a huge treat as the plot is full of fun characters and monsters from all walks of horror- and a unicorn too.

alien 3. Alien- If you read my review for this sci-fi horror classic, you’ll know how much I loved it but now I’m going to focus on the tension this movie builds. Some beautiful, claustrophobic settings and a terrifying as hell creature hunting relate able characters in space. If you’re a sci fi nerd, definitely should go on your must watch list.

4. Poltergeist- As much of a great horror movie this classic is, there is equally a sense of wonder to it you don’t find in many horror movies. It’s a heartfelt family and a cast of likable characters that doesn’t take itself too seriously but when it’s scary, is scary as hell. Always worth a view.

seven 5. Seven- After Alien 3, David Fincher came back with a vengeance with this freaky crime thriller staring a young Brad Pitt and the always amazing Morgan Freeman. So much creepy imagery as they track down a killer basing his murders on the 7 deadly sins; fans of cop dramas will enjoy the dark, grim atmosphere and the twists and turns.

I hope you all enjoyed the countdown and check these movies out and may the gaming gods be with you.

5 great horror games to scare the crap out of you.

October is practically Christmas for us at Saviorgaming so I thought I’d help kick shit off with a list of some of my favorite horror games. In no particular order, I can tell you these games gave me a good scare or at least spiked my blood pressure a bit. So let’s begin…

rere1 1. Resident Evil (remake) – Resident Evil was a tricky pick for which I’d pick. 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 were all acceptable really but the remake is somehow timeless. With a creepy as hell atmosphere, lack of ammo, interesting plot and two ways to play through it all, it’s a fun classic to bring out this Halloween that holds up pretty damn well and brings up a harsh challenge.

2 Bloodborne- call me whatever you want but this game got me a few times. And no, it wasn’t because of how hard the bosses are. I’m a fan of H.P Lovecraft and good bloody body horror and fucked up disturbing creatures, so Bloodborne filled my appetite quite nicely. Yharnam has an aesthetic close to the old settings of the classic black and white Universal monster movies I grew up with as well as I can imagine the Hunter traveling to slay Dracula or the Frankenstein monster. If you want a scary game that’s beautiful, bloody, and will kick your ass Bloodborne is for you.

evil within. 3. The Evil Within- Especially relevant with the sequel dropping next month, Friday the thirteenth to be exact, why not catch up? Revisit the horrors of Ruvik’s mind as you try to survive madness and monsters in the second best “horror casserole” I’ve ever played.

deadspace 4. Dead Space- This is my favorite “horror casserole” of all time. ith vibes from Alien, Carpenter’s Thing remake, Resident Evil, Evil Dead, Event Horizon, and good psychological twist, Dead Space encapsulated me in Isaac Clarke’s quest through the ruined Ishimura for his missing girlfriend Nicole and the monstrous Necromorphs- which holy shit they are awesomely creative and freaky. The atmosphere is extremely freaky but breathtaking, the audio is creepy, and the game is scary as hell but still a blast.

isolation2 5. Alien: Isolation- anyone who knows me knew this was coming. Who wouldn’t want to be inside one the all time scariest movies? Isolation puts us there, disadvantaged against overwhelming odds and an unkillable alien that is shockingly lifelike. It’s a very tense game with a good story that will keep you on the edge of your seat, and have you question every noise you hear at night. Keep out of the vents my friends.

I hope you enjoyed my list and with the exception of Dead Space, we have reviews for all the aforementioned games. The Dead Space trilogy is soon to come as well as more Resident Evil and what not. Thank you for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Resident Evil 6 Review

Like another blood-boiling crapper I covered in my list of disappointing games, Resident Evil 6 had an assload of potential and hype surrounding it, and what we got was this. Originally, I called this game the product of what happens when you try pleasing everyone and that is ultimately what slaughters the game. The game ultimately has 4 separate campaigns with 7 total playable characters totaling 21 chapters if you count the pointless prologue that you eventually have to replay anyway later in Leon’s campaign…actually, the prologue is the lead up to his final boss as a matter of fact. The story of Resident Evil 6 is a royal clusterfuck if I ever saw one, only matching BvS by comparison, but I’ll do my best. Leon Kennedy kills the President of the US because he became a zombie, which became a thing again because of some government dickhead named Derrick or whatever- oh trust me, he’s a laugh at the end. Chris Refield is a ptsd driven alcoholic that is going after a cartel called the Jarvo that are drug peddling cricket-men with his bitchy sidekick Piers that keeps reminding you how much of a sad sorry sack of shit you became. Jake Mueller is a douchy super merc who happens to be Wesker’s son teaming up with Sherry Birkin- the annoying little girl from Resident Evil 2 who grew up hot and has Wolverine level healing powers in cutscenes only as they are being chased by diet Nemesis/ Abomination/ metal armed Hellboy 2 troll guy wannabe. Ada Wong is trying to kill a evil clone of herself that set a lot of this shit in motion. Wow, writing this I can fully comprehend how batshit this all sounds.

