Movie Review – Page 127

The Children

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The children is about 2 families going on vacation together for Christmas. The visuals and sound are nice and the acting itself is solid. That is about the end of nice things I have to say about this movie.

When the kids contract some sort of virus they start murdering the adults. Not sure why the adults never get sick, or why this movie felt like it took forever to watch but it did. Some times people just have to do their best with the script they are given, and this time it doesn’t matter how good everything else is, the movie simply was not good and you should avoid it. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Other Side of The Door

The Other Side of the Door is a typical horror movie in pretty much every way imaginable. That’s not to say its bad because it most certainly is not. The main plot is the mother and her son and daughter get into a car accident and go off a bridge. The son is trapped and can’t escape and the mother must make the horrific choice to leave her son to save her daughter as the car fills with water. After which the mother attempts to join her son by taking way to many pills, but her husband saves her. A nurse tells her of an old temple that will allow her to speak to her son one last time but there is one catch. No matter what she can’t open the door.

Well of course this wench opens the damn door and releases her now evil sons spirit into the world where it proceeds to kill people and terrorise his still living sister. The plot is pretty standard but the visuals are nice and so is the creepy sound. Strong acting also helped quite a bit. While not some amazing movie, its worth a watch. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Last Exorcism

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I don’t want to be that guy, I really don’t but doesn’t the fact there is a Last Exorcism 2 kind of negate the title altogether? I know, I know, but what we needed that out of our system before we proceed. So I’ve heard many a mixed reviews for this particular found footage film and I went in to this without much expectations of it being good but it was expiring on Hulu so why the hell not.

So this is the account of the Rev. Cotton Marcus who is a Louisianan preacher who doesn’t believe in god, but is damn good at preaching anyway. He believes posessions are a mental thing and the devil doesn’t exist so he provides “exorcisms” in exchange for money in return for the victim and there loved ones safe peace of mind; he finds the accidental deaths that have come of them in the past vile and unnecessary. So him a couple others go out to a small farm in the rural outskirts of the state to visit a 16 year old girl named Nell, who is believed to be possessed after a string of grisly animal mutilations. Her brother Caleb throws rocks at Marcus after warning him to turn around. The Father, Louis is deeply religious and strict, especially with sweet hearted Nell. Marcus performs a bogus Exorcism after believing it would put an end to all the commotion. Suddenly Nell appears in his motel bedroom, miles and miles away from her home. Nell becomes increasingly more malevolent and violent as we begin to see the madness lurking within the family…

Overall it’s a fair horror film. I’ve heard complaints the acting ain’t great but I have to say where I’m from and what I do for a living, the people in this movie seem like people I would meet in my day to day life. There is a good plot that does keep you guessing if the possession is legit or not and there are pretty creepy moments and some good imagery. A big fault I have is that while I understand why this movie is made to be found footage, I believe in the end it would have been better as a regular movie.It begins to lose it’s potency when a piece of footage we are supposed to believe is real has a faint score and jump scare noises in it…sure, which leads me to the biggest downfall. The ending sucks. The last ten minutes of if say screw this and become Paranormal Activity 3 and 4, which hey, least we know where they got there inspiration from.

In the end, see it if found footage or possession stories are your thing. It’s worth a good once over. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

( second opinion) Suicide Squad

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So here we go friends, a second opinion on the follow up to Batman vs Superman- Suicide Squad. So if one didn’t piss you off, the other probably did. After a epic ass-load of negative criticism for the previous installments overly dark tone, we get Suicide Squad trying to do Hot Topic Guardians of the Galaxy ( they played Spirit in the Sky for damn sake). So I do find it more enjoyable and entertaining than BvS, but I agree with Savior, don’t think about the plot of this movie too hard or your nose might bleed. Waller bases this whole idea of putting our villains and anti-heroes together for the sole purpose of defending us against a Meta-human or someone of Superman level threat, well truth be told Batman kicked the asses of 80% of your crew, a rich dude without powers. The Captain Boomerang scene with the Flash scene illustrates most of there chances against a Meta-human; what chances do a sniper, a chick with a bat and gun, a guy with boomerangs, a crocodile man, and a army dude do against someone like Superman? If they were going to grind in that point so hard they should have considered rogues like Captain Cold, Deathstroke, Poison Ivy, Bane, Cheetah, Black Manta, or Killer Frost just to name a few- characters that have caused more devastation to the Heroes that would form the JLA. As a positive, I think the movie’s biggest strength was that all the main villains of the Squad were played terrifically- especially Will Smith as Deadshot, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, and Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang. What killed the Film was a wooden Rick Flag, ridiculous hula magical hula girl (I mean Enchantress), and Jared Leto’s obnoxious and annoying Joker. In the Extended cut Joker has some better scenes and I do enjoy the scene where he convinces Harley to jump but that’s where it ends for me. The Batman cameos were welcome and Flash’s made me grin. My biggest problem besides those three characters was that I felt a huge GOTG vibe from it as I stated above, which works for the film but came off as trying too hard to be cool a couple times; the tone is jarring if you watch all the DCEU films in secession. But, at the end of the day, it’s a fun, dark action comedy with good music and some cool characters. I do recommend the extended version much more than the theatrical because it flushes our main characters out more and we get more interactions between them, and a lot more, alot better Joker material- not great but better. Thank you for checking out our split opinion reviews for this and BVS, and may the gaming gods bring you glory

