You know, this is one of those damn movies I never thought would see the light of day (hehe lame vampire pun). It was announced, delayed, then disappeared for a few years before getting dumped on HBO Max like a dead carcass at the slaughterhouse. Years ago I reviewed the novel for Salem’s Lot and since then I’ve read it at least twice and I can say it is a damn good book and a pretty solid vampire tale. While I never saw either mini-series, the trailer for 2024 was enough to make Savior and I at least excited for a flaming dumpster fire. Did we get it?
Sadly no. Salem’s Lot 2024 is not a garbage fire. That’s not to say it’s particularly great or even good. The cast gives decent performances given a pretty crammed script. Much of the soul, the suspense, and characters of the book are crushed, compacted, and repackaged into a forgettable vampire romp. It’s the kind you can forget the same day you watch it which honestly is a shame given how good the book was. The vampires are more like zombies. Barlow isn’t a nightmarish ghoul like in the 79 mini-series but a parody of that memorable design. There’s not even as much gore or hilarious jumpscares as I thought there’d be in the trailer. In the end, read the book or seek out another vamp movie because good or bad, you’ll remember it more than this thing that should’ve stayed in the development grave. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
So I have to say I typically hate biopics. I’ve never been into biographies, and even less into autobiographical pieces. I went to see Oppenheimer in theaters at least expecting a good movie, considering the A-list cast and knowing it was directed by Christopher Nolan.
So the movie tells the story of acclaimed physicist and quantum theorist J. Robert Oppenheimer: the American Prometheus whose work and leadership at Los Alamos through WWII led to the first successful creation and test of the nuclear bomb, the end of WWII, and the arms race with the Soviet Union kicking off the Cold War. Throughout all of this, we get a very human look at a brilliant but very flawed man as well as the political crucifixion he endured in the midst of McCarthyism as well as the psychological fallout from what he unleashed on the world.
I’m not going to mince words, I loved Oppenheimer because I felt like it told such a truly human story. Cillian Murphy is spectacular and is surrounded by an outstanding supporting cast. Nolan brings his S game when it comes to establishing visuals that are both beautiful, awe-inspiring and damn terrifying. The music is beautiful. It is a 3+ hour movie that feels long but the pace runs smoothly. Whether the movie is historically accurate, I can’t really say. I do want to read the book much of the film was based on, which REALLY says something considering the opening statements of this review. What I admire maybe the most is the passion and love put into this movie, making it shine brighter and inspiring me quite a bit as a writer. In the end, I highly recommend it, especially in 4k our Blu-ray at the very least. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
Dr. Stephen Strange has overcome some tremendous feats not only as the Sorcerer Supreme, long-time hero, and renowned surgeon. Despite how much he’s overcome, his hands are failing him. While searching for help in man’s medicine, a new magical threat emerges when people begin spontaneously combusting and one of his dear friends becomes wrapped up in a deadly cult at the cause of the deadly pyres. Just another day for the good doctor, eh, true believers?
Ok, so first I gotta say two things about this book: the story itself is incredibly short and the art is the bizarre beauty I love about Strange’s stories. I was disappointed the Flight of Bones story itself is so short because I was getting pretty invested before it just…ends. There are quite a few other shorts in the book that are mostly good, all with different art styles that are wholly unique and eye-catching. When it comes to Marvel, Strange reliably has some of the coolest artwork and designs, and this book is no exception. Being under Marvel Knights, there is some adult imagery that might scare away the younger kids but many of the stories keep to a darker, bordering on horror edge that I love and I wish the MCU would embrace more with Strange. In the end, while not the best Strange story and not something that will make you fall in love with the Sorcerer Supreme ( I highly recommend Dr Strange & Dr Doom: Triumph and Torment ) it’s still worth checking out for some faster reads. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
Grief is a terrible thing everyone needs to overcome in their lives. For widower, Abe, fishing is his great release. After losing his wife, fishing helped him get his life back on track. When his coworker, Dan, goes through an unimaginable tragedy, Abe extends a hand of friendship and offers to fish with him. While a quiet friendship blooms between the widowed men, Abe can’t help but see Dan drowning in despair…until they stop for breakfast on a rainy morning, going towards a spot Abe never heard of that Dan seems all too eager to fish at. Almost obsessively so. During this breakfast, they are treated to a folktale of the river, dark magic, the impossible, and Der Fischer who may have opened the gates between life and death. Desperately the men are on a course that might not just cost them their lives, but also their souls as Dan is willing to sacrifice it all for what he lost? Will Abe make the same choice?
