Movie Review – Page 11 – Savior Gaming

Blockers (2018)

Sorry, I couldn’t properly name the movie in the title, I didn’t have a picture of a rooster and I didn’t want to type out Cock Blockers in the title. You all know the movie tho, it features Leslie Mann and John Cena amongst many others trying to ruin their kids attempt at having an amazing night at prom.

Seriously, that is what this movie is. Julie, Kayla, and Sam are about to graduate high school and go to college but first is prom night. They decide to lose their virginity in one night. After their parents see their text messages tho, they decide to follow them around town and try to stop them.

As you could imagine the movie was quite commercially successful tho it did get some rather varied reviews from both fans and critics. Personally, while I recognize the movie wasn’t great it had its moments, and it did an admirable job of being an R rated adult comedy yet still having a nice message of family and friendship behind it. There was also a car explosion so I always enjoy that as well. This comedy won’t be for everyone and if you don’t like John Cena this won’t really change your mind tho it is a far cry from his wrestling persona. This is one of those times tho where there are no surprises, the trailers are what you are getting in the film. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Nun (2018)

The Nun is another movie from The Conjuring series that tells the story of, you guessed it, where the nun from The Conjuring 2 came from. Given how creepy she is this seems like it should be an awesome idea and concept. The problem is the movie is relegated to a needlessly convoluted story that bounces around and relies on jump scares for its horror as opposed to any real suspense or horror.

The movie starts in a cloistered castle with two nuns searching for something in a hurry and terrified. One is killed by something and the other hangs herself. Not long after a young man from the local village in Romania finds the nun and the Vatican sends a priest that is known as a miracle hunter and a soon to be nun to figure out if the place is still holy.

People in the town don’t speak of the place, and the man that found the nun, Frenchie, doesn’t want to go back but he basically wants to sleep with our soon to be nun Sister Irene sp he goes anyway because why not.

Soon after arriving weird things start happening, the nun Frenchie tossed in the ice house isn’t how he left her, Father Burke ends up buried alive somehow which somehow wasn’t the universal sign for leave now.

The story will also bounce around a ton and for no real reason. The blood of Jesus is also involved. The best part of the movie was the ending which ties in nicely with The Conjuring movies themselves and Frenchie himself being possessed and talked about in one of the classes taught by Warrens. This for me was the worst movie in a franchise I enjoy. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Silence (2019)

The Silence is a 2019 horror movie from Netflix and follows the trend of don’t make noise or you will die. It is actually quite similar to A Quiet Place except The silence is based off a 2015 book by Tim Lebbon. The book goes into more details about certain things but all in all the movie does a pretty good job explaining some things, but we will get there.

The movie starts by showing some miners busting through a wall and unleashing what appears to be some bats. These bats quickly swarm and kill them and thousands are released into Pennsylvania. We are then introduced to the Andrews family, most notably Ally (Kiernan Shipka) who lost her hearing in a car accident and Hugh (Stanley Tucci) which this may be the first time he hasn’t played at least a semi-gay man that I have seen. I mention this because he does that amazingly so I wasn’t sure how I would feel seeing him here as a straight man in a serious role, and he played his part amazingly as did the rest of the Andrews family.

The ancient bats quickly start terrorizing the eastern seaboard and even the military is powerless to do much. Entire cities like Philadelphia and Pittsburgh are quickly overrun and pretty much everyone killed. This isn’t explained great on how this occurs with a few thousand bats escaping a cave but they do show that they reproduce very quickly when they kill, to the point in a few days there are millions of them.

They, of course, can’t see and hunt off the sound everything makes, and there is plenty more going on. The movie isn’t getting great reviews but I can’t see why. The acting and script are solid, the movie does what it wants to do quite well and there are no glaring plot holes or defects with some pretty tense scenes as well. I can only assume people are just tired of the formula which I honestly understand. It is worth a watch, but if you are tired of movies like A Quiet Place and Bird Box, this may not be for you. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Young Adult (2012)

Young Adult is the story about a woman trying to get back a man from when she was younger. The one problem is that man is now married, with a daughter. Hey, why let that get in the way tho right?

Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron) decides to go back to her home and win back Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson) She also has a huge drinking problem, she is technically at some stage of drunk for most of the movie and if she isn’t she is about to be or is just waking up from a night of drinking. Along the way, I would like to say she makes new friends and learns life lessons, but she seriously mostly just drinks a lot and sleeps with people while trying to wreck a marriage. The movie isn’t great but it isn’t bad, and most importantly it is fun.

The aspect of her writing a book is also a pretty nice touch, and I didn’t even mind that there was no real ending because there didn’t need to be. I didn’t get the ending I wanted, I got the ending I needed and that is few and far between in movies these days really. Give this one a watch, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alien Warfare (2019)

Alien Warfare is an interesting movie. I don’t always mean that as a compliment either. The story is so stereotypically painful I almost think they did the whole thing on purpose as a joke to see if it could be done. The movie is a navy seal team is sent to investigate a top-secret base that is hiding something. I say that because of the President and CIA not telling them what they were hiding despite the fact that they were supposed to secure, instead just telling them if it is there they will know it when they see it.

Of course, the team has a wild card member that happens to be someone’s brother, and their father was also was a Navy Seal and oh yes, both the brother and father got someone killed on a mission because they are a hothead. Despite the fact that everyone disappeared, one scientist survived and knows a lot of things about, you guessed it the alien artifact that was found, the government messed with, and got everyone killed except for this one that happened to be in the one room that would save her.

Aliens are of course super advanced and can teleport but don’t kill any of these guys, and they are far too stupid to see they aren’t trying to murder anyone they just want their giant black rock looking device back. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but I will say this. Don’t watch this movie. It isn’t very good. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Shazam!-2019 (Savior)

Everyone is going to give you a big long post about How Shazam is really Captain Marvel. It is a long story that is only interesting to uber-nerds and fans of the legal system. So long story short, long before Marvel existed Shazam was Captain Marvel, DC sued the creator, eventually, DC ended up with the trademark for the story of Captain Marvel (Shazam) and Marvel copyrighted the name Captain Marvel for their character. Around 2012 DC changed the name to Shazam became most people that was his name anyway.

Anyway, as for the movie. It is an origin story for Shazam and how Billy Batson got his powers. In his case, he got them from a wizard in need of a champion before his powers were gone to fight the seven deadly sins that escaped when Dr. Thaddeus received their powers when he was pissed The Wizard decided he wasn’t worthy years earlier.

The movie looks pretty good, is well acted and is quite funny. Watching Billy and his brother Freddy figure out his powers is great and happily, the best parts aren’t given away in the previews. There is even a nice cameo from another DC hero.

I also enjoyed the fact that they know the type of character they have, and the history he has with DC and embraced it. I don’t want to spoil it, but it was a pleasant surprise. I do have a couple complaints tho. First, there were a couple spots that the CGI looked a bit cheap compared to the rest of the movie, most notably with the seven deadly sins. My biggest issue is the movie is over 2 hours long and it feels about 30 minutes longer than it needed to be. The ending just dragged for me and it isn’t that I didn’t enjoy it because the ending was good, it just felt like the dragged it on longer than it needed to be just to make the movie longer. It was, however, one of the best DC movies I have seen. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pet Sematary, 2019 (Savior)

So I feel I should tell you, I am probably going to make some statements that some may feel are a bit controversial. Some may agree, some may not. Feel free to berate me in the comments.

First, let me say this. The 2019 version of Pet Sematary is better than the 1989 version. Second, the 1989 version wasn’t all that good anyway. Third, how did I not realize the movie was spelled with an S?

That really isn’t important, just weird I never noticed. On to the review. If you are reading this, I am sure you read the book or saw the original. In the grand scheme of things, the story hasn’t changed. Doctor Louis moves with his family to the country to slow down and spend more time with the family. His wife, Rachel as a troubled past that will come and go throughout the movie and then the kids Ellie and Gage try their best to adjust to the new life. Gage is young and his one job most of the movie and that is to be cute, and Hugo and Lucas (Yes twins) Lavoie do the job amazingly. Ellie (Jete Lawerence) also does a commendable job and plays her role very well tho I feel John Lithgow steals the show with his role as Jud.

As the movie goes on their cat, Church (sorry guys, no name here, Church was played by multiple cats) dies and Jud introduces Louis to what is beyond the place the locals bury their animals. To a place where the dead doesn’t stay dead. The cat comes back as we all know, but Church isn’t what he used to be. The friendly cat is hissing and scratching and bringing home dead animals and even stops Louis from getting some man and wife time with Rachel. The cat is truly evil.

