When David Weber puts a book in your hands and tells you to read it, you do, and so here is my book report on my recent ARC of Valiant Dust by Richard Baker. In Valiant Dust, Sikander Singh North is an aristocrat-turned-soldier, off to begin his first mission on the Aquilan Commonwealth starship CSS […]
Ya know how there’s a drawback to every career choice, no job is completely great and wonderful. I know being famous ain’t all it’s cracked up to be but this made me not want to be a writer, director, or any kind of artist. Misery is the rare kind of story that believably real and so much more terrifying because of it. Much like Pet Sematary, which I covered earlier, both movie and book are great but this time I can say I prefer the book, though the movie is still an amazing adaptation.
Paul Sheldon is a famous author of a series of books named after the main character Misery, which he has gotten fed up with over the years. He has a tradition to go to a cabin he has in the mountains when he’s about to finish a book. He finishes the last book in Misery’s series to his relief. On his way back down to go to his publishers, he gets caught in a storm storm and crashes his car. His car totaled, his body unconscious and wrecked, it looks bad for the author. But he is saved by a large, heavy woman named Annie Wilkes that brings him home and nurses him back to health. Annie loves the Misery books with all her heart. Looking through his bag, she finds Paul’s manuscript for a new Misery; Paul lets her read it, after all she did save his grumpy ass and nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Annie is full of girlish glee…until she reads the ending. She snaps, screaming at Paul, slamming him and his bed up and down in a violent rage. She forces him to burn the new book he has been working on and begin a new book to revive Misery, dedicated to her of course. Paul is in living hell, immobile, isolated from a world that thinks he’s dead except for a sheriff in the mountain town. But can Paul hold out until then while Annie grows more intensely mad and her true colors reveal themselves…
A main difference I get between the book and movie is that the two main characters are much more flushed out. In the book we learn a lot about Paul as he struggles to finish the book he never wanted to make and how by the end he almost loves the series again because of how much it challenged him. Annie’s portrayal either way amazingly lifelike but there were touches in the book that strangely made me relate her to Blaine the Mono from the third Dark Tower book. The movie does an amazing job with the acting, especially Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes, and never ceases to loose tension in it’s confined space. I highly recommend it if you enjoy good old fashion suspense over gore and body counts, though who can forget the hobbling?
“Sometimes Louis, dead is better.” Pet Sematary by legendary writer Stephen King was my introduction to his insanity and brilliance when I was three or four, not much older than poor Gage Creed. To this day the movie still has an impressive talent for creeping the shit out of me and tugging at my heartstrings a bit. The book is equally as good and pretty damn close comparison wise, but I’m getting a little ahead of myself.
Louis and Rachael Creed move into a new house in rural Maine with daughter Ellie, cat Church and baby son Gage. Its a wide, picturesque place; a long road of speeding trucks separates them from there old, kindly neighbors Judd and Norma Crandall. The Crandalls and Creeds hit it off, especially Judd and Louis. Louis is a doctor, and first day at his new job, a young man named Pascow dies on his table after getting hit by a car while jogging. Louis has dreams of Pascow’s ruined body warning him about something Judd once told the family, beyond the old Pet Sematary out back. While the rest of his family is away, Louis finds Church dead. Judd sees the pain on Louis’s face of having to break the news to Ellie. Judd reluctantly takes Louis to a very special place far beyond the ruins of the cemetery to bury Church. Judd tells him it used to be a special place for the Native Americans that used to live there; after a long trek, Judd tells him to bury his own. Days later, Church returns. Not the sweet lovable cat he knew, Church exists with a horrible stench and a lonesome, sometimes hostile temper. Louis asks Judd how the hell church came back. Judd tells him the legend of the land but stops short when Louis asks the obvious question, have ever buried a person up there. Pascow returns to Louis again, warning him away from the ground again. Time goes by and on a fateful summer’s day Louis finds himself with a broken heart and a breaking family when Gage perishes tragically. Against everything, Louis bring Gage to the burial ground and waits for his son to come home with horrific and tragic results…
A story this simple, genuinely genius in how frightening and sad it is proves why King is a legend at the craft. Whether you watch the unforgettable movie or took the extra initiative and read the book, they sync up really well. The characters feel realistic and flushed out well. A lot of the imagery sticks with you; the most memorable image from the movie to me is Zelda, Rachael’s dying sister. That shit stays with you man. Definitely locked in my top 3 favorite Stephen King stories of all time, perhaps even my favorite considering how much it influenced me, I can’t recommend it enough. Thank you as always and just remember, “some lines aren’t meant to be crossed, doc.”
