Category: comedy

The Longest Yard (2005)

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The 2005 remake of a 1974 classic (same name) about an Ex-NFL football player turned convict after he was put on probation for throwing a football game and later for stealing his girlfriends car and going for a drunk joyride which very much violated his probation. His plan is to go to jail, keep his head down, do his time and get out. The football loving warden has a different plan.

Adam Sandler is tasked with with putting together a football team of convicts to play the guards in a football game that will get them ready for their prison football league. Joined by returning Burt Reynolds whom played the main character in original as well as Chris rock, Terry Crews and a host of professional wrestlers and at least 1 rapper the movie is pretty much an all star cast of famous people. It also happens to be pretty damn funny.

The movie isn’t without its faults mind you, for example the usual prison humor gets a bit old for example and the warden character while well played is poorly written and stereotypical to the extreme, but that may just be my personal pet peeve. It is a great movie tho, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Gremlins

gremlins

So again from Savior and I, Merry Christmas and happy holidays. Now here’s a movie for all those kids who wanted a puppy, kitten, or pony for Christmas and why taking care of your pets is important…if you don’t they will turn into monsters and try to kill you.

This Christmas adventure begins with a struggling inventor who visits a old Chinese antique shop in his travels, coming across the perfect present for his son Billy. An adorable creature that makes cute singing noises and is heart meltingly cute. Against the owners wishes, the inventor takes the creature and brings him back home. This creature has rules though: no sunlight, no water, and don’t feed it after midnight. Simple right? Well, Billy accidentally let’s his new pet Gizmo get wet, and something strange happens: Gizmo reproduces. However these new offspring aren’t as sweet and lovable as Gizmo, leading into trickery letting these  annoying little bastards to eat after midnight, transforming into violent, hideous creatures that are out for mayhem and chaos…

Gremlins is a classic anytime of year. The characters are memorable, the effects are great, and it does well to mix black comedy with some fair scares. I highly recommend this movie for all ages this Xmas. May the gaming gods bring you glory and don’t feed your damn mogwai after midnight.

Christmas Vacation

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Another classic Christmas movie from my childhood that honestly I would probably never forget honestly. The story of the Griswolds will live on in..well infamy may be the best word. Cousin Eddie draining his RV and yelling “The shitters full” while drinking  beer or oiling the bottom of a sled that would fly down a hill and pretty much catch fire will forever. And lets not forget that classic moment of chopping down a nice big pine tree only to be attacked by a rouge squirrel.

The movie is obviously a comedy and not meant to be taken seriously. But it is great fun, from the starting point of finding out there is no Christmas bonus to the insane scene with Christmas lights. It is a wild and exciting ride of hilarity that should be enjoyed by all. Best wishes, Merry Christmas and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Anthony Jeselnik:Thoughts and Prayers

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The third round of my stand up experiment is a man I had never heard of until recently that a friend mentioned. So I looked him up and gave him a watch. I won’t mention his jokes specifically but I will say this, once again extremely adults only, and if you are easily offended do not bother watching this. He is funny and I enjoyed his stand up, but his jokes range from making fun of children, to a guy getting eaten by a shark to mass shootings and 9/11. Not the victims by the way, but many people still won’t appreciate the jokes all the same. If however you have a twisted sense of humor this man may be for you. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jimmy Carr:Funny Business (2016)

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Day 2 of reviewing some stand up brings up Jimmy Carr, an English comedian. Aside from having a very distinct laugh he also has a rather dark sense of humor. He jokes about plenty of things taking shots at women, men in the audience hell during a segment where people in the audience sent him text he even told a joke about midget porn. However unlike my Leary stand up review this one while also absolutely for adults this one is likely to offend many people. For example he tells one joke about liking old fashioned black and white movies where nobody talks, then says he means interracial porn. That also is not one of the more offensive jokes.  Be warned, its funny but not for everyone, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Denis Leary: No Cure For Cancer (1992)

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Every so often I like to try something new, so I figured I would try to cover a few stand ups and I am starting with an old personal favorite. In No Cure for Cancer Leary covers various topics from drug use, to smoking and even his fathers reaction to his brother and his friends finally playing with Dennis as a kid, then shooting him in the head with an arrow. It is one of the funnier stand ups on Netflix right now and while it is full of drinking, smoking and swearing it is admittedly by the more modern standard of comedy today not all that offensive, the same however can not be said for what I cover tomorrow. This one is a must watch for any stand up fan, tho it is very much for adults. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Merry Friggin’ Christmas (2015)

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This movie holds a special place for me actually, not because its great or horrible or anything like that. It is actually the first new movie of his I saw after he died. But was the movie any good? Well let me answer that.