So immediately when reading this I thought of a more Lovecraftian take on Pet Sematary . In many ways, I can see it but Langan weaves a pretty solid story telling the folktale of Der Fischer in between the main story. His writing story is very easy to get into and flowed very smoothly to me. Some will get put off by the story within a story aspect of the novel but he neatly pulls it off and neither story feels overstayed. I like his depictions of Dan’s rising mania and Abe’s internal battle against the abominations they face. I found myself wanting to know more about what Der Fischer unleashed and got to see more horrors from the other world. In the end, if you liked Pet Sematary and wished there was Lovecraft in it or wanted to get into cosmic horror but wanted something more modern, the Fisherman is a quick, well-written read I’d recommend. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
Mary is a nobody in every sense of the word. Banking on the dreaded 5-0 and wading into menopause, alone in the world except for her “loved ones” (tiny little porcelain figurines she talks to, her life turns upside down once she loses her job. A job that barely pays her enough to get by as is. A sliver lining comes when her loathsome, dying aunt Nadine calls begging for help. After pissing off Mary’s cousin, Nadine is alone and unable to care for herself. Mary is soon left to journey from New York to the eerie desert town where she grew up. Returning home resurfaces not only her repressed hatred for her crass, despicable aunt by the layers of trauma she spent her life hiding as well as what might be the secrets of the town itself? With bodies piling up, visions playing Mary, and an obsession with a hospital that had been converted from an infamous serial killer’s home, the question becomes who and what is Mary?
So I read this book for my book club, going in completely fresh. I knew nothing about the book or author and was even kind of surprised it came out in 2022. As someone who sucks at socializing, suffers from a host of mental health issues, and is just awkward as hell, I felt for Mary. I found her to almost be an updated Carrie, someone shy, frumpy and pathetically beaten down who just wanted to matter. This story takes a lot of crazy ass turns from being a ghost story, to a psychological thriller, to some bizarre Midsommar levels of WTF. The book deserves to be experienced because it is fun as hell trying to figure out where its going. However fun that particular aspect is, it causes some issues towards the end. A character I hated got a half-assed redemption and the ultimate conclusion, while being fun and over-the-top gory, didn’t really satisfy me. The ending couple of chapters felt unnecessarily open-ended, but given how weird of a ride this story was, I can’t tell you if a sequel would work.
In the end, I enjoyed this book a lot but I didn’t love it. It’s very well written and really engaging but the ending as well as some plot choices fumble it from being great. Absolutely a good read worth checking out if you want a weirder kind of horror book. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
Hey kids, have you ever heard of splatterpunk? Have you ever watched Willy Wonka and wished there was Saw in it? Well, Aaron Beauregard has you covered. Before I begin, the cover of this book tells you exactly what you’re getting into. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, fuck that, here’s a good exception to the rule. This book is gnarly so if you have a weak stomach and the idea of children dying triggers you at all as well as some really, really WTF sexual stuff involving poop at one point, this book is absolutely not for you.
