Howdy ho, friends, Torsten V returns from a much needed vacation. Coming back from vacation, I returned to the much anticipated first trailer to the latest installment of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. This is the story of legendary slasher Leatherface as a teenager and what I’m going to assume is another Leatherface origin story. So first things first, I feel like I have to wonder if this part of the original timeline or a new series of films upcoming. I personally didn’t mind the remake and its prequel, in fact I actually like the more serious, darker tone. But with 2013’s Texas Chainsaw 3-D, that swept back into the original time line and frankly dissolve the series into a hot shitty mess. It;s a interesting question to ask. I liked a lot of the imagery of the trailer, including the fresh look of the mask but I wish there was a little more story in the trailer, just to get an idea where the hell it is in the timeline. Good to be back, and may the gaming gods be with you.
Author: torstenvblog
Writer of the strange and everything; lover of horror, literature, comics, and the alien is my spirit animal
Universal expansion: good or evil?
In 2008, most of us freaked the hell out when Samuel L. Jackson uttered the phrase that orgasm-ed every nerd’s heart at the end of Iron Man: “I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative”. I myself didn’t think it would work, building up to one huge cinematic event over five movies. But in 2012 I ate my words when it worked. Marvel and Disney started the trend and now cinematic universes have either resurfaced or tried to emerge on there own, but no one has come close to Marvel’s success with the MCU. Three phases in and still kicking ass. DC attempted to sloppily rush to catch up, stumbling with the critical punching bag Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice that essentially tried to be a Man of Steel sequel, a stand alone batman film, a Dark Knight Returns adaptation, a Wonder Woman intro, a Death of Superman adaptation, as well introduce, Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg while introducing the concepts of the MotherBoxes and holy shit it was bloated with not much pay off any where. Recently, Universal pictures released its latest incarnation of The Mummy specifically made to launch there updated “Dark Universe”. Well, it bombed. You see, back in grandparents day when black and white film was standard and Universal Pictures was king of the Hill, they were one of the first examples of crossing properties with movies like “Dracula versus The Wolfman” and such like it. Decades later, from what I’ve gathered, they took the classic Universal monsters and tried fitting them into an Avengers formula. So Far the Kaiju Universe has met with fair to moderate success with the 2014 Godzilla remake and Kong: Skull Island which got mixed reviews and the Godzilla sequel set for 2019 I believe; another example of another cinematic universe revived for modern times. Meanwhile Star Wars expanded their cinematic universe with the inclusion of side stories like last year’s Rogue One, which met with critical review (despite my own review); Fox released Deadpool, a spin off to the X Men Universe with critical acclaim, set to launch a possible X Force universe someday; coming this August and September are the Dark Tower film and It remakes from the mind of Stephen King, the most legendary horror writer of our time. If eyed closely, the Dark Tower books are the spoke that locks King’s universe together cleverly with easter eggs rather full on cross overs.
So what separates the unforgettables from the duds? It’s a mix of effort, material, and understanding. Marvel gets this almost perfectly. They understand their heroes, what makes them stand out, what themes surround each individual story and the importance of theme to each character, and there huge stories are told with care. I was genuinely impressed with Captain America: Cival War and how well all the characters felt relevant and there was growth in them since previous installments, they weren’t just there to be there (I’m talking to YOU D.O.J and Mummy!). I’m not entirely against the flood of universes making there way to the cinemas, I just ask they be made with love.
So, what’s you guys take on all this? Leave a comment below and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Until Dawn
Until Dawn did for horror gaming Cabin in the Woods did for horror movies, and that’s the best compliment I can give. Normally I’m not a fan of point and click games but when I got dropped into what at first I assumed was gong to be a rip off of Friday the 13th in video game form, much like how Cabin leads you to think it’s going to a Evil Dead clone at first glance. The story revolves around a group of College friends who traditionally meet at a cabin during holiday break. Tragedy strikes when two of there friends die in what seems to a accident after a prank gone wrong. A year later the friends meet again, there friendships strained by the tragedy. During the course of a fierce blizzard, they begin to suspect they aren’t alone up there after all…
No, I’m not spoiling it because frankly the ending is cleaver as hell. Also, I give the writers bonus credit for talking about a monster not often utilized in horror that’s both fascinating and has a lot of potential; aren’t we all a bit burned out on vampires and zombies these days? As I I mentioned, I’m not a point and click fan but the mechanics they add like fast QTES and the motion control parts add a little extra flavor. The game is built around the “butterfly effect”, where every action you do or don’t do greatly impacts the characters. Once you are aware of this, you can use this to either aid or hinder them; oh did I screw some of the characters I hated. There are several outcomes to the game so highly replayable. The voice acting is good, but Peter Stommare steals the show as “the therapist”. Overall, it’s a fun game in the spirit of Cabin in the Woods or Friday the 13th so pick it up for free this month on PS plus.
Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps War
Sinestro Corps War plays a major role to Green Lantern’s story because it ends with the shattering of the emotional spectrum and the emergance of other lights, other lanterns, and the last coming before the finality of the prophesied Blackest Night. It takes place after Parallax possessed Hal Jordan and slayed most of the Green Lantern Corps, for which the other Lanterns now fear him. The Corp is rebuilding but so is Sinestro’s with a plan to destroy them all once and for all. Using Parallax again, he uses Kyle Raynor this time, formerly the Green Lanterns last hope and bearer of their entity Ion; and using another lesser known weakness of the green power rings and there inability to use lethal force, he assembles a massive. bloody attack on the remnants of the Green Lanterns. Suddenly the mistakes of the Guardians of the universe start forming a noose around there necks as they begin to argue over the validity of the prophecy of Blackest Night as well as well as the pressure of unlocking the lethal force protocols, opening the pandoras box they had opened with the Manhunters centuries ago. Against the wishes of two of the Guardians, who see the vows they had taken to abandon emotion being used against them, they take the names of Ganthet and Sayd and reach out privately to once greatest Green Lantern Hal Jordan to warn him of the horrible times coming, urging him to pull himself together and get ready to lead the Corps and face his ultimate fears and his ultimate enemy…
This book is they definition of epic with it roster of rich characters both good and evil and it’s massive battlegrounds through worlds and space. Again Geoff Johns writes an an amazing story of fear and revenge. The art is breathtaking and color full. It caneither be read in two volumes or a large combined book. I will say I won’t recommend it for DC comic virgins because the story is very involved in the DC universe with the inclusion of Cyborg-Superman as a main character on Sinestro’s side, the events of Emerald Twilight, and and some deep lantern mythos. It’s not a totally inaccessible story for new comers but I sure as hell don’t recommend it as a first dip into Green Lantern, but recommend it I do.
“In Brightest Day and Blackest Night, no evil shall escape my sight. For those who worship evil’s might, beware my power: Green Lantern’s Light!” the green lantern oath.
“In Blackest Day and Brighest Night, beware your fears made into light. Let those who try to stop what’s right, burn lie my power: Sinestro’s might!” Sinestro Corps oath.
Lord of the flies
So this is a weird one, friends. Lord of Flies is a book that is both strange and deep, much like Animal Farm, showcasing the the evils that can spawn in the hearts of man without the threat of society’s consequence. During the dawn of WW2, a plane full of English boys crash lands on a island in the middle of nowhere. They are the only human inhabitants. Our character is Ralph, a carefree young lad transfixed with the promise of no grown ups and a island to explore. Soon he meets Piggy, a fat, asthmatic boy in glasses who acts as a thread to rationality to the story. Together they find a conch shell in the sand; Ralph blows on it to summon the others. Others come forth, including a band of black clad choir group led by Jack Merridew. Ralph and Jack, two of the oldest, old a vote to see who leads the group. Ralph is voted chief, while Jack takes point of leading hunters for food. The goal is simple: build and maintain a fire on top of the island and survive. Ralph quickly discovers the hardships of chiefdom- the fire isn’t easy to keep up, fear spreads among the little ones of a monster that lives on the island eating the children, and ultimately his tumultuous clashing with Jack, who slowly falls into madness and overthrows Ralph by violent force.
By itself Lord of the Flies is a hard book to classify; it exhibits pieces of psychological horror, parable like animal farm, and straight up adventure epic. It’s a very slow burn, but like many good stories of this kind, once the eerie and dark parts begin it escalates nicely. My favorite aspect is Jack’s slow descent into madness and how he throws away much of morality behind clay paint he wears, feeling disconnected enough not to be affected by the blood he starts enjoying spilling. I enjoy the grim look at man’s action without consequence. My only gripe is yes this is a slow ass burn and not even a big book. A lot of detail goes into the scenery and setting, much like the novel for The Shining which is fine but sometimes, ok more than sometimes, hurts the pacing. Absolutely worth a read if you ever wondered what a cross between Children of the Corn and Gilligan’s Island would be like.
Star Wars: the Clone Wars (05)
Since I covered what I felt to be the most overrated Star Wars entry to date, I thought it would only be fitting to cover the most underrated piece of the series that sadly isn’t canon anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I hold no ill will towards the canon series; I enjoy that a lot too. But the first series came to me at a time when I was beginning to discover anime. The animation style feels very reminiscent of Samurai Jack, and though only 25 episodes, most of which are only 5 minutes long, they’ve stuck with me more 12 years after the fact with there unique blend of quick storytelling and anime influences.