Suicide Squad

First let me preface this guy saying the movie was better than I thought it would be, tho thinking about the movie or analysing it in any capacity is a bad idea. But this, for me, was easily the most over rated and over hyped movie of 2016. Also the best part of this movie that didn’t include Margot Robbies shorts being so small they were basically a thong was Will Smith playing Deadshot. The soundtrack was also amazing from beginning to end so much so that i’m pretty sure it cost half their budget. Also if one more person tells me they want a relationship like Harley and Joker may get smacked. The story itself is rather mundane and has a plenty of issues. Like I said, don’t think about this movie. It also happens to be pretty fun with a body count that kept me, a guy that loves horror and 80’s action flicks, very happy. As always thanks for coming, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

(2nd opinion) Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

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When we think of how bad ass it would be to see our favorite superheroes clash, what’s usually the first pair we come to think of? What two are so conflicting both in ideology but to an extent we can can sense the turbulence between man and god, night and day, a cold scowl against a kind smile? None other than Batman and Superman come to most minds: The Dark Knight and The Man Of Steel. In several comics they’ve clashed verbally over several issues, come to blows most famously in Frank Millar’s legendary graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns (for which must of this movie either references or tries to loosely replicate) as well as several others. And for better or worse, we got our silver screen version last year. So my good friend, partner, and brother from another mother Savior covered his thoughts on this and the follow up in the DCEU Suicide Squad, so I’m just gonna talk about some nerd shit with it and give my final thoughts on it.

So first thing I’d like to say is structurally this movie is a grade A clusterfuck. It is a sequel to Man of Steel, a solo Batman flick, a Justice League prequel, an adaptation of Dark Knight Returns and Death of Superman, with 20 minutes of Wonder Woman, Easter Eggs relating to Steppenwulf, Darkseid, some random Batman villains and Red Hood (we can only dream). This movie is stuffed like a turkey’s ass on Thanksgiving. If you are a hardcore DC fan you may enjoy some of this but it does come out bloated. On a positive, the movie is visually sweet, using a lot of dark imagery from the comics to paint one hell of a dark picture. Ben Affleck thrives as both a weathered but composed Bruce Wayne and a cruel, angry Batman. As Batman he has a truly threatening presence that would make me think twice before jaywalking in Gotham City. Gal Gadot is also great as Diana Prince and Wonder Woman; she plays Diana as very poised and ladylike while infusing a raw rage into her fighting as Wonder Woman, either way her segment was much welcomed and loved. Henry Cavill was fine as Superman but he was too brooding for my taste, losing a bit of the relatability I had gotten from his previous go in the iconic role. Though how they are presented was kind of lame, I enjoyed the files debuting Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg. Jeremy Irons was a interesting Alfred while Amy Adams felt mostly tacked on as Lois Lane. Jessie Eisenburg played a good character in this movie but hot damn was that character not Lex Luthor; I feel Eisenburg would have been a great Riddler or Mad Hatter or, dare I say, a fair Joker, but not Lex Luthor. Finally, what kills the movie for me as well as I’m sure many others, was Doomsday. Dammit All, what the hell did they do to him? He looks like a Putty from Power Rangers on steroids. I understand Doomsday is a fan favorite but so poorly done it defeated the purpose. There is a lot of cool moments, great acting from Affleck and Gadot, and dark imagery but there are flaws. Apart, these characters are great; mashed together, well…clusterf#$k . Overall, it’s fair but you won’t watch it everyday, but hey it ain’t Batman & Robin so that’s a plus.

Batman Vs Superman

I heard a lot of bad things about this movie before I ever saw it. That being said some of it is exaggerated. Most of it was not. Jessie Eisenberg played his part well. The problem is he played a form of Luthor I don’t think ever existed, and if it did most people are unaware of it. Amy Adams had a performance that was uninspired to say the very least.

I do have to own up to the fact that Ben Affleck is probably the best batman/Bruce in decades, may even be the best not named Conroy.