So if I had to pick a best out of the Twilight series, Eclipse, book 3, would probably be my favorite. There is some compelling narration, decent lore building, and a fair amount of tension to leads to…shit. Two books building up to a grand ass revenge and it’s over in a paragraph. No epic fight, hell the fight were hoping for we never see; the movie at least did us that solid. But I need to do this right and summarize the plot of this. Ah hell, here it goes…
So months passed since New Moon ended, Victoria is still on the loose, the werewolves still hate the Cullens, and teen bullshit. Edward and Bella still going back and forth bout the whole I wanna be a vampire/ I have no soul cuz I’m a monster crap. Also Jacob is all emo again because Bella ain’t into dog sex, she’s all into screwing rich dead people. I always thought Bella was a gold-digger myself. Anyway, they’re also almost graduating from school and apparently people are disappearing in the city next to Forks. So Jacob pops up at there school, letting it out that the two factions almost had it out trying to get Victoria. Soon after, they discover Victoria is stalking Bella, Blah blah blah Victoria is trying to make an army of newborn crack vampires to kill Bella so the Cullens and werewolves have to band together and stop her. Oh and they get engaged while Jacob tries to jump into her pants.
Ok, so Eclipse is the best of the four. There is a fair sense of tension and some cool lore sprinkled throughout. BUT the dialogue is crappy, all the characters just feel whiny, all built tensions just squeak fart out instead of being a cool climax. The movie is full of the bad emo acting the Twilight movies are famous for but we do a decent fight at the end. The first couple minutes of the movie are a nice touch that actually can trick you into thinking its a horror- HAHAHA don’t fall for it. This movie maybe directed by David Slade, director of the totally underrated 30 days of Night movie but he couldn’t even save this damn movie. Anyway, thank you for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
I was insanely in love with Goosebumps as a kid. Hell, even as an adult me and Savior still find a bit of fondness for the series. R.L. Stine’s children’s horror series was huge in the 90’s, whether it was in the books or the show, it was damn near inescapable growing up then. The books are fast and memorable, having some good tension built up in stories like Welcome to Dead House and Say cheese and Die. Seriously, twenty some years old reading them I actually felt a little bit tense. As for the show, three stories stick out to me above the rest- The Haunted Mask 1 and 2, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, and the Night of the Living Dummy stories. Slappy the dummy from that show creeps me out way more than Chucky or Annabelle, I don’t know how or why but that bastard creeps me out. What makes Goosebumps stand out most of all is the creativity behind the stories. Though a lot of the monsters and ghouls are things we’ve seen but Stine finds ways of making them his own. If you have Netflix, definitely check it out and many of the books can be found at your local library.
