Invader Zim

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Zim and Gir will always be close to my heart. This Nickelodeon cartoon was creepy if not damn right disturbing at times but had a sort of dark manic humor that your average early 2000’s cartoon didn’t have, that was quickly dying with the 90’s. Invader Zim is the story of Zim, a disgraced alien conqueror sent to Earth on a bogus mission with his lovable but defective servant droid Gir as they try desperately to conquer our world undetected. But Dib suspects Zim’s secret, a young man in Zim’s class obsessed with aliens and government conspiracies who wants to go down in history for dissecting Zim….This show pushed a lot of boundaries with it’s more mature themes like Zim stealing organs because he’s afraid the school nurse will discover he ain’t human, that always stuck with me. I don’t recommend this to the easily creeped or weirded out but for that insane weird kid at heart, definitely worth watching on Hulu.

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Top 5 Stephen King adaptations

king So this year’s IT remake is crushing box office records, and rightfully so. If you grew up anytime between the 80’s and 90’s, chances are you’ve heard the tales of Stephen King. If like me you grew up with parents that liked horror, some of your first nightmares came from a King based movie, so I just wanted to give you all my list of best King adaptations. Granted, these are just my personal favorites, listed from least to greatest.

The Mist

5. The Mist- holy shit this movie is sad. Like seriously heart wrenching shit. Simply The Mist is about a group of people who loose it trapped in a grocery store during a mysterious monster filled mist. I loved that the mist wasn’t so much the true horror as it was religious madness that spread throughout the people. The characters are relate able, there’s a fair amount of gore and good acting so definitely check it out before watching the show.

misery film  4. Misery- I second guessed being a writer after this way too real horror story of a writer who finds himself face to face with his batshit insane biggest fan. Someday soon I will be doing a combo review on the book and movie and while I like the book better the movie is pretty damn close. Kathy Bates is amazing as the psychotic Annie Wilkes in a performance I can’t credit enough.

carrie 2002 3. Carrie (2002)- A lot of people aren’t even aware this even exists and it’s a damn shame. Everyone knows the original 76 movie and many know of the well publicized 2013 remake, but I adore the 2002 made for TV remake much more. First, I love Angela Bettis as Carrie, being sympathetic, desperate, but showing a delicate inner strength I think fits the character beautifully. The effects are epic and I appreciate how close to the book it stays, straying away for a new ending I liked very much. Harder to find but definitely worth the time.

it  2. IT (2017)- Quite possibly the best movie I’ve seen all year, this remake took me greatly by surprise. I love the mini series for all it’s whacky shit but the remake is gritty and dark, full of both great child actors and Bill Skarrsgard is amazing as Pennywise, it’s one hell of a ride.

Pet Sematary 1. Pet Sematary- The movie that introduced me to Stephen King, a movie that still lingers with Michael Myers and a hive of Aliens in the depths of my earliest nightmares comes the story that dares to ask what if the dead didn’t have to stay dead? Roughly 30 years old this movie holds up great with memorable performances, freaky imagery, and a sad second half that will let you know why sometimes dead is better.

Alien: Covenant

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I picked this poster above for one reason, the promotional art for Covenant kind of sums up the movie, bland and much of it a retread of something from another Alien film. Of the six, Covenant is probably my least favorite but after rewatching it I found some good, just at the end of the day don’t ask too many questions because god only knows you won’t get answers.

