All Cheerleders Die

all cheer. die

Directed by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson All Cheerleaders Die is a movie about, well cheerleaders. Look i won’t lie to you people, basically i hop o Netflix or Hulu, pick a random movie in the horror genre and watch it. Sometimes I sit down with my laptop, get some writing done or work on my game and enjoy a movie. Other times I end up watching shit like All cheerleaders die. I didn’t pay for this but i still want my money back. The first 30 minutes or so is bitchy but hot cheerleaders going about their lives of back stabbing and being a dick to the less popular kids. The only bright sides or the chicks are pretty odd and at least a few of them are lesbians together. There isn’t a lot of nudity but it would be inappropriate for minors. Shortly after the 30 minute mark  a football player has enough of  a cheerleader berating him in front of everyone and punches her which results in a car chase and a car full of cheerleaders seemingly dead. After some accidental witch craft with some magical rocks the girls are back and that is around the time all sorts of weird shit happens. 2 girls switch bodies,people start dieng and i’m not sure if they are zombies or what the hell is going on,they definitely eat a  dude, well steal his life force or maybe both? Movie is weird. Seriously don’t watch it, or at least be drunk. As always thanks for coming and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Are “Classic” Consoles needed?

Nintendo classic

With the success of the Nintendo Classic and the assured success of the soon to be released Super Nintendo Classic I have seen the question a few times, are they really needed? At first it seems a silly question. Its a product people want that is easier and cheaper than hunting down and buying the originals.  Lets not forget there are other options as well with many of the titles included being available on various Nintendo consoles. Most people also own a laptop capable of using emulators to play these games (fill disclosure I do not advocate this and it is completely illegal if you do not own an original copy of the game) which raises the question even more, are these needed? My personal opinion, absolutely. Lets be honest here, while it is fun to hunt down your favorite games from the past, and feeling that nostalgia flow over you, it is very much cheaper and easier to simply buy a classic console. many of the games I grew up loving made it onto the NES classic and the SNES classic is also full of games I loved, from Super Mario World to Mega Man X. And sure i could go buy these system and hunt down these games that could easily take hundreds of dollars and probably even more hours of my time as opposed to one of these systems. My only real issue is how short of supply they are in to the point that many people never got to purchase one. Hopefully this time will be different, but I doubt it, As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Lantern Rainbow

lantern2 So before we bite into the meat of what I’m covering in Green Lantern mythos, I thought it’d be a good idea to cover what the other Corps represent and what light of emotion drives them, as well as talk about the entities a little bit. So Let’s work our way up the rainbow shall we:

  1. Red- the manifestation of the universes rage and anger. Red Lanterns are characterized by the froth of molten blood plasma they projectile fire from their mouths which is there most common weapon besides constructs and brute strength. Red lanterns must always remain at the height of their rage at at all times; many times this impedes upon there ability to think rationally. Atrcitious is the leader of them on the planet Ryut. There entity is the Butcher, the collection of the universe’s rage
  2. Orange- Larfleeze, the one and only. Orange is avarice, greed. It’s all consuming, leaving it’s victims much like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. The Orange Corp mainly stems from Larfleeze’s constructs of all the beings he’s slayed in the name of his greed. Ohphridan is there entity, trapped inside of Larfleeze’s lantern.
  3. Yellow- fear, the greatest weakness of the Green Lantern Corps. The Sinestro Corps was forged from the fallen Green Lantern Sinestro while exiled on the planet Qward. There power stems from there ability to instill fear in others. Deputy bearers of the yellow ring have included Batman, Scarecrow, and Mongul. Parallax is there Entity, one of the most powerful and destructive beings in the galaxy, nearly turning Hal Jordan into a murderous demigod capable of slaughtering whole planets. Fear users are weak against the blue light of hope but can tear through the green light of will with ease.
  4. Green- the original light harnessed by the immortal, emotional Guardians of the Universe on planet Oa. The green light comes from the user’s willpower, creating constructs of their imagination. There greatest weakness is fear, dripping down into the “yellow impurity”, a problem many lanterns had where golden or yellow objects could break their constructs.  Ion is their entity.
  5. Blue- hope. Besides the orange corp, perhaps one of their greatest threats, the blue lanterns are the second fewest in number. Saint Walker is the main blue lantern we get to know, a calm, caring alien who in the groups darkest hours repeats the blue lantern corps mantra of “all will be well”. Acting as their Guardians are ex-guardians Ganrhet and Sayd. A blue lantern can partially subdue a red lantern’s rage and cancel out fear, but as for there powers to be at there greatest they can have have a symbiotic relationship with a green lantern. They live on planet Odym.
  6. Pink- The Star Sapphires, the lanterns of love. Love was harvested by an ancient race called the Zamorans, who act as their Guardians. Though powerful, their power can corrupt their minds, being mind controlled by the Zamorans when needed. Carol Ferris, lifelong friend and love of Hal Jordan. There entity is the Predator…I hope I’m not the only one who can see the irony in this.
  7. indigo- Compassion. An extremely mysterious breed of lantern, speaking a dialect no other lantern can translate, having no identity other than Indigo and a number; Indigo-1 is the lantern we get to known best. She carries a staff instead of wielding a power ring like the others. There numbers are unknown as well as the extent of there powers; Indigo-1 is able to teleport between planets with ease.
  8. Black- death. The end of life. Black lanterns are resurrected corpses that can’t be killed except by fire, blending green light with that of another Corps, or the white. The Black Hand is there devoted champion. Nekron is there entity.