The classic that started it all for the legend that is Stephen King. I’m sure we’ve all either seen one of the 3 film adaptations or seen a parody of it somewhere, my first intro to Carrie was a moment in Tiny Toons for shit sake. If you haven’t been introduced to this classic, here’s the gist: a unpopular girl in high school gets bullied for being weird while at home she takes shit from her insanely over religious mother and learns she has the gift of telekinesis (the ability to move things with her mind.) When life looks to be looking up when she begins to understand the power and gets asked to prom by a popular guy, it violently goes to shit when she gets drenched in pig blood as a prank and Carrie goes apeshit. First I’m going to say I love the book. Every film has Carrie has a defenseless, skinny, quiet, girl but in the book we’re able to see her dark, hateful feelings boiling inside and her feelings on god which are interesting; of every adaptation I always enjoyed the book’s bleak ending the best. Carrie dies wounded on the side of the road after killing her mother, most of her classmates and destroying most of the town, just her and Sue Snell- the mean girl who took pity on Carrie. They talk one last time, Carrie driving her lifetime of pain into Sue’s memory like a nail, dying before sending out one last wave to scramble the minds of the town so they can’t remember much except that Carrie fucked them up. The 2002 film has an intersting ending where Carrie lived and her and Sue ran off, forever on the run. Of the films, 2002 was my favorite and most accurate to the book. For the original, Piper Laurie stole the show as Carrie’s mad mother, one of the scariest performances I’ve ever seen but Sissy Spacek is probably my least favorite Carrie. As for the 2013 remake, Chloe Grace Moretz gave a great performance as Carrie but besides that the movie was a modern day retread with DragonBall Z effects. Either way you go with it, it’s still a great story but I do recommend hitting the book first, it’s a quick but powerful read from a powerful writer.
At last Roland reaches the Dark Tower, but will he be the only one? The Crimson King’s forces are pressing down on our divided heroes, there is only one beam left holding the Tower up, Mordred is born and viscous, and Roland’s Tet is running out of luck. They come together to save Susannah as she gives birth to Mordred, at first a lovely baby boy that quickly reveals the other half of his breeding, showing off his spider form. He immediately kills Mia’s living form and soon after brings an end to Walter finally. Susannah wounds Mordred but he escapes, bleeding, vulnerable, and dying. The group reunites, suffering the first casualty of Callahan to get to Susannah. They head towards Blue Heaven, a massive breaker prison working on shattering the last beam. The Tet launches a badass strike on the prison to free the breakers, tragically losing Eddie in the process. The goodbyes are heartfelt and heart-wrenching but sadly won’t be the first. The Crimson King plots to kill Stephen King via the real life crash and this time Jake sacrifices himself to save King. He’s injured but not dead; Jake dies in Roland’s arms. Susannah is heart broken, first losing her husband then losing the boy she felt for like a son; Susannah and Oy start to feel contempt for Roland. They go on through a perilous winter and sinister fiends along the way, being followed by a sad, enraged Mordred all the way. In a last ditch effort, Mordred strikes them while they sleep, but Oy rushes to fight him off. Mordred kills him but Roland finally slays Mordred. Susannah and Roland part ways ; Roland and a young man they rescued are left to battle the Crimson King and step into the Tower.
Dark Tower 7 has to be one of the best finales I’ve ever read. When I first read it, I didn’t appreciate the final ending much but now I’m older I can appreciate the message it’s meant to convey. The quotes from Hurt by Nine Inch Nails and Bad Company fit the story perfectly because it’s a huge tragedy. I’m not going to lie to you, but I did shed a couple tears during some of the main characters deaths; King brilliantly made them all feel like real people so their ends have a true weight to them. Many of the fights are badass and for all it’s worth, I’m glad Roland found the tower because in the end “The Man in Black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed”.
At the end of Calla, Susannah disappears into another when and where, taken over by Mia. Mia is the demon who raped her and is pregnant with a diabolical child of Roland, The Crimson King, and Susannah to create the ultimate breaker, Mordred Deschain. Roland, Eddie, Jake, Oy, and Callahan have to push through the “Unfound” door, find Susannah and finish the last tasks before reaching this story’s finale.
Of all the series, I have the hardest time remembering book six the most. For the most part, I found it as a good bridge linking to the final chapter, much like Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in that regard. There is a heavy sense of dread once the second to last beam holding the tower up falls in the opening, making this book and next feel rushed because time is ticking. Book six starts to feel frighteningly real. Eddie and Roland meet a young Stephen King, which holy crap that’s meta. The heaviest part to me was Callahan and Jake hiding Black 13 under the Twin Towers. If you followed the series, pick it up, but in my opinion it’s definitely not the most memorable of the series but has some memorable moments in it. May the gaming gods be with you, and tune in for the Dark Tower’s epic finale.
