Category: comedy

The Ultimate Horror Villain?!

horror villains

I have to say this post goes out with a heavy heart from Savior and I. April, 4th, 2020 my father, Duke, passed away. The man was a legend, hilarious, smart, and loved action, superheroes, horror and passed this love to me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful so this post goes out to him…

A lot of the time me and my dad spent together was watching movies and movies and either riffing them a new asshole or losing ourselves the worlds before us. So you see the title of the post and wonder who I’m naming the ultimate horror villain? Is it Michael Myers, the masked Shape of Haddonfield, that stalks the streets on Halloween. Is it the Alien, the perfect orgasm that exists and is biologically designed to be a heartless killing machine? Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Freddy Kruger, Dracula, Candyman, the Cenobites, Jaws? While I admit the topic is subjective and everyone is free to there own opinions, Duke and I had a peculiar candidate in mind years and years ago. A killer so diabolical, not only were they never apprehended but is seen as a positive force in there killing field. That is the most frightening thing of all, there is no fear of them, only admiration and recognition that disguise the wells of blood they spilled across the US. So who is this mastermind, you ask? Jigsaw? No. Hannibal Lector? Nope. The answer (drum roll please)….is…

murder-she-wrote

Jessica-motherfucking-Fletcher. Yes, the main “protagonist” of the hit show Murder She Wrote. For those unfamiliar, Murder She Wrote is about Jessica (J.B.) Fletcher who’s a widow, mystery writer, and sleuth in her cozy town of Cabot Cove. She’s a hometown hero, but I believe different. Why do people die wherever she goes? There is always a murder afoot and of course the police sheriff and town coroner need her aid to solve the deaths, despite both of them being close friends of the charming, sweet Ms. Fletcher. I’m saying it’s really suspicious the amount of deaths that have accrued in Cabot Cove, certainly wouldn’t the town be vacant after 12 seasons of Jessica’s bloodthirsty rampaging. Don’t let the cheery opening music and charmingly disarming performance by Angela Landsbury as Jessica Fletcher fool you, Murder She Wrote is a brilliant work of horror that gave us one of not only horror’s greatest villains, but fiction’s as well. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Spongebob Squarepants movie

spongebob movie Are ya ready kids?

Ok, I won’t burst into song. Many are likely wondering, ‘Torsten, why are you talking Spongebob after a string of violent comics and video games’? Well, the answer is simple dear reader: I’M A GOOFY GOOBER!

Spongebob Squarepants is just a happy go lucky fry cook down under the sea in the underwater town of Bikini Bottom.he loves his job at the Krusty Krab, loves his friends, and loves jelly fishing. The Krusty Krab is about to open a second restaurant, spelling certain doom for Plankton and the Chum Bucket; after hundreds of failed ploys to take down Mr Crabs and the Krusty Crew, he has finally  come up with the perfect diabolical plan. He swipes King Neptune’s crown which hides his baldness, and Neptune freezes Crabs out of anger. It’s up to Spongebob and his best friend Patrick to find the crown and bring order to Bikini Bottom before Plankton takes hold…

Kids movie or not, I laughed my ass off with this movie. I always had a soft spot in my heart for the lovable yellow bastard. If you love the show, the movie won’t disappoint. I love how batshit the movie gets like Spongebob getting wasted on ice cream or him and Patrick riding on top of the Hoff’s ass; it’s easy for adults with a WTF sense of humor to enjoy but its still a clean movie for the kids. It’s a colorful movie and a pretty good soundtrack including a badass Twisted Sister cover at the end. In the end, this is one of those rare times a movie can be enjoyed by young and old and its worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you Krabby  Patties.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Emperor Quill

gotg emp quill  The Guardians of the Galaxy have reformed after losing Star Lord to his new responsibility as the new leader of Spartax and Gamora falling out with Quill. Kitty Pryde, once Shadowcat of the X men and fiance to Quill, has taken his mantle of Star-Lord while Rocket Raccoon takes position as leader of Drax, Groot, Agent Venom and the Thing formerly of the Fantastic Four. Bored as hell of formal leadership, Quill can’t stand his new job until a viscous attack finds his way to Spartax and he’s forced to reunite with Gamora to face Hala, a vengeful Kree accuser who wants to destroy both Spartax and Earth in exchange for the Guardians failing to save the Kree homeworld. If that wasn’t enough, Yotat- the Destroyer of Destroyers has tracked them to Spartax with a grudge he has against Drax. Is it just the Guardians’s signature bad luck or is there someone else behind the scenes?

