Category: Opinion

Hulk

hulk 2003

So what happens if you a visionary director, a all star cast, a huge budget and hell, even a legendary composer for the score come together to make a superhero film? Surely this was a sure thing, right? I’m sure we all heard the story of Hulk before but here it is as Lee told it. Bruce Banner was a scientist with some personnel issues that crapped on his relationship with Betty Ross; he did some experiments with gamma radiation that went great or belly up, however you want to look at it. His repressed rage manifested itself with the energy, turning him into a savage beast when he gets angry.

Ang Lee, if you ever read this, you tried. I respect that. This movie tries to be a deep, dramatic character piece full of symbolism and depth. It comes off as a bored, pretentious mess. None of the actors really seem to give much of a shit and with the exception of rumble crack-head bursts of energy from Nick Nolte as the villain (please don’t ask me to tell you what villain he was supposed to be, 15  years later I still don’t have a fucking clue who or what he was supposed to be.) Hulk himself is cartoon-ish, depicted as like 10 feet tall and bright lime green. For a movie about a pissed off green dude on a rampage, there’s very little action. There’s comic panel transitions between scenes which become annoying quick and random trippy scenes added through to be artistic but just crap on the mess. I won’t call this movie a shitpile because I can tell you effort was put into this but it isn’t good. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Celebrity Deathmatch

celebrity deathmatch

If this were the magical phenomenon known as Celebrity Deathmatch, Savior would be Johnny Gomez and I’d be Nick Diamond. Another awesome piece of the 90’s many have shamefully forgotten and to those that knew of it and have I proclaim SHAME! In Deathmatch we got to see the bloody and brutal clay animated fights between celebs we wished would thrown down in real life. Famous Fights have included Beavis Vs Butthead, Jimi Hendrix vs Lenny Kravitz, Nsync vs the Backstreet Boys, and about a million others. Johnny and Nick had there own wacky skits in between fights and every fight began with Mills Lane famously echoing “Let’s get it on”. Sadly the show faded into damn near total total memory though pieces and even a few episodes are up on YouTube. I recommend checking it out if you can and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Beavis and Butthead

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Before the dawn of South Park and Family Guy, this was the cartoon that pissed off parents and scared PTAs because no one wanted to say they spawned idiots like Beavis and Butthead. These two dimwit teenage headbangers were the nightmare of there school, neighborhood, and all of Highland with there raw stupidity as they persevered in the name of scoring chicks and getting beer and nachos. And god love you if they get there hands on power tools. One of my favorite shorts was them stealing poor Mr. Anderson’s (prototype Hank Hill from King of the Hill) riding mower to destroy peoples flowers, get drive through, and ditch it in a four way intersection. May favorite times were when Beavis got jacked up on sugar or caffeine and became the Great Cornholio- which on a personal note, I went trick or treating as when I was 18. Don’t judge. Indeed the show is dumb but some of the satire and parodies are pretty clever and if anything, it’s very much a time capsule of the 90’s for all it’s worth. In the end, I recommend the classic 90’s seasons, not the newer ones they tried in this generation. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Lucifer 1-3 Impressions

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As some of my early readers know, or friends even know I enjoy the Television show Lucifer. It happens to be based off a DC comic book character and I decided to check it out. Lucifer is 75 comics long as far as I can tell and I am about 3 in, so It is safe to say I really can’t give it a proper review so this is just my first impressions so far.

First the Lucifer character himself is very different than the one presented in the show. He really isn’t as whimsical or easy going, he is actually kind of a dick. Funny, but still a dick. He also seems to have some sort of a weird plan going on, he isn’t simply solving crimes because he is bored. There is actually something going on in the background that is building towards something.

Mazikeen is also vastly different. She wears a mask and so far speaks a strange language that at times almost seems English, but isn’t. She is still a demon from hell. The comic is very adult, there is nudity and violence and doesn’t shy away from things such as Neo Nazi youths beating up a gay man and shoving a bottle in a certain lower orifice.

So far I am enjoying the series even tho I am by no means a comic guy. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pokemon Pinball

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If you had a GameBoy Color in the early 2000’s, this game was a necessity. As the title suggests, it’s Pokemon themed Pinball in the palm of your hand. You had a red stage and blue stage with all 150 original Pokemon to capture and evolve. After every three Pokemon captured or one capture and a evolution, you got to play a fun mini game whether it was battling MewTwo or bashing Meowth for coins. Though simple, it was easy to get lost and addicted trying to beat that ludicrously high score your friend set as the rumble numbed your hands after hours. There isn’t much to say, the game was simple and fun as games should be and deserves a go. May the gaming gods bring you glory as you go catch them all.

Tragedy Girls

tragedy girls

If you caught Savior’s review of Night of the Living Dead Resurrection (2012) than you may come to see how sometimes we see some undesirable films for the sake of entertaining you fine folks. That was his turn and well, sad to say Emoji Movie (2017) wasn’t the raging dumpster fire I’d been hoping for, I spun the wheel and this came up. For the record, I usually enjoy smaller, low budget horror-comedy projects. Hell, I saw a bit of potential in this flick.

