So because the Savior reviewed the iconic movie adaptation of Clive Barker’s disturbing romance novella, I figured I’d cover the lesser known novella, The Hellbound Heart. In a rare instance, Barker did the novella as well as direct the film adaptation which definitely shows. Both are very similar. Frank Cotton, a discouraged sexual deviant, sits in a candle lite room and toys with the ominous Lemanchard’s Configuration (or Lament Configuration), a beautiful, ornate puzzle box that once opened will call forth the seraphic Cenobites to bring him absolution and pleasure. Little does he know how subjective pleasure can be. Frank disappears and his house back in the states goes to his brother Rory, his beautiful but cold wife Julia, and his daughter (in the book their relationship is less specific and she never really refers to him as Daddy or father but rather implied) Kirsty. Rory is a kind, boring man. Julia is a prude who fantasizes about banging Frank, and the brief affair she had right before marrying Rory, and Kirsty is a normal teen girl who loves her dad and tolerates Julia. When moving, Rory scratches himself on a nail and that little bit of blood summons the horrible remains of Frank to find Julia and our plot begins. Julia needs to bring horny men to Frank so he can slaughter them and take there flesh to recover his flesh before the Cenobites find him. Desperate for zesty love Julia obliges. Kirsty, suspecting Julia of having an affair, follows her only to find the horrible truth and comes face to face with her skinned perverted uncle Frank. She manages to escape with her life, waking in a hospital with the box. She opens its and out emerge the Cenobites, not the angels we were lead to believe but gruesome, deformed creatures lead but a tall, colorless figure with a grid craved into his face and nails dug in that would be called Pinhead by fans for decades after. The Cenobites tell Kirsty they want to show her pleasure; she barters her life if she produce Frank. They agree, only sparing her if they can punish the bastard who fled them.
Hellbound Heart is my favorite love story; and it is a love story as well as a soap opera. The Cenobites are written to make you picture them as angels and are masterfully revealed not to be both in the opening and the third act. Clive Barker write Pinhead to have a fearsome, quiet presence reminding me a lot of classic Darth Vader, which is the best compliment I can give. Even in his later works, anytime Pinhead is involved, he gives the story a sense of dread and despair that only the best characters in horror can. It’s a short read, maybe 130-140 pages if that, so definitely pick it up for a good scare and stay away from old music boxes!



A lesson from Torsten V and the makers of this movie: breaking and entering is a very bad idea. Also the general point of Don’t Breathe in general. I don’t have much to say about the movie’s plot except that besides the trailers giving you everything you need to know about the plot. Three petty thieves plan one seemingly easy last score by breaking into the home of a old, blind army vet who’s holding onto a fat settlement from the people who killed his daughter in a drunk driving accident. What was supposed to be a easy task turns into a live or die game of cat and mouse when they quickly discover this old man is extremely dangerous. He’s attuned to his other senses quite well, being a formidable shot with a 9MM and a brutal hand to hand combatant, along with one mean ass seeing-eye rottweiler. Besides a very disturbing revenge plot from the old man against the woman he’s holding captive in his basement, the same woman who killed his daughter, this cat and mouse is the bulk of the movie. It is paced well and the movie is overall good. Stephen Lange is great as the blind old man, a very good villain in his own right and damn right creepy once his true intentions are known. The suspense is good throughout most of the movie but the The ending overstays it welcome by going on an extra 5 minutes longer than it should have. My biggest gripe about it is that theirs alot of fake outs with the other male lead. With most horror movies, it’s acceptable and pretty much expect once, maybe twice. But I swear it happens four or five times with this poor bastard throughout the film, finally killing him with twenty minutes left and feeling kinda lackluster because it got annoying. Lange had his share of fake outs too but he’s the villain so I can cut the man some slack. Overall I liked it and loved the concept but I can’t say I’d own it but worth some netflix watchings in a dark room with a chickenshit friend
I’m not a huge Shyamalan fan; he reigned supreme at a time when gore, boobs, and bad language made a great movie to me…cut me some slack, I was 10. Like most, I’ve watched his descent into crap with The Happening and his awful adaptation of The Last Airbender and thought his time was over. From youtube, I heard a lot positive feedback on the movie he did prior to Split, The Visit, but still didn’t think much about it. When the trailers for Split started to drop, I became intrigued at the concept alone: three young women being held captive by Kevin, a man suffering from Split-Personality Disorder. Kevin’s mind is split into 23 personalities ranging from Hedwig- a playful 9 year old boy, Dennis- the rigid, disciplined captor repressing his sexual urges, Barry- the fashion loving face he shows his Psychiatrist, and Patricia- a stern companion to Dennis and fellow believer in “The Beast” that all 23 parts of Kevin fear, and soon will his captives. First, I command the astounding performance by James Mcavoy who plays Kevin. Each character he plays is unique and realistic; easily he’s a great villain but a sympathetic supporting character all at once. As for his doctor, who treats Kevin with the intent of proving people with his condition can potentially lead to greater abilities, and Casey, the quiet of his captives with her own dark backstory. I didn’t find her friends memorable but not annoying; each tries to break free of Kevin’s grasp, proving Dennis and Patricia’s cunning and devotion to bringing forth the Beast. I don’t want to get deep into spoilers with this, it’s a movie that needs to seen and heard but I will say it has some thrilling moments, a great main character and a pretty epic post credit scene that links it to another Shyamalan classic.
I’m bored to shit with possession films and even more fed up with found footage movies. What the hell is it with this decade and found footage ghost stories? BUT, though Sinister has the seeds of both of these genres, it fuses both of them into one creepy ass final product. From the opening credits were introduced to the messed up imagery of a family being hung from a tree, kicking away there last breaths while we hear the old Super 8 projector rolling. I immediately dropped the F bomb. And oh this is just he beginning. Some of these later Super 8 reels are alarming as hell, but refreshingly not too gory. I ODed on pointless gore somewhere between Saw 5 an 6.
It’s summer in Scranton so what better to keep me cool than to bundle up with my trusty box fan, pour myself a cold drink, and thank the gaming gods I’m not being attacked by pissed off vampires of the non-sparkly persuasion with a great graphic novel. By the title and pics you can tell I mean 30 Days of Night.