Now I don’t want to go any further in the story as there are some changes, and you will be happy to know it has been reported a few places that the man Stephen King himself approved of the changes. I enjoyed the changes personally tho I do have to admit while the movie was good enough (but not great) it isn’t a very good book to movie adaptation. It was, however, a good movie. If you are looking for an accurate to the book experience you are not going to get it. If you are looking to simply be entertained, this is worth a watch. Tho before I go, anyone that has seen the movie can you answer a question for me and @torstenvblog? How the hell did they get the cow to the burial place? Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

Did you ever watch a movie that makes you think, what the hell did I just watch? Then you have to stop and realize the movie you just watched or the game you just played was by no means good, well planned or even well done? Then realize for some reason you can’t explain, you greatly enjoy it? That is Wet Hot American Summer. That is also the beauty of the movie. The movie is just dumb, but it is meant to be. The further the movie goes the more ridiculous it gets. There is a Vietnam vet cook that starts out as kind of the crazed cook and by the end he is talking to a can of vegetables, dry humping a can of vegetables. By the way here is who you should imagine doing that.

Yep, that is Chris Meloni dry humping a refrigerator. That is also the level of WTF we are dealing with. Also not even the weirdest part of the movie. It is almost like they wanted to make the most 80’s movie possible. The movie also takes place in one day, the last day of camp. There honestly isn’t even much of a true story, it is just a bunch of people trying to enjoy the last day of camp, mostly trying to get laid. there are about a dozen mini stories going on including one counselor trying to get a kid to take a shower, which he hasn’t done all summer. The movie is just all kinda strange. Tho I do say go give it a watch, it is entertaining. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Witch Files (2018)

The Witch Files is a movie about as you can guess, witches. When a group of five young women, all of which are pretty unhappy meet in detention, Jules shows them her that being a witch has some perks. After using her powers to get them out of detention, Jules has them all meet up at the local park where the town allegedly killed a bunch of witches years ago where they form a new coven.

Throughout the movie, they will find they can do all sorts of things, like levitating a book, convince people they already paid for things when they didn’t and even get one of their moms to quit drinking. They, of course, will discover this has a price, and they all start to suffer some physical ailments, like degrading vision or loss of hearing since as we have learned from so many movies, video games and anime in the past, you can’t get anything for free from magic.

There are also the other cliches, such as one of them betraying the group, someone being old as hell and all that other stuff. Nothing in this movie is new or innovative or even done in a new way. It is all done pretty well tho, the acting is great and the script is pretty good, the special effects are done nicely for what is clearly not a AAA movie. The movie isn’t great, but it is certainly good enough. If you like movies about witches, there is no reason not to check this one out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Haunting On Fraternity Row (2018)

Every so often I come across a movie that just hits the trifecta of a bad movie. The story is bad, the script is bad and even the twist ending felt thrown together and needless. The story is pretty standard horror fare. A college fraternity has its biggest party of the year and a demon is accidentally released. How was it released in this movie? Well, a pledge drops a keg of beer, it falls down the stairs into the basement and smashes a hole in the wall. I don’t really know how this released the demon, it seems to have knocked over a cup the demon was locked in somehow.

The script was also horrible, to the point the guy trying to figure out what was going on, whom I stoned the entire movie so nobody believes him, did not know what a hospice was and even after looking it up, still did not know what the hell it even was. The rest of the movie is just as bad, most of the movie is full of equally as bad logic or crumby lines. The movie takes forever to get to the point as well. You will spend the vast majority of it just watching them get ready for a party and just talking.

Once the party starts it is also mostly just them talking and drinking, the occasional topless scene and dancing and booze. When the big reveal finally happens there really is nothing scary, and the demon mostly just spends its time cockblocking everyone and occasionally ripping out someone’s eyes. This will slowly escalate until it just kills everyone at the party since it gets stronger as it eats peoples eyes.

The ending is a twist you honestly won’t see coming, and it makes pretty much no sense at all but at this point, you will just be grateful the movie is over. It is very rare I have nothing good to really say about a movie or truly regret watching it, but this is one of those times. Don’t waste your time on this one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.