While I love the Fantastic 4 and I’m still not entirely sure why Kitty decided to call herself Star-Lord, this book is pretty entertaining. The Thing is a unexpectedly welcome addition to the team and fits right in and Kitty does add a unique dynamic as well. Quill has a good story arc and Hala puts up a epic fight, along with some fan service I appreciated. The artwork is well done and the writing is easy to follow and enjoyable. While it’s the first volume of a new story arc, it stands well on its own. The only issue I can see is the length which is short and sweet but may not be worth the expensive cost you will likely be faced with (because Marvel/ Disney) so I recommend definitely reading it just try to get a good price. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Destroy All Humans 2020 gameplay trailer

Here’s a little taste of what I hope what will be a good bite to come. The graphics look great but I’m really hoping the gameplay feels more fluid than the original game. If the controls feel better and the better graphics, I think we can have ourselves a winner. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Destroy All Humans remake release date trailer

I wasn’t sure what to expect after Resident Evil 3 (2020) and Savior’s Final Fantasy 7 Remake Review but the Destroy all humans remake is looking like a blast while sticking faithfully close to the classic. I can’t wait to see what becomes of this. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Shazam: Origins (new 52, vol.1)

new 52 shazam

Billy Batson is a a cocky troubled pre-teen with a good heart that can’t catch a break. Being an orphan most of his life, he’s done everything he could to find his mom but by doing that he’s kept getting booted from family to family. When dropped off yet again, it isn’t long before he finds himself before an ancient wizard that bestows upon Billy the powers of Shazam, making him the ultimate hero…but Billy was not the only one ever given these power. Dr Thad Sivanna unleashed a long vanished god- like Egyptian tyrant: enter Black Adam…

Does most of this sound familiar? Admittedly, 95% of this story was carried into the Shazam movie. The book has a good mix of feels and goofy moments with some really cool art. The biggest difference between book and movie is the villain. Adam is way more badass and fitting as a villain; Adam is Shazam’s nemesis after all. My only damn issue is Adam’s end, which is clever but anti-climatic as hell and I pray this book wasn’t his only outing in DC’s new 52. Overall, it’s a great example of a origin story done right and a good book to pick up if you loved the movie. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Green Hornet

green hornet

For years now, I’ve come to see the past decade as the age of nostalgia. It started to resonate with me when Duke asked “Jesus, why the hell is this coming back?” One of the first times I heard him say this was when the Green Hornet movie was announced.

Britt Reid is a snotty ass spoiled son of a celebrated newspaper mogul who is wasting his life away on partying and chicks. The day comes when his dad dies from his severe allergy to hornet stings. Suddenly Britt has to grow up fast and control his empire, covering the corruption swallowing his city. A calling comes as he befriends Kato, a badass genius who makes some epic coffee. Together these friends will arm themselves and get a awesome ride as they fight against a plot to rule the city from a violent crime boss and corrupt politician..

Honestly, I don’t know shit about the source material, but I don’t really get the hate this movie got. This movie was no Green Lantern by any means. Seth Rogen wasn’t bad as Hornet and had pretty awesome chemistry with John Chou who was badass as Kato.  There was a good mix of action and comedy and a overall good cast behind it. The 3D comic book visuals aged pretty lame however and while it’s a entertaining movie, there’s nothing really overly special. It’s not as funny as Deadpool or have the powerful storytelling of Iron Man (2008) . In the end, it’s a perfectly enjoyable superhero comedy worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.