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Apollo 18

Starting off I have to say I’m pretty sure this maybe one of the most ambitious found footage horror movies I’ve seen. I can’t say I ever saw one that left the confines of planet earth, going to the moon.

The Apollo 18 mission was the last supposed manned mission to the moon. Officially it didn’t happen; the movie tells us what really happened. Three astronauts journeyed up there and while two landed to surface. All begins well as they collect what appear to be harmless rock samples. Small things begin going awry but questions arise when they find the remains of a Cosmonaut ship and the ravaged bodies of the astronauts. It starts appearing that something is alive on the moon, lurking in it’s dark craters, beneath the rocks. Millions of miles from home, isolated, a lone survivor has to try escaping from his mysteriously infected comrade the horror of our moon…

What the movie does really well is feel period appropriate and I have to admit it’s blended well with stock footage to mostly feel authentic. I like the utter silence and tension in the creepy atmosphere. The acting is solid enough and the sound is solid. I feel the creature aspect hurts the movie on a few levels, mostly because how the hell does a living thing survive without food, water, or any vegetation whatsoever? I think it should have dealt with the psychological aspects of the intense claustrophobia and isolation. What also kills the movie is the pacing, it takes a real long time to build for not a huge amount of pay off considering the movie alludes to the ending in the opening anyway. In the end, it isn’t terrible but you aren’t missing too much if you skip it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Addams Family trailer 1

As a kid I loved the hell out of the Addams Family and the movies that came out in the 90’s, but I have to admit I was kind of bewildered that we were getting a animated movie in 2019. While I like the opening of the trailer, I wasn’t too impressed with the rest of it. I think there is talent in the cast but I’ve never been a fan of this kind of animation. I giggled at the Pennywise joke I have to admit it. I would find myself watching this just because of how much I liked the original, but I don’t have really high hopes. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pet Sematary 2019

p sem ellie

Pet Sematary is what made me a Stephen King fan as a little kid, making me feel uneasy in the fact cemeteries are always a two minute walk away from everywhere I’ve ever lived. The story means a great deal to me so I was a bit irritable when the remake was announced and hinted in the The Dark Tower . But if It (2017) was any indication, I was willing to give it a shot knowing that it sure as hell wasn’t going to be the story I knew. Was I right to be worried?

The Creeds are a normal family who move into a picturesque farm house in the middle of the country. Lewis is a Dr who wants to slow down and spend time with wife Rachael and kids spirited Ellie and baby Gage and Church the cat. While exploring the back woods, Ellie stumbles upon a creepy procession of kids in animal masks going to bury a dead dog in the Pet Sematary, where kids have buried there pets for generations says Judd Crandall, the Creed’s neighbor. Much the like original Lewis is being warned by the ghost of Pascow who he tried to save to avoid the Sematary, or rather what’s behind the dead fall. Some barriers were not meant to be crossed…

I give this remake credit, it does play with your expectations of either the original or the novel and that’s where it’s strongest. It was a huge mistake I believe to ruin the big twist that sets it apart in the trailers; I’m not going to spoil it but I actually really like how it turns out. The performances are really good but the girl that played Ellie I thought was fantastic and I hope to see more of her. The new imagery is cool but somehow feels close to the original. I warn people, do not go in expecting a A to B adaptation but more of a what if type of scenario. A few times the pacing was off throughout all three acts, sometimes dragging but other times feeling a little too fast, and there is a WTF moment involving a cow I’m sure Savior is going to bring up in his review that made us laugh. while I’ve heard others say there was too much exposition, I feel too much of Judd’s backstory was cut out and the Wendi-go stuff was mostly irrelevant. Overall, Pet Sematary is a good remake and a good, solid horror movie I recommend to all needing a good scare this spring. May the gaming gods bring you glory and remember…sometimes dead is indeed better.

The Chernobyl Diaries

chernobyl diaries

I’m a huge sucker for movies about mutation and messed up crap happening to the human body- such that a book took 16 years and counting of my life somewhat on the very subject. But there are some ideas, some stories that I swear no one really thinks of the basic logic behind them. Case in point- who in the fuck would randomly visit the site of Chernobyl as a casual tourist stop? I know many horror movies take a leap of faith of some kind to get going but I think a group of young Americans saying “let’s visit Chernobyl”- site of one of the world’s worst nuclear incidents and still well contaminated to this day is stretching it.