3 low-income families receive the chance of a lifetime from the reclusive billionaire and philanthropist, Geraldine Borden. She and her adopted son, Rock, have invited the families with their total 8 children to come and test some new state-of-the-art playground equipment in exchange for $3,000 per family. Not a bad deal, right? The parents even get to relax in their own private theater and monitor their children at play…until things go violently wrong. Ambushed by ravenous dogs, the children are chased through a razor blade-laced chute to a dungeonous series of macabre games where survival is the only reward. The parents, captive in places, are forced to watch there beloved children fight not only the horrific games but also themselves as Geraldine’s twisted games unfold…
Holy shit this book gave me whiplash. Is it a fun read? Hell no! Is it an exciting read I literally couldn’t put down? I really couldn’t. The kids are the superstars of the story and a lot of praise to Beauregard for writing thoughtful, authentic children instead of angelic Hollywood kind of kids. I felt for quite a few of them on their reactions and grisly fates while also cheering when the villain of the eight gets his just deserts. The games are eerie and pretty imaginative with some incredibly disturbing outcomes. I like that Geraldine is in no way a sympathetic or redeemable villain in a modern world of tragic villains. Rock is a really tragic character and his redemption at the end is well-earned. The flaw in the book is the parent sections which do drag the pacing down. The book is organized into 3 POVs: the kids, the parents, and Geraldine. The parents are literally locked in place and most of their sections revolve around reacting to what just happened to their kids. It makes the pacing a bit bumpy, especially around the middle.
So in the end I really enjoyed the book, though all be damned if I didn’t need a hot shower and a hug after. No, there’s no happy ending and yes this book is depressing and horrific but the ending lands and is self-contained which is cool. It’s honestly well worth a read and well written if you can get past the grotestuque subject matter. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
What do you think of when you hear about the Old West? Cowboys, Indians, covered wagons, and dusty saloons where a shootout is a shot of whiskey and a whore away? John Wayne? Clint Eastwood? John Marsten? Well, like most people I did too. I heard many tales that this novel was one of the darkest, if not the darkest westerns ever written with one of the most fascinating villains in literature. Does it hold up to the claims?
The story begins with a young runaway referred to as The Kid who finds his way into the Glanton Gang, a crew of scalp hunters roaming across the west near Texas and Mexico in the 1850s. Normally I’d go deeper into the story but Blood Meridian doesn’t have much of a coventional plot. Much of the book is an experience in haunting philoshy and depravity. For real, this book is grim as hell so if you are easily triggered by racism, violence to people or animals, gore, or rape stay away from this book.
Cormac McCarthy (Rest in Peace) beautifully illustrates a hellish depiction of the Old West and the horrors of man left his own devices. There is some truly horrifying imagery and the way the book is written, I felt strained as the gang does getting worn down after dozens of bloody raids and losses in a unforgiving desert. Could this be a second hand horror story? I can see it in the way Dante’s Inferno could be seen that way. I really like that the Kid is not a good kid corrupted by the debauchery or even has anything close to a redemption- nope- he’s just as cutthroat and ruthless as Glanton and the rest. The standout, the man who does steal the show of the book, is the mysterious Judge Holden. He’s a huge, hulking hairless albino man that is almost inhumanly intelligent and depraved more than the rest; the sermons he gives are legendary and off putting as hell. Whenever Holden appears I was instantly griped and I think the praise he receives as a villain is well earned.
So is this book a masterpiece, yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. First, this is not written like a modern book. McCarthy is a novelist in the true sense of the word; ten pages in I said “oh shit this is one of them smart people books we don’t get anymore”. He won’t hold your hand. He has a pretty impressive vocabulary. You have to pay attention. One thing I admit irked the shit out of me was that there are no quotation marks but an awful lot of dialogue; do you see why I said pay attention? He also loves giant sentences with little punctuation so if you are trying to rush, things will blend together. The pacing is a double edged sword. 350 pages doesn’t feel like it.
In the end, this book is a masterpiece of dark fiction but be warned it’s not the easiest read and if the book didn’t hit you hard enough, the ending will. May the gaming gods bring you glory and like the Judge, you keep dancing on and on gleefully.
You know its either got to be a really epic masterpiece or an atomic dumpster fire to bring me back and yet here I am. I followed the Callisto Protocol for quite a while, praying it would fill the void left in Dead Space’s absence. The gore, the aesthetic, the monsters seemed to be there but what horrors I found at Black Iron Prison were more than even I bargained for.
