Tag: Movies

Teeth (2007)

This movie is essentially about every guys worst nightmare. No, not a girl knocking at his door a year after a one night stand saying you are the father.

There isn’t much to this movie honestly. It is the typical high school drama of a girl struggling to find herself and keeping true to her abstinence. Oh yea, she is hardcore waiting for marriage. (Not that I have an issue with that per say it just isn’t for me)

Flash forward to every mans worst nightmare. The name of the movie, Teeth? Yea her lady bits have got some bite to them. And yes a rapist will literally lose his dick, not that rapist deserve to have one anyway.

Now any long time reader or even read a few reviews person knows I like to leave out major spoilers and most of the plot points. There are a few surprises in the movie and it is well put together. Its worth checking out, just don’t go into it expecting anything more than a fun but flawed experience. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)

Picking up where the first Cabin Fever left off with Shawn Hunter..ok the guy who played him playing someone else, getting hit by a school bus. The worlds worst cop returns to brag about the time a moose got hit by a car and ended up in a lady’s front seat and swears up and down the bus hit a moose not a person.

Yea that is basically how this movie is going to go. From here the movie basically turns into the usual high school drama movie except one of the students is also a stripper. Who also in the worlds weirdest revenge plot gives a nerd a blow job in the school bathroom…maybe not quite the usual high school drama stuff.

As prom night gets closer the worlds worst cop starts to figure out that maybe the illness is spreading and tracks down a water truck shipment.

Honestly I am going to skip ahead. As entertaining as the movie is at times most of the details are pretty par for the course. Nothing is all that new until prom, so lets go there.

Here we are. Prom night. After a small fight it turn out some group I can only assume is the CDC shows up with guns, locks the doors and begins to toss in tear gas and begins to kill every living person they can find. As our main characters try to escape more and more people are killed.

The end of this movie is an actual blood bath. There is blood and death everywhere. And of course 1 person once again escapes. I can’t say the movie is good, but it is fun. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cube (1997)

So I’m on twitter the other day and this guy I occasionally talk to informed me this 1997 classic..yea I say classic its 20 years old,is now on Netflix. (I will get to the other movie when I have time to read a movie)

Cube is essentially the movie that started the whole Saw movie thing. Don’t believe me? Go watch it. Or just read the general plot.

The movie starts off with people waking up not knowing where they are, with people they don’t know. Quickly they discover they are free to roam their general area but must find a way out of the building they are in. The building is square rooms, that all look basically the same of various colors with numbers near all the hatch doors.

I am sure you are wondering where the Saw part comes in. Well certain rooms have various traps set up to kill you, for example one of the escape experts gets his face burned off with a sort of acid spray.

Yes I did say escape expert. There is also an ex cop, a doctor what can only be described as an idiot savant and an office worker that designed the shell of the cube itself.

Added to all this is their struggle to decipher the connection between the traps and the numbers between rooms and how to get out of this death trap. It isn’t hard to see how this could be the father of the Saw movies, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Haunting Of Whaley House (2013)

First thing first. I don’t want to waste any ones time. If you aren’t a fan of really slow movies that won’t get interesting until later, skip this movie. It wasn’t until around the hour mark the movie was anything much more than people standing around a haunted house.

With that out of the way, Penny takes a job at the Whaley House, the most haunted house in America. After some weird day at work and telling her friends they get excited and convince her to use her key to enter the house at night for a ghost hunt.

Yea I know, this is why friends are a bad idea. Anyway after calling a cousin with some ghost hunting equipment whom brings a pretty famous psychic and away we go….

Ok honestly at this point they mostly wonder around the house talking about ghost related stuff like cold spots and vortexes.

A bit later it gets a little more exciting and the ghost do more things and it really gets into the lore and back story of why this haunted house is even haunted in the first place. By all means if you like a good movie with some build up check this movie out, but I realise many of you like more excitement. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)

What happens when a bus full of jocks, a few cheerleaders and a couple nerds get trapped on a bus with a demon type monster attacking it? Watch this movie to find out.

The movie starts on a farm with a father, his older teen son and his young son doing some work. The young son discovers one of the scare crows he was hanging wasn’t a scare crow at all. Of course every 23 springs for 23 days it can eat and humans are the main course.

