Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

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Here we come to the film that made me cover the series, and damn did I have hope for the series…well, apparently we’re getting Jurassic 6 in 2020 so Yay?

So Isla Nublar, home to the ruins of the original Jurassic Park and Jurassic World, is pretty much a unstable volcano that’s going to erupt and extinct the dinosaurs again. It’s a hot topic, should we let all the dinosaurs again or try to keep them alive. Claire is adamant about keeping alive, so much so she blindly signs up for a expedition to try saving them Noah style but she needs Owen’s help with the raptors. He’s reluctant but he goes. A guy named Lockwood is sending them, a partner of Hammond from the old days ( who we’re just now hearing about 5 movies in) who is dying. A company asshole has other plans however. Instead of freeing the dinosaurs, he wants to sell them Black Market under Lockwood’s manor, while also creating a whole new super dinosaur from the tooth of the Indominous Rex- the Endo Raptor. Can Owen and Claire put a stop to them and save the dinosaurs?

Watching this started to piss me off. The movie is still meh at best, I can’t say I hated it but this is without a doubt the weakest movie in the series. First, I’m going to spoil something just because I know many went to see this because Malcolm returns…he’s in the movie for what you see in the trailers. That’s it. Roughly 5 minutes in total. Claire and Owen’s motivations this time are strange; I don’t get how Claire went from being a tight ass workaholic girly girl into a chill pro-dinosaur activist or how Owen just gave up on dinosaurs and seems kind of mopey. For the first time, the effects got me and I knew it was CGI. During the volcano scenes, I couldn’t feel much real excitement but I was sad to watch so many dinosaurs get burned to death- the Bronnchisaurus scene made me tear a bit. The second half of the movie seriously feels like something I’d see in the Resident Evil (remake) You got a freak experiment chasing people around a mansion that seriously does look like the Spencer Mansion. The subplot of Lockwood’s granddaughter and the reason why him and Hammond cut ties- I yelled bullshit at my TV. I want to spoil it but I can’t. There are some suspenseful scenes with the E Raptor but nothing astounding. The acting isn’t wonderful but not terrible. Score is meh, you don’t get the iconic stuff til the end credits. In the end, I can’t recommend this movie because most of what you probably loved about the series isn’t here or died in a fiery inferno and while the very end has interesting implications, I’m predicting we saw the death of Jurassic Park. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Jurassic World

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There was a huge gap in the Jurassic saga after Jurassic Park 3 , almost 14 years between if I’m not mistaken. I can’t really say I was thrilled when I heard we were getting a fourth movie, by then I lost much of my appeal to the series, but I went and embarked on the journey to Jurassic World…

Over two decades after John Hammond’s first attempt at  bringing dinosaurs to our world, his dream is realized at long last with Jurassic World- think Disneyland with prehistoric monsters, only the clientele are getting bored with the same old dinosaurs. So what do you do when you get bored of the same old dinosaurs? Genetically create a new one, enter the Indominus Rex. Smarter, faster, and meaner, it’s meant to be the perfect predator and that means things go to shit for a raptor trainer named Owen and a big wig at the park named Claire that’s babysitting her nephews. Welcome to Jurassic World folks…

From the synopsis you may think I’m not a fan of this movie but truth be told, this is my second favorite of the series. The premise is wacky and convoluted but it’s mostly done pretty well. Strangely, much of the story feels natural and there is a LOT of nostalgia fun for the kids who grew up with the classic Jurassic Park . Chris Pratt brings his charm to the role of Owen and is a welcome leading man; Bryce Dallas Howard isn’t bad as Claire but I will say I laughed my ass off at the scene where she runs away from a T Rex in high heels. The effects are pretty great and you got a lot of the classic score, as well as some badass fan service. The Indominous Rex is cool  but watching it fight THE T Rex from the original made my inner child jump for joy. The bad guy is flat which sucks but doesn’t hurt the movie too much. In the end, it’s a really fun movie but kind of corny at the same time but definitely worth watching. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Jurassic Park 3

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Ok, here we come to what many consider the low point of the series but I’m going to do as I have quite a few times, and take the high ground. I argue this isn’t the worst of the series, but let’s get into why…

Several years have passed since the events of Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park: The Lost World and we follow up with Dr Alan Grant, ever hounded by the fame he gained from being at the notorious park. He and Ellie have remained close friends, never getting together as the first movie made it seem would happen, and of course he’s broke. Enter the Kirbys, Paul and Amanda, who proposition Grant with a lot of money if he accompanies them on a trip to a place Grant has experience with. He gives in, accompanied by his assistant Billy venture off but the Kirbys true intentions reveal themselves when there plane crashes on Isla Sorna, the island from Lost World. The truth is the Kirby’s aren’t rich and there son got lost there after a parasailing accident and they though Grant could help him. Grant is pissed as you’d imagine, trapped on a island full of flesh eating raptors that keep on there asses- they find the boy, but can they make it out with there lives?

Again as with the previous installment, this is a mixed bag. Again the effects and score are great. I was glad to have Sam Neil return as Grant and the story I though was better, but the movie at some point drops and becomes really forgettable. This is primarily a raptor movie which is cool because we learn more about them. Other than Grant and the kid, Eric, the other characters are either annoying as hell or just fodder. The pacing is better and doesn’t feel as long and there are more action scenes so it’s more entertaining but less thought provoking.  In the end, it’s a solid movie. Not great but bad. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Man Up (2015)

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Man Up is the story of a blind date that went wrong mostly because it involved the wrong people. More specifically the wrong woman. See when Jack (Simon Pegg) meets up with his blind date it turns out due to a weird coincidence he meets up with Nancy (Lake Bell) thinking she is his date, Jessica. Nancy is happy to let him think this however since she is surprised by how mice he is. The date is going great actually, that is until she is caught in the bathroom with a guy threatening to blackmail her by telling Jack the truth.