Hellraiser Movie review

hellraiser

Hellrsaiser is a classic Clive Barker movie, filled with gruesome deaths, the obligatory sex scene and of course, pinhead. Released in 1987, back when horror movies were the standard family movies into a house and all hell break loose and this is no exception.  The father is pretty much immune to common sense and the outcasted family member is the one that brings the evil into the house while the assumed virgin daughter is trying to find her way in the world. Once again the evil cheating wife is pretty much just there to push the story along. All that isn’t to say the movie is bad, its Clive barker, however it is very basic and cliche on every level imaginable. The visuals for their time are rather nice and the sound is pretty much on par with everything else in that time frame. Pinhead himself look pretty creepy and to this day isn’t the type you would want to run into even in broad daylight. When all is said and done, it is definitely a worthwhile horror flick if you like the 80’s movie genre or horror movies in general. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Phantasy Star 2 mobile review

phantasy star 2

I have always been a huge fan of the Phantasy Star series ever since my parents randomly bought me a game. See it was that time of year us poor people love, income tax season. Its where we get to pay some bill and buy a few things we otherwise could not afford. I remember being sick and saying i wanted a game, obviously unable to pick a myself my parents offered to do it. Most kids would have been worried, but my dad was an old school gamer. Really old school, i’m talking pinball and asteroids and home consoles didn’t exist yet, and my mom used to watch me play all the time. Now i can’t say how the conversation at the store went but I always assumed it came down to them arguing over 2 games then saying  screw it and buying both. My reward? Shining Force 2 and Phantasy Star 4, two of my all time favorites.

Obviously when I heard Phantasy Star 2 would be free on mobile i was excited and skeptical. The game has an over lay of the Genesis controller that i thought would be annoying and cumbersome which i’m happy to say i was wrong tho admittedly they can be a bit unresponsive at times. The sound and graphics both sound as good or maybe  little better than on the Sega, but not as good as some of the collections that have come out since, but for free i won’t complain especially knowing these are all basically direct copies of the Sega versions. The adds also are not anything major, basically only showing when you start or pause the game and I have not seen one mess with game play at all. as always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Review

tcuker and dale

This movie is directed by Eli Craig and was written by him and Morgan Jurgenson. Now I try not to swear to much because I have no idea who reads this, but what the fuck were these two smoking when they wrote this? And I don’t mean that in a good way or bad way. it was a fun movie. The story goes like this, a group of college kids goes camping and happens to run into Tucker and Dale whom they find a bit creepy seeing as how they are pretty much hillbillys  and these are rich college kids. This is where a series of misunderstandings will result in a group of college kids attempting to rescue their friend that doesn’t need to be rescued resulting in even more coincidental and misunderstood deaths. Without giving to much away at one point a guy running from bees after accidentally hitting their nest with a chain saw will result in another guy running away and killing himself on a tree branch because he thinks he i being chased by a guy with a chainsaw. Now i know all of this sounds weird and convoluted, because it is. It somehow manages to come  are together as a pretty solid movie. I probably would be upset if i paid real money for this movie, but if you have Netflix i would check it out. Thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Power Rangers