Jacob Lee is a space courier on his way to complete what should have been his last ride after being promised a huge payday. That is until his ship is boarded by what he first believes are pirates, who turn out to be terrorists related to a biological attack. Jacob dispels the terrorists but his ship crashes on Callisto, one of Jupiter’s moons. His cargo is intact but his shipmate is dead. Help comes quickly from Black Iron prison, taking Jacob against his will. Stranded and in the cruel prison’s grasp, all hell breaks loose when an unknown mutagen runs rampant through the prison, turning the guards and inmates into gruesome monsters. Can Jacob escape the moon with his sanity and his life?
Callisto may be trying super hard to be the spiritual successor to the Dead Space and if not for one glaring problem it might have passed as a dimestore knockoff. It’s not scary whatsoever, desperately relying on jump scares and gore that lose their steam early and become just plain damn annoying. The voice acting work is good but the characters never did much to grab me. The game does look good, which is the best compliment I can give it. The ultimate downfall comes in the bonkers ass gameplay. The game is first and foremost a melee brawler with one of the most bizarre control schemes I’ve used in a long, long time; once you shut your brain off, the combat is honestly pretty mindless. If that wasn’t enough, there are a lot of bullshit deaths that occur; at least the death scenes are ultra-bloody. In the end, The Callisto Protocol is a C rate knockoff of a horror classic that might be ok for a discount playthrough but I wouldn’t go suggest going past $20 at the absolute most (yes, I bought it day one for 60 and yes I did kick myself in the ass thank you very much). May the gaming gods bring you all glory.
So Thor, the loveable God of Thunder, has been through so much over his MCU journey and is now trying to find himself again. He thought hanging out with the Guardians of the Galaxy and losing all the weight would help but he finds himself in a rut until he learns of a new foe on the horizon out to slay every god. Along with Korg and Valkyrie, he finds himself joined by two old friends he never expected to see again, his ex girlfriend Jane Foster wielding a recontructed Mjolnir….
So remember how Thor: Ragnarok was a perfect mix of feels, laughs, and action? You ever wondered what that mix would look like gone horribly wrong? I present you: Love and Thunder. This movie is painfully unfunny. It tries shoving cringy jokes down your throat at breakneck speeds, 9/10 not landing, while also trying to be really dark and serious when it comes to Jane’s terminal cancer and Gorr’s rage. Christian Bale tried his ass off nd honestly, he was my favorite part of the movie although they really bitched Gorr down; I spent a lot of this movie wanting to hug Bale for giving it his all and going down with this dumpster fire. Everyone else is alright except Russel Crowe as Zeus, who was really miscast. The CGI is just ugly and the soundtrack becomes annoying really quick. Speaking of annoying, FUCK those god-forsaken goats. The fights are meh and the ending is just- sure, sure movie. This may be one of the shortest MCU flicks but holy crap it dragged. I tie Thor 4 with Black Widow as worst MCU film so far; those that complained about Thor: The Dark World , well, it just got a thousand times better. Taika Waitti is a talented director; I’m still in love with JoJo Rabbit and Ragnarok was really awesome so I’m hoping this was just a really bad fluke. Regardless, just skip this disaster. May the gaming gods bring you glory, or at the very least kill those annoying ass goats.
So where does the God of Mischief go with one of the most powerful artifacts in the known universe? Well, not very far because shortly after the events of Avengers: Endgame, he’s easily captured by the TVA, an organization designed to keep the flow of time and events on track in every timeline. Moebius, the agent in charge of Loki’s case, presents him a deal- help the TVA track down a dangerous variant running amok through the multiverse and maybe not go extinct. Things may not be all that they seem as Loki comes face to face with Sylvie, his female counterpart with a bloodlust for the TVA that could bring darkness across time and reality…
Ok, first things first, I love Hiddleston as Loki. I always have and always will. But I seriously think this six-episode series could have been condensed better into a two-hour movie. I fell asleep twice during my run of the show. It does pick up in the last couple of episodes, especially the finale, but holy shit to get there is an utter slog. I will say I loved Jonathan Majors as He Who Remains and I’m now excited for Kang the Conquer’s debut after the end. The acting is solid, the score is good with good effects but the pacing murders all of the good. In the end, you could honestly find the best part of this series on Youtube and I don’t think you’d be missing much. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
Savior Gaming 