47 Meters Down (2016)

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47 Meters Down is the story of two sisters on vacation in Mexico, both of them having their own personal issues. These issues however honestly aren’t even important except maybe to push them towards some bad decisions. Not really a bad decision tho, sort of. They meet two friend guys that invite them scuba diving in a cage to see some sharks, which they do every weekend on their friends boat.  This is actually pretty common. Not the running off with strange men in Mexico to dive with sharks, that is borderline retarded. Just the actual act of diving in a cage with sharks.

So they end up the next day, on a boat with three men they really don’t know, now I have to say this, I was expecting this to get real bad for these two women, and it does. For a lot of reasons, but not these dudes. By the end of the movie I actually felt bad for assuming these guys were complete scum. As the movie goes on tho they are doing typical boat stuff, throwing dead fish in the water, getting gear set up, telling jokes. Typical boring stuff. In fact the movie is actually a pretty slow build. Its cool tho, we will get a pay off right?

Eventually the men go down in the cage and we get to see some huge sharks as the ladies get changed. Nothing odd here, just some general conversation and the dude left on the boat politely keeping his eyes and hands to himself. The men come up, the sister that lied about knowing how to scuba dive gets a crash course on how to do it which the owner of the boat was oddly okay with being lied to about. Now its time to get in the water.

After getting some cool time with the fishes and sharks, and dropping the camera into a shark’s mouth like she promised not to do things get bad. The cable starts to slip, they start to bring it up and…snap.

We finally get to the good stuff. The cage plummets to the bottom. I won’t spoil the rest of the movie, but the rest of the movie has to do with them stuck at the bottom of the ocean, getting out of the cage and discovering they actually need to stay in the cage, because the sharks are still in the water, and oxygen is running out fast.

Sadly while the movie has its moments of being extremely exciting and fun, you spend most of your time waiting for it. Most of the characters are hardly worth caring about and I never much cared if anyone lived or died. The movie was fun, but there are better movies out there. I won’t say don’t watch it, just be aware you may be disappointed. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Switch (2010)

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The Switch is an interesting movie in the sense that it is listed as a comedy but it never made me laugh, but it never tried to. It is simply the story of an ageing woman who wants a baby, and her best friend that is in love with her getting hammered and switching the samples. I do mean HAMMERED by the way, he doesn’t even remember doing this for about 7 years. She moves back to town, he gets to know the kid notices some similarities people make some comments he puts two and two together his friend mentions some comments he made when he showed up drunk at his house and there we go.

While that does sum up the plot of the movie, and it really isn’t a funny movie, that doesn’t make the movie bad. Aniston and Bateman are both great actors and have amazing chemistry together. You can believe their friendship as it slowly builds to the inevitable love we know was coming as it always does in these movies and Batemans growing friendship with the son Sebastian is natural and well done.

The script is also great, the only real question here is do you like the kind of drama with a little humor thrown in, not the kind that makes you laugh just the kind that lightens the mood. If the answer is yes by all means check this one out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Slumber (2017)

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You guys know I don’t always like to say bad things about the things I review. So I will start with the good things. For starters, the acting was great. Alice Arnolds played her role amazing as did the rest of the cast.

That is it, I am done. If you came here for a positive review stop reading. I have nothing left positive to say. I am about to list why you should not watch this movie. For starters, the story of sleep paralysis has been done in other movies. Those movies have pretty much universally in my experience done it better. They all also pretty much involve the same story. A family goes to a sleep doctor that tries to convince them its all a normal occurrence, finds out it is a demon and tries to help and oh yea, has personal experience as a child that a member of their family had a similar issue. In this case it was her brother.

The demon in this case also isn’t even scary, it’s just a shadow that occasionally pushes people in what looks like a special effect straight out of the 70’s. It is very badly done.  Also it will sometimes lift them up almost exorcist style about a foot off the bed, also badly done. Most of the special effects are badly done. Oh, and I can’t forget to mention the tip off on the demon comes from a janitor that our main character knew was stealing sedatives from the hospital but she never said anything about because she is apparently a horrible doctor.

Now the ending. In the next paragraph I will spoil the ending. I will post a couple of pictures to break up this paragraph and the next paragraph. You have been warned, after the pictures I AM GOING TO SPOIL THE ENDING IN THE PARAGRAPH AFTER THE PICTURES, STOP READING NOW TO AVOID THIS, AND MAY THE GAMING GODS BRING YOU GLORY.

