Category: Movie Review

Batman and Robin

batman and robin

I’m not going to tell you this movies is good in the traditional way. In fact, if you aren’t younger than seven or you don’t like crappy movies, than don’t watch this. If you are drunk, or you enjoy shitty movies than this a must see.

So Batman and Robin go up against Mr. Freeze, a mutated cryo expert that wants to hold Gotham ransom to fund the research to save his frozen wife from a disease. Batman and Robin are at odds with each other, because Robin is impulsive and Batman is a control freak. Well besides Freeze, new seductive villainess Poison Ivy comes out with mind controlled droid of a dude named Bane. And Alfred’s dying and his niece Barbara is out to be with him. And…oh boy…

As a huge Batman fan, this movie is absolute ass. I mean if you try to look at it as reminiscent of the Adam West stuff, that will help a bit but all the puns will make you want to dive into a bottle of booze. Seriously, don’t drink to the puns in this movie- you will die of alcohol poisoning. I can’t think of one character I felt was actually done right. I do believe Schwarzenegger could have done alright as Mr Freeze if given a better script, but I don’t know anyone else that would agree with me. My most hated part of this is Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy- OMG she comes off as a plant fetish call girl hooker. Bane is offensively bad. George Clooney is hilariously bland as Batman. There’s a lot of over the top action and the look of everything is really over the top. Seriously, this movie pisses me off as a Batman film but I love it as a shitty movie, so it’s up to you to decide. May the gaming gods bring you glory and protect  you from the horrors of bat nipples.

Dundee trailer

Why, man? Why did Crocodile Dundee have to get resurrected in this day and age? Granted, after Alien: Covenant I grew a lot of respect for Danny McBride as a actor, I love the supporting cast, and I like the film is kinda reversing the premise of the classic. But I hate that it is connected to Crocodile Dundee. In the end, time will tell, but being connected to this franchise I feel hurts it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Batman Forever

batman forever

Ok, I just have to say this, Batman Forever and Judge Dredd were the very first superhero movies I ever saw. I was four and I’m well aware neither film isn’t exactly regarded as a classic nor have aged particularly well but I still love the hell out of this thing.

So our third time around, this time with Val Kilmer as Batman, Batman faces off against his old friend Harvey Dent, now Two-Face. Aiding the police in the investigation is sexy Dr Chase Meridian who thinks Batman is super hot because he’s dark, mysterious, and he’s a buff dude in a black rubber suit. Bruce however starts courting chase when he goes to her for consultation on a creepy letter he was left by a disgruntled employee, Edward Nygma, who became the Riddler. So Riddler joins forces with Two-Face and has a plan to drain the brains of Gotham. On top of this, Bruce feels a huge sense of history repeating when young acrobat named Dick Grayson is left orphaned after Two-Face kills his family, much in the same way Joker killed Batman’s. To face the duo, Batman needs to team up with Robin and also rediscover why he chose to be Batman…

Ok, first I have to say the tone is definitely more vibrant and more family oriented than the Burton films. This is the first of two now by Joel Schulemacher- and yes tomorrow I’m talking about the infamous elephant in the room. Kilmer is alright as Batman and Bruce Wayne but I feel like he was trying to be more like Keaton. Nicole Kidman is pretty much eye candy as chase. Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face is what kills the movie; what would have been a great casting choice was a total crapshoot because it’s played for laughs. I’m going to say the best part of it, by far is Jim Carrey as Riddler. He is genuinely creepy but also funny. Chris O Donnell as Robin was my favorite as a kid. Despite some hokey ass moments, I think it’s a fun superhero flick. Nothing really special but by no means a shit storm. I’d say it is the second best of the four. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mute trailer

Being kinda late to the party on this kinda sucks, but I’m here and I am really excited for movie coming to NetFlix. First of all, I have to say this movie looks freaking beautiful so far. I’m not familiar with Duncan Jones but I know he’s made some good shit in recent years so I can’t wait to give his work a try. Plus I haven’t really seen a good sci-fi movie in awhile. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Good Catholic (2017)

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The Good Catholic is the story about a young priest in training working hard at two things, being a man of god, and being a great runner. Than one day this man of gods takes the confession of a girl and both of their lives start to change, possibly forever in this romantic comedy. Through out the movie he will deal with various things, from sermons, the death of his father even discovering that the clergy do need interest besides god.