This series directly bridges the gap between Attack of the clones and Revenge of the Sith. The Clone Wars are in full swing. Count Dooku arranges an unusual bounty hunter to assassinate Obi-Wan. But while in seclusion, a young woman finds him and slays the beasts Dooku sends against her with ease because she is strong with the force. Wielding two lightsabers, one blue and the other green, she drops the final beast and utters the words “I am sith.” Dooku sends the woman, Aasj Ventress to assassinate Anakin SkyWalker with her new red sabers. In space she finds him, strands him alone on a swampy world, murdering his troops one by one until he’s alone. They duel, pushing Anakin over the edge, making him strike her down with the power of the dark side. The image of Anakin standing on a cliff while Ventress falls, screaming with the glowing red blade in his mechanical hand against a red sky is very powerful. Soon after, a new figure in the Confederacy emerges, the fearsome droid commander General Grievous. When first debuted, Grievous was a beast with a agile, strong body and a dangerously strange means of using Lightsabers in combat. The finale of the series leads into the opening scene of Sith. The whole series can be found on Youtube; if you want a more condensed, less child-friendly take on the Clone Wars that has more of a anime feel, I highly recommend it. May the force be with you and the gaming gods bring you glory.
Star wars: Rogue One
I did not go into watching Rogue One: a Star Wars Story with the enthusiasm I’ve seen countless others go into with; I couldn’t help but think “I already know how this is going to end? What’s the point of seeing a two hour movie about something I was perfectly content with knowing in a sentence of exposition from the Original Star Wars movie?” Seriously, I never wondered how the rebels got the plans for the Death Star, I just knew they got them and the people who got them died doing it…but we live in that kind of world anymore. No more mystery, every little thing has to be delved into and exploited…I’m sorry, it’s a sore topic but kind of relevant in that, while not a terrible movie, it isn’t great either.
The story begins with our heroine, Jyn Erso as a little girl hiding out with her family from the clutches of the Galactic Empire. Jyn’s father, Galen, is one of the Empire’s greatest scientific minds in charge of developing the infamous super weapon : the Death Star. Her mother is murdered by the main villain (sorry guys, you get less Vader in this than Joker in Suicide Squad), her father taken by the Empire, and she’s brought up by a man named Sol, a guerrilla leader fighting his own war against the Empire…Ok, here’s where I cut the bullshit and maybe hurt some feelings: With the exception of K2SO, I didn’t really have a complete connection to any character in this film. Our main protagonists, Jyn and Cassian, were passable. Many of there companions had cool traits or even the beginnings of a cool story behind them but I can’t tell you there names. For our main villain, couldn’t tell you his name, just that I wish Vader finished his ass off on the landing platform. Speaking of characters while we’re at it, they have a lot of CGI restorations of actors in there youth or plain old not with us anymore. Moments of there rendering are fine but in the case of some of Tarkin’s dialogue or Princess Leia’s reveal, the skin looks kind of like plastic, which is a bit jarring. For positive’s, the action scenes are pretty damn sweet. The final 20 minutes are the best finale I’ve seen to a movie in a little while and are on par with Avengers-level awesome to behold. The moment that steals the show is Darth Vader’s three minute rebel massacre; if the prequels tarnished your image of Vader’s cold, angry, fearsome exterior, this scene will bring it all back to his rightful place. Overall, Rogue One is overrated as hell but worth a redbox rent; just Youtube the Vader finale and tell me that isn’t jaw-droppingly bad ass.
Twilight
Once upon a time, Torsten V was a 18 year old emo kid who actually found Twilight a fascinating book with a cool story and decent characters. Back then, I only had read a couple books on my own and I was in a bad place in life and, OK, the excuses are piling up on me, aren’t they? Well, Torsten V grew up, read more books, and learned the truth about Twilight- it sucks. Twilight is the story of boring ass Bella Swan who moves to Forks, Washington to live with her dad. Forks is a small, rainy, boring town. She goes to school and there she sees the Cullens for the first time, a group of overly pretty, rich, pasty kids that are adopted siblings of the town’s Dr. She has Bio with Edward Cullen, a dude that looks at her like she hasn’t showered in week and hauls ass away from her the second the bell rings. Two days later, he talks to her and seems interested in her ordinary life. Couple days later she’s almost crushed by a skidding van (if only that’s how it woulda ended.) In a flash Edward appears and shoves the van back with ease, denting the side of it with his bare hand, disappearing into the distance again. Through her own personal investigation, Bella discovers Edward is a vampire, and how could she be safe with him- oh I forgot to mention it’s a love story.