Ok, the only real positive I give this game is that, graphically, it is beautiful. I give it that. After that, it is steaming ostrich diarrhea. The new upgrading mechanic blows; you don’t get many slots, and you’re aim jitters like a bitch when you fire in an attempt to be more realistic. In a game where one of your final bosses is a fucking zombie dinosaur man you worry about realistic shooting and getting tired in physical combat? Oh that’s great too, adding a ridiculous stamina system so you can get tired after 3 punches and resort to laughably over-exaggerated exhausted hits which cripples Jake’s campaign a bit. Leon’s is supposed to be old school horror- it ain’t. Chris is supposed to cater to the COD crowd- it doesn’t. Ada’s is supposed to be the stealth game- her stealth kills are sloppy as shit. The game isn’t really built for that kind of gameplay, and oh, can you tell. Instead of clever puzzles, everything is made insanely clear with bright indicators, oh, but don’t worry, we got truckloads of damn QTEs because you love them as much as going to the dentist who hates Novocaine. The chapters are long, and because the stories sometimes intersect, you will play the same part over again and watch the same damn cut scene again. I forced myself through his deep-fried ass cheese to get to some of the crapiest final bosses of recent gaming.

re6 dinosaur This says volumes.

Overall, this game is crap. Resident Evil died in the hearts of many the day this came out and for good reason. This is a hemorrhoid on the series and modern gaming; this game is every rock in your trick or treat bag; this game is every bad bikini wax, every nasty toilet seat and every bowl of your grandma’s stale ass cereal she forgot was in her cupboard since disco was a thing. If your drunk you may like this but in the end, friends won’t let friends play Resident Evil 6.

Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City

rerco

Oh boy…this is gonna be bad. Originally described to me by a friend as “Resident Evil meets Star Wars Battlefront” , I was immediately hooked. Playing as an Umbrella agent trying to contain the infamous Raccoon City outbreak- HELL YEAH! Well, sorry again slightly younger Torsten, but get ready to get boned again and have your hopes and dreamed set ablaze. Put bluntly, this game is laughably bad. And honestly, there was no reason it had to be that way. A good third person shooter during a zombie monster apocalypse shouldn’t be that hard of a thing to achieve. That being said, the gameplay was merely a super clunky SOCOM mash up that could be fun with a friend. Some people have told me the game is better in multiplayer but for the single player joes like myself, tough shit pal. The A.I is idiotic and a clear case of it looking like your comrades are doing shit but not really doing a damn thing. The shooting is god awful, like unless the damn zombies were directly in front of me I was screwed. Also, the stupid ass A.I partners would get in the way anyway. The graphics are meh and as for characters, the only two I can remember are HUNK- the Boba Fett of Resident Evil who has a unintentionally funny intro and a brief cameo and chase by William Birkin which is the best part if the running didn’t feel like a hot grilled ass and cheese sandwich… I’m going to end this review of this wad of giraffe dung with a anecdote: I got this used from my local game store. Cashier says “ouch dude, are you sure?” and for free he upgraded me to the steel book case and the told me what days he worked that week and told me if I brought it back, he’d let me exchange it for a equal value game, no questions asked. I came back less than 24 hours later, walked up to him and in front of people replied “Fuck this game.” That says it all. Overall, friends don’t let friends play Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City.

The mummy (1999)

the mummy

So how about we talk about a good remake of the Mummy and not a Marvel wannabe? This 1999 remake features fun likable characters, pretty impressive effects for the time that can be kinda creepy and it’s just a plain simple adventure. Imhotep was a priest in the days of ancient Egypt who was cursed and mummified alive because he helped kill the pharaoh and used some black magic to try bringing his dead girlfriend back to life. Hundreds of years later, a librarian named Evee out for adventure with her troublesome bother Jonathan save a convict Rick O Connell from the gallows because he swore to have seen the location to the lost city of…Haminaptra (my apologies for the horrific spelling). There, with other explorers, they find Imhotep’s corpse and the book that unintentionally brings him back from the dead. With his resurrection comes the horror of his feeding off of those who originally unlocked his tomb as he tries to unleash the ten plagues and bring back his girlfriend.