Ok seriously, last chance to avoid me ruining this ending…and here we go. The ending is god awful. Basically we get the family in a small country home where they attempt to save the families little boy, because despite the entire family being tormented by this demon the little boy is really hated by this thing. So they decide to send the daughter off with the sedative thief on a car ride to protect her while the rest stay behind to protect the boy, which hey fair strategy. During all this the demon mostly attacks the good doctor while everyone else is slowly driven off the deep end. He posses the sedative thief’s grandpa because he owns the house, I guess and he escaped him once before and delivers a sick headbutt to the good doctor and attempts to kill the boy. At the last second she grabs a kitchen knife and stabs him. Thats how they kill the demon, a damn kitchen knife through the heart of gramps, who tells her she did the right thing and now he can finally get a good nights sleep.

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You didn’t think that was the end did you? Oh no, we fast forward to a beautiful hotel room and a Skype call between the good doctor and her husband and daughter. Things are good they are playing a game things are grand. Until the lil one starts humming a lullaby, mom freaks out and hubby says he can’t do this anymore and the camera swings around as two guys in lab coats rush in and the big reveal is, she is now in the nut house. Yup a horrible kill scene for the demon and a horrible twist ending that wasn’t even needed that is meant to leave you wondering, is she there because she killed a man, or because she is obsessed with this demon and her job? Thanks for reading this long, so long, and may the gaming gods protect your slumber.

It’s a Disaster (2013)

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This is an interesting movie, basically a couples brunch gets pretty weird. One is a new couple, he a teacher, her the one that has a horrible taste in men. Another couple is forever engaged and twist, she won’t set a date. Watch the movie, you will understand why, seriously I wanted to punch this guy in the face. He is a paranoid conspiracy nut. We also have a couple that is, ok them I can’t explain without spoiling stuff.

The brunch actually starts pretty ok, until things aren’t ok. We find out the couple throwing this usual brunch are about to get divorced. So when the cable and stuff start going out it is assumed this is just a petty move to be vindictive. This is not the case however. What is actually going on is the our brunch happens to be taking place in the blast radius of chemical weapons. America has been attacked.

The weird part of all this? The movie is a comedy. Quite a decent one I might add. The movie isn’t amazing by any means, but it is worth a watch. There also some pretty good plat twist that I won’t spoil. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Just Friends (2005)

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Oh Ryan Reynolds, you wily bastard. This dude pretty much always makes me laugh, and just friends is no different. From him starting out as a nerdy fat kid that can barely talk to his best friend and woman he loves to player that warns a friend that once you enter the friend zone you become a total non sexual object, like a lamp. He plays his role perfectly.

After being humiliated and swearing to become someone, and a pop star accidentally setting a fire and grounding a plane in his home town in New Jersey he must spend a night at home where he hasn’t been since. Of course we have the usual runs into girl, tries to date girl, things go bad, hilarity ensues. It is a rom-com, we know the routine. There isn’t anything new here, and honestly do we every expect there to be? The movie is funny and the story good but it is cliché. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Oculus (2013)

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Gonna break up the gaming stuff with a horror movie that I watched a bit ago and never got around to reviewing. This one was actually pretty cool. This mirror throughout the years has killed many people and been lost for various reasons. Each time reappearing killing plants in the home, the dog and the people.

In the modern age a man tortures his wife and to protect his sister, his son murders him and is locked away until he is 21. But is this what really happened? Well after being released his sister brings him to the family home with a huge set up of cameras, food, alarms to remind them to eat and a weight set up rigged with no electronics so if they don’t reset it every half hour it would swing down and smash, you guessed it, the mirror.

The plan is to stay in the house and record the entire thing, and when this mirror attempts to kill them this will prove the brother is no murderer and the father was not the man everyone thought he was. The weight was to protect them, with the mirror needing them alive to reset the alarm the thought was it would be unable to kill them.

From here on out we see the brother and sister slowly start fighting as the brother insist the sister is remembering events wrong as they attempt to talk about what happened. She attempts to remind his of the truth. It doesn’t take long for the plants to die. As things get more weird things get more weird. What they think they see isn’t always what is real, and what they know to be fake sometimes is very very real.

The movie is well done, and at times in the movie as the viewer I actually wasn’t quite sure what was and wasn’t real, but I was never actually confused as to the plot of the movie. It was easy to follow but disturbing enough to be interesting with a very nice ending. I would very much suggest watching it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The First Time (2012)

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Every so often I toss on a movie not because I care to watch it but just so I have something to watch while I work and so I have something to review. Seriously its like some weird illness. The story is of course about a boy and a girl who meet at a party, and end up hitting it off. She of course has a boyfriend which complicates things. As the friendship grows over the course of about a day things just grow even more complicated.