So we reached my final Green Lantern entry to my JLA countdown. To my misfortune, I only have one book of this event, but still an epic book at that. After the events of Blackest Night, things may finally be getting back to normal except the White Lantern left behind. Jordan and Carol Ferris are back on speaking terms, even deciding to take a spin for old time’s sake until Sinestro comes to visit. Sinestro tells Jordan and Ferris he needs them to make a connection with the lantern; unbeknownst to them Krona, an ancient Guardian is hatching a plan to control the white light for himself. Jordan, Ferris, and Sinestro must team up again with Atrocitus, Larfleeze, Saint Walker, and Indigo-1 to recapture all of there Corps entities, leading into a epic ass kicking finale by Krona.
It’s a blast to have these characters reunite for another adventure. Personally I like Krona more as a villain than I did Nekron in Blackest Night; he has more of a eerily subdued presence and something about his wide freaky grin and violent mood swings make him dangerous. The fact he is nearly immune to all of the lights and can control all of the entities is mind blowing and bad ass. I like that our heroes totally lose at the end of the book, there wasn’t a deus ex machina to save them at the very end. Also, as a bonus, the book includes a origin story of one of my favorite DC characters Dexx-Starr the Red Lantern (and fuzzy kitty). Definitely pick this up in conjunction with the book Brightest Day. This concludes my Green Lantern reviews for now. If anyone has read any epic lantern stuff or any badass comics in general, let me know in the comments below. You guys are awesome and may the gaming gods be with you.
First I’m gonna say sorry this review as well as the final two installments of the Dark Tower saga are coming out later than the first four but so did the books too. Afraid he may never finish his magnum opus after being hit by by a car years before, Stephen King released 5, 6, and 7 back to back.
We pick up with the Ka-tet right after they left Topeka and weathered the starkblast (the event of Wind through the keyhole). Eddie has an eerily vivid dream about his New York; Susannah has dreams of a dark castle and strange appetites. She is pregnant but not by her husband Eddie, but by the demon that raped her when they drew Jake over. While her friends sleep she crawls off and while imagining a exquisite banquet in actuality she’s eating small animals. Roland has caught her strange new ritual. Meanwhile, they are being followed by people of a town bordering Thunderclap, called Calla Bryn Sturgess with a desperate need of there help. The Calla is ripe with twins, but every one of the pair becomes Roont by the Wolves that descend from Thunderclap once every twenty some years or so. The Wolves take a twin, and only a twin, and take them to the dark land and months later the child returns slow and malformed, forced to live out the rest of its days drooling in agony. Finally the Calla has had enough and yearns to fight back. Roland accepts the request because something tells him there’s more to there journey in the Calla. He quickly discovers the Calla’s priest Father Callahan has much in common with his own traveling companions, and he has the darkest piece of the Wizard’s Rainbow in his possession. He hears Callahan’s tale of the horrors that befell Salem’s Lot and the strange events that brought him to the Calla. But that is not all, there is a final door that no one can open. And so the countdown begins as mysteries of the Calla unfold and the Wolves descend upon them.
Such a strange book but damn if it ain’t cool in it’s weird ass way like the rest of the series. Our main characters are once again amazingly well done and honestly they keep you driven through the series. Andy the robot is a creepy secret villain, like finding out Alpha 5 from Power Rangers was secretly hoping the rangers would bite the big one so he could harvest there organs for money, like that kind of robot badguy. Callahan was a cool addition and I enjoyed his story of all the crazy shit that went on after Salem’s Lot. The story at times is a little hard to follow if you paying attention to the minute details, which I can’t stress that enough. Also I found the final battle a little anticlimactic but it definitely ain’t a twilight finale. Overall pick it up if you read the other four, like old school westerns, or a fan of Stephen King. May the Gaming Gods be with you all. You guys rock.