Covenant picks up a decade after the Prometheus disappeared with a colony ship heading to a suitable planet to terraform and colonize it. An android, Walter (also played by Fassbender) waits on the ship while the crew, colonists, and embryos sleep soundly. Until they hit the neutrino storm and after a malfunction, the captain of the Covenant dies in hypersleep by burning to death. The ship is partially damaged, the crew is distraught and saddened by the death of there Captain and they are years away from there destination. The religious second mate is promoted and tensions flare when he tries to put his foot down and urges them to push on rather than allowing them to mourn for a little bit. While repairing the ship in space, Tennessee, the ship’s pilot gets a strange transmission from a nearby planet. He captures it with his helmet and upon inspecting it, it’s a woman signing John Denver…yep…so Daniels, the Captain’s widow and Oram the new Captain butt heads when he decides to cut there trip short and investigate the planet that they detect can sustain human life. Daniels smartly calls this stupid. But nope…here we go. Ok, alot of this is derivative of other films in the series. They go down in normal gear, no space suits or even protective gear, nothing, which off the bat that level of idiocy already kind of hurts the movie because what happens next, I can’t bring myself to feel much sympathy. They find the Engineer ship crashed from the end of Prometheus and Shaw’s dogtag. A guy goes to take a shit in the woods and triggers a reaction from a tiny pod on the ground, releasing a spore form of the black ooze that drifts into his ear. Another dude inhales it on the crashed derelict. They get pale and delirious. Idiot 1 gets brought back to the shuttle, comatose kinda as something rips through his back. From his entrails we see a creature, the baby Neomorph attack Tennessee and Oram’s wives, and in a mishap the shuttle gets blown up. Idiot 2’s throat gets broken open by another neo and in a cool scene the group is attacked by the feral creatures. A hooded figure rescues them and brings them to his home, a Engineer Colosseum full of dead Engineers mummified in the pathogenic goo. The figure is David. Throughout the next half hour we learn Shaw is dead, killed by David as well as the thousands of Engineers and for ten years David has been experimenting with life forms and the goo in an attempt to create the ultimate lifeform- the Alien essentially. The neomorph finds it’s way into David’s sanctum and kills some more people. The crew catches on David is insane but Oram corners him, falling into David’s true experiment, the room of eggs. In a ridiculously fast time the creature we know and love is birthed from Oram while another dude has a facehugger on for three seconds and somehow gets impregnated…ok so the alien makes a pretty epic entrance and the ship scene we get from the trailors is fucking cool and intense, I give it that.

protomorph  In the end the finale feels very close to classic Alien only modernized and we find out David killed Walter and now he’s got a whole colony to experiment on and no one to stop him.

Ok, so Covenant is my least favorite of the series for good reason. Every other film in the series has it’s own unique identity while I feel Covenant is trying too hard to be others. It borrows a shit ton from Alien, Prometheus, and Alien 3. A complaint I hear about Prometheus was they felt the symbolism and messages were pretentious but Covenant kicked it up five or six notches. The characters were meh at best except Danny Mcbride as Tennessee and of Course Michael Fassbender as David and Walter. All the YouTube promotions they did, giving the characters more depth should have just been in the damn movie to begin with, seriously Scott just because Overwatch got away with it doesn’t mean you can too. What hurt most of all was there was a truly terrifying, beautiful movie in this but all the Prometheus criticism got to him and now we essentially got a knock off of two other movies wrapped around 25 minutes of good material. I’m shitting on this more than I want to but it is the biggest disappointment I’ve seen in a while, but if you want a movie that looks beautiful with some good kills and gore or you love Michael Fassbender, you’ll appreciate it. I don’t hate it but I wish we got Paradise Lost instead. alien c1

Prometheus

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If you haven’t figured out how dedicated I am to the Alien series, I literally ran almost three miles to my nearest movie theater to catch this and I don’t regret it. I’ve heard the arguments why some thrashed the pseudo prequel to Alien- I say pseudo prequel in the way The Hobbit is a pseudo prequel to Lord of the Rings. Both happen before, both have relevant characters, and both in essence have almost jack shit to do with the main story. Many look at Hobbit separate from the LotR trilogy which I think is appropriate; Prometheus deserves the same respect.