The problem is The Good Catholic never really becomes that good of a movie. Outside of John McGinley (doctor Cox from Scrubs) the movie is never actually funny, and the movie isn’t even all that much of a romance movie. The main character isn’t even good. Not the actor by the way, the character himself is just dull. I am sure some people will enjoy this, but if you are looking for a good laugh or love story there are far better movies out there. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hereditary trailer

This trailer has been invading my YouTube feed as of late so I checked it out. I think this is a possession film with a twist. Normally, I’m not a huge fan of the sub-genre but this did make me curious. I would check this out strictly because I can already tell there is heart in this; I don’t get the vibe of this being a manufactured movie. Check out the trailer and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Wraith (1986)

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The wraith has some weird personal memories for me, see my brother loved this movie. I’ve seen it a million times. As a kid I ended up hating this movie. Its a good movie, I just saw it so many times and he loved it so much I ended up hating the damned thing. However I did feel it deserved a review for nostalgia reasons and because it actually is a really good and original movie, at least for what it was.

A group of motor head gang members pretty much run an area. They steal, they rob and everyone knows it, but nobody can prove it. They also have a love of racing and occasionally force people into racing for their cars, Enter a mysterious stranger. He also likes to race, but he races for an entirely different reason.

He starts challenging these guys to races and when he starts winning, he kills them. forces them off the road, pulls ahead spins and crashes into them head on. All sorts of ways. Then his car somehow comes back together unharmed and away he goes. This wraith has his reasons, and they are good. If you are a car guy or gal that likes sexy cars and death, check this one out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Batman Returns

batman returns

For everything Burton’s first film did right, the sequel did wrong. But hey, its a Christmas movie, all being a unpleasant one.

So the movie opens on a jolly Christmas note, a couple of stuck up parents throw there deformed baby in the sewer…where he gets adopted by penguins and circus freaks. Ok. Well years later this baby grows up to be Penguin, leader of this gang of circus freaks. After Penguin takes slimy corporate mogul Max Shrek hostage, he uses his influence to gain backing to get a leg up in Gotham. On top of this, Shrek killed his mousy secretary Selena Kyle, who comes back from the dead as batshit insane but sexy Catwoman. So it’s up to Batman to deal with both sides of this weird ass equation…

Ok, as you can imagine, this movie is kinda a clusterf@ck of ideas and plot threads. In fact, for a movie called Batman Returns, I feel Batman is a background character. I don’t feel he is the primary focus and I can’t tell if the script sucked that bad or Keaton just said screw it and sleep walked through a lot of it.  Danny Devito and Michelle Pheiffer are pretty good as Penguin and Catwoman but the script gives them some awkward ass moments. As for the film itself, you can tell this is a Tim Burton film through and through, which kills a lot of the dark tone set by the first but tries making it goofier but tries being darker at the same time and its conflicting. As a final note, Penguin’s evil scheme at the very end is one of the lamest things I’ve ever heard. In the end, it’s ok to watch once but it’s something you will just forget. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Space Balls (1987)

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There isn’t much to say about space balls, its a classic Mel Brooks movie. It is goofy, funny, blatantly mocks and parodys another more famous movie while slightly making fun of things in society. You also probably saw it as a kid and didn’t truly understand many of the jokes until you watch it again as an adult. One example that I always remember is when the are combing the desert with actual combs. As a kid I always laugh because obviously this isn’t what they meant. I never picked up on the not so subtle racial joke of the 2 black guys yelling “we ain’t found shit” while using a hair pick instead of the long hair comb you always see white greasers using in the 50’s.

The movie however is amazing, and like always never takes itself serious. It tells the story of Lone Star saving a princess while Lord Helmet and the evil empire tries to use her as ransom to steal air. Yes, air. Anyway any fan of the comedy genre need to see this one, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

AntMan and the Wasp trailer

It’s finally here folks, our look at Antman and the Wasp. I’m glad the story so far looks very heavy on the ramifications of the end of Civil War where we see Scott Lang, Hank and Hope Pym on the run still. So far, we really haven’y had a MCU film to be greatly affected by the end of Civil War. I have to say, I love Wasp’s intro in this trailer. I always liked Wasp more than Antman; also we get more Gi-Antman action which is always welcome. I’m really excited. May the gaming gods bring you glory.