power rangers So I have to say as a 90’s kid, I was really skeptical about this particular reboot of one of my favorite shows from back then. I love the original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and twenty plus years later I still enjoy the campy fun of the show and movie from time to time. The early trailers made me cringe, making me think we were getting a fusion of the Breakfast Club and Amazing Spider-man with a little Chronicle, Fant4stic,  Pacific Rim, and Twilight sprinkled in for good measure. To an extent, I was correct. The first act of this movie is pretty much what we get in the trailer, a edgy teen melodrama about kids who get superpowers from aliens. I’m very happy to say it really picks up during the 2nd and final acts. I laughed, cheered and even even felt kind of touched during a scene where our five teenagers with attitude actually bond over a campfire. If you are able to let go the obvious teen movie cliches here and there and the drastic changes to the source material, there’s some fun to be had. The actors portraying Jason, Billy, Kimberly, Trini, and Zach are surprisingly deep while still being relate-able and funny. Bryan Cranston as Zordon, Bill Hader as Alpha 5, and Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa are fine support. I wish they kept Rita’s appearance creepy and weathered throughout the film instead of a sex symbol clad in green armor at the end, but that is just me. The Zords are bad ass and the suits have there own kind of coolness, though I feel their could’ve been more of their original personalities in these new ones. Regardless of your stance on Power Rangers, this movie’s a fresh start; it’s not perfect but neither was the original either.

power rangers 2   GO GO POWER RANGERS !

Elite Dangerous PS4 review

planets

After years of waiting, Frontier finally brings Elite Dangerous to the PlayStation 4. Graphically it looks superior to the Xbox one version but not as good as the PC version making it visually the middle of the road. That being said none of them look bad. There are a few glitches in the game sadly, in both open and solo play I experienced some rubber banding where I would  move and be ripped back and eventually shoot forward, once it even destroyed my ship. That is few are far between, after probably 10 hours I’ve seen it twice. The sound is pretty much top tier a well with no noticeable issues.

For better or worse, and this will depend on the person playing, the game simply does not care about you. the tutorials are out of game (if you played the xbox version the controls line up perfectly between systems) and if you skip them the game basically explains very little. Outside of one optional mission the game gives you there i no real guidance on what you should be doing. The galaxy is a very large place, and the game does not make you feel as anything more than 1 pilot among the stars. If you are a fan of space or simulation games you should check it out, and if you are a fan of both you owe it to yourself to play it. As always, thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

 

Animal Farm

Animal farm1 “Four legs good, two legs bad.”- the summary of the ten governing commandments of Animal Farm. George Orwell wrote this disturbing parable about communism when tensions between The US and Soviet Union were at there peaks and the Cold War was in full swing. On a personal note, I didn’t begin reading books until after high school when I decided to take writing more seriously and Animal Farm was the first book I ever read without a report or school’s curriculum, though it was taught to me in the 8th grade. The story is short and sweet but effective. The Animals of Manor Farm live under the drunken neglect and tyranny of Mr. Jones. One night, an old respected pig named Old Major calls a meeting amongst all of the animals where he tells them his time is near an end but he had a dream where they would all be free, without man. A day or two later Major dies and life goes on. Finally comes the day when the  animal’s rebel and overthrow the Jones’s and cast them out. The word spreads; Jones tries to recapture the farm to no avail. From the ashes of Jones comes the rule of the pigs, Snowball, Napoleon, and Squealer. Snowball goes about trying to improve the animal’s lives and slowly they form there own laws, abilities to read and write, and eventually formulate a plan to build a windmill to power the farm. Suddenly Napoleon breaks the peace by unleashing a group of dogs he’d been hiding away on Snowball, chasing him out and taking control with Squealer manipulating the limited intelligence of the animals. History becomes distorted by false facts and promises; resources deplete to shit; and in the end with the heartless death of Animal Farm’s most loyal worker, the spirit breaks and suddenly the realize they became what they hated to begin with. The story is short but powerful- definitely a great book if you don’t read much or you want a more modern fairy tale. Do not expect a happy go lucky story for the kids.

Killing Floor 2 Review

killing floor 2

Killing Floor 2 is a game I got for free from the playstation network and admittedly i was not expecting much. It looked like a standard first person shooter that was basically a horde mode. While i admit that’s basically what it is, it is also pretty well done. Far more gory than i was expecting the controls are pretty fluid and the depth of weapon customization far surpassed what I thought we would get. I only played the multiplayer online mode and it was a nice mix of challenging and fun tho the boss did pretty much annihilate my entire team pretty quickly. One guy was caught alone and unprepared and the rest of us had no where near the team work required to beat this thing. There were a few things that got me tho. For example there is an extremely limited time to find the upgrade station that moves each round and upgrade your weapons which seems pretty daunting for new players. Another issue is there doesn’t seem to be a clear cut explanation of what each character is good for even tho a few of them are pretty self explanatory. All in all its a solid game that i would have been more than happy to have spent money on, and for free that makes it all the sweeter. Once again thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.