We join two high school BFFs, Sadie and Mckayla, who are millennial cheerleaders, vloggers, and aspiring serial killers. They have dreams of raising hell and leaving a legacy of infamy in there wake. So they kidnap the town psychopath after he fails to kill Sadie one night because they need a mentor after all. He politely tells them to fuck off so they hold him hostage. Since they can’t learn from him, they decide to go wild in his name, getting famous on the internet in the meantime as gossip vloggers during the fear and panic. But life seems to be dividing the young murderers as Sadie falls for the sheriff’s son who happens to be the girl’s editor and Mckayla doesn’t take this well and suddenly she finds a new friend…

In no way is this the worst movie I’ve seen but damn is it disappointing. Though there are a couple of decently funny moments and a couple alright kills, the amount of stupidity made me groan more than laugh. These girls are no Michael or Jason. Sadie’s boy toy hilariously sticks out like a sore thumb because he’s supposed to be 17 or 18 but instead looks to be pushing his mid thirties. This movie is very millennial which annoyed the shit out of me- phones, twitter, people saying things like “hashtag”, “why so jelly”, and talking in text speak and crappy auto-tuned music horribly dates this movie and reminds me I’m old. Besides that, my biggest issue was I couldn’t get behind any of the characters because they were such cardboard stereotypes or were just stupid. I didn’t like this movie myself but I see points where some may like it. May the gaming gods bring you glory because this is for you all that stuck around and best wishes to you all.

Rick and Morty, season 2

rick and morty 2

Picking up where season 1 left off, with planet earth frozen in time except for Rick, Morty, and Summer who have to clean there house after a crazy ass alien party got out of hand and discover there uncertainty can shatter the fabric of reality. Yep, this series not only continues to be funny, heart felt, gross, and cleverly thought provoking but finds a way to up the anti. Some of the adventures we get in season 2 are an encounter with Rick’s all encompassing ex alien girlfriend, Beth and Gerry getting caught in a struggle for survival at a couple’s therapy session of genetic monsters created from there angry spiteful feelings for each other, and Rick and Morty taking part in another world’s Purge…in robot suits! If you enjoyed the first, you’ll love the second; I can’t wait for the third season to hit Hulu. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Rick and Morty, season 1

rick and morty 1

This Adult Swim show has quickly become a pop culture phenomenon and I give it credit, this show is one of those rare times the show deserves a lot of the praise. Rick Sanchez is a crude genius, a mad scientist, and a raging depressed alcoholic living with his estranged daughter, horse vet Beth and her lame ass husband Gerry with there two kids Summer and Morty. Poor whiny, simple Morty keeps getting dragged into these strange adventures involving monsters, aliens, and freaky science. And these are crazy ass adventures whether there’s a love potion that turns people into fleshy abominations, incepting the school principle and encountering a deformed guy in a green Xmas sweater with swords for fingers and a affinity for the word “bitch”, and a monotone bird person (literally that’s the guy’s name, bird person). Besides a crap ton of crass dark humor and cool trippy designs, their are a lot of deep questions to be asked and I have to admit, I found myself really thinking hours after watching the episodes. There is a lot of cleaver messages and surprisingly deep characters. I binged the first season overnight and couldn’t get enough. It’s a quick watch but well worth it and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Black Panther Opening Weekend

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Much to the surprise of literally nobody on Earth Black Panther Spent opening weekend Smashing records. The specific numbers can be found here for those that want the details.  I haven’t been able to see the movie as of yet, sadly the usual tradition me and @torstenvblog have of hitting the movies opening night has been complicated by our local theater suddenly closing last month on us at the worst possible time for comic book fans.

That being said the reviews for this movie have been superb, and my social media has been exploding with excitement. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag

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Assassin’s Creed has always had a issue with replay value and annoying moments. It also a complex spanning through time and plays with a web of historical myths and conspiracy. Well, what happens when you say screw all of this and make a fun game?We play as Edward Kenway, Conner’s grandfather from Assassin’s Creed 3 , a poor ex soldier turned pirate with dreams of fortune. One day he chases a kills a hooded figure with a arm blade and well, he falls into a this Assassin’s world, thinking he’ll get an assload of money out of the deal.

As bland as I’m sure I’m making this sound, the story is alright but as connection to the series, there is shit to nil. This a pirate game through and through with some Assassin’s Creed tropes thrown in like the wrist blade, leaps of faith, and Eagle Vision. So if you were really invested in the previous stories, you may find yourself disappointed here. I will say though I found this to be the most fun I’ve had with the series. The combat is perfected and the response time is great, leading to some epic combat and even the inventory setup is simplified for weapon use during. Naval combat and pirating is amazingly addictive. I drooled the first time I ever swung and did a aerial assassination with my hidden blade boarding another ship. Also we get four legendary ships to hunt, whaling expeditions,  new Far Cry style crafting options, freeing slaves from plantations and underwater adventures. And visually it is a beautiful game to behold. All this being said, I love this game but I almost can’t say it feels much like an Assassin’s Creed game to me but is that a bad thing? That’s for you to decide but I highly recommend playing it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.