Ok, I’m not going to 100% crap on the book. Yes- the characters are meh at best. Yes- the villain really has no meaning to the overall narrative and is more tacked on than Rhino at the end of Amazing Spider-man 2. Yes- Bella is a shallow character with no real past and willing to hurt her poor dad for a guy she met like a month prior. And YES- these novels are not particularly well written; no where 50 shades bad though. I will say the first person perspective is done believably; Bella is written to be a 17 year old girl of average intelligence, and that I can believe unlike other stories I’ve read in this perspective where the speaker and the character don’t match ( I once read a book told through the voice of a middle school drop out who reasoned shit and spoke like the bastard had a Phd. That kind of bullshit.) And debatable as it is, some of the vampire lore is interesting. I actually think it was cleaver to have there beautiful appearance aid in luring their natural prey. I like the idea of vampires building a lifestyle where they aren’t monsters and I feel like restructured it could lead to some good plot threads. As for the movie…you ever hangout with your friends, grab a pizza and some beer and watch a shitty movie for laughs? I bring you the twilight movie as a prime example. The effects suck, the acting sucks, the action at the end is just funny, but I admit the score is good. In fact the soundtrack ain’t bad, and I’m not even into that kind of music really. So did the twilight series murder vampires? Eh, it didn’t kill it but it stated the virus that did. May the gaming gods bring you glory and beware sparkly emo people…sigh.
Dracula
Dracula…what can be said of the most legendary vampire and one of horror’s oldest and greatest icons that hasn’t been said? This harrowing and creepy novel has been adapted to several movies ranging from the greatness of Bela Legosi and Christopher Lee to the crap shoot that was Dracula 2000 and the awesome manga/ anime Hellsing, which kind of inspired me to write this review. The story is told through a series of letters, newspaper articles and journals either by the characters or pertaining to them in some fashion, which I thought was really cleaver for the time. For this review I’ m going to skip a direct synopsis because let’s face it, after watching several adaptations and then reading the novel, the plot seems cemented into the public’s mind one way or another: a Gothic manor in the mountains of Transylvania, an immortal bad ass rising from a coffin to do battle with men armed with torches, wooden stakes and garlic, and the names Harker, Van Hellsing, and of course Dracula feasting on the blood of the innocent. I enjoyed the book more than I thought I would have; and good news to all of the people like myself that have a hard time dealing with old English, the dialect isn’t as intense as many other books I’ve read from the time period. There are lags in the pacing but a great sense of atmosphere and tension. Dracula is far more OP than people give him credit, I mean shit dude, he can control werewolves. He’s more closer in ability to Alucard from the Hellsing manga/ anime series or the 2014 film Dracula Untold. Van Hellsing, despite what the 2004 movie with Hugh Jackman would have you believe, is not a expirenced monster-hunter but a wise physician and teacher. Still epic in his conviction and a great character. My only real issue is the ending is anticlimactic, especially after a well paced race against time, but I can let it slide. If you’re a upcoming writer like myself or want a great horror story, definitely worth a pick up…which I got to give a shout-out to my Bestie for giving me the E reader I read it on a few years back, you were amazing as always:) may the gaming gods bring you all glory and god help me for my next review, for Dracula maybe the best of vampire stories, but next I cover the worst…gulp…
Phantasm
I will never look at jawas the same again…Phantasm is a cult late 70’s horror movie about a kid named Mike who saw too much. Mikes a normal kid who’s had it rough, his parents recently passed away and for now he lives with his older brother Jody, who besides dealing with his new responsibilities and the death of his parents, is dealing with a friend’s death too. Mike shadows Jody and his best friend Reggie as they attend the funeral. Suddenly Mike sees something disturbing during the funeral procession that none of the adults seem to see; the elderly undertaker lifts the casket out of the hearse and carries it under his arm like it was nothing. And he knows he was being watched. Mike tells Jody what he saw but Jody just assumes his little brother was just pulling his leg. Mike almost believes him until the nightmare, which provokes him to visit the mausoleum of the cemetery; only to be nearly killed by a mysterious blade-pronged floating orb. But even that deadly sphere is nothing compared to the Tall Man, who has it out for Mike and his family…
I fell in love with Phantasm at the tender age of 18 when I first had the pleasure of watching it. It’s not a slasher movie, or a ghost movie, or a even a creature movie. With a simple premise of a kid seeing something bizarre grown ups don’t believe, the movie blows up into a wild mix of compact inter-dimensional zombies, a killer flying ball (that has one of the greatest kills I’ve ever seen in a horror movie), other worlds, a bad ass villain whose almost immortal and immeasurably powerful, and a great ending that makes you wonder what the fuck you just watched. Angus Scrum as the Tall Man is intimidating as hell, wearing a eerie grimace as he slowly walks, rarely speaking in his deep, gruff voice. I love the keyboard score with the suburban atmosphere and the use of darkness. It may not be hugely action packed but visually it’s interesting and the plot is just strange but original. If your a horror fan in the making and your tired of the staples of conventional horror, definitely check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory and beware the Tall Man…oh god beware the Tall Man!
Savior Gaming 