They do eventually of course get together, in both the dating and sexual sense. As the name of the movie implies the story is about their first time both together and in general. Also, it goes HORRIBLE. Seriously, there is an entire scene about it where they talk about it being bad and not sure how or why and it just being a train wreck. Now maybe it’s because my first time was with someone who’s first time was not with me, but I don’t remember a discussion like that. I remember a cigarette and a few days of thinking I can not believe that just happened. My story is a bit crazy tho.

Any way the movie is really good, and takes a rather realistic look at high school romance at times which is rather rare in my experience. There is also a rather cool Jay and Silent bob moment. Seriously we have a short English dude that says a lot and a tall fat black dude, plays football and they call him Big Corporation and says almost nothing the entire movie. Get it, because they destroy everything? Anyway towards the end of the movie sitting in a diner our English friend is lecturing our boy and giving him really bad advice when suddenly Big C gives him amazing advice to save the day.

Anyway the movie is worth checking out if you like rom-coms. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Playing it Cool (2014)

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Playing it cool caught my eye cuz honestly I was bored and needed something to watch and it was there. Chris Evans is Captain America, Michelle Monaghan is cute, I tossed the movie on.

The movie is about A man who has never been in love and is tasked with writing a romantic comedy. While doing research to write it he actually falls for a woman, but because every movie needs some drama she of course is with someone. Honestly the movie is cliché as hell, almost to the point of being unbearable. From the grandfather that was in the Navy and met his grandmother right before shipping out all the way to tossing a rock at her window, and since it’s a comedy he even breaks the wrong window.

The movie is pretty funny at times, and the movie is entertaining enough, but the movie is just so cliché and awkward at times. The acting is top-notch, the story itself is just uninspired. However if you can simply accept that and watch the movie for what it is, it is pretty fun. The chemistry between Chris and Michelle is great and his friends are amazing. I would definitely watch it, but not if you are looking for something more than a distraction, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Special Correspondents (2016)

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This movie is going to be a like it or hate it situation, I doubt anyone loves it sadly. Ricky Gervais (Albert) and Eric Bana(Frank) play a news tech and a news reporter respectively in New York. Eric is a local celeb that is boss sort of hates and Ricky is a man doing his best that his wife, well his wife is a bitch he just doesn’t know it. Yet.

One day they are chosen to go do a report in Ecuador, the issue? Albert and his wife have a small falling out and in his despair he accidentally tosses the passports,and the tickets and the money. So basically he messes up a lot. This however will be the least of their problems as Frank decides to fake the entire trip.

This starts out pretty well, small phone call, some general info and computer and sound tricks from Albert. Then they invent a leader that other news agencies run with. This sounds like it can not get worse doesn’t it? Until they fake being captured. Yup, this movie takes all kinds of weird turns from bad to even worse. It actually gets even worse from there, but I won’t go any further. I actually really enjoyed the movie and do not understand the hate from many people. The script was nice and it was just different enough to be interesting. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Masked Saint (2016)

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So I am rummaging thru Netflix and I come across this movie. Now I am a sucker for a wrestling movie, I used to be one. Then I see it has Roddy Piper in. I was a huge fan. There is no way I’m not watching this movie. opening credits end with “Inspired by a true story”. I am hardly convinced. So I watch the movie. But we will get to that,but I want to share this.

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Yes for you book lovers, there is a book by Chris Whaley that the movie is based on, he also happens to be the Pastor/wrestler from the story. I have not read it, but it is something that is out there.

Now back to the movie. First, the acting is pretty good, better than I expected. I was honestly expecting some train wreck level acting like many of these style of “true story” movies have, but that isn’t the case.

The story itself is rather interesting, a retiring wrestler is injured after a shady promoter ( Piper) breaks his word and the new up and comer (The Reaper) intentionally breaks The Saints leg. When he takes over the new perish Chris discovers it is failing pretty hard as most of the people have abandoned it and it is mostly kept running due to one wealthy man and his donations that he will soon lose when he gets into a fight with him.

When Chris is invited to a wrestling event by a friend, coincidentally his former employees event, he prevents The Reaper from injuring his friend which gets him an invite back into the ring. Trust me, leaving the ring is not easy, and it never truly leaves your system. On the way home however he puts his mask on to stop a woman of the night from being mugged, and that is when things truly start to change.

I won’t get into too much more detail. The movie is however worth watching and unsurprisingly the wrestling segments are pretty well done. They don’t give away anything you honestly can’t google, but they don’t treat people like they are stupid either. We all know in 2018 the stuff is scripted and they don’t hide that and I appreciated that. So go give the saint a watch, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.