Prometheus is the story of the crew of the ship named so as they journey to a desolate world in search for the Engineers of mankind. On earth,  Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway  discovers ancient star maps indicating that man was created by otherworldly beings and in these drawings are coordinates to another planet, LV-223. The expedition is funded by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation (the very same as in the Alien series though the movies refer to them primarily as just “The Company”). We get a brief glimpse of the founder of Wey-Yu, Peter Weyland, a decrepit old man and in the same breath introduced to Vickers, the edgy corporate head on the trip and David, the synthetic meant to be Weyland’s finest creation. David cares for the ship while the rest of the humans are in hyper sleep. LV-223 is barren of any life but they find a massive structure fans of Alien will know well as a space ship. Inside they find the severed humanoid head belonging to one of the Engineers, evidence something dark happened on that ship, and several containers of a black tar like substance. David sneaks a canister of it away, while Shaw investigates the head. David drops a single drop of the substance into Holloway’s drink and drinking it, him and Shaw bone. We learn Shaw still believes in god even after discovering our creators, she was close with her father and her mother died when she was young, and she can’t have children. Charlie wakes up with blood running out of his eye. Hours later his body starts irrevocably breaking down, his face swelling and contorting, his skin turn black. Vickers nukes Holloway with a flamethrower to cut the threat of contagion. Shaw is sedated and brought on board. The day before, two idiot crew members got lost on the ship and trapped there during a sandstorm. In the first WTF scene of the film, the hammerpede emerges from the ooze and kills them, the last victim falling into the ooze. After Holloway got torched outside the ship, the pit crew comes upon a terrifying surprise. There lost crew mate returns in a startling new way- in the theatrical version he looks like more a rabid ape man but a deleted scene reveals much more traditional alien features. He attacks with feral speed and inhuman strength; it takes like four guys with flamethrowers to bring his ass down, leaving four or five dead in less than two minutes. Shaw awakes to an even more disturbing fact, hours have passed since Charlie died and shes four months pregnant…and it’s not human. In a harrowing scene, she gives herself a C section on a med tube, revealing the baby trilobite, getting the hell out of there with the creature trapped in the tube. She discovers Peter Weylnd was on the ship all along and Vickers is his daughter, and both Shaw and Weyland want answers from a sleeping Engineer, but the question remains, why did they want to destroy us?

Prometheus is a good, thoughtful Sci-fi epic about man’s greatest question: where do we come from? Michael Fassbender steals the show as David, a complex character I couldn’t peg as truly good or evil but sympathetic. I also have to say Naomi Repace gave a very underrated performance as Shaw. The cinematography is beautiful and the movie has a great sense of wonder and awe in it’s scope; the score is a good blend of original score with small nuances of the Classic Alien’s score. If I have to pick a flaw it’s that it raises a shitload questions you know it won’t answer by the end. If you jump in expecting a A to B prequel, you will be severely disappointed but go in wanting a good classic Sci-Fi epic with some creepy if not disturbing body horror moments, you’ll enjoy it.

deacon

Carrie

Carrie bk

The classic that started it all for the legend that is Stephen King. I’m sure we’ve all either seen one of the 3 film adaptations or seen a parody of it somewhere, my first intro to Carrie was a moment in Tiny Toons for shit sake. If you haven’t been introduced to this classic, here’s the gist: a unpopular girl in high school gets bullied for being weird while at home she takes shit from her insanely over religious mother and learns she has the gift of telekinesis (the ability to move things with her mind.) When life looks to be looking up when she begins to understand the power and gets asked to prom by a popular guy, it violently goes to shit when she gets drenched in pig blood as a prank and Carrie goes apeshit. First I’m going to say I love the book. Every film has Carrie has a defenseless, skinny, quiet, girl but in the book we’re able to see her dark, hateful feelings boiling inside and her feelings on god which are interesting; of every adaptation I always enjoyed the book’s bleak ending the best. Carrie dies wounded on the side of the road after killing her mother, most of her classmates and destroying most of the town, just her and Sue Snell- the mean girl who took pity on Carrie. They talk one last time, Carrie driving her lifetime of pain into Sue’s memory like a nail, dying before sending out one last wave to scramble the minds of the town so they can’t remember much except that Carrie fucked them up. The 2002 film has an intersting ending where Carrie lived and her and Sue ran off, forever on the run. Of the films, 2002 was my favorite and most accurate to the book. For the original, Piper Laurie stole the show as Carrie’s mad mother, one of the scariest performances I’ve ever seen but Sissy Spacek is probably my least favorite Carrie. As for the 2013 remake, Chloe Grace Moretz gave a great performance as Carrie but besides that the movie was a modern day retread with DragonBall Z effects. Either way you go with it, it’s still a great story but I do recommend hitting the book first, it’s a quick but powerful read from a powerful writer.

