Movie Review – Page 100

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

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Guardians of the Galaxy is the story of, well i’m not sure you can call them heroes since they are mostly criminals. But hey let us for the sake of argument call them heroes. Any way after stealing a mysterious orb earthling Peter Quill also known as Star Lord is thrown together with others to form The guardians of the Galaxy in order fend of Ronan The Accuser and his attempts to take over everything. The movie itself is hilarious and well made tho it is far from perfect.

The most amazing part of the whole thing honestly is that a comic serious that most people outside the comic world really knew nothing about was so well received and loved by many. For me personally when I heard Batista the professional wrestler was going to be in the movie I had very little hope it would be any good but damn was I wrong. If some how you missed this one, go check it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Shark Attack 2

shark attack 2

Oh boy. Just…ugh. Ok, so in 2002 I was a kid and still riding the high of Deep Blue Sea, I wanted more. So Duke told me about a movie on Sci-fi channel that was pretty much the same thing. And he was right…but a crappier version.

So a aquarium in sunny California acquires a new Great White shark. Something is off about it. Turns out it’s the offspring of a genetically altered enlarged shark from the first film. Oh and there’s like 6 of these things. The shark gets out, meets up with the others and kills a beach of people. So a Nick Cage look alike, a woman out for revenge against the sharks that murdered her sister, and a douchy Steve Irwin wannabe have to ban together and kill these damn dirty sharks.

Ok, so if you ever saw a shark movie, there’s nothing really groundbreaking. If you thought Jaws needed lame characters and more gore and Deep Blue Sea needed to be more hokey and have lame practical effects, well here you go. At least it isn’t boring because of all of the shark kills. In the end, it’s forgettable but Ok if you want some decent gore. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

Deep Blue Sea

deep blue sea

It’s winter in Scranton and I’m freaking cold. Savior had the idea of talking about Jaws, nice sunny summer movies, so I figured, “ah shit, if there were sharks in Scranton It’d feel warmer out I bet.” And since I randomly have heard of a phantom sequel to this coming out over the years, I though why not talk about it.

Deep Blue Sea is the story of a scientist trying to find a cure for Alzheimers by testing on sharks she illegally genetically modified in a research lab in the middle of the ocean. The three mako sharks that were used for testing are now smarter and have trapped the people in the facility that is breaking apart, and it’s up to them to kill the sharks before they break the final layers of containment and find there way into the deep blue sea…

I know the plot sounds like some B movie bullshit but I can assure you it comes together quite well. The characters are solid and there is alot of effort put into suspense, tension, score and the scenery. At the time, for 1999, the shark effects were pretty damn good and much of it still is. There are some questionable moments of early CGI and the notorious Samuel L. Jackson scene that is pretty hilarious and WTF. I have to be honest, Deep Blue Sea is my favorite shark movie and I think it’s pretty underrated, though not a boneified classic like Jaws (1975) but definitely deserves a cult classic status. May the gaming gods bring you glory and beware of sharks.

Some things I’m pumped for in 2018

2018

So we all have that one form of beloved entertainment we have, whether it’s book, movie, game, music, or madness fueled clog dancing while singing Shirley Temple tunes (don’t judge me man). So I wanted to share some of what I’m pumped for in 2018. In no particular order, let’s begin with…

aquaman 1. Aquaman- if you caught our reviews on Justice League (2017) , you’ll know our favorite part was Aquaman. On top of that, I love Black Manta and I can’t wait to see these two badasses duke it out on the big screen.

2.We happy few- ever since I first saw the trailer for this trippy, unsettling game that looks like a much more survival oriented Bioshock, I was hooked. Like maddeningly so.

3. Halloween 2018- I miss Michael Myers and I was thrilled Jamie Lee Curtis is returning but even more exited original Michael Myers Nick Castle is reprising his role. Is it weird this film redcons every other Halloween film but the original, yeah, but I’m willing to see what’s to come.

4. Code Vein- a game styled like Dark Souls with a beautiful anime art style and vampires. Just hell yeah.

5. Black Panther- Granted, I’m pretty hyped for all of the Marvel movies of the year but I have a soft spot for Panther. He was one of my favorite parts of Civil War and best of all, the movie comes out right next to my Birthday so even better.

These were just a few quick things but I’m sure more will come up through the year. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes all around.

Bright (2017)

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Bright is another Netflix movie that I really need to stop underestimating. The movie of course isn’t perfect, and Will Smith basically just played Will Smith again as he always does. The story is also quite predictable to the point that I knew the ending about 30 minutes in and that is never a good thing.

All that aside the movie has a pretty original idea for movie in this day and age. Instead of the usual cop movie on Earth we have an Earth where humans orcs and elves all exist side by side, but in a rather nice twist they always have. Magic is greatly condemned however as about 2000 years ago a dark figure attempted to conquer the world using it. The orcs are basically regulated to being viewed as 3nd class citizens because they sided with the dark one. It is also quite implied that racism doesn’t exist so much as discrimination against species does, where Elves see themselves superior everyone and orcs being pretty much the lowest and humans somewhere in the middle.