Essentially that’s the plot in a nutshell: four friends are traveling through Europe and before hitting Moscow, one of them meets a old Russian soldier named Yuri that offers to show them sites many don’t get to see- the ruins of Chernobyl. The group, with Yuri and two other tourists goes and sees the vast, abandoned landscapes and deformed fish in the streams, but it seems they ain’t alone. Can they survive being hunted while being hit by the radioactive fallout?

While there are good pieces, as a complete product this movie is just silly. I liked the scenery and feeling of tense isolation. I liked the deformed fish in the stream and the WTF jump scare with the bear ( oh yes, that’s a thing.) That’s about it. The plot is ludicrous and I couldn’t feel shit for the characters because they were dumbasses to be in that situation in the first place. The movie is piled thick with jump scares and shaky cam whenever something does happen, but it’s not a found footage film. I can’t recommend this unless you are drinking or you need a bad movie night but stay away from it like its radioactive otherwise. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Shazam

shazam

Haven’t we all wanted to be superheroes at one time or another? What if you could just utter a word and instantly with a streak of magic lightning be turned into the ultimate you? Super strong, fast, bulletproof, able to fly and control electricity are just some of the gifts bestowed on Billy Batson after crying out the name Shazam…

Billy Batson is a troubled youth, after losing his mom as a toddler he’s spent the better part of his life searching for her while doing everything in his power to ditch foster care. After so many families, Billy’s last chance is in a group home headed by two good people. After kicking the asses of some bullies picking on Freddie, his disabled, superhero obsessed foster brother, Billy’s life is changed on the subway when he’s taken to a dying wizard who passes on his powers to Billy, hoping he’ll stop a angry, demonic infused Thad Sivana who has unleashed the evils of the 7 deadly sins after being rejected to adopt the powers of Shazam as a kid. It’s all fun and games for Billy, using his newfound powers and body to live out most kids fantasies, but will he make the right choices when the time comes and become a real hero?

Unlike the dark as hell Batman Vs Superman or edgy wannabe Suicide Squad , the DCEU has turned over a new leaf starting with Wonder Woman and Aquaman . Shazam is a lot of fun but I have to say I prefer WW and Aquaman more. There is a surprising amount of heart in this movie and a lot of scenes that tug at your heart strings. All of the kids and family are great but Zachary Levi as Shazam steals the show, he’s funny as hell, energetic, and fun as the grown hero. While Mark Strong, always a great villain, is good here I couldn’t help feeling his character could’ve been made more compelling instead of cartoon like bad guy ( not to mention I wish he could have continued playing Sinestro in a Green Lantern sequel) I do have to say the pacing is off a few times and the movie does drag here and there but the end is way longer than it has to be. Another issue I have is the CGI on the sins isn’t great and kinda took me out of what could have been some great scenes. In the end, Shazam isn’t perfect but it’s a good time I’d say worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Deadpool vs Carnage

dp v carnage

A while back I talked about this story in my list of 5 of my favorite Deadpool stories and randomly before heading off to my job that ain’t Saviorgaming, I plucked this bad boy off my comic bookcase and started reading it for old time sake. Both insane, murderous, red wearing smartasses that are nearly unkillable, this was bound to get messy…

The story begins with Cleatus Kassidy, the human part of Carnage, in prison for the murder sprees and mayhem he’s known for. This time he’s broken into near sanity without his other. Nearly hundreds of miles away the Carnage symbiote is being experimented on, yearning for it’s perfect host to bond with again. It breaks free of captivity, leching from one body to another until reuniting with Kassidy, becoming Carnage once again- vowing to serve true chaos once again, ditching plans of bigger things and devoting himself to pure bloody anarchy. And that he does in a horrendous killing spree, virtually unopposed, until Wade catches him on the TV one night. Wade, Deadpool, believes the ” TV people” are telling him he’s the only one crazy enough to be able to hunt down psycho and with that, the hunt is on. Blood spills on both sides until Carnage’s girl Shriek joins him and Deadpool seems screwed but he finds the mysterious Mercury team, trying to use the symbiotes for military use and suddenly Wade finds himself trying to fight fire with fire…