Overall, it’s definately a fun movie. Not quite a horror flick per say, there are some messed up parts like watching people getting mauled by scarabs or Imhotep’s first victim shuffling about after having his eyes and tongue ripped out. There’s a lot of cool action scenes and some good humor thrown throughout; it’s one of those rare movies that knows how to serious but not take itself too seriously. I highly recommend it, and as always thank you and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Red Dead Redemption 2 trailer

rdr2

Damn I want this game. Like a good trailer ought to, we get glimpses of the majestic, epic beauty of the old west in the trailer for Red Dead Redemption 2 but we don’t get much of an idea of a plot except for Dutch being referenced at the end, making me think this maybe some kind of prequel. In one way I’d be fine with that, getting to see a young John Marsten get in with the gang he’d hunt down in the original. I was a huge fan of the first Red Dead Redemption and my hopes are high for the sequel, not too many times I can lasso someone and toss them in front of a train after all.

Claymore

claymore

Do you enjoy sexy ladies, giant monsters, crazy ass sword fights, or mi-devil stories? If you said yes to one or more of these things, Claymore is an anime for you. Set in what I take to be mid evil times, people are in fear of humaniod beasts called Yoma. These things are vicious as hell and pretty unkillable, except for a Claymore. A Claymore is a human female/ Yoma hybrid trained as a warrior to kill the beasts; they are faster, stronger, have ridiculously quick reflexes, and rarely age. It has to be a young woman that is changed, males don’t react favorable to the hybrid process. They are controlled by a mysterious Organization, who collect money for the Claymore clearing the town. So essentially they are pimps. Any way, our main focus is on a Claymore named Claire and her human companion boy Rocky as she aims to destroy a talented Claymore turned full Yoma who murdered Teresa, the once greatest Claymore and who had saved Claire as she herself saved Rocky. I loved almost everything about this series but towards the end it starts to drag a little for me. While I usually don’t like happy endings, I was really invested in Claire and Rocky’s friendship, as I was Claire and Teresa’s. I love Skyrim and the scenery and score reminded me of it a little bit. This show features one of my favorite fights in all of anime, Teresa the ranked #1 Claymore vs 2-5 and it’s gorgeous and badass to watch. If you want a short but rich anime to watch, I highly recommend Claymore and you can find it all dubbed on Hulu. As always thank you and may the gaming gods be with you.

I am the pretty thing that lives in the house

pretty

Be happy I love you Savior. This is probably the strangest bad thing I’ve reviewed so far. Things like Aliens: Colonial Marines were just flat out bad, and I’m going to tell you now I didn’t like this movie but it’s weird why not.

Much like the movie Darling I reviewed, this is a really artsy horror film. It centers around a young RN named Lily who moves into the house of a once famous author who’s suffering from severe dementia and has to take care of her. Iris Blum, her patient barely functions in her grand sterile white house…except for the rotting spot that develops in the wall. Lily is curious why Iris won’t call her anything but Polly and discovers the famous book Iris wrote was about a real woman named Polly Parsons who got murdered and buried in the wall and Polly told her the story…

I have to say the narrations for this movie are beautifully written. The cinematography is beautiful. The acting is strange and slightly off putting, which combined with how isolated the house feels and how quiet it is can be quite creepy. So why didn’t I like it? It’s boring. Plain and simple. The movie ends when it just feels like it’s starting to build up to something. The fact that there is rarely dialogue but narration, while as I said is well written, feels pretentious after a while. The ending flat out pissed me off with how anti-climatic it felt. If this was a novella or short story, I’d call it a damn good one. As a movie, nah. I recommend this to a film student or aspiring writer like myself as a teaching tool but I can’t as a actual horror movie. As always you guys are awesome, thank you for your time, and may the gaming gods be with you.

1922 trailer

1922

I’m glad Stephen King is jumping back into mainstream popularity again. Just sayin dude. Anyway, so I know Netflix is popping out a original movie for Gerald’s Game and now 1922, one of five stories from the collection Full Dark, No Stars. 1922 in a nutshell is the story of a farming family living in the titular year and how the father kills the mother and throws her in a old well and how the guilt destroy the lives of him and his son. From the brief trailer we got, the plot seems to be there. I’m glad the movie has a grounded feel to it, the actors actually look like a struggling farming family and the ghostly images aren’t overly flashy. Overall, I think it’s a perfectly doable adaptation and I’m actually fairly excited for it. May the gaming gods be with you and as always thank you for reading.