The visuals were nice as was the music, but aside from that the plot was horrible and at times lacked any real sense to it. For example the very idea that anyone even knew to look for kryptonite? That’s not the sort of thing you stumble across. I would suggest watching the movie tho as it is fun and entertaining but don’t think to much about it. If you do you will wonder how batman used machine guns to get the jump on superman but somehow wasn’t smart enough to use kryptonite bullets. As always thanks for your time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Videodrome

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So I go to say from age 18 to 20 I was utterly obsessed with this movie after buying the old VHS at my local horror video store. I actually shouted “DEATH TO VIDEODROME, LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH” not once, but twice during two graduation ceremonies and had a epic freak out when my friends thought it’d funny to hide the tape. It’s my favorite David Cronenburg film and probably in my top 10 favorite horror movies ever.

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It’s the story of a raunchy TV executive named Max Wren played by James Woods who’s looking for the next big thing to push the boundaries of entertainment. His channel plays soft core porn and violent exploitation films from the seventies. One of his contacts tells him about a new thing called Videodrome, which is more than Max can handle. Ratings hike and Max can’t get enough of it, until at the end he becomes it and the battle for Max Wren is being fought by The Videodrome and freedom of the New Flesh…so, as you can see, the imagery sells this movie. I mean when you see cable wires ripping through a man’s flesh and locking his fist around a gun, going to first base with a TV to have it begin to moan and it’s wood panels become flesh, a VCR slot grow in a man’s stomach, or shooting a man and watching the grisly scene of his body get torn apart by cancer tumors from the inside out. There’s tons of unforgettable imagery. The acting is solid and the score compliments the eerie tone of losing your mind by a technological force. The plot feels like a much more grounded precursor to the Matrix with a similar theme of mechanical mind control and freedom from it only it’s a way to talk about our over obsession with TV and stimulation which is all brilliant woven together with blood and some disturbing bodily scenes. Pick this up if you are looking for a smart horror film that has some weird, over the top crazy shit in it as well. So may the gaming gods bring you glory and

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DEATH TO VIDEODROME, LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH!

The Conjuring 2

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The Conjuring 2 is another movie based off the allegedly true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren whom leave their chosen sabbatical to travel to Enfield, a place in North London to help Peggy Hodgson. One day a little girl is caught smoking at school, but during this her friend gives her a spirit board. Now kids being kids of course her and her sister play with it and now their family home is haunted. Now the movie isn’t bad really. In fact any horror fan should watch it. But visually this time around its not as good neither is the sound or acting. Many parts of the movie come across as trying to hard to be scary, for example the over use of things going thud or the chair sliding across the floor and into the kitchen in front of the police that immediately leave and tell the woman to contact a priest. There is also now a random nun floating around the Warren family home that Ed dreamed up then painted which seems like it was added not because it made sense or was needed but simply to help push the struggling story a bit. For all its faults however I would still absolutely suggest seeing the movie. Once again thanks for reading and may the gaming god bring you glory.

Terminator

Our best ideas come from the strangest places and sometimes are fears are the things right in front of our face the entire time. James Cameron’s Terminator is a prime example. Cameron had once had a fever dream about a metal skeleton crawling out of a hellish fire almost like a phoenix and the rest became history brought to horrific life by legendary special fx master the late and great Stan Winston. Terminator is the story of a war in the future where Skynet has brought man to the brink of extinction with their horde of advanced machines, the worst of which are the T-800 Terminators, flesh covered androids made for inflitration and damn near unstoppable. The resistance against Skynet is lead by John Conner. To stop John Conner, Skynet sends a Terminator back through time to 1984 to assassinate Conner’s mother before he is even conceived. So in response, Conner manages to send back his soldier Kyle Reese to protect Sarah Conner from the machine that doesn’t feel pain or remorse or fear and will not stop until Sarah is dead. Schwarzenegger is suburb as the Terminator, cold and emotionless as he hunts down Sarah Conner by killing his way through to find her. He tracked her to a tech club where Reese intervenes by blasting him down with a shotgun, only for him to get back up again. They loose the machine in a car chase, causing him to crash in a accident that would have certainly killed a normal man. Reese and Sarah are taken by the police who realistic start explaining away the events of the night, convincing her it was a normal man on drugs in a Kevlar vest and Reese is crazy. We cut away to the Terminator alone in his shitty apartment, face mutilated by a ruptured eyeball he cuts out of his own head, revealing part of a steel skeleton and a cold red camera. He arms himself and goes to slaughter the whole police station to get his target. While on the run, Sarah and Reese get intimate and begin falling in love. The movie pushes to a thrilling climax where we see the Cameron’s nightmare realized in the form of the red eyed robot skeleton revealing itself, and at the end it’s up to only Sarah to defeat it and protect the future.

So I won’t lie, I consider Terminator 1 and 2 almost perfect, timeless classics without a doubt. The plot is still solid full of great performances by our main cast and effects that hold up fairly strong today with downright bleak glimpses of the future that I feel are especially relevant today in our technology obsessed society. Pick it up and I will be back

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