A majority of this comic feels like a R rated, bloody lost episode of Looney Tunes and it’s awesome. Both characters are evenly badass and have sweet moments throughout. I like how Deadpool of all people is the voice of reason and we get a good glimpse of him being disgusted by Carnage’s ruthless nature, making a more complex contrast than expected. The artwork is really solid and like typical Marvel fashion there is a nice prologue in the beginning, explaining both characters for the new comers so it’s very easy to pick up. I recommend as a good, funny, action packed quick read. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Annabelle comes home trailer

Am I the only one who finds it weird that that are officially more Annabelle movies than Conjuring movies in the Conjuring-universe? I love The Conjuring (2013) and thought The Conjuring 2 was alright but never understood why the hell WB thought making a cinematic universe out of these movies was a good idea, Annabelle: Creation being the only one in the series of spin-offs to be critically acclaimed. What to I make of Annabelle 3? Sadly I can’t say it’ll join Creation as the exception; I like the Warrens are actually in it and one or shot look cool but the rest of the trailer just feels like every other bland horror movie out there today. I hope I’m wrong as an optimist but time will tell. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Joker trailer 1

I’ve always had a weird feeling about knowing Joker was getting a solo origin movie. Much like Venom , I wasn’t sure if a villain movie could be as effective without the heroes they counter. But Joaquin Phoenix is a very talented dramatic actor and I actually found the new look interesting. The trailer looks eerie and I like Phoenix’s narrations. I’m now pretty invested in this now and I’m excited to see how the movie plays out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Scream 4

scream 4

Before I start talking about Scream 4, I feel I have to say this now: I love the Scream series and its directer, the legendary Wes Craven of The Hills Have Eyes , Last House on the Left , and Nightmare on Elm Street . Sadly, as far as I know, this was Craven’s last mainstream movie before he passed away years later. In the end, I don’t want to shit on this movie, but I have to be honest when doing this review…

Like many horror movies, Sidney Prescott’s story has been subject of tasteless, aimless sequel after sequel. Sid has become a famous, nationwide bestselling author who returns to her hometown as part of her book tour. Dewey is the town sheriff in charge while an unhappy Gale loses her mind as a writer in a small town. Meanwhile Sid’s younger cousin is seeming to have to repeat Sid’s past when a new killer is emerging, more violent than the ones in the past, trying to make a real life reboot.

So here we have a the definition of a pointless sequel. Besides an alright twist at the end and a funny opening scene, the movie doesn’t really have much to offer. Neve Campbell and Courtney Cox give good performances with Emma Roberts but the rest of the cast lacks enthusiasm. The movie drags a bit and lacks the tension of the other films because the characters no longer really drive it. While far from worst horror sequel ever, I don’t see a reason for it to exist except for an excuse to beat money out of a dormant franchise and I’m sad to see this be Craven’s last major movie so I say it’s great to skip. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Scream 3

scream 3

Sidney, deep in her heart, knew it wasn’t going to end. Her mother’s sins weren’t ever going to let her be, and the people she loved were going to pay. After the deaths at the college, Sid goes into hiding. Two movies later, with a third in production, Gale’s career is full swing and Dewey is helping with the production as an adviser. Trouble comes when Cotton, the man framed for the murder of Sid’s mother, is brutally killed all evidence points to a new copycat. But things are different now, this killer is able to take bullets and is smart enough to learn from the previous killers by using there identities against them. Along with this are the new revelations the killer brings about Sid’s mom and the legacy that lead down a surprisingly dark path. Can Sid, Dewey, and Gale bring down the final killer of a real life trilogy?

Scream 3 is divisive but to me personally, it was a good way to end the trilogy and weirdly one of my favorites. Again the main characters are what kept me invested. The story is overall solid with a good revelation but there are a few thin, disposable characters the water the movie down a bit. There is also more meta comedy and references which may bother some but I found pretty cool. The score and cinematography are again really good and the movie is well paced. In the end, Scream 3 is a good end to a pretty good trilogy- but stop there, I warn you. Just pretend Scream ends with a trilogy of good solid movies. May the gaming gods bring you glory.