The movie starts out with a man explaining that he sometimes over does things with his kids, namely Christmas. The reason for that, well his father wasn’t exactly great at that sort of thing. He didn’t like that his son wanted to paint instead of doing more manly things for example.

With this in mind Boyd never goes home for Christmas until his brother asked him to be god father of his child, but decides to hold the baptism on Christmas eve. While this in itself would be enough to ruin a holiday they also forget the Christmas presents at home.

In a last ditch effort to save Christmas Boyd attempts to rush home, grab the gifts and return in 8 hours. A trip that takes pretty much as much time as he has until the kids wake up, the perfect coincidence. Poof, car trouble. Dad (Robin Williams) for the save.

Honestly the movie isn’t that good, it is pretty much the stereotypical father and son don’t get along fight a lot and bind over helping the grand kids story. Williams himself is the best part of the movie tho even there it isn’t his best performance. It is far from the worst Christmas movie I have seen this month, but most people won’t be fond of it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

A Christmas Story

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This movie is such a timeless classic there is a 24 hour marathon of it every year. I don’t even need to review this honestly, I could have posted the picture of the kid and a BB gun and just stopped there and you guys would have gotten it. But hey let us get on with what is basically a formality here.

The movie takes place in the 1940’s and young Ralphie has one dream. He wants a Red Ryder BB gun. He needs to convince his parents, teacher, Santa, anyone that will listen he needs one. The problem is, he will shoot his eye out. Along the way there are bullies, dares to stick a tongue to a light post and even dropping lug nuts down a drain and saying fudge.except he doesn’t say fudge. He says the F— word. By the way he throws his friend under the bus an I know they only had phones with cords back then, you hear mom run over and smack the holy hell out of this poor innocent kid. You know how hard you have to hit someone to hear it across a house over a 1940’s phone that clearly? That poor bastards grand kids had bruises when they were born in the 1980’s.

Anyways back on track, I don’t mind spoiling this movie a little bit. At the end of the movie, in true 1940’s fashion, hell even in 1980’s or the 1990’s fashion dad comes through and buys this kid a Red Ryder BB gun. Because you know, back then it was socially acceptable to buy kids actual weapons. The kid also almost immediately manages to shoot himself in the face when it bounces of some metal and his glasses prevent him from shooting his own eye out. Let this be a lesson kids, when shooting a BB gun you actually can shoot your eye out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Destroy all humans

destroy all humans

I love old time sci fi movies so being able to play in one was kinda great, the raunchy humor and cool weapons and powers just so happened to be icing on the cake. The game is simple really. We play as Cypto, an alien from the planet Furon who comes to 1950s America to kill humanity after a botched incident involving Area 51. Armed with a array of alien weapons, a flying saucer, and the power to use telepathy, hologram disguises, and telekinesis we set off against the cops, military, and Majestic Agents that want to take you down.

First I’m going to say this game is fun. There’s a lot of variety in you’re methods of destruction. Disguise yourself and start throwing cars with telekinesis? Sure. Run through the suburbs of brainless men and scandalous housewives guns blazing while shooting people with you handy dandy anal probe- yes you actually get a anal probe and it is amazing. Guns and powers work really good and fluid for there time. A favorite pastime I have is simply reading the minds of the people around me and hearing the crazy or just plain hilarious and often politically incorrect they are thinking. The spoof of 50’s culture is perhaps my favorite aspect of the game. Realistically though I do have problems. I feel you die awfully easy in either on foot or in your ship; actually weirdly enough I feel you can take more damage on foot than you can in your ship. The saucer I feel could have have used a bit more agility to help avoid damage; the controls for it do feel a bit clunky. It aged decently well from its PS2 era release and it’s definitely a good pick up on the current generation. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Ted 2

ted 2

I will never think of Trix cereal or John William’s iconic Jurassic Park theme the same ever again. And because of this movie, Savior and I will get kicked out of a Improv house someday.

So we begin on Ted’s wedding day to Tammi Lyn as we see John saddened by his divorce from now ex wife Lori. Ted urges him to get back in the dating game while soon Ted’s marriage is in jeopardy. But they find a solution: just have a baby. This however isn’t a easy task since Ted is a toy and not capable of reproducing, leading to adoption and the core dilemma of the film: the government cracks down on Ted for being essentially a stuffed animal, not alive, and soon his rights are being systematically taken away. So it’s up to John and Ted to team up with a fresh young, cute lawyer named Sam L. Jackson and prove to the world Ted is alive. Oh and that creepy ass weirdo from the first movie is back too.

I’m going to call this movie subjective: you’ll either love it or hate it. In fact I think it’s funnier than the first. There’s a lot more outrageous humor and crazier cameos in this movie. The performances are great  all around and the story is actually pretty deep. I know comedy sequels especially have a reputation for sucking but I recommend checking it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.