It (2017)

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Today me and Savior had our first official outing as Saviorgaming, being able to head out to see a movie and say we were working- one of the coolest feelings ever. We saw It pretty much the most epic way possible at the new Iron Horse Movie Bistro in downtown Scranton, and we rode the bus back…getting dropped off at Jackson Street in the rain…next to sewer grate and we were legitimately  creeped out over the coincidence. I’m just gonna say this, I’m sorry I ever gave this movie shit. Upon the first release, I didn’t like Pennywise’s new design initially; I thought the first couple trailers were ok but nothing special. I was insanely wrong.

It is the story of Bill, Richie, Ben, Beverly, Eddie, Mike, and Stanley- young kids deemed preteen losers in Derry, Maine during the late 80’s who have to come together to stop Pennywise the shape-shifting demon clown that feeds on children and fear. One of Stephen King’s most famous and frightening horror stories, It was two part mini series in 1990 with Tim Curry playing Pennywise, becoming an iconic figure of 90’s horror. Problem was it was a series meant for basic cable so we got a accurate but watered down version of the tale, but 27 years later Pennywise returned as he does in the lore, new and brilliantly portrayed by Bill Skarrsgard. Whereas Curry had a more natural lightheartedness about him and his look was more of a normal clown, the modern look is more accurate to what I pictured when I started reading the book, no much a perfect imitation of a clown but something clearly trying to imitate but not fully succeeding. I like his aged, vintage appearence, a long open face with long pointed teeth reminiscent of classic Nosferatu, and a very off putting thing where his left eye keeps drifting. The effects on all of his forms are great and this movie does not pull back on the violence toward children which I respect; the opening scene with Georgie, it doesn’t cut away when Pennywise shows his true form and chomps Georgie’s arm clean off. I admit to jumping when this happened, knowing this sure as shit wasn’t edited for TV. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the movie’s lead children do an amazing job, showing a genuine chemistry I haven’t seen since Guardians of the Galaxy or the Power Rangers reboot. I believe them as relate able kids, not squeaky clean Hollywood kids- they swear, they freak out, and they deal with some really heavy shit in there lives. I really can’t find any serious flaws with the plot, except that Ben and Mike feel kinda pushed back to the side but not to the degree I’ve seen in other movies but overall I highly recommend It and unless I see something at least twice as good, I’m calling It my favorite horror movie of the year. May the gaming gods bring you glory…because everything floats.

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Final Fantasy 10: first impressions

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So first I gotta say I’m not finished with the game yet, actually Savior told me i’m not even half way done yet but I wanted to talk about my experience  so far. Many, many- ok so pretty much all of my friends that game are huge Final Fantasy fans. I’ve never played one before so I wanted to see what all the hype was about. I got to say I love this game. In a nutshell…so far…Final Fantasy 10 is the story of a famous blitz-ball player named Tidus from the metropolis of Zanarkand. During a huge game, a massive beast called Sin attacks Zanarkand and Tidus gets thrown into another time and a journey to aid young beautiful summoner Yuna and her guardians Wakka, Lulu, Kimarhi, Rikku, and Auron to vanquish Sin and the summoner gone rogue Seymour. Where I left of was the first boss battle against Seymour. Remastered on PlayStation 4, this game is literally breathtaking. I seriously was blown away by the beauty of the game. I haven’t really played many turn based RPGs but this is a fun and simple way to start. It’s a welcome change from FPS. Besides the graphics, the characters drive me deeper into this odyssey. The best compliment I can give this game is I haven’t been so invested in the welfare of game characters since the Mass Effect trilogy. Final Fantasy 10 is a awesome game so far and I can’t wait to see all that comes next.