Will Smith returns to work with his partner that happens to be the first ever orc police officer which you can imagine does not make the other police happy, all of which are human. Will Smiths character is also not happy since he was shot on duty while his partner bought a burrito and the suspect escaped. No the movie is not perfect, but the action is nice and for those that care to look it is quite thought provoking, but not in your face thought provoking. It is all pretty subtle while the actual story of them attempting to stop rogue elves from recovering a magic wand to revive the dark one to take over the world. This one is worth a watch, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Devil’s Rejects

devils reject

There is very few times in film where the sequel is absolutely better than the original. This is one of those times. With a better characters, story, music, and a darker, more intense situations elevate this to a pretty memorable, and disturbing western horror movie.

Rejects begins with the Firefly family’s homestead getting raided by the police in a violent shootout, lead by Sheriff Wydell whose brother was killed in the last movie. With there mama captured, Otis and Baby are on the run and trying to find Captain Spaulding, while getting there kicks off by terrorizing and torturing a traveling country group. Wydell, filling with rage begins losing himself as he starts going down his own dark path as he tries to kill the rest of the family.

As I said in the intro, pretty much everything got a lot better this time time around. While Otis, Baby, and Spaulding are horrible, unlikable people you do see the humanity in them by the end, while Wydell is a decent lawman who loses his by the end. The 70’s music and gritty cinematography add an extra layer to the movie. Bill Mosely stole the show for me as Otis, who reminded me of the late Charles Manson in his malevolent, satanic nature. Yes, this movie is vulgar as hell and incredibly disturbing and intense but damn it is a great movie that will leave you breathless by the conclusion by far it’s the best film I’ve seen from Zombie. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes to all.

House of 1000 Corpses

house of 1000 corpses

I grew up a 90’s numetal kid that I still love to this day, one of my favorites being Rob Zombie. As well as being a numetal fan, I also love horror so when I saw the trailers for Rob Zombie’s first horror film I was full of bright, cheery, optimism. What came of it?

House of 1000 Corpses is essentially Rob Zombie’s grungier, more vulgar take on Texas Chainsaw Massacre. People break down on the road in the middle of nowhere and are at the mercy of a family of madmen known as the Firefly Family. The most famous character of this family is Captain Spalding, a clown who runs a strange sideshow attraction.

I have to be honest, though it has become a cult classic over the years, I can’t say I like House of 1000 Corpses. Some of the imagery is cool and I do appreciate the throwback to old school horror exploitation, I felt there wasn’t much to differentiate it from movies like TCM, except the vulgarity which there is a shitload of. I can’t really recommend it unless you like Rob Zombie as a artist, other than that, skip to the sequel. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alienate (2016)

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I am just going to be 100% honest with you. This movie is one of those movies that is a complete failure that could have been a damn good movie. The story is basically about a man obsessed with his work that leaves on a business trip pretty much as his marriage fails. The down side? There happens to be an alien invasion. Now He struggles to make his way home as the world falls apart. The invasion itself is pretty smartly done. While planes are knocked out of the sky and something is placed in the water to pacify the population people panic.

The down side is I am pretty sure this movie was made by a bunch of students that got some funding and new actors willing to work for free and experience. The acting wasn’t all that good, but that could be because the script itself was pretty lackluster. The special effects also left much to be desired. The movie it self pretty much served very little purpose except to exist. That being said, the movie has a lot of potential. The story had potential and with some time it and the characters could have been turned into something memorable and the invasion itself was one of the better thought out plans I have personally come across. In the end it is simply a B movie that may be worth checking out,but don’t expect a great or even a good flick. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Piranha 3D (2010)

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This movie is a classic B movie. It has stars you know, but not really anyone huge. Like that fat kid from stand by me that was in sliders (Jerry O’Connell) and Christopher Lloyd playing a crazy seeming fish doctor. It has a story that blatantly makes no real sense, but has a slight ring of seems plausible with prehistoric fish being trapped in a sort of cave that are released into a lake that go on a feeding frenzy. What is the only thing missing? A huge party full of college kids, naked women, booze and badly done deaths with mountains of death. Actually, that is pretty much the main plot of the story.

See while all this is going on Jerrys character is pretty much this movies version of the guy that started Girls Gone Wild and he is at this lake for spring break to throw a party with barely legal girls to shoot his new video, and everyone wants in. The fish just weren’t planned on. The story is barely passable the acting is exactly what you would expect and the movie is pretty much about parties and death. It is simply pointless fun, death and women.It is a fun watch tho, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jaws: The Revenge

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Remember how I said Jaws 3 was almost the worst Jaws movie? Here is why. They decided there needed to be a 4th one, titled Jaws the Revenge. It is pretty much universally seen as the worst one, and no aside what some think ‘Cruel Jaws” the movie about a tiger shark is not actually a Jaws movie despite some areas marketing this Italian film as such.

With our kind sheriff dead and his family moved down to the Caribbean after many years have passed we find that one of his sons has become a ocean researcher. And wouldn’t you know it, a giant man eating Great White Shark is hunting him. The movie looks nice and the acting is solid. That kind of is where the good parts end. The story is more out there than the last and it may be the most pointless sequel to ever be created. Tho I do have to admit the ending it self was fun, the series should have ended with Jaws 2 and I find myself desperately hoping a 5 or a reboot never finds its way to creation. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.