The story itself is pretty nice and is quite original, the problem is much of it is quite cliché. The ending, the date itself, the dance scene. It’s all quite been there done that in romantic comedies which is disappointing. Not that it was done badly, quite the opposite. Simon Pegg and Lake Bell play their roles well and worked well together. The script was also well written, my issue is simply that an original idea falling back on so many old tropes saddened me.

All that being said, I still suggest a fan of romantic comedies check the movie out. It’s still pretty above average and worth checking out at least once. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jurassic Park: The Lost World

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Jurassic Park , originally a novel by Michael Crichton, became a massive success after Spielberg directed the film adaptation. Actually, massive would be a massive understatement. So of course, a high grossing film needs a sequel, and Crichton had another book in him and Spielberg was up to another dinosaur adventure, so did lightning strike twice?

Years have passed since the epic events of Jurassic Park and Ian Malcolm is just trying to get on with his life. A dying Hammond urges to talk to him, revealing Isla Nublar wasn’t the only site they were breeding dinosaurs. A family vacationing on the island discovered them and Hammond dispatched a team of scientists and mercenaries to investigate- the scientists led by Malcolm’s fiance. Reluctantly Malcolm goes to get her back, unintentionally followed by his teenage daughter and of course things go bad, but it gets worse when he discovers the mercs were there to capture dinosaurs , including baby T Rexes, feeling the wrath of it’s mother on US soil…

Lost World is a mixed bag for me, but overall I don’t like it that much. First, it is a damn nice looking movie with really good effects, score, and even acting. I like the story for the most problem but a big problem I have is the pacing- you feel how long this movie is and until part way into the second act, I was bored. Another problem I had was the idea of Malcolm being the main character this time around. Malcolm was a great supporting character in the first because he raised a lot of the fundamental questions to be asked and he had a cynical kind of humor. In Lost World we go deeper into his relationships with his girlfriend and daughter, which nether really hooked me. there are some coo moments and it was badass to see a T Rex stomping around  California but in the end, I found the movie to just be flat, not to say it ain’t worth a watch if you loved the first. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jurassic Park

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Spielberg gave us some of the most epic, memorable movies of all time- that’s a fact. How many times do you smile hearing John William’s classic score; how many times did your heart sink when you saw the might of the T-Rex ripple through the water and feel your eyes widen when you see the vast splendor of Stan Winston’s dinosaurs? Welcome to Jurassic Park.

Jurassic Park, a massive open world theme park located on Isla Nublar where John Hammond commissioned a group of scientists to return dinosaurs from extinction. through the miracle of genetics, they have played god, restoring living, breathing dinosaurs to the planet. The park is nearly opened, but Hammond requests a small group to preview the park before opening including Dr Alan Grant and his colleague/ love Ellie Slater, chaos theorist Ian Malcolm, Hammond’s preteen grandchildren, and a lawyer. At first, the group is in awe once they see the dinosaurs but fear sets in once its revealed not all the revived species are of the friendly kind and once a storm hits, sabotage from inside goes down, the dinosaurs are unleashed into the Park and a pleasure getaway becomes an adventure for survival…

Honestly, there is nothing about Jurassic Park I can say that hasn’t been said. It’s a fantastic movie of great, well developed characters full of memorable quotes and a plot that is smart, heart felt, and suspenseful. Almost 2 decades later, the effects hold up phenomenally and the score is unforgettable as one of the best in film. Jurassic Park is a must see, pure and simple, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Joaquin Phoenix Joker screen test

A few days ago we finally got the first real look of Joaquin Phoenix as Joker via screen test from directer Todd Phillips of the Hangover trilogy. I personally really like the look, going for more of the Heath Ledger vibe- simple but realistic and unnerving. It’s definitely a step up from Jared Leto’s look in Suicide Squad and I’d say it’s a good step in the right direction. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Witch 2015

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The Witch (2015) is an odd film for me. It involves a family on a farm who have lost a son and is being tormented by a witch. As the movie goes on this family in the 1600’s becomes more and more paranoid.

I won’t get into to many specifics on the movie or its story because honestly the fun of this movie is deeply dependent on not knowing much about the story itself, and I worry by telling you too much I will spoil the experience. The acting is well done and as a period piece it is actually one of the best I have ever seen. As far as I can tell most of not all of ti was filmed using natural lighting or at lighting for that time such as candles. The clothing choices also seem to do a very good job of matching that as well.

The sound of it all is also rather nice, with the actors doing a fair job at talking in an older dialect of English. I do however have a few issues with the movie. First off the movie can only sort of be called a horror or thriller movie since it rarely attempts to do either of those things. There also wasn’t too much excitement to be had. The story was interesting, and the last 20 minutes or so was great but I would have liked a little more.

The movie itself however is only worth watching for certain people. I don’t mind a slow-paced period piece so for me it was a pretty good movie. The story was interesting and the religious zealousness was pretty well done. However, for those looking for a fast paced and exciting horror movie, this is not what you are seeking. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.