After the young farm boy, our high school jocks are next. First the coach, then the bus driver, then the assistant coach.

Every so often we switch back to the dad building something in the barn, just hammering away with no clear indication as to what it is. I mention this because the pissed off farmer and his son are important later.

After awhile of being tormented and the bus being flipped and some implied racism the teens are forced to make a run for it. A few are picked off by the demon until eventually our farmer hero arrives in his trusty pick up being driven by his son. What was dad building? A modified stake driver to throw harpoons. The final battle is on. Who wins and who loses? Truthfully the people watching the movie win. A fun movie with some deep thoughts and some nice action scenes. One that is absolutely worth checking out if you have the option. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

This movie has a special place in my heart. Not because I love the movie, tho it is a good one. The sound is nice the acting is solid and the visuals are good. No, see my ex wife ( Hello ex wife) used to be find the song really creepy. You know the one. “Jeepers, creepers where’d you get those peepers”..any way i’d watch the movie and creep around the house singing the song just to freak her out….also you probably understand why she is the ex wife.

Jeepers Creepers is the story of a demon/devil sort of monster that terrorizes a highway harvesting humans for body parts it needs to survive and may be one of the most under rated horror movies of the early 2000-2010 decade. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

My Bloody Valentine (2010)

Look first off I’m not even sure the picture I used even has to do with the movie. I mostly found pictures from the T.V. series Supernatural. Seriously guys Dean has been in other stuff.

Any way Dean plays Tom a guy that survived a killers attack 10 years prior and left town only to return when his dad dies and leaves him a mine. Of course he wants to sell the run down mine of bad memories but Dean..I mean Tom falls in love.

What follows is a horror thriller that will leave you guessing til the very end about who the killer is. People will die. Truckers, naked women, a midget. There is really something for everyone here. Highly recommend checking this one out, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Be Afraid (2017)

I have seen a few of these sleep paralysis movies lately and I am forced to admit this one is very well done. The movie doesn’t do anything great, but it also does not do anything badly. The characters are pretty well written the story while standard was also pretty good.

The usual applies here. Family moves to a small town, town has weird things happen, little girl was missing yada yada yada. We have all seen it before. Son comes home from college meets local girl. All standard affair.

Where the movie really shines is that you believe this small town is simply a small town with no real secrets. Even the town drunk seems to be just a father distraught over the loss of a kid. But alas nothing is as it seems. The sleep paralysis that will soon plague a select few and the strange dreams are no dreams but creatures with a nefarious and unclear plot of their own. Not a movie for everyone but worth a watch. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Babysitter (2017)

The new movie from Netflix was not quite what I was expecting. The story is of a kid named Cole and his babysitter that happens to be one of his best friends and object of his 12 year old affections. And why wouldn’t she be? She is smart, attractive and protects him from bullies.

Inevitably as babysitters will do she invites friends over after Cole goes to bed. Curious as to what goes on (his close friend suggest orgy which he of course googles) he sneaks to the top of the stairs and discovers normal shenanigans. Spin the bottle, kissing, stabbing a guy with two knives in the head and collecting the blood… Well normal for a cult. What follows is a tale of gruesome and exaggerated death, love and coming of age and a randomly placed but awesome car wreck. Any fan of horror comedy will enjoy this one but fair warning, the movie is not for everyone. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Stranger Than Fiction (2000)

This movie actually reminds me of an old 80’s movie. A group of friends go to the bar one night for drinks, egg a guys car that screwed over a friend at work and go home. Turns out one of them went to a gay bar picked a guy up. He got a bit rough and in self defense gets killed. In an attempt to help their friend they try to hide the body.

Driving to a foundry to destroy the body they run over a homeless man. Yup. That happens. After going to a wedding with the bodies in the trunk of a car it turns out the homeless guy isn’t dead, but the car gets towed.

Trying to get the car back a man in the garage attempts to blackmail them into giving them money and they kill him. Eventually they finally get rid of the bodies to discover an old lady neighbor knows. She also ends up dead but it is debatable whether or not that was natural causes or murder. The movie itself is quite strange but entertaining. It may also just be the ramblings of a writer in a bar, but is it a work of fact or fiction? Only one way to find out. Give it a watch